A/N: I can't believe I'm posting a new oneshot in such a short period of time. I guess not waking up until 9:00 PM on a Saturday and then being awake until 9:46 AM on Sunday (well, I'll probably be up longer than this actually, but you catch my drift) will do that to you. Anyways, this one is really weird. It was inspired by bloochikin's picture "So Adorable" on DeviantArt. I guess it's technically a cross-over, but the mention of the series it crosses over with is so brief that I don't really think it's worth putting in the cross-over category. If you don't know the series it crosses over with by the time you're done reading this – for shame. Go watch BBC America. Or BBC, if you're lucky enough to live in that part of the world. Damn British people and their sexy accents. Anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold, or any of the other series this mentions.
All In Due Time
It was quite possibly the weirdest day of my life, I'll give you that. It started out normal enough though. I went to school, lunchbox full of saltine crackers and shaving cream, as usual. I got on the bus, shoved some kids out of my way and sat next to Phoebe. I went to class, shot spitballs at Football head (32 to be exact), and burst into a long monologue during recess (after which I hit Brainy, of course).
No, most of my day was perfectly normal. It was the long walk home that got immensely weird.
It started when I decided that I didn't want to see my parents right away, and took a detour through the city park. I went over to that tree – you know the one – the one way in the back of the park that I had climbed all the way up carved Arnold and my names in a few months back? Anyways, I went over there and sat at the base of it, then pulled my locket out of my dress.
"Oh Arnold," I said to it, "why must I hide my heart from you so? Am I cursed to forever worship you in secret? Never daring to hold your football-headed face in my hands and pronounce to you my love? Someday, I swear the truth will come out my love. Someday I will stand on a rooftop and proclaim it before all the world!" I was getting pretty invigorated at this point – I stood up in mock proclamation, hidden by the brush and trees in my small corner of the park, "I love Arnold Shortman!"
"I'm gonna hold you to that," said a deep voice from behind me.
Logically, I flipped out. Actually, I shrieked and fell flat on my butt when I turned around, to be more precise. And there before me... You'll never believe it. I'm still not sure that I believe it. But right before my eyes was – I kid you not – the spitting image of my love, ten years older. But of course, it couldn't be him. That was simply impossible. Time travel doesn't exist.
"Who the heck are you?" I snapped, picking myself up off the ground.
"What, don't recognize me?" he teased.
"Listen Bucko, I don't know who you think you are," I said, "but you picked the wrong girl to mess with."
"Actually," he mused with a mischievous smile, "I'm fairly certain that you're exactly the little girl I was looking for." This only irked me further of course. I am not, nor have I ever been, little.
"Are you related to Arnold or something?" I couldn't help but ask. "Cause if you are, you had better not tell him a word you heard, alright? Or else I might have to introduce you to some friends of mine – Old Betsy and the Five Avengers." You won't believe what the moron did next. He outright laughed at me!
"Oh, I'm fairly certain I already know them quite well," he smiled. I was just confused at this point. I didn't even know what to say. I think he understood that, or maybe he had just had enough of teasing me, because he kneeled down to my level and said, "but I guess you could say we're related."
Well, now I was just plain curious. "Yeah," I asked, "how? I thought his only living relatives were his grandparents and that weird country cousin of his."
"Actually, that's not exactly true. But not even he knows that yet. He'll find that out when you go to San Lorenzo in a few months. He finds a lot of things out then, actually."
This guy was insane. In a few months? Like he could see the future or something? And I thought my relatives were bad. Poor Arnold had to deal with his cousin Arnie and this complete nut-job.
"You're nuts."
"I'm from the future, actually."
I gave him a blank stare. "So like I said, you're nuts."
"If I wasn't from the future, then how else would I know what you told me on the roof of FTi in March?"
I gulped. This guy couldn't know that. There were only two people in the entire world who knew that – me and Arnold. Wait a minute, he said me!
"You're Arnold!" I cried.
"In the flesh," he agreed, standing back up to his full height.
"This is ridiculous," I brought my hands to my head, trying to steady myself, "I must be hallucinating. I knew I shouldn't have swapped my shaving cream for Harold's mystery meat."
Arnold laughed at that. Not the laugh he still has now, but a full belly laugh, straight from the gut. "Yeah, that stuff was always pretty disgusting."
There was just so much going through my mind at this moment. I looked up at his face in awe and wonder."How can you even be real?" I asked.
"Well," he pondered, bring his hand up to his chin in thought, "let's just say there are a lot of things about the universe that neither of us know yet. I'm only just starting to figure them out."
"Like time travel?" I asked. Pretty dumb question, I know, but give me a break. You'd be pretty stupefied too if your one true love came from the future to scare the bejeezus out of you. He didn't seem to mind though.
"Like time travel," he confirmed.
"So... why are you here?" I asked. Come on, it was a logical question.
"Actually, you are. This meeting had to happen apparently. Something about fluctuations and wibbly-wobbly time masses."
"O-kaaaaay. Then, what are you supposed to be telling me?"
He shrugged. "Don't know. Things get better, I guess? Never eat raspberries?"
I frowned. "Come on, if you're from the future, can't you tell me anything useful?"
It was his turn to frown. "Well, I'm not supposed to actually say anything about that. But I am allowed to do this." He smiled broadly then, and can you guess what happened next? No? He stepped forward, wrapped me in a big hug, and kissed my forehead! That's right, time-traveling-future-version of Arnold kissed me! Helga Geraldine Pataki! Right smack in the middle of my forehead! I didn't care if I was going crazy or not, I was ready to melt into a puddle of lovesick goop right on the spot.
He knelt down to my height again, keeping his hand on my right shoulder. "I still like the bow, by the way. I gotta be honest, I miss it sometimes."
"Miss it?" I tilted my head in confusion.
"Ah, you'll find out eventually." That's when he stood up and turned to leave without saying another word. I couldn't just let him go! I had so many questions to ask.
"Wait!" I called, reaching out a hand to stop him.
"Yeah?" he asked turning around. Suddenly my mind froze. All the questions I had seem to vanish at the coy look on his face. Damn his charming ways. Anyways, I blurted out the first thing I could think of.
"Do you have a flux capacitor?"
He laughed again. This time I wasn't particularly amused, no matter how musical the sound was to me ears.
"Actually, the doctor brought me here."
"The doctor? Doctor who?"
His eyes sparkled. "Exactly."
And that was the last I ever saw of time-traveling Arnold. He turned around and walked away, and I didn't have the heart to give chase. I guess I was still a little frazzled. I was feeling rather faint anyways. But you know something? Today Mr. Simmons announced that our class is going on a field trip to San Lorenzo. Arnold won an essay contest, and now he's taking the whole class there. I don't really know what to think, but suddenly my hallucination seems so much more plausible. At any rate, I think I'm gonna be paying real close attention to everything Arnold does in that jungle. If what time-traveling Arnold said about living relatives was right, and if Arnold's parents disappeared where I think they did... let's just say Arnold is going to need a lot of help on this adventure. He'll need someone watching his back. Who else to do it but me?
Arnold my love, whatever revelations await you I promise I'll be by your side.