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Art of Flirtation

"So how's it going, Loser-Mouth?"

"Oh, that's so original. What are we, back in high school?"

"Might as well be. You sure as hell haven't changed."

"Thanks."

"Wasn't a compliment, Yamada."

"I know, but you're so stupid that you don't know what a compliment is, so I can't take it personally."

"Touché."

"Do you even know what that means?"

"'Touché, an acknowledgement of when an opponent scores a hit, whether literal, or figuratively.'"

"...wow. Impressive, Beech."

"It's Ray."

"Uh, yeah. Not gonna happen."

"Now who's acting like they're in high school?"

"Excuse me? You called me Yamada first."

"Ah, but you never gave me permission to call you anything else, did you?"

"If that was an innuendo, Ray, I'm going to kick you so hard that your grandparents will be able to feel it. When did you get so smart anyway?"

"College does that to people. You know, the studying, professors, scholarly atmosphere—"

"—frat parties, constant sex, sororities. Mo's one of my best friends, Ray. You don't think word gets around?"

"Aw, is someone jealous?"

"Aw, is someone delusional? As if I'd be jealous of where you decide to stick your—"

"Hey, we're in a church. Watch the language."

"Ah, yes. The entire reason I'm spending my Saturday with you. I can't believe Mo chose me to be her Maid-of-Honor knowing that Scott was going to choose you as his best man."

"Speaking of which, isn't there a rule about the Maid-of-Honor and the best man always getting together?"

"Watch many chick flicks, Beech? And just when I thought you were actually the badass rocker jerk-face you always sell yourself as. Got anymore secrets I should know about?"

"Shove it somewhere else, Yamada. And seriously, are we back to last names again? I thought we were making progress."

"Why the hell would I want to make progress with you, Ray? I'm just putting up with you because Mo's my friend and I'm damn well going to make sure her wedding is the best thing these walls have ever seen."

"You sound like Scott. Seriously, he's my man but I'm going crazy with him worrying about the arrangements of the carnations that Mo's mother's auntie wants on her dress."

"…that was actually kind of funny. Congratulations—you've officially learned the difference between being an asshole and actually being humorous."

"Seeing that this is coming from the Queen of Comedy herself…"

"Are you saying I'm not funny?"

"Uh…hey, shut up. Someone's coming."

"Hey, what are you doing—ow!"

A thud. A door slamming shut.

"Oh. My. God. Please tell me that you did not just pull us into a closet."

"Ssh! In case you've forgotten, we're here to make sure everything's perfect—after hours. If we're caught, we could get arrested, and without me to kick his ass, poor Scott's going to freak out and leave his perfect little Indian bride at the alter. You don't want that, do you?"

"…fine."

A silence. The two stay perfectly silent, Stella determinately not focusing on the way she was pressed into Ray's body. The closet was small, and she could feel the back wall is she stretched out her foot. As the footsteps receded, she started trying to put some space between her and the male currently cradling her in his arms.

"Hey, Yamada?"

"Yeah?"

"I take that back. You've definitely changed since high school, and if you don't stop squirming, we're going to have a problem."

"I swear, Ray. If it wasn't for Mo, I'd beat your sorry—"

"Stella, I'm not kidding. Stop rubbing your ass over my crotch, or I'm not going to take responsibility for what happens next."

"I'm trying to off you, asshole."

"Where? There's no room."

"I don't know, anywhere's better than right—hey, watch your hands!"

"I think they're coming back!"

"What—mmph."

The footsteps pause too close for comfort and a flashlight's beam sweeps briefly under the door, but luckily, the guard doesn't try the knob. As the lights disappear, Stella realizes that Ray still hasn't removed his right hand from her mouth—or his left hand from around her waist.

"Get off!"

"Ow! Geez, Yamada, you'd think I'd been trying to molest you instead of saving your sorry ass."

"My ass is awesome, now open the door before I use your head as a battering ram."

"Alright, alright—" a pause. "Uh, Yamada? It won't open."

"What do you mean, it won't—" another pause. "Shit."

"Crap."

"Of all the days—"

"Of all the people—"

"You're lucky I'm not claustrophobic."

"You're lucky I told Scott we were coming. If we don't go back in a couple hours, he'll now something's up and come rescue us."

"Oh, good."

"I know."

"Don't push it—wait a minute. What did you mean, 'of all the people?'"

"I'm stuck in a closet the size of two chairs with a girl that hates my guts. What do you think I mean?"

"You have to admit, I have good reason."

"No, actually, you don't. We haven't seen each other for years! Under what possible evidence can you say that I'm still the jerk I was in high school?"

"So you admit it."

"Oh, for heaven's sake—we were teenagers! I was fifteen when everything happened, and the girl I'd been crushing on all year spit lemonade in my face. What was I supposed to do, roll over and let her and her new band kick us out of—oh crap. I said that aloud, didn't I?"

"…"

"…"

"…why don't you repeat that thing about the girl who spit lemonade in your face."

"It was nothing."

"Oh, no. That was not nothing. That was most definitely something."

"Brilliant, Yamada. I don't know what I saw in you."

"If you're pulling my leg, here, Ray. I'm going to have to kill you. You're telling me that you, Ray Beech, had a crush on me back in high school."

"You make it sound like a crime."

"You tried everything possible to destroy us! If you liked me so much, why the hell did you try so hard to shut us down?" Stella's eyes narrowed. "Unless—you were totally trying to get my attention."

"Why the hell are you laughing?"

"It's so damn cute! Ray Beech pulling a girl's pigtails because he has a crush and doesn't know how to tell her. I can't believe you never let me know. Even after Scott joined Lemonade Mouth—"

"You treated me like I had the plague. We couldn't spend two minutes together without biting each other's heads off!"

Stella leaned as far back as she could, trying to get a good look at his face. "Ray, Ray, Ray." She said, voice growing husky, "Want to hear a secret?"

Ray felt his eyes darken as she inched closer, closing the distance and sliding back into his lap. Stella's breath was warm as mumbled something into his neck, and Ray froze, trying not to let her nearness affect him. He was Ray Beech, for heaven's sake, he'd had more girls than he could ever hope to remember.

There was no reason why this free-spirited, independent woman should be making him react like a pubescent boy experiencing his first hormone rush.

Stella felt something hot stirring in her stomach as she heard Ray's breathing catch. She ran her hands higher up his muscled chest, letting them splay over his shoulders as she leaned up and whispered, "Guys who can hold their own in a fight…really turn me on."

She might have said more, but just then Ray forces his mouth over hers and suddenly they're kissing and grinding against each other and Stella realizes that nothing else needs to be said. Letting out a small moan as Ray's hands find their way under her shirt, she just hopes that Scott takes his sweet time before coming to find them.