Warnings: blood, violence, death, language, angst; four merged drabble-ish pieces written over a six month time span that just seemed to go together and were probably inspired by too much T.S. Eliot. Of course, the title reference is to Kakashi's name meaning "scarecrow" and a line from "The Hollow Men." The Yondaime/Kakashi here is unrealized, deferred for duty, or simply too late.
(I knew this would be horrible to format, I just didn't realize how much. If there are problems, my apologies.)
The Stuffed Man
Four Short Pieces of Undetermined Relation
by vernajast
unrequited yondaime x kakashi
+ refs to obito and rin
(Remember us—if at all—not as lost / Violent souls, but only / As the hollow men / The stuffed men.
from The Hollow Men (I) by T.S. Eliot)
black
broken broken broken broken cracked shattered
sensei SENSEI!
your blood on my hands won't wash away though i've tried and tried
and it's stained red like the spot on the floor on my mind on my uniform
i can't wear the uniform any longer it will always be stained
but black anbu black doesn't show blood spit cum
the armor drinks in bleach vodka no difference
and I didn't know until much much later too late that the thick heavy sick feeling was love
blood
Blood on the precious books and the ancient texts he had been studying for days.
None of it matters in the wake of broken glass and Kakashi flinging his body, bloody and torn, through the window.
"Hokage...sama..." His last words, not even the name most sought after. Only a shinobi doing his duty, after all, as a scroll rolls out of his hands.
He had wanted to deliver it in person. Minato knows it like he knows what comes next.
There is blood on the carpet. The red carpet...red so it won't stain.
And there is blood on Minato's hands and he leaves it there because, without Kakashi...without Kakashi, he can't...
Hokage...sama...
Without Kakashi...
There is blood on the floor and his knees and Minato crawls across the carpet to lie in the spot, staring up at the ceiling, at the crack that might resemble a bird at the right angle-the last sight before Kakashi's eyes closed-he suddenly gets the urge to empty out the village coops and strangle each of the doves and pigeons and ravens. Omens, messengers, and fuck he should have seen it coming.
None of it matters because without Kakashi, he can't...
He just can't.
The quiet of the room is drowned out by the rush of blood in his ears.
blue
Kakashi is dying, but he doesn't find that he cares. Not really. Perhaps in the sense that his service to Konoha is ending, but he's cleared the name Hatake and outlived his team.
He doesn't care.
What Kakashi does care about...what he fears, as the light dims around him-both natural and blood red-is that he can't remember the scent of Rin's perfume, the sound of Obito's laughter, or his sensei's face...only blue eyes haunt his dying vision, and he isn't even sure if they're his or Naruto's. They are all he can see as it all fades away.
bang
It started with a kiss, a few sparse words, and a soft smile that carried far too much understanding to be true and real.
And...then it was over.
It ended with his back turned toward you and getting smaller and farther away, a sigh, nothing more. And then quieter still when the beast and its red light faded, and the sky bled to black like Obito's eye that didn't work anymore.
The parts in between-the extravagant overuse of chakra, the close calls, the thrill of fighting together one last time-they meant nothing.
Like the sobs you try so desperately not to let them hear.
There is no finale.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
from The Hollow Men (V) by T.S. Eliot
A/N: In the second piece, entitled 'blood,' Minato did not kill himself. The imagery was there on purpose, but since it's a short piece, I just want to clarify. For the record, I think anyone who would make it to adulthood in their world has a reduced chance of suicide. Kakashi's father was an exception not a rule in my writing. Thanks for reading.