I recommend reading this slowly, capturing every essence of each word; read it with a slow piano tune, and just concentrate.
You were happy.
God and you were inseparable.
But one day you met him…
Next week, you two begin to talk.
By next month, you two get together.
And now…
You love him.
He has given you a purpose for you to smile every day.
You see his texts every morning greeting you in the phone.
He's perfect.
We're perfect.
You love him.
Everything's great.
One month passes by, and you two are like cookies n' cream.
Everything's perfect.
He's perfect.
We're perfect.
You love him.
He brought you flowers one day.
Everything is like a dream.
Too good to be true.
But you love him.
Everything's great.
He's perfect.
We're perfect.
I love him.
Out of nowhere, you two begin to fight in the day you had your two month anniversary.
Tears.
Emotional shut down.
"But it's okay, it's just one fight, Amy," you tell yourself.
After all, he's perfect.
We're perfect.
With him, I feel safe.
One week later, you two fight again. This time, he calls you ignorant.
Stupid.
But it's alright.
He's perfect.
We're perfect.
Nothing's wrong right now.
It's just a nightmare.
You can wake up.
Next day, you two fight again.
"Knuckles, you're impossible…"
"No, Amy, you're pathetic…"
"Knuckles…"
The annoying beeping sound annoys you.
He hung up.
Your tears are all that are remaining right now.
But you love him.
Your life is empty without him.
You slowly forget about God.
You slowly forget about reality.
But God doesn't forget about you.
Reality is always present.
You two are supposedly inseparable, even with all the constant arguing.
But, you don't care.
You love him.
He says he loves you.
Everything's perfect…
Everything's great.
Months pass, and you are losing weight. Everything you see is your ribcage and a delicate frame.
Your tears are your morning breakfast, your dinner, and your midnight snack.
But you still say you cannot live without him.
You say he is everything for you.
You still love him.
A big fight, you break up with him.
You're tired.
But, you weren't prepared. You enter in panic, and begin to kick wildly in the bathroom.
I can't lose him, you think, I need him in my life.
God is still looking at you with open arms.
But He is invisible for you.
You don't see His desperate attempts to grab your attention.
You don't see His desperate attempts to tell you that he is not for you…
God has someone better.
But you welcome him back into your life.
You already read the book, and even if you knew how it ended, you read it again.
Months pass, and you two break up again.
You are tired, exhausted, and you barely think about God.
But God is there for you, and you barely remember He's there.
But suddenly, you remember again.
God was there the entire time, and you didn't notice Him.
You talk to God again, and your soul is slowly getting stronger, and you are eating again.
But one day, he comes back, the day after your birthday.
He walked all the way from his house to yours.
He brings you flowers, your favorite chocolate, a teddy bear, and an apology.
You cry out of confusion, hurt, and somewhere in between, happiness.
Illusion.
You welcome him back, but things get worse.
You begin to lose weight again.
The shine in your eyes goes away.
Again, you are sent down spiraling down the same tunnel you thought you had escaped.
You read the book, and you know the ending like the palm of your hand.
But you love him.
Time passes, and everything gets bad.
Then, worse.
Then, horrible.
God warns you by several people that your sanity is being drained away.
Your mind.
Your soul.
You.
You take the decision of your life.
You have to end this for good.
You break up with him.
He cries.
It breaks your heart to hear him like that…
But you are strong.
"I love you, baby," he cries and weeps.
"I know. But I can't take this anymore, Knuckles."
"Call me Knuxie. Call me Knuxie, Amy…"
"No. I have to go. You will never change."
Weeks pass, you feel better.
You remember about God again.
You slowly become your old self.
People don't ask what's wrong anymore.
You are now quiet, serene…
You and God are inseparable again.
You won't let anything or anyone come between you and God.
You feel that God is embracing you… He has been there since the start.
You love Him.
That seems right.
Now you're not afraid to wake up.
Finally, after so long…
Your reality is far more beautiful than your dreams.
Based on my own experience. I think that Knuckles was the best representation of my ex boyfriend, and Amy was the best representation of myself. Girls, never let a guy beat you down emotionally like this. If any boy does this to you, he doesn't love you. It is time to stand up for yourself.
Just felt like writing this. I don't know to whom God is talking, but I felt the urge to write this. Heck, I don't like KnuxAmy, even. To God be all the glory.
Oh, about Camouflage… I'm blocked with that story. I think I'll start another one just to get my mind cleared.
Love, Nameria.