A/N: Due to the severe lack of Jolex this season (which pisses me off to no end but now is not the time for a tirade against Shonda Rhimes) I haven't posted nearly as much Jolex as I used to but listening to Taylor Swift's 1989 again and again has done wonders for my fanfic writing muse. I know everyone is upset that Jo hasn't said "I love you" to Alex on the show yet and this song got me thinking about how Jo constantly proves that she loves Alex even though she hasn't said it. And voila – this one-shot was born. Much thanks to Taylor Swift's "You Are In Love" which served as this fic's inspiration. I also took the title from that song and the lyrics you see throughout this story are from there.
Disclaimer: Sadly Shonda Rhimes owns Alex and Jo – if I could I would hold them hostage until she learns how to treat them better. Also the song is once again thanks to Miss Taylor Alison Swift.
One look, dark room
Meant just for you
Time moved too fast
You played it back
People always say that there are important moments in their lives that they'll never forget. Not because they were so horrible but because they were so great. For the longest time Jo had no idea what that felt like.
Then she met Alex Karev.
Before Alex she never thought she could find someone like him. Everything she'd been through had made her begin to doubt the kindness of the human race. She hadn't even known that people like Alex existed. And at first she'd chalked him up to be another random player, some guy who was just in it for the chase and who would leave her alone when she told him she wasn't interested in being a one-night-stand.
Only it wasn't the chase that he wanted. It was her.
The night of the super storm was one of those moments for her. Jo can remember exactly how she felt in that moment as they stood together in the darkened closet. She remembers the silence hanging in the air, how absolutely terrified Alex seemed as he braced himself before saying those three little words: "I love you."
She had spent so long thinking that no one could ever love her, so when he said that she had smiled like she hadn't in – well, forever really. He always did that to her – made her smile like she never thought she could. With him, her past was irrelevant. She didn't have to think about the bad times when she had so many good memories she could think of instead.
That one moment in that closet on that night became one of the things she would always look back on fondly for years and years to come. It was her happy place. It was the moment when her life officially changed.
Small talk, he drives
Coffee at midnight
"Do you want to grab coffee?"
Jo pulls her iPhone away from her ear to make sure she has the time correctly before she responds. "Alex, it's two am."
"Yes, thank you for confirming that you can read a clock princess." Her boyfriend sarcastically replies, earning an eye roll from Jo as she walks through the lobby of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. "I know you just got off a shift and I stayed late working on a case even though I have surgery in a couple hours – we're on a surgeon's schedule. We drink coffee at two am, babe."
"Fine," Jo responds. "Where should I meet you?" She pushes open the double doors and as soon as she exists her question answers itself, as she finds Alex sitting down on one of the benches. She promptly hangs up the call and puts her phone in her back pocket, strolling over to him with her fingers thread through the belt loops of her jeans. "Hey."
Alex looks up and smirks ever so slightly. "Hey. You want to grab coffee? I was supposed to go with my girlfriend but she just hung up on me. I think I'm going to have to break up with her."
He rises from his seat and she whacks him in the chest – he feigns a wince even though it didn't hurt. "Wow, you wimp." Jo says. "I barely touched you."
Alex throws an arm around her shoulder and they walk off towards his car, their steps in sync. "Be nicer to the person who is supporting your caffeine habit by taking you to the twenty-four hour coffee shop even though if he had half a brain he'd be napping right now."
"Eh, who cares?" Jo responds playfully. "I'm just in it for the free lattes."
"So you're prostituting yourself out for lattes? Classy." He teases as he holds open the passenger side door for her.
She slides in and buckles her seatbelt while he walks around to the other side of the car and gets into the driver's seat. "How far do you exactly think you're going to get tonight? Because my going rate for sex is a lot more than a cup of coffee."
"Funny."
Jo smirks. "I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitresses."
Alex turns to look at her, a slight smile on his face. "And every week after that I hope."
She rolls her eyes but leans over to plant a kiss on his cheek. "It's too early to get all sappy. Now drive – I need my coffee."
Morning, his place
Burnt toast, Sunday
You keep his shirt
He keeps his word
"Is that my shirt?"
Jo walks down the stairs towards the kitchen where Alex is waiting. This morning her hair is pulled back and she's wear nothing but an oversized T-shirt and last night's panties she'd picked up off the floor. "Yup," She says, wrapping her arms around Alex's waist from behind. "And you're not getting it back. It's mine now."
He picks her up and sets her down on the counter, causing her to laugh. Alex presses a series of kisses to her exposed neck and she turns away, squirming under his touch. "That's okay. You look better in it than I do anyway."
He pulls away and brandishes a cup of orange juice, which she smiles and thanks him for. "So," She says after she's taken a sip and he's turned towards the coffee pot. "I promised Steph I'd meet with her this afternoon for some lunch thing, but hopefully she doesn't keep me for more than a couple hours."
"That's fine." Alex replies. "Mer wants to vent to me about something tonight anyway. She probably will keep me for more than a couple hours." Jo smirks into her orange juice. "But when we're done I'm thinking you, me, a six pack and that couch?"
He walks over and grabs her by the end of his – now her – shirt, pulling her in for a quick kiss, which turns into two and then three. "Sounds like a date then." Jo agrees. She wrinkles up her nose, smelling something funny. "Umm, I think breakfast is burning."
Alex pulls away quickly and curses loudly, while Jo's laughter rings throughout the kitchen. She loves these mornings.
You kissed on sidewalks
You fight and you talk
He's calling after her as she storms off, but Jo's so mad she can barely see straight. She thought they'd gotten past this point but apparently not. "I can't believe you." Jo yells back at him. She's tempted to keep running but when she reaches the end of the walkway she stops. Her breathing's become labored because she stomped here all the way from the peds ward and her face feels hot from anger.
"Was what I did really that bad?" She hears Alex ask and Jo turns around to face him as he approaches, fury etched on her face.
"You freaking patronized me," Jo snaps. "In front of a patient and our colleague!"
"I didn't patronize you," Alex retorts. "And it was just Robbins – if anyone embarrassed anyone you embarrassed me by storming out like that."
Jo scoffs at his audacity. "You talked to me like I was an idiot back there Alex. How was I supposed to react? Was I supposed to just stand there and take it because you're the great and mighty attending and I'm just the dumb resident who can't tell her right from her left?"
Even though it's dark outside she can tell Alex is rolling his eyes. "I never said you were stupid, Jo."
"But you made me look it!"
A beat follows and he reaches out to touch her hand. Her first instinct is to pull away, but his touch is gentle and almost soothing even though he's the one who got her riled up in the first place. "I know you're not stupid and I never meant to make you look or feel stupid. You are the furthest thing from it – you're one of the smartest people I know. Actually no – you are the smartest."
Jo looks up at him, her scowl turning to a frown. "For a resident, right?"
Alex shakes his head. "No – for anyone, resident or fellow or attending or anything in between. Sometimes I almost forget that you're a resident because you're so freaking brilliant. I was just being hard on you back there so you don't make the same mistake again, alright?"
She averts her gaze and nods. "Okay. I guess I overreacted. I just…I don't know. I guess I get worried that someday you're going to realize that you can do better, find some pretty attending who is smarter and better than I am."
Alex tilts Jo's chin upwards and presses a kiss to her lips. "Now you really are being stupid. There's no one better for me than you."
One night he wakes, strange look on his face
Pauses, then says, you're my best friend
And you knew what it was, he is in love
She wakes up in the middle of the night in the on-call room to find him looking at her. They'd gone there to sleep after surgery a couple of hours ago (really, they were actually just sleeping for once) but something tells Jo Alex hasn't been doing much of it. "What's wrong?" She asks drowsily. In the dark she can make out a pensive look on his face as he toys with one of her dark locks and something about it makes her nervous.
"Nothing's wrong," Alex replies, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger. "I was just thinking."
Jo rolls over and props her head up with her elbow, meeting his thoughtful expression. "What about?"
"You." He responds vaguely. "Me. Us." She raises an eyebrow, wordlessly telling him to continue. "You know I'd be lost without you, right?"
"Yeah," Jo teases. "What would you do without me? You'd still have no furniture in your house and nothing but old beer in your fridge and all the female interns would still hate your guts – well, they still do but for different reasons."
"Shut up," Alex says. "I was being serious." He pauses for a moment, thinking about what he wants to say. "I honestly don't know what I did before I met you. My life's really so much better with you in it. You're so much more than just my girlfriend – you're my best friend. So…thanks for that I guess."
She smiles, touched by his heartfelt words, and leans over to kiss him sleepily. She can't find the words to properly reciprocate the sentiment – she's too tired and mushy speeches have never been her strong suit anyway. She hopes the smile she gives him is enough to tell him she feels the same. So she simply rolls over again and asks: "Spoon me?"
He smiles and pulls her into him, an arm wrapped around her stomach. "Anything for you, princess."
You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars
And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words
It creeps up on her slowly, without warning.
One night they're just sitting on his couch, tipsy with a half-empty six pack between them and a pizza box on the floor. He says something that makes her laugh and now he's raising a beer bottle to his lips when the words come flying out of her mouth: "God, I love you."
Suddenly she freezes, realizing the impact of what she has just uttered. He swallows before placing his beer down on the table and their eyes connect. Jo wonders what he's going to say, but then Alex surprises her – in response she only receives a proud grin. "I know."
Jo laughs and leans back against the pillows, her shock at her own words turning to surprise towards his response. "That's it?" She asks. "I tell you I love you for the first time and all you say is 'I know'? Man, I hoped you were going to cry…"
He chuckles under his breath. "This isn't some life-changing declaration, Jo. I already knew you did – you already knew you did. You've proven it on many occasions. What's that stuff they say? Actions speak louder?"
She takes another sip of her beer and ponders this. She's just never really thought about it before – the moments she replays in her head, the midnight coffee runs, the stolen T-shirts, the stupid squabbles and insecurities, the late night conversations. She's never been like that before with anyone, but she is with Alex. Because their relationship is like no other relationship she's had before.
This time she actually knows what it feels like to love and be loved in return. Every moment with him is a good one and that's something she never wants to lose.
"You're right," She says, a smirk on her face. "I guess I should stop being so nice to you."
Alex playfully bumps her knee. "Right back at you. We're getting too soft."
"Agreed," She says and they clink their bottles together before settling into a peaceful silence.
"Hey Jo?" He pipes up a moment later.
"Yeah?"
"I love you too."
You can hear it in the silence, silence
You can feel it on the way home, way home
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You're in love, true love
You're in love