"...And finally, students, I would like to draw your attention to a few changes on the staff list. Professor Granger-Weasley is with us for another year as Care and Keeping of Magical Creatures teacher, and she will also be taking over Muggle Studies; regretfully, Professor Schmidt has met with an untimely end while researching endangered non-magical creatures. Hogwarts offers his condolences to his family and friends. In light of this last-minute switch you may expect some changes to your syllabus; Professor Granger-Weasley has generously agreed to keep her office open for late hours this week to accomodate those students wishing to ask questions.
"Professor Flitwick has gone off on another visit to his goblin relatives, so Professor Longbottom, our Herbology specialist, will also be teaching the lower-level Charms classes. The upper-level students will be taking classes by Floo with one of the Beaubaxtons professors as part of an exchange program. Those students are asked to double-check their schedules for travel times, as tardy departures will not be permitted by the Hogwarts Floo system; they are also reminded that unconsienceable behavior is frowned upon by the faculties of both Hogwarts and Beaubaxtons, and that any complaints from the girls at Beaubaxtons regarding ungentlemanly behavior may be grounds to revoke your Floo privileges. Those seventh-year students who are rejected from the exchange program will not be allowed to sit their Charms NEWT.
"Finally, to facilitate the exchange program on our end, we are hosting several Durmstrang students wishing to study advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts. We welcome back the Professors Potter, who will be sharing the duties for this class. Students are reminded that accosting Professor Harry Potter outside of class to ask for autographs or photographs is frowned upon by the school, and may result in detention. They are also advised not to taunt Professor Ginevra Weasley-Potter about the incident with the boggart last year. Though many of you found it entertaining, it was a traumatic experience for her and she will not be held responsible for the injuries of students who insist on bringing it up.
"On that note, I wish you all a very good year at Hogwarts, whether it be your first or your last."
The students applauded - some a little uncertainly - as they eyed the Head Table and the war heroes that sat at it. Professor Hermione Granger-Weasley leaned over to Professor Nevile Longbottom, who wound up being seated next to her. "I really wonder, sometimes, what Minerva is thinking. Cutting out two teachers? It's unheard-of!"
"Not to mention the fact that there are still a number of Dark sympathizers at Durmstrang who would love to take a crack at Harry," the normally easygoing Herbology professor muttered back. "He's not invincible, no matter what people think. The fact that he insists on teaching the students useful and practical spells is all fine and good, but it puts him at something of a risk."
"At least he's only teaching one subject. I'm practically teaching five! Coordinating an entire foreign exchange program was not in my job description."
"Come on, Hermione. You know you only got stuck with the job because you're the most organized of the lot of us. If she'd tried to have me do it, we would've had a plant exchange program instead."
"That would've been a bit simpler! I'm not her factotum. I do have a family, and I don't think they've seen me for more than ten minutes at a time since the beginning of the summer!"
"Maybe you should talk to Minerva about it."
"I've tried! I always end up outside her door with a lemon drop before I know what hit me! I swear, she's channeling...or maybe it's just the portrait."
Neville sighed into his pudding. It was going to be one of those years. He wondered if they would bother doing night patrols; between Minerva, Hermione, and Ginny, the place was as good as demolished anyways. He was so glad to be able to retreat into the peace and solitude of his greenhouses. He peeked at his schedule to check the time of his first class.
7:00 a.m., First Year Charms. Joy of joys. Neville wondered if anyone would blame him for channeling a different Headmaster, one known for notoriously less cheerful methods of ensuring complaint students. He had some billowing black robes somewhere in the depths of his closet...
Factotum: a person employed to do all kinds of work.
If anyone's wondering, Neville is pondering channeling Professor Snape, who was Headmaster succeeding Albus Dumbledore during the seventh book. He was installed by Voldemort, and the official methods of keeping students in line during his tenure included torture.
Neville the Herbology Professor is cannon, as are Hermione's marriage to Ron and Ginny's marriage to Harry; however, in canon Neville is the only one of Harry's friends to return to Hogwarts as a teacher.