AUTHOR NOTE
re-writing this horrible garbage...
the new version is very fluffy. please don't read it.

only my cosmology:

The strange & romantic horror story of XANXUS+TSUNA~

Everything started on a strange day.

The first thing was, it was only February, but the sky was entirely clouded. I was out of bed but I wasn't even hardly awake when some-one gave me a crazy flaming letter. It seemed to be about Sawada Tsunayoshi, so I threw it some-where and let it burn itself up. After that, the phone rang... I stared at it, but didn't answer... not if it's about Sawada Tsunayoshi, I thought. Then there was silence throughout the building... a sick smell was becoming more noticeable. My mobile phone rang... then, some-one else's, close by. The piece of garbage that picked up that phone is really loud, so in any other case I would have been able to hear the conversation through the wall, but the wind was so loud outside. There was some yelling and I figured it meant he would be looking for me, so I decided to jump down from the window. The sky was too close. I swear the clouds were red like blood that day. Blood was seeping out between them like the cracks in scabbed-over skin. The crazy wind was blowing my coat and the stuff in my hair all over the place, but I thought I'd take a walk, anyway. At first I had thought it was just the building, but the smell must have been every-where... it wasn't me, for sure. I guess it was just the wind blowing the scent of infected skin from the crumby bleedy sky. Half-dead trees were getting their leaves blown off as I walked through them. I looked at the lifelessness all around and smelled the gorey air and wondered... what could have happened to Tsunayoshi that the HQ absolutely had to tell us about? As I found out, it wasn't really what happened to him, (which was a depressing story in itself), but rather where he was going because of it. When I finally slipped silently back into the house because the sky was threatening to let its blood fall all over me, who else should I find sleeping on the couch but the brat himself.

His hair was windswept. He was curled on the sofa in a sort of fetal position, using the arm wrapped about his face as a pillow. I saw him and I got a hot feeling in my stomach... I wanted to kill him. I shuffled over to the sofa, intending to take the disregarded throw pillow and smother him with it, but I watched my own hand go instead to his face and brush the sticky hair away, like it wasn't even me. It made me sick. His face was shiny with dried up tears. I was going to puke. His stupid brown eyes opened up and the whites were all pink... he looked up at me slowly, and I could tell he got scared because I felt him trembling under my crazy hand. It got worse when the tears started streaming down his cheeks and even snot dripped out of his nose, he was trembling so bad it shook my whole arm. I think the sickness was really kicking in, then, cause my hand just wiped away one line of tears before letting me pull it away again. I got out of there as fast as I could.

I was pretty freaked out by that incident, so I spent the rest of the week inside my room. The sky couldn't make up its mind that week. The hot, rotten wind died away and the clouds turned black and cold. Some times it looked like it would rain, but it just stayed barrenly dry. Other times the rain fell so hard it woke me up at night. After about a hundred years, the sun came shyly out from behind the filthy-looking clouds. I was feeling dizzy and I stumbled out of my room towards the dining room that day, and it was some circumstance that SQUALO happened to be there. He was turning an apple in his hand, and he crushed it when he saw me come in, like, just dug his fingers in until it broke into pieces. I lost my appetite a little. I put on my most agitated face and avoided eye contact for as long as I could... I just wanted to get to the food. As soon as I was swords-length away from him, though, he stood up and slammed his dirty hand on the table. Here it comes, I thought...

"VVVOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Where the fuck were you when all this shit with the brat went down? No-one's been able to get a hold of you since..."

God, his voice was like gravel scraping in my head. I had to tune it all out. I didn't know why he was giving me all this, anyway― Squalo was always the one who supported my avoidance of Tsunayoshi, since he knew better than any-one else that I couldn't control my murderous impulses. I guessed it was time to tune back in, to see what made this occasion special.

"... And the Ninth is about to throw your ass in a block of ice again if you don't go down there and fucking talk to him."

"Let's go, then," I said back. His eye twitched a little, but he went, anyway. So much for trying to get some food.

It turned out all that old bastard wanted was for me to take care of Tsunayoshi until they could get all the preparations finished. On top of having to get him into a good school in the area and every-thing else, they were really bent on going through with the inheritance ceremony for real, this time, and now that Timoteo was his only "immediate family," what better choice did he have, really? It would only be for a little while, he told me. Anyway, I knew the real reason he made a big fuss about getting me in person was so he could make that face at me. He does this stupid puppy face where he tries to sternly look at you while showing you how sad his eyes will look if you disobey him, but I'd been immune to that look since I was a kid, when he told me I shouldn't use my dying will flames to set things on fire.

When we returned home, I wanted to just avoid him until he had to leave, but the worst thing that could have happened happened. When I decided to go to sleep, it was late. The whole house was pitch black, but I had walked it so many times, I had no problem getting back to my room. However, when I went inside and turned on the light, there he was again. I went over to the bed and kicked it, and he sat up and looked at me with squinty sleepy stupid eyes.

"Xanxus? What are you doing here?"

"This is my room, trash." He blinked and rubbed both eyes like a baby.

"Ehhh, I'm sorry, I'll leave right now―" and with that, he tumbled out of my bed and ran out the door. After he left, I stared at the door and frowned for a while, then eventually changed into my jimjams so I could go to bed. I kept laying there, thinking about him and his stupid shiny face... not really anything besides that. It was dreamy. It took me a while to realise some-one was knocking on my door, but even then I didn't feel like answering it. I was really comfortable in the half-dreaming state. Then I guess my dreams became real because my eyes were wide open and I was staring at Tsunayoshi's face. He was just staring back at me with these giant eyes... what a creeper.

"Ermm... errr... I'm really... lost... Could you help me find my room?" he said, in the most timid voice ever. I could tell right away just from the sound of it that he had been crying again. What a dolt... but I said okay, so out we went into the hall. And no wonder he was lost, it was blacker than ever. He told me which room they put him in, and we made our way along slowly, since he was huddling really close. Probably was afraid of running into something and waking up all the crazies. My hand took the liberty of taking Tsuna's. I didn't even care anymore. He held onto it tightly. My eyes were not able to adjust to the dark at all, and I started seeing crazy blue and green orbs, so I got this idea.

"Hey. Let's run."

"Wha―" But the word turned into a yell, because I wasn't waiting~

I ran to the end of the hallway as fast as I could, still gripping Tsuna's hand while he flailed and screamed behind me. I sort of half-screamed, half-laughed back, and the sound echoed as we ran up the staircase. Here was Tsuna's room, the door ajar, and I yanked him inside and slammed it shut. I couldn't help smiling like crazy, but even though my eyes were as wide as they could go, everything was still blue, and a little bit indigo from the light outside the bedroom window. In that little light, I could see Tsunayoshi's face again. It was pretty pathetic looking, but I guess that's nothing new. I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder; They were probably awake by now, so I figured it'd be better if we sat it out on the roof. I swear, no-one ever thinks to look for you outside when you live in a mansion.

Tsuna was yelling and crying a little bit when I set him down on the roof, and my stomach dropped in horror when I realised what I was about to do. I didn't kiss him hard, but it was enough to bring his yelling down to a whimper. Then I just sort of stayed like that for a while, with my lips on the corner of his mouth, and his scared breath on my face made me understand a little bit why my body kept making me do those unthinkable things. Eventually, I got off him and just sat down on the edge. The sky was finally one hundred per-cent clear― I could see all the stars. After a while, I could hear soft breathing behind me; Tsuna had fallen asleep, just like that, right where I set him. I crawled up to where he was and rested my head on his stomach, and joined him pretty quickly.