Summary: Heidenreich/OC - He was insane. She couldn't differ reality from character. Maybe they could co-exist as Superstar and Manager? Probably not.
Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own the WWE. If I did, John Cena wouldn't be single.
The WWE shows concern for every Superstar, now matter what character they act out on the television screen. To help develop these characters and to help keep the matches safe, a meeting is held every Saturday to discuss upcoming Raw and Smackdown! shows.
Joseph couldn't help but groan a little. The clock read 10:30 in the morning. Heyman was once again late to another important meeting that was to discuss his responsibility as a manager. 4 and a half hours late. If Heyman couldn't be on time for one meeting in his life, why should he manage a mentally unstable superstar? The other participating members in the meeting room looked as if they too thought the same thing too.
A bang could be heard throughout the room, causing all heads to turn and look at whoever disturbed the silence. 'The fat pig finally decided to join us,' Joseph thought to himself as he straightened himself up in his seat. If he ever passed Heyman in a dark alley one night, he was going to kill him. No, was going to murder him in cold blood. It sounded so much better.
"Mr. Heyman, please seat yourself so we may initate this meeting," a middle-aged woman said at the head of the table. Joseph couldn't help but noticed that every woman in the room had bleached hair. And face lifts. Maybe a couple had boob jobs too.
Paul Heyman simply brushed some dust off his business coat before smiling and saying, "Why of course, Mrs. Simmons." Nodding his head, Heyman quickly seated himself at the very end of the table.
"Okay, as we all know, Heidenreich has once again caused further damage to the WWE. We fear that he might be in the wrong hands," Mrs. Simmons stated clearly while she folded her hands above the table, staring at Heyman through her glasses. Joseph couldn't help but smirk at this. Heyman fears the Undertaker when the cameras are on, but he fears a woman's scorn more then anything.
"What do you mean the wrong hands? I have been working my ass off every week to keep him under control! I can't use mind control on him everytime he decides to harm someone!" Paul quickly stated, slamming his hands on the table.
"Yes, but you do encourage it at some points. You didn't even stop him when he was about to hurt another group of fans," a younger woman said to Joseph's left. If memory served him right, she was Ms. Anderson, 29 years old and rumored to be easy. Or was that Mrs. Jackson?
"But he went after me!" Heyman cried, panic showing all over his chubby face.
"Yes, but then he had a mental breakdown right in the ring and attacked himself. Now we have to resort to him staying in a straight jacket everytime he enters the arena," Mr. Hatcher said across the table, next to Mrs. Simmons. He was an old geezer that barked at poor interns every chance given to him.
"At least it wasn't me," was Paul's answer before he decided shrugging his shoulders was appropiate that moment. Joseph wished he could have warned that poor, fat fool.
"Mr. Heyman! This company has been created to give fans entertainment! Not to hospitalize them with an insane man!" Mrs. Simmons snapped at him before she before she began snapping about every single one of Heyman's mistakes made in the previous year. The list was amazingly longer then how many times Joseph wished Heyman dead, and that's really long due to Josephs lack of patience with Heyman's death.
"Okay Heyman, are you going to face your penalty?" Joseph finally spoke up, tapping his pencil against the table. He and every other board member were smirking at Paul like a lion looking down at it's prey. The joy was just seeping throughout the group, even though they didn't show it.
"Maybe, if I am told what my penalty requires," the sweating man couldn't help but squeak out.
"The creative writing team has agreed with our proposal a few hours ago when you were supposed to show up. They had to run to type up all the new matches and gimmicks, so we were able to get you into a new storyline!" Mrs. Jackson threw in as she shuffled through some papers. Once she found what she was searching through, shw slid it down the table to Mrs. Simmons.
"Mr. Paul Heyman, manager of Heidenreich will be hospitalized for the next few months due to a horrible attack from the Undertaker. A new manager will fill in for him while he is in rehabilitation. Hmm, sounds like a winner to me," Mrs. Simmons read aloud as she began chewing on her pencil eraser. "But of course, having Heyman out with a broken neck like we did with Edge would seem so much better. In that time, we could develop the new manager to a point where they won't seem like a stupid substitute for Paulie here!" Everyone nodded in agreement except for Heyman who was turning paler every second.
"Bu-but you can't do that! I'm Paul Heyman! I was the General Manager of Smackdown!" he cried out as his compulsive sweating began to form little rivers down his face.
Writing the members approval of the storyline across the top of the paper, Mrs. Simmons looked back up at Paul. "I'm sorry Paulie, but don't be late next time. I might have you fired then," and with that, the meeting was adjourned.
"Joseph do this, Joseph do that, Joseph go look for a new worker! Blah blah blah!" the 32 year-old worker mumbled to himself. The meeting he attended which decided Paul's fate in the upcoming months in the WWE was yesterday, so today was the day in which he would look into the WWE training services and find some chick.
Of course, finding some chick proved to be harder than he expected.
"And this is Tina, she's one of our top female wrestlers and can really pack a punch!" a trainer told Joseph as the poor worker groaned. Another red-head entered the ring and looked like she had a boob job like Pamela Anderson. She then proceeded to do some wrestling moves on a girl he rejected earlier. Joseph could only think of another Amy Dumas, except this one looked too slutty to be Lita.
"I'm sorry Jones, but I'm not looking for a more.... Manager-ish girl, not a Diva. I still want her to have some wrestling abilities, but Mrs. Simmons told me that she wanted a kind, gentle girl off-camera, not a bitch," Joseph tried to explain as he let his eyes wonder all over large group of girls.
"You calling me a bitch?!" Tina snapped as she made a move to get out of the ring to start strangling Joseph.
"No! I'm not! You're just... Not what the team is looking for at the moment," he told the furious red-head in a weakish voice. Wrestling women really did scare him. He remembered the first time Stephanie McMahon walked into the same room with him. Poor Joseph was so scared he actually wet his pants due to fright.
"Oh, okay!" Tina chirped before getting out of the ring. Jones, the trainer couldn't help but sigh.
"I'm sorry Joey, but I only have a few girls like that. But they start whimpering whenever they get in the ring," Jones explained to Joseph as proceeded to snap his pencil.
"Well then Jones, I'm off to OVW. Hopefully, they got my girl there," he told the trainer as he gathered up all his papers. "Next time, look into all personalities when you're recruiting," Joseph offered up before leaving the room. Jones, not the one to lose quickly pursued him.
"I know you're looking for a quiet girl, but Smackdown! really needs a kick ass girl right now! Please! Tina would make a really good addition to the roster!"
"But she looks like Amy Dumas! We let Christy slide due to the fact the fans wanted her but no more red-heads!" Joseph was now getting pissed. If one more thing ruined day, he'd probably kill that person in cold blood.
And that thing happened with a crash.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I never saw you! Sorry!"
Joseph was about to open his mouth to scream before looking at the person who hit him.
A horribly dressed woman was crawling around, picking up his papers that flew everywhere. She had the appearance of a mother with five children, working three jobs and not getting enough sleep. Her hair was frizzed everywhere even though it was pulled into a horrible bun. The hair color was impossible to tell, but in his opinion it had that light brownish tint. Her raggy jacket seemed to be torned in various places while her sweats looked dusty from falling onto the floor.
"Perry! How many times do I have to tell you, watch where you're going!" Jones snapped at the girl before sighing. He then helped up Joseph and Perry after she gathered up all the papers.
"I'm sorry Mr. Jones! I was in a hurry to get to my session and I zoned out again! It won't happen again, I promise," she said quickly. The words just flew out of her mouth like a race car speeding by. It took Joseph a few seconds to even process what she said. Perry then looked at him, and Joseph couldn't help but shudder as he saw the bags under her eyes. She reminded him of that zombie movie he saw over the summer which completely sucked.
Perry was about the stream out another apology to Joseph before Jones beat her to the punch. "Perry, I want you to class now! And when class is over, go get some shut eye. You look like the walked dead right now," he honestly told her before pushing the girl down the hall.
"Alright Mr. Jones, please don't fail me for thi, oh please don't! And I'm sorry for knocking your friend over too! Really sorry! Please don't give me detention!"
"Get to class, NOW!"
Perry seemed to squeak right then before walking stiffly down the hall. When she turned down the nearest hall, Joseph could tell she started running then.
Turning to Jones, he asked, "Who was that girl?"
"Oh, you mean Perry? Just some girl who can't wrestle worth shit," Jones shrugged casually before walking down the hall towards the parking area. Joseph was the one now following him.
"Then why do you keep her?" he asked before Jones couldn't help but give him quizzical look.
"She's a better actress then a wrestler. Don't get me wrong, she can wrestler, but if you pit her in any match she'd lose instantly," the trainer answered, finding the Perry-centered conversation amusing.
"She's that bad?"
"Let's just say she's better for show than action," Jones said, winking at the younger man. Joseph couldn't help but widen the distance between the two of them, looking a little uncomfortable.
"What would you rate her on a nice scale?"
"Do you mean nice boob legs scale or a nice ass scale, Joey?" the trainer questioned, smirking at the now sweating business man. Joseph was starting to think that the surrounding area was heating up and that Jones's arrow was all that straight.
"I meant literally, is she nice?" he squeaked out, praying to God that the parking lot was nearby.
"Lord yes! She's like a girl scout, except she's 27 years old. And the fact that she's afraid of the dark," Jones mused as he began slowing down his walk so he could think better. He finally stopped while Joseph considered walking ahead. No, more like run ahead as to get away from the trainer but he stopped too. Jones was smirking at him with that 'I know all' look before simply stating, "You want her to manage Heidenreich."
"Maybe, but I doubt she would even agree to stay in the same room as that monster," Joseph simply stated back before turning around to continue his journey to his damn car in that damn parking lot that had to be so far away!
"So, give her a character that wouldn't be afraid of Heidenreich!" Jones answered, confusing the business man.
"What do you mean, give her a character?"
"She may not excel in wrestling, but she has a real talent in acting. Once she's in character, she'll literally become that character," the older man said before shrugging. Joseph went into thought. Maybe he did have some luck. "But there's a slight problem with her acting," Jones quickly added in, making Joseph look up at him.
"And what may this problem be? I'm sure it can be easily fixed with some simple help," he stated. The trainer just continued to have that 'I know all' look, which completely ticked off Joseph.
"Joey, we here at the training facility think that Perry can get a little... Too into character..."
"As in how?" Joseph questioned while Jones went back into the thinking process.
"Perry can't differ her character personalitys' from her own," the trainer tried to explain but the look Joseph gave him said that the business man was confused. "She sometimes can't get out of character!" Joseph still looked confused after this. "Last winter, Perry was given a project to work as a character that was a complete and total bitch. She went as far as too actually punch another girl who called her a slut a couple days after the project was over. Do you understand now?"
The message seeming to get through, Joseph quickly went into processing this information through mumbling it all into incoherent sentences that confused Jones. "Perry is nice.... Perry has split personalities.... Identity crisis probably.... Very nice.... Hehe.... Simmons pleased.... Raise!"
Jones just stood there, looking at his companion before stating, "Wha?"
"Mr. Jones, I think I found the perfect girl. I'll call you in the morning with the details," and with that, Joseph completely ran out of the building in full speed, leaving the confused trainer in the hallway, even more confused than usual.
"So you're telling me that you've found a girl?"
"Yes Mrs. Simmons, and she has the woman's touch completely!"
"How so?"
"You said you wanted Heidenreich to feel kindness, so I found a match to your search!"
"But can she completely the on camera roll of being a sexy woman that can seduce men easily with skanky clothing?"
"Well, sorta Mrs. Simmons. The girl I found is like a saint, except she wrestles... Kinda poorly from what Jones told me... But I also learned that she is an awesome actress that really does get into her roles!"
"Mr. Tanner..."
"Yes Mrs. Simmons?"
"What's the problem with her?"
"Well... Firstly, she looks like she needs something to eat, needs sleep, and needs better clothing. A full make-over!"
"Joseph Tanner, I hope you didn't get me a hobo as a manager with that list! It sounds like you picked some aneorexic girl that works all and night with five minute breaks!"
"Well Mrs. Simmons, the girl is really dedicated to becoming a Diva, the main problem is that she's a wimp in the ring basically."
"Oh... That's it? Well, we'll just have her work with a personal trainer on the road to help with that!"
"Oh, and the girl has a hard time telling the difference between reality and character..."
"Tanner...."
"Yes Mrs. Simmons?"
"You got me some aneorexic girl that's insane?"
"No ma'am! It's just... She can make a character come right to life! She'll just need some time to get out of character..."
"Well then... We'll just see how this progresses in the company."
"So she's hired?"
"Only for the time being. Just for a week or two, just to see if she can work with Heidenreich and to see this.... Character problem in the works."
"Okay ma'am! I'll call Jones and tell him to gather all the information together on this girl. Do you want me to send it to you?"
"Duh! Now if you'll excuse me, I must go and work on this girl's new character for the show. Good day."
"G'bye Mrs. Simmons!"
Joseph Tanner couldn't help but grin as he hung up his cellphone. Despite the fact Mr. Jones completely scared him shitless with the whole intimidating gay look, today was a good day for him. He then proceeded to collaspe onto the motel bed, which broke under the sudden impact of weight and cause Joseph to fall to the dirty carpet floor.
"Damn Mrs. Simmons and her cheap ass," he muttered. Well, almost everything was a good day for him.
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