Feb. 7, 2012
Castle flipped the date on his desk calendar and sighed. Feb. 7th. Valentine's Day was just one week away. Such a frivolous holiday really. Promoted heavily by the card companies and chocolate makers as just one more day to leech the money out of your pocket. At least that's what a lot of men thought. Of course he wasn't one of them. He was a holiday, birthday, anniversary kind of guy. Nothing pleased him more than finding new and exciting ways to celebrate just about everything. Sadly, Valentine's Day was one of those days that just wasn't the same if you didn't have someone special to spend it with.
Christmas had been spent with his family, which was great, but something, someone, had been missing. He and Kate had exchanged gifts at the 12th. Small, goofy, safe gifts. New Years he had spent alone. Martha went out with one of her acting coaches and Alexis attended an all night party at her friend's. Castle spent the evening alone on his couch, watching the festivities on T.V., falling asleep at 11:00, only waking up when Alexis called him at midnight to wish him a Happy New Year. Now Valentine's Day was almost here and it looked like he was going to be Valentine-less. Three holidays that he had hoped to spend with Kate. Three disappointments.
He closed his eyes, and thought back to the previous summer, while he had sat around waiting to hear from her. Days, weeks, months had gone by and nothing. She had said she needed time. From him. He still wasn't completely sure why. Of course she had eventually made a move and they found their way back. To being partners. Friends. But something had changed. Her cutting him out of her life after all they had been through had hurt and although he told himself he had gotten over it, that hurt was still tucked away. It made him a little more cautious with his feelings. A little more wary. He felt off balance, not sure of where he stood. The easy flirting from before now seemed too casual, true flirting too serious.
But still, slowly he had begun to see some changes. Good ones. Positive ones. And a small flame of hope began to burn as he started to think that she was letting her wall down, finding her way to him. But now it seemed that he and Kate were at a complete stand still. Not losing ground, but not going forward. And he was tired. Tired of being alone. Tired of waiting for the woman he loved to love him back. Just tired. It didn't help that he hadn't been with a woman since he had gone to the Hamptons with Gina. He started to do the math on how long that was, but gave up, not wanting to hear a concrete number. Surprisingly, it wasn't the sex that he missed. It was the closeness, the connection to another person. That incredible feeling of being one half of a whole. He had been a half for way too long. That depressing thought led him back to his current predicament. Was it so wrong to want to spend Valentine's Day with a Valentine?