Disclaimer: I do not own Saints Row IV or anything to do with it. I do however have creative use of my own character and the idea of my own back story. I hope this appeases you and that you will like what I write, if not, well fuck off! :p Kidding, just leave if you don't like it, otherwise it ruins it for others.

Recap: Okay, so let me break it down for you. My name is Raven, I'm about 5' 7". My hair is long and pulled into a bun which is held in place by 2 metal chopsticks which are a teal color, it also lets some of my bangs hang down. My stylist calls it a Kabuki hairstyle, my hair is kind of a dark red in color. I have blue eyes, and a chip on my shoulder for the government, alongside mild irritation because anything fun I used to do, I no longer can since becoming President. Sexuality wise I'm at least Bi-Curious, although I know I have an attraction to the female form. Now you may be wondering if I am a female, just to be sure, and yes I am. Now why I told you this has to do with letting you get a general idea of who I am while I tell my story without me having to tell you what I look like every time. As a nice little round off so you get my body type I'm an even balance aside from one percentage of muscular and skinny.

Previously you were aware of my cabinet being abducted by aliens, and me getting my ass kicked as well. Now I've woken up in a 50's version of Steelport with a poodle-skirt on and some annoying ass music playing in the background as if this was some god awful 50's sitcom, staged applause, laughter, and language censorship included. Now, lets continue, I remember I had just woken up to all this.

-Yawns- "Goodness me, What a dream." I said as I got up from my lounge chair and started to walk joyously to the stairs and down to the kitchen. 'What the fuck? I did not just say that shit, and how the fuck is this considered walking? I am swinging my arms back and forth and my legs look like I'm marching, and is that a poodle skirt! Oh, hell no! Just where the fuck am I?' "Gosh, what a glorious day!" Cue random laughing in background. 'Seriously...I can't wait until I get control of my body again.'

I walk over to the stairs and slide down the railing prompting a title screen to show up. Leave it to the Saints! Being the name of this apparent show I'm in. In the background you also here a voice saying that it was brought to you by "Friendly Fryer" the only choice in home cookware. 'Ugh. Please put me out of my misery soon!' "Mmmh. Something sure smells tasty." I say as I continue walking to the kitchen where my...wife? Is preparing breakfast.

As I walk into the kitchen the woman at the stove, who I am to presume is my wife in the odd show, turns towards me. "Morning, Dear! I made your favorite breakfast." She says in an oddly chipper tone of voice while giving me a wink. I sit down at the table with a stack of pancakes in front of me and she turns back to the stove, but continued speaking. While she does this, I begin eating. "Oh Mr. King from across the street is going out of town for a few weeks. He was wondering if you could check his mail for him. Oh, and your friend Pierce called. I'm sure he has some crazy new get-rich scheme. Oh, that Pierce. Such a card. And someone named Dex stopped by earlier. I didn't recognize him so I just sent him away." I had stopped eating now, which was good because the pancakes kept refilling themselves and I could swear they would go on forever. 'Dear gods, I was wondering if she'd ever shut up.'

I got up from the table and headed into the living room and she began talking yet again. "I think I heard Timmy deliver the paper earlier. Could you fetch it, dear?" 'Yes, if only to get you to shut up.' I thought to myself, at least my thoughts were my own, despite having no control of my actions thus far. "Sure thing!" I replied back as I headed to the front door and outside. A man passing by on the sidewalk noticed by and waved saying "Hi-diddily-I, neighbor." I seemed to have ignored him as I didn't say anything, although he didn't seem to mind as he kept walking as If nothing happened. I walked to the end of the sidewalk and proceeded to bend down reaching for the paper. "I wonder what's new in the world today." Although for some reason reaching the paper seemed to be harder than normal. Once I had a hold of it though I looked it over as If I was attempting to see what was wrong. Before I could get to into it though, a cop from across the street waved and called me out. "You ready to meet the fine people of Steelport?" He asked me. 'No, not particularly. As I'm beginning to think that this is some fucked up virtual reality and I'm simply a pawn in a bigger game. Makes me wish Kinzie were here to get me out.'

Sadly I had no way of voicing my internal comment, so the cop said. "Well, get in the car." I replied in turn. "Wait, don't I usually drive?" The cop responded with, "It's your world. Go ahead!" Having no other choice, I walked to the car and got in. The cop got in the passenger seat, While I seemed to have some control while driving, there was an invisible barrier making it so I could only go one way. It was highly frustrating, not that anyone noticed.

"Boy they sure are anxious to meet you." The cop said while I drove.

"They?" I seemed to be regaining a little bit of control over my person and what I said, thank heavens for small favors. 'About damn time!'

"Hehe. Why you sure do have a queer sense of humor." He chuckled, making me frown in thought.

"Is it just me, or does everything look kind of weird?" Okay, maybe not full control as I had already figured that out, but it was getting there.

"Now, what's that you say.." The cop asked.

"Just a nagging feeling, like this is all..." The cop cut me off.

"Can't wait to get out to the lake this weekend. I hear the fish are really bitin'." He sounded excited, but I was skeptical.

"The fish are...huh? What are you talking about?" I asked. 'Ah, an attempt to drag my consciousness further into the dark making me nothing more than a puppet. Too bad I'm smarter than that, my mind is my own, no one uses it against me. Nice try though, Zimmy.'

"Don't you worry now. We're almost there." The cop replied.

I continued driving, but the car kept hitting barriers. Finally I actually said something pertaining to it. "Wait, there is definitely something wrong with this car."

The cop just disregarded it and said, "Oop, careful now."

It only took a short while more and then we were parked outside of a diner called "Gingers Dive". The cop seemed eager to get me inside to talk to the people, I however wished I could just take his gun and run away. However, he encouraged me to glad-hand a bit, which turned out to mean waving a lot at random people acting as if I was happy to see them. When I walked inside the diner a man walked up to me eager to shake my hand and started talking.

"Oh my gosh! It's the President." He said while shaking my hand up and down.

"Hi, how are...What the ****" I said when his image began to go fuzzy, like we were getting a bad signal or something. The only good thing I could say was that I finally had control of my body again.

"We don't use that kind of language here in Steelport." The cop said as he and the other patrons of the diner all got up and began to form a crowd looking ready to rush me, so I did the logical thing and turned tail and ran out of the diner shutting the door behind me. This turned out to be the smart thing to do since everyone started banging on the door wanting to be let out as if to maul me.

"What kind if **** are you ******* trying to pull?" I said as I looked around outside at the random angry pedestrians and ran to the car and dove in. Some senior citizens were pounding on it, but I put the petal to the metal after starting it up and drove off. "I want to get the **** away from here." I said in confusion and slight panic. 'Man I wish Kinzie were here. I can't do shit without access to a computer, not that anyone knows I'm smarter than I let them think.'

I continued driving when a voice came from thin air. "Hello. Hello?" 'Holy shit! Wish and you shall receive!' I thought with glee.

"Kinzie? What is this? Kinzie, where are you?" I still had to play dumb, for now at least.

"FINALLY!" Kinzie sounded so excited to be able to reach me. I didn't realize she missed me so much. "Listen to me. No time to explain, but you have to break free."

"Break free from what, Kinzie?" 'This simulation if I had to hazard a guess. This is sad having to hide a part of who I am. In time though I'll let them know the truth.'

"The place you're in isn't real. Whatever it's having you do, you need to stop." She said matter of factly.

"What. I'm just driving." I continued acting confused.

"Okay good. There's a park nearby, head there and give me a sec..." She said before signing off I suppose. 'Okay, sound simple enough. I'm guessing we need to break the simulation so she's going to work on helping me cause mass chaos so I can break free.'

I continued in the car towards the park. Pedestrians were running all over the place like tiny chickens with their heads cut off. It would be more humorous if I wasn't stuck here at the moment. As I approached the park I got a small sense of foreboding.

"Brace yourself." Kinzie said out of no where.

"Brace for wha...Jesus...H." I said as the car I was driving disappeared and flung me forward and onto my face in the middle of the road. I carefully got up and brushed myself off as Kinzie began talking again.

"I need some time before I can get you out. It would be really helpful if you could just, y'know, just be you." She said, she sounded stressed. Not good for one of my hackers, makes me worried.

"Be me?" I asked in order to clarify if she was asking me to cause mass pandemonium or not.

"This simulation is all about normalcy. Pleasantry. Order. All the things you hate. Go forth. Unleash hell." Kinzie said. To be fair that's not entirely true, I do like those things, but in moderation. I just prefer things that are slightly chaotic, it's more fun that way.

It turned out to be quite ironic that there were two cop cars parked behind me when I turned around and had cops firing at me. Plenty of practice as leader of the Saints meant that I was shooting them in the head a lot. Once I was done with that set though, then another pair showed up to my right which I also began taking out. The progress with which I was making, made Kinzie pop back in to say a few more words.

"Keep it up, the simulation is resisting, but just keep going." I nodded, it's not like that would be very hard to do. This was the most fun I'd had since before becoming President. As I kept downing the cops, I noticed that it just wasn't causing enough chaos. Apparently the cyber angel Kinzie agreed. "You need to do more! Bigger. Hold on I'm sending you something." This instantly peaked my interest. Knowing Kinzie, I would imagine it to be some sort of Grenade Launcher or Rocket Launcher, wider range of destruction with larger amount of damage dealt.

I wondered into the park shooting everyone in site, as I got closer to the middle though I got this sudden urge to jump for joy. Which would be explained by Kinzie telling me to find the Cat fountain, which was a Professor Kenki statue, he was holding a rocket launcher. I did in fact jump for joy when I saw that, I felt like a little kid on Christmas. I holstered the pistol in the waistband of my skirt as I picked up the rocket launcher.

"Gosh, this is swell." 'Ugh! I thought I had stopped doing that! Fine, time to blow some shit up...and look here comes my next victim.' I thought to myself as another cop car came speeding at me. I hefted the launcher up onto my shoulder, took aim, and fired. The car and its inhabitants were blown to bits, I smirked at the destruction. I went around the park firing at the cops that tried to stop me as well as all of the parked cars and other folks who got in my way.

"You're doing great, the simulation is...oh no. Wait a minute." Kinzie said, her tone of voice did not sound like it held good news.

"Wait, wait, wait...what's going on Kinzie?" I asked as I continued blowing stuff up. All of a sudden after a few more large explosions, the cop from the diner dropped in from the air in a super hero pose and sounded like a cowboy.

"Yeeeeeeeeehaaaawwww." He said as he charged at me, I fired to keep him at a distance. "Couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? You had to push, and push, and push. I hope you've enjoyed your last moments." I kept firing at him every time he turned or crouched to take off in a jump, he died fairly quickly. Once that was done, I walked over to him and began kicking him in the stomach for added stress relief.

Zimmy's voice came over the airways next. "I'm impressed."

I looked around after having dropped the launcher. "Where the hell are...Fuck me." I said as I looked up at the sky to see several pink dots alined to make the vague impression of Zimmy's face.

"I should have realized a prison of peace would never contain a sociopath like yourself." He murmured.

"I'm more of a puckish rogue." I said and shrugged.

"A rose by any other name." he uttered. 'Seriously? Is he flirting with me or something?'

"Are you trying to kill me, or sleep with me?" My sentiments exactly. Finally, I speak whats on my mind.

"Charming."

"See there you go with those mixed signals again." I chuckled.

"Then allow me to be perfectly clear." He said. "I am the architect of your reality. I build what I want, I destroy what I want, and your bravado means. Nothing." he manifested himself in front of me and waved his hand sending the gun in my hands sailing out of them and across the grass. He continued walking towards me in a threatening manner. "Fighting back it pointless, my friend." I tried to run away. "There's no where to run." He taunted as he followed after me at a leisurely pace.

He teleported in front of me and the surroundings turned black. "You belong to me." I turned around to run again and he teleported in front me me again lifting me up by my neck making me wince at a memory this reminded me of. "Now, onto more pleasant things. I'm going to place you in your new home. Try to run again, and I'll destroy your pitiful planet. TTFN." he said as he dropped me through a hole into another simulation.

'Oh joy. My life just fucking hates me.' I thought as I fell.