A/N So, before you think I'm utterly crazy for writing such a depressing one-shot, I need to explain. On the Mockingjay(dot)net forums, we had been discussing who might die, and Katniss herself was brought up. It was also brought up that the rebellion it self might die as well. Might fail. If Suzanne Collins was to stay in Katniss' POV, somebody on the forums had an idea: Maybe Katniss had to watch everybody she loved executed, before being executed herself. It was an intriguing idea, such a depressing ending that truly encompasses exactly what happens in war story such as this one. Sometimes, the good guys don't win. And that's completely realistic.
I wanted to give writing this type of ending a shot. It's rated M because, well, people are getting executed, and I doubt that's considered 'mild action violence.' This may be a bit of a weird one-shot for someone to write about, but see what you think. And then tell me what you think. :)
IT ENDS HERE
This is not the end. It can't be. Because after everything sacrified, I can't let myself believe that it's all going to end here.
All the people I've ever loved in my short eighteen years are lined up along the wall, hands bound. My mother. Haymitch.
Prim.
Peeta.
Gale.
An inescapable fate. The end of my life is the final move. And then the game is over. Is there hope? No, there is not. Through the little holes in the ceiling, guns are trained carefully on every rebel in the room.
There is no escape.
I can't wrap my mind around dying. Soon, my heart will stop beating. My skin will grow cold. Only now do I realize how much of my life has been left unexplored. If I could've truly freed everyone, I could've started from scratch. Begin again this life I'd so thoroughly damaged.
We never stood a chance. I wasn't strong enough, and the power of the Capitol was crushing.
The door opens and all heads turn. President Snow walks through the door, examining the scene with his cold, ruthless eyes.
"Katniss," he says softly.
A flood of hatred wells up inside me, tearing me up inside and threatening to break through. Here is the man who will kill me and all the ones I love without an ounce of mercy. Killing me isn't enough.
I'm not a violent person, but I am struck with a burning desire to kill him, kill him slowly in the most painful way I know, and watch as all his hopes die as the beating of his heart slows. A feeling of satisfaction sweeps through me.
President Snow walks up to me, a slight smile on his pale features. His face is the perfect picture of calm, but in his eyes I can see the anger. The anger, that it has come this far. The anger that will be avenged by my pain and my death.
"Do you have any last words, Katniss Everdeen?" he says softly. "Katniss Everdeen, the mockingjay, the girl on fire? Say whatever you would like to say. Oh, and remember—Panem is watching."
I whip my head around, looking for a camera, but Snow laughs.
"Talk fast," he says. "Because we don't have all day. Well, you don't."
Talk. I don't want to talk. I can apologize, but it can't repay all the lives my stupidity cost the districts. It will sound shallow and it's too little, too late. But it doesn't matter. I have to say something.
"I'm sorry," I croak hoarsely, unsure of where to look. "I'm sorry for what I've done that has hurt you all so much, and I know that even my death can't hope to repay the damage I've done. I'm sorry."
President Snow laughs. "So… where to begin?" He turns to the wall where everyone waits. Lined up for slaughter. "How about your dear mentor?"
Snow nods at a Peackeeper, who rushes forward to free Haymitch from the restraints. After a month in the Capitol's prison, he's more sober than he's been in his life. As he's led to the center of the room, he looks at me, and all the things he can't say to me I see in his face. Before the Peackeepers force him to his knees in the center of the room, I see his mouth open.
Sorry, sweetheart.
When I raise my hands to my mouth, to block the shriek of terror from escaping, I realize my fingers are trembling.
A second door opens, and a man walks through carrying an axe. The blade is razor-sharp.
It's happening. It's really happening, I think, and it's then that the horror hits me.
"No!" I scream, and fling myself forward, but my wrists are caught on the chains bound to the wall. I struggle for Haymitch, but I can't move an inch. "NO!"
A Peacekeeper beside me reaches out and strikes me in the head with the back of his hand. They drag me back to the wall.
The man with the axe walks to the center of the floor, polishing it carefully with his sleeve. He takes his position over Haymitch, who is perfectly still except for his trembling fingers, raises the axe high over his head, and swings.
I realize that I have closed my eyes, but I don't need them open to hear Prim's terrified scream, and President Snow's slow chuckle. Hating myself for what I've done, I force myself to open my eyes.
Three Peacekeepers are blocking my way, cleaning it all up.
Silently, President Snow motions to a Peacekeeper, who walks over to my mother. My heart constricts, shooting up into my throat, and then it shatters and falls to pieces as I see Prim next to her, tears streaming down her face.
"Mother," Prim whispers in fear, reaching out for her. Before my mother is forced to the center of the room, I see her plant a light kiss on Prim's forehead and squeeze her hand.
My mother is pushed to her knees in the pool of blood, and her blond hair falls across her face. Once so beautiful, her face shows all the worry and horrors of the past years. This wasn't her life to live, and it's my fault. Again.
"Katniss," my mother whispers, but a Peacekeeper roughly shoves her head down, and this time I force my eyelids to stay open, because if I die last I must watch all the horrific moments of this. It's my punishment.
And so this time, I see the muscles of the axe man clench as the axe is lifted into the air, see it come falling down.
Bile rises in my throat and I turn, splattering vomit over the walls, retching even when there's nothing left to vomit. I feel warm tears flood down my face, and stare into the ruthless face of the president.
"Don't," I sob, and hear the Peackeepers collect my mother's body. "No, no, I didn't—"
But then they are releasing Prim from her bonds. Seeing my little sister so vulnerable, my Prim, who just watched her mother die, sets me off.
"NO!" I scream, and run at her, feeling the bonds cut into my wrists. "NO! Stop! Not—" But the Peacekeeper's boot flies out of nowhere and connects solidly with my head, sending me back into the wall. Two more materialize out of nowhere and pin me to the wall, forcing my head up. And so I am paralyzed, watching in horror as my little sister is roughly thrown to the floor. She's so small, starving, and her shoulders tremble. Little Prim, who I had sworn to myself that I would take care of. Protect.
The axe is raised. The axe cuts the air. And because I owe this to my little sister, I watch every moment.
"PRI—" I scream again, but I'm vomiting again and the Peackeepers release me. Finally, I collapse to the floor, shaking and choking with tears streaming down my face.
Two more. Two more to go.
Through my haze of pain and hatred, I hear the president's voice. "Let her go." I feel hands release me from the walls and I stumble to my feet, into the arms of Gale.
Of course. President Snow wanted to see my last goodbye to Gale.
Gale wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tightly. I throw my arms around his neck and memorize the scent of him, and how he feels, because even when I die I never want to forget it. He pulls back when I whisper his name.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. "And I know that doesn't mean anything, but I have to say it and I—"
"Stop," Gale murmurs, resting his forehead on mine. "It doesn't matter."
Fresh tears. "But it does," I say.
"No," Gale says, "Katniss, it's not your fault, and I'd rather die a rebel than live in Panem."
All I can manage is a nod, and I pull him closer for a last hug.
"I love you, Katniss," he whispers in my ear.
"And I love you," I say, but to this day I still don't know what I mean by that. It doesn't matter anymore.
Just before the Peacekeepers pull us apart, Gale tilts his face down and kisses me full on the mouth, very briefly. But even after I'm dragged back and bound to the wall, I still feel his lips on mine, soft and warm.
First they tear Gale's shirt off to show the cameras the crisscross of white scars all down his back, and finally they shove him down. He doesn't shake at all, but kneels there perfectly still with his eyes closed.
President Snow chuckles softly. "What an interesting goodbye to your… cousin."
I snarl at him, not taking my eyes off Gale.
The axe is raised, the axe falls. I have nothing left in my stomach to vomit, but I'm left heaving all the same.
Peeta. He waits quietly, his eyes haunted. They don't release me from the chains this time, but Peeta comes to me anyways and no one stops him. He kneels beside me, a disgusting crying mess, and strokes my face.
"Peeta," I whimper.
"Katniss," he says softly.
"I'm so sorry," I choke out. "I brought you into this."
"No," he says. "I'm sorry I caused you all this trouble, and know that everything I've done was because I loved you. And when I die today, it's because I love you."
This doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel worse.
"I don't deserve it!" I cry. "I don't deserve your love, look where we ended up!"
Peeta leans forward and kisses my forehead. "No matter where we ended up, I always knew I wanted to end up beside you. How we end up, it doesn't matter." He gives me the smallest of smiles. "I love you, Katniss."
And he leans forward and kisses me again, on my mouth this time. Then the Peacekeepers drag him away.
When the man raises the axe, he gives a little cackle as it swings down. I cringe into the wall, retching, as a few of the Peackeepers along the walls stir, starting for me.
I don't realize why until they start to untie me. It's my turn.
The cards have been played. The game is almost over.
The Peacekeepers drag me over and drop me on my knees. A pair of perfectly white shoes splash through the blood and stop right before me.
"So, girl on fire," President Snow says. "Do you have anything left to say? Time is ticking."
I spit onto the president's shiny shoes and look up at him, hoping my face shows all the defiance and hatred I feel right now.
"All I hope for now," I begin, taking a deep breath. "Is that when the Capitol falls, I hope you are there to watch it crumble."
The president gives me a thin smile. "Good-bye, Katniss Everdeen."
As President Snow walks away, the feet of the axe man draw nearer. I train my gaze at the floor, but see the axe raised from the floor in the corner of my eye.
Over. It's over.
The axe man grunts as he swings the axe into the air.
Over. It's over.
I suck in a breath.
Over. It's over.
The axe swishes through the air.
Over. It's over.
...
A/N Um, yeah. I wasn't so sure about posting this. I need some feedback.