It hurts.
"S-Sasuke...! You are bleeding!"
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"I'm really sorry...!"
Sasuke looked at the vast sky through the window as he ignored the apologizing blonde. The stinging pain in his left eye was hard to bear, but he knew that now was not the time to show that it hurt him. His fingers touched the bandage that covered his eye lightly and flinched slightly in pain.
"D-Does it hurt-"
It... really hurts.
"I don't feel anything," he mumbled softly as he shifted his vision onto the closed door, where he knew his butler would be 'speaking' to the parents of this person – Uzumaki Naruto - agitatedly. Perhaps this blonde would pay a huge price for the damage he caused.
He caused him to become...
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"S-Sasuke... You're bleeding!"
He groaned softly in pain as his hands went over to lightly touch where the stinging pain was. It was in his left eye, and he felt something moist trail down his cheek seconds later.
Crimson. Blood.
His left eye was... bleeding.
"Sasuke, are you alright? Hey, are you still with me?"
It hurt too much for him to even try to move it in order to look around. From the corner of his vision, a blood-coated object could be seen. He didn't need to see it to know what it was; it was a baseball.
Would he be blinded?
The panicking voice of the blonde slowly, slowly faded away as black spots appeared in the sky.
"What have you done to him, Naruto?"
And the last thing he saw before he passed out was the mop of blonde locks.
His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edges of the mirror tightly. His raven hair fell across his left eye, covering what was underneath. The apologizing voice of the blonde rang in his mind again as he swept his raven hair away, showing his bandaged eye. The stains of blood were still fresh; he could still feel the stinging pain.
"You can never see in your left eye anymore."
He bit his bottom lip hard as he pushed the grey-framed mirror out of his sight, hearing the loud crash it made as it broke into pieces.
"Uchiha-sama, a person named Uzumaki Naruto is looking for you."
Sasuke looked at his butler who was standing at the doorway, and knew he was staring at the new mess he had made. Was he going to at least reprimand him? Or was he going to ignore it, like when Sasuke had broken things before?
"Uchiha-sama...?"
He wasn't blamed.
"I'm going."
Sasuke walked out of his dark room and past his butler who had served the Uchiha family for more than fifty years. He knew why he wasn't getting reprimanded or blamed. It was clear. He heard the whispers behind him. Near the end of the corridor.
"Another thing broken...?"
Just as he had expected.
"We can't blame him, after all he can't see with his left eye anymore. It must be a shock for him."
Because of this. His fingers pressed onto the bandage, drawing more blood out as he turned to look at the two maids. When did people start to be unable to differ right from wrong...? Just because he was injured, he did not want this special treatment that he actually 'deserved'.
Pitying him?
"U-Uchiha-sama."
It was disgusting.
"Get out."
"P-Pardon...?"
He didn't want to waste his time hearing words of comfort, words of pity. It was so sick hearing those words again and again.
"I said-" He could feel his left eye stinging "-Get out of here."
Clenching his fists tightly as he walked down the carpeted stairs, he could hear the girls apologizing behind him as they followed him, panicked. He did not want to hear any apologies right now.
"Uchiha-sama...!"
By the sound of the footsteps, Sasuke knew that it belonged to his butler.
"All of you are dismissed. You aren't needed here, not now."
Sasuke didn't turn to look at their surprised faces. He needed some time alone, without people pitying him and giving him special treatment. He was being selfish and unreasonable, he knew. He was that sort of person. It wasn't too late to realize that. It's best if they are gone.
Lifting his head up, he saw bright, blue-coloured eyes looking at him.
"Sasuke."
Sasuke remained silent as the butler looked at him for the last time before the door was closed. The butler who had taken care of him since he was three.
He didn't even know what he was doing anymore, driving all of them away. Since the first day he came back from the hospital, he had gotten rid of all the maids and helpers till only three of them were left; his butler who had taken care of him since he was young, and the two maids that grew up with him.
What was he even doing?
"Sasuke, will you be alright...? Living in a big house like this, alone?"
All this time, he never understood his mind. His selfish thinking.
"It's none of your business-"
"It's quite dangerous for you to be alone here...!"
Sasuke turned, glaring at the blonde as he did so. Even he was looking down on him?
"Like what I've just said, it's none-"
"Look, I know now you hate the feeling of being pitied and being overly protected, but listen. Driving everyone away does not solve everything. You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth and do you think you can really survive living alone?"
Sasuke's glare softened at that sentence.
Since he was young, he had been brought up by the butler that helped him to take care of everything, from the smallest of things to the biggest. Sasuke probably didn't even know how to wash a shirt. He hated to admit it, but it's the truth.
"Let me help you."
"Trying to repay for what you did?"
"You may say so."
As Sasuke saw him grinning brightly, he just remained silent.
From the moment the baseball Naruto managed to hit injured his left eye, he was really insecure and couldn't think properly. He didn't know why he chose to let Naruto who was most probably only here to apologize for what he did to stay, instead of calling his butler back.
It was weird.
Eight months since the blonde started to come to his house every day after school. The blonde would start from preparing lunch, and then preparing the bath. Clothes would be washed, folded and hung out to dry, and the house would be clear of any speck of dusk.
Naruto had been telling Sasuke almost everything he did in school, as he didn't want Sasuke to feel bored. After all, Sasuke stopped going to school after the incident. He didn't have a proper reason, but the school didn't question it, except for Naruto. Occasionally he would try to persuade Sasuke to go back to school, but his stern eyes made the answer clear.
And after all the chores were done, Naruto would make coffee. Three cups of coffee; Sasuke would always drink them. Naruto always seemed to get the perfect ratio of how much sugar, coffee powder and water should be added.
It tasted just right.
His life became...
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Sasuke sat up, the water splashing out of the bathtub as he did so.
Since when did Naruto become a large part of his life? He almost looked forward to seeing Naruto every day. He could remember how irritable he was when Naruto was going home. He would pick on every single thing, having the blonde do extra work, to stay longer.
Sighing at his stupidity, his reflection in the water caught his attention. The left eye's bandage was long taken away. The scar was a little obvious, but he wasn't covering it with his raven hair anymore. Naruto wouldn't mind, anyway.
He tugged the bathrobe that hung at the side down to him as he thought what Naruto was making for dinner later on after cleaning his room.
...
Did his life just become less lonely...?
And everything started to change after he stepped out of the bathroom.
Everything.
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"She is such a sweet girl, ah. Her smile, I still remember it."
Who?
"I guess I scared her when I smiled at her, she was so shy that she ran away...! Sasuke, isn't that so cute?"
Who was going to take him away? ... Who?
"Hinata, I'm going to remember her." Naruto... smiled brightly.
Why was he going away when Sasuke did nothing to drive him away?
Sasuke looked at how Naruto smiled as he wiped the window clean of dirt. He was smiling. Was he smiling because of that girl, Hinata...?
His pale and cold fingers moved to his waist, pulling off the knot on the cloth belt of the bathrobe. His hands then reached his shoulders, tugging the robe off his body. The robe slid past his body, falling onto the white carpet. The soft sound of it falling made the blonde turn to look at him, shocked.
"S-Sasuke...! What are you doing? People might see you like this!" Naruto immediately pulled the curtains, blocking the sunlight out as he did so.
What was he doing...?
Sasuke took a few steps forward, until he could hear the breathing of the blonde.
"Sasuke...?"
He stared straight into those captivating blue eyes.
"... Kiss me."
"... Sasuke? What are you talking about-"
"Don't make me repeat my words."
Sasuke heaved out a deep breath as he shifted his vision away from the widened blue eyes that were looking at him with confusion. Confusion, right. He didn't blame the blonde for feeling so. Was the blonde intending to run away-
Warm hands cupped his cold cheeks ever so gently. Naruto did not run away. He looked at those blue eyes at that. The confusion Naruto had in his eyes a moment ago was gone. Sasuke closed his eyes then, blocking the sight of those blue eyes out.
What was he, Uchiha Sasuke, seriously doing?
Sasuke felt a pair of warm lips press against his lightly, and he opened his eyes when the warm hands left his face, along with the lips.
It was just a gentle, a very gentle peck on his lips.
Naruto did nothing after that, just looking at him with serious eyes. Sasuke clenched his hands tightly, drawing blood out. What he had just done would only end everything between them, everything that could have been fine between them.
It was gone from the moment when he didn't want the blonde to be taken away.
... He felt something warm. Looking down, he saw that Naruto's hands were pushing his pale fingers away, as if he was telling Sasuke not to hurt himself. Sasuke lifted his head as he felt Naruto's hands slowly hold his very lightly, very gently.
It was then that he wiped out everything he was thinking.
He didn't care for anything else, no more.
He tiptoed, moving his face closer to the blonde's, their breaths intermingling.
He held Naruto's hands tighter as he captured the warm lips lightly, and moved closer as the blonde started to kiss back, deepening the kiss even more.
It wasn't as if he would know what he was doing anyway.
"Sasuke, does it hurt?"
He closed his eyes tightly as he felt the blonde sweep strands of raven hair that fell across his pale face away. The tanned fingers that were soon running through his hair made him feel calmer, made him feel a certain special feeling.
"If it does, then I'm not Sasuke," he muttered softly, and he saw the blonde smile at that.
He was still smiling.
Pulling Naruto closer to his body, he let out a sharp gasp as he felt the blonde start to move inside him. He was actually burning with the heat, the coldness he had felt before was already gone.
He didn't know how it worked, but before he knew it, he was already digging his nails into that tanned back, feeling his skin burn wherever the blonde touched and especially, kissed.
And as Naruto thrusted into him deeper than before, he just called out his name, just once as the blonde kissed his forehead repeatedly, breathing in the scent of his raven hair.
This certain feeling...
Might not be love, but Sasuke knew for sure that it's... security.
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"N-Naruto...!"
He did it.
Sasuke stared at the ceiling, unsure of what he was actually feeling.
Confusion, regret, love, jealousy... He did not know. Everything that had happened just now happened because of how rash he was. He just let everything go out of his control upon hearing the blonde talk about that girl.
Naruto liked that girl.
By doing this, Sasuke, he was... selfish.
Covering his eyes with his hands that had turned cold, he felt frustrated with his actions. He had done a lot of bad things, and this was probably the worst. Wasn't this alike to tightening the rope he had tied on Naruto?
His hand moved to the left side of the bed, and felt nothing.
He sat up immediately at that, and cringed slightly at the pain he felt in his rear end. Biting his bottom lip as he looked at the empty space beside him, his other hand went near his left eye.
He could never see with his left eye, and he got used to it. It could be forever, he didn't mind.
The space beside him.
Perhaps Naruto was not going to stay with him forever, and perhaps he could get used to it. It could be forever, but he certainly minded.
He selfishly hoped that perhaps Naruto would stay, for the sole reason that the owing feeling Naruto had for Sasuke still existed, for making him blind in the left eye.
He clutched his own raven locks tightly as he screwed his eyes shut.
This road, where would it take them to...?
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Sasuke stared at the back of the blonde who was preparing lunch. It almost... felt impossible. After what had happened between them, he really thought the blonde wouldn't return. Naruto, he... just didn't come back to his house for a whole two weeks, and Sasuke really thought he wouldn't be back anymore.
But at the very moment that Naruto came back, everything felt so right.
Sasuke clenched his hands into fists tightly as he looked at the cup of coffee he had just made for himself. It tasted so bland. The coffee Naruto made had a nice aroma, and the taste was just right.
He hadn't drunk the coffee Naruto made for two weeks.
Was it his coffee addiction that was driving him restless...? Or was it for another simple reason; that he actually wanted to see, and hear the blonde again? And as usual, he couldn't make up his mind.
Or to be clear, even he didn't know what was going on in his mind.
"... Sasuke?"
No, did something just click in his mind?
He turned, and saw the blonde staring at him from the doorway.
"Sorry I didn't turn up for so long. I was... confused."
Something that was very simple.
The mop of golden locks, tanned skin and those ocean-coloured eyes that he thought he would never see again.
"I didn't go to school... So I actually need you to tutor me now. And to tell you the truth, I thought I would feel weird for not seeing Hinata for so long, but it's just strange."
He knew it already.
He stood up from his seat, and saw how the blonde scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he continued his sentence.
"Instead of feeling weird for not seeing Hinata for so long, it's actually annoying and disturbing that I didn't see you for two weeks- Oof...!"
Sasuke hugged the blonde tightly, and they were so close that he could hear the blonde's steady heartbeat once again.
Thump, thump, thump.
The blonde said nothing at this. Sasuke could feel warm fingers run through his raven hair as Naruto kissed his forehead lightly like before.
Thump, thump, thump.
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Sasuke missed Naruto.
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Thump, thump, thump.
Sasuke didn't know if they were alright. Or if Naruto was alright staying with him like this.
A few light kisses whenever they wake up in the morning, or when Naruto was going to school became normal. Being hugged occasionally when Naruto found him in deep thought, and passionate kisses that led them to bed became frequent.
Sasuke could make do with this if this was forever.
But what if Naruto chooses to back out in the future...? Just, what if, he is taken away?
Sasuke's grip on the fork he was holding onto tightened at the thought.
These "if" questions were too much, and the chances that Naruto might just leave him left him feeling so insecure once again. It felt as if he was out in a place where there was nothing to shield him.
He lifted the fork, and stared at it with his right eye which could still see.
If... that day ever comes. What would Sasuke do?
The grip tightened as he held it with both of his pale hands.
Would he survive?
The fork neared his right eye dangerously close. It seemed so near that moving it just a bit more would blind his right eye.
...
Blind... his right eye? Wouldn't it mean blinding him completely?
Would Naruto stay if that was so?
"Sasuke? What are you doing...?"
He heaved out a deep breath as he took a glance at Naruto who was staring at him worriedly. If his world turned completely black, till not even a striking yellow colour nor a deep ocean blue colour could be seen, would Naruto stay for his selfishness?
And if there're chances of him staying-
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"S-Sasuke...!"
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It might worth a try.
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The fork was thrown aside, the clattering sound the fork made on the ceramic tiles and the sound of the chair falling to the floor echoed throughout the whole kitchen.
The grip on Sasuke's hands were so tight, and the raven-haired could hear feel the blonde's heart that was pounding against his back so clearly.
It was fast.
Was he panicking?
"Why did you do that?" Naruto pulled Sasuke closer to his body, distancing the raven-haired from the sharp object lying on the floor.
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Why...?
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"Naruto, I-"
Sasuke looked at the fork that was lying on the floor. He was still able to see clearly. Naruto... saved him.
"... Sorry."
"Don't do that again." And this time, his voice turned gentler as he breathed in the scent of the soft raven hair, relieved that Sasuke wasn't injured.
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Sasuke wasn't apologizing for trying to injure himself.
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His selfishness, he just pleaded silently to himself as he closed his eyes, resting his head against the shoulder of the blonde.
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Until Sasuke no longer needed Naruto, until he felt he was no longer at the risk of falling into endless darkness,
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Naruto, stay.
A/N : Thanks for reading this fic (: Written this for my friend (Rasha013)'s birthday who is in love with NaruSasu a lot ((: First time writing M rated fic, hoped it's acceptable ^^;; Reviews are very appreciated and wanted! Rasha-chan, a very sweet and lovely happy birthday to you! :D And special thanks to coocuit (Dior Crystal) who helped to proofread this fic! *hughugs.