Disclaimer: insert snappy comment about how author does not own Naruto etc.
Warning: boyXboy -if you don't like it then I don't know why you're reading anything written by me…, OMFG there's no death in this one (its my first one, you should clap for me…or not, that's okay too), there is unhappiness however, oh so much unhappiness… and tears, oh how I love making people cry. Read on my faithful minions (all two, maybe three of you)
Strangers Once Again
It was rare for one to chose this life, most were chosen, told, or selected, not one person truly chose that path. But Naruto had, despite the people who cared for him begging him not to. No one wanted to see their sun burnt out, but when Sasuke had walked away from Naruto and their home, their sun had died. Slowly turning itself into a black home, folding upon himself, taking back the joy he had spread. He slowly lost everything that defined him as Naruto. He never went back to the ramen shop, he no longer whined about missions, he no longer yelled his feelings. He no longer smiled his bright smile that lighted even the darkest of shadows, the one that had broken even Sasuke. He no longer tried to win everyone's attention, in fact he rebuked anything that brought spotlight to him. He became the opposite of the Naruto they had all had known, the one they had watched grow up or grow up with, the Naruto who had begrudgingly earned their respect, and their love. He became distant and cold, removed and uncaring, even more so than Sasuke had ever been.
It seems all the traits Naruto hated about Sasuke had rubbed off on him.
He took the place of Sasuke, filling his role all too well, but there was no one to take the role only Naruto could fill. The mischievous gleam in his eyes was gone, the childish sparkles wiped away and they would never return. His eyes had turned to a dull grey, a faded blue, nothing close to the brilliant blue they had once been. Now they seemed dead, blank compared to the emotion they had once held, the happiness and pure innocent joy they had once portrayed.
They tried, but even Iruka and Sakura were harshly pushed away. It was in fact on the day that Kakashi tried to talk to Naruto, that Naruto made his final choice. He pushed Kakashi away, but not before Kakashi could tell the boy in a low, flat voice that, to the village, Sasuke was just another rouge ninja, another betrayer of their village, but to them, their team, their broken and patched up family, he was dead. It was the only time Naruto showed emotion since his fall, as he looked up at his sensei with such hopelessness and pain that Kakashi actually flinched.
"To me, he is worse than dead. You can lose teammates, friends…lovers to death and know that they will never come back and nothing can change that. But I lost him to betrayal, to the lust for power, to- to vengeance and it hurts that he could still come back, that he is alive, that he could still love me. That its not impossible for everything to go back to how it was before. But what hurts the most is that all these things could happen, its just that he won't allow them to." Naruto's eyes glistened with unshed tears and Kakashi reached out to comfort the hurt boy that stood before him. But in a second Naruto's face had returned to its emotionless mask, his eyes cold and unforgiving, the tears gone, as if they had never been there. He stepped away from Kakashi's outstretched arm, not even acknowledging the attempt at comfort. He looked Kakashi in the eye and Kakashi realized that the Naruto he had watched grow, succeed and fail, learn to love, and learn of betrayal and loss but not allow it to alter his childish innocence and simple happiness, was dead now. And before him stood a young man who knew only of hatred, pain and abandonment. Carrying only the most terrible memories with him like a burden, the memory of being despised and not knowing why, of being scorned and of being thought a failure, a monster. And of being betrayed by the one he truly loved and had loved him back, of having revenge chosen over him. Of being just one who was in the way of Sasuke's twisted dream.
Reality had crashed down around Naruto all too fast, forcing him to leave his childhood behind and having to let go of the dream he and Sasuke had shared. Of having it harshly ripped away, denying Naruto, in the cruelest way, his only chance for a happy ending.
"I am joining the Anbu." Naruto said indifferently
"No Naruto, no." Kakashi uncharacteristically said in a desperate tone.
"I've already chosen." Naruto said as he walked away.
Kakashi hung his head, fighting with all his numbed emotions to hold back the hot tears. He had lost Sasuke, failing the boy and now, now he had lost another, failed another. Two, two out of three had lost, and he finally wept. For they had been like sons to him, and now the boys they had been, the boys he loved, were gone, as good as dead. More hot tears streamed from his eyes, he wept because innocence had been lost that day and it would never come back, it couldn't. One more walked down the unforgiving path, one more soul had been tainted, one more had to face the harsh reality of killing who has to be killed, of slaughtering friends, and never looking back. And of facing the horrible truth of what a true ninja really is: a useable emotionless weapon. But he cried, because he knew that Naruto already knew of this, he had known since the day Sasuke left, he cried because Naruto was perfect for the Anbu and it was something he had never wanted for the once innocent boy.
And so Naruto joined the Anbu, quickly climbing the ranks, he was the best, or perhaps in this world- the worst. He was only rivaled by Itachi's records, and he soon matched and surpassed them. He truly was a monster now. Not a monster created by the village, but one born from betrayal and a broken heart that could never mend, so it died. An emotionless killer, all too perfect, born from heartbreak, its all that he was and all that he could ever be. To be anything else was impossible. And by the time Sasuke had returned it was far too late. The moment Sasuke walked away was the moment Naruto had fallen from grace, it was in that moment he was so far lost that no one could save him. And now, years later he was only farther gone.
This was not the Naruto he had left behind. The Naruto Sasuke had known was dead.
"Where's the Naruto I knew and loved!?" Sasuke screamed. The years away from Naruto had only made his love grow for the boy, he would do anything for him, he still loved him.
"Dead and buried." Naruto responded in a flat tone. He had fallen the opposite direction of Sasuke,
Help me, I'm falling.
he had fallen through hatred and past longing, and into numbness. Love was merely a word to him, one to be used by other people, never one for him to use. Sasuke was shocked into silence, this was not his Naruto…was it? Finally he spoke up in a broken voice, "Don't you remember what we had?" he asked.
The blood Naruto had spilled had washed away the memories he had treasured the most.
"No." the simple word was said in an unbelievably cold tone, a dead and cruel tone. Sasuke wanted to believe that it was the Anbu that had done this to him, but he knew this was not the creation of the Black Ops, it was his and his alone.
"Don't do this Naruto!" Sasuke begged.
"No, I have made this choice and I can not turn back.", there was no waver in Naruto's voice, his response was given like a well delivered line.
"Can't, or won't?" Sasuke asked bitterly. Naruto almost had to close his eyes to hide the pain in his grey blue gaze from Sasuke, almost.
"I can't" he said simply.
"I-I love you Naruto, I always have and I always will. Don't do this! Please!?" he begged, feeling the hope drain from his words, "Don't- don't you still love me?", he asked desperately, hoping, praying for the answer he knew he would never receive, but could only hope for, pray for.
Empty hope.
"I feel nothing, Sasuke, nothing at all." Naruto's cold voice cut into Sasuke's chilled heart. And with that Naruto turned away from Sasuke. He never hesitated as he walked away from the only person who had ever truly loved him. Who he had loved. He had loved Sasuke -more than anyone before him, and unknowingly at the time,- more than anyone to come in the future, but when Sasuke left to follow Orochimaru, Naruto had lost his frail ability to love another, not only his ability but his will, his heart had never healed. And then when Sasuke had returned from completing his goal, expecting everything to fall back into place he had been greeted with a fallen Naruto.
It's too late, he's fallen away, he'll never forgive and he'll never forget
…the memories drown him.
He had tried to save Naruto, not truly believing that Naruto, his blond angel, his sun, had fallen. Until he had heard those merciless words, "I feel nothing Sasuke, nothing at all." and had looked into the now blank eyes of the boy before him. This truly was not his Naruto, Naruto was long dead, this was just a ghost left behind. Sasuke wept, for he had lost the one thing in his world that had brought him happiness, the only person he had ever really grown to care about. And he had no one to blame but himself, he had killed Naruto, who was, in turn, killing Sasuke.
Murder and Suicide, hand in hand.
He cried for Naruto, for the dead boy's broken heart, and for his own.
Not even crystal liquid droplets can heal the wounds that are made by a loved one - they both knew that now.
And as Sasuke turned his head away from the sight of the retreating blond, letting the tears roll down his flawless cheeks.
Pausing before he looked up at his fallen angel, he knew he was to follow the boy. The only place left to go was the Anbu, the home of the hopeless and heartless.
Knowing broken hearts never mend, knowing better days won't come,
Sasuke chose the path Naruto had, as he walked behind the boy, there would be no turning back. And as he watched the beautifully cold boy disappear into the shadows of the night he could only think of what their path entailed. Lost innocence and bloodstained hands, of killing without remorse, of being a tool, of living for revenge.
Forget and erase the memories…
Years later
It was as if the three years Sasuke had been gone never happened, but those times before his disappearance were also erased. As if they had never shared those moments together, as if their love had never been there, as if they had never known each other. As if…they were strangers, once again. They weren't lovers, they weren't even friends, nor anything less, and never anything more. They were merely two who were in the same time and place and situation.
It was like their love never existed.
"Our love is like a long ago dream that never really existed." Sasuke whispered the shadows gracing his face, shielding his eyes. Naruto just turned away from black-haired avenger.
A/N: Ha, hahahahahaha! Unrequited love, I love it in my sick twisted demented way. Now…review or I shall steal all of your left socks, muwhahahaha…I'm done now.