Disclaimer: You know what? I'm only gonna say this once to avoid tedium. I don't own crap.
A/N: Hi, guys! Miss me? Of course you did. Anyway, this story is going to be comprised of random drabbles. Mostly funny ones, but a few will be serious. Probably a few random crossovers, too. It will be updated...whenever I feel like it. Let's go!
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Christine smiled as she examined herself in front of the mirror. She had discarded the white dress she had been rehearsing Faust in, and donned a rather...interesting outfit. She now wore brown boots, loose brown pants, a gray tunic with a brown belt around it, and a brown vest that appeared to be made out of animal fur. An iron helmet with horns on either side adorned her head, and she held a rather sharp looking battle-axe in her hand.
Why was she dressed like this, you might ask? Well, you see, Christine had decided to embrace her Viking heritage.
Seriously.
The thought first came to her mind a few months ago when the opera house had been performing Wagner's Die Walkure. She had, of course, always known that she must have had some Viking ancestors. Heck, everyone in Scandinavia did. She had even seen some old rune stones in Sweden that her father insisted bore the name "Daae". How did he know that? Because he was awesome, that's how.
But it never phased her until recently. There was just something about seeing her coworkers dressed as her ancestors and singing difficult notes that made her adrenaline rush. She was surprised, during one rehearsal, that she had the sudden urge to break something. She wanted to break everyone's props, punch out Carlotta, and then set the stage on fire. Her, sweet, innocent, Christine Daae!
It made her stop and take a look at her life. She had always been this docile, sweet thing. She hardly ever raised her voice, not even to tell her stalker boyfriends to leave her alone! She never even got into a bar fight! Everyone had gotten into at least once by her age(or at least that what the ballet rats told her). Her ancestors would be so ashamed!
But not anymore, she decided! She was going to bring back the Viking ways! Just as her ancestors took over Russia, she was going to take over France. Starting, obviously, with the opera house. Everyone knew that the French were nothing without their fancy music which they probably overpaid to listen to!(Or perhaps that that only applied to their friendly neighborhood opera ghost.)
She had already started her conquest by raiding the costume and prop rooms for her outfit. Though why exactly the prop room had an actual axe instead of a fake one is till a mystery.
She suddenly winced as she heard a series of sour notes pierce the air. It sounded like someone was beating a cat with a violin. She quickly deduced that it must have been the prima donna, Carlotta. Or, as she was now going by, La Helado de Vainilla.
Christine smiled to herself. She now knew where to strike next.
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Christine was hiding behind a curtain, watching the scene on the stage. Apparently, the diva was outraged over the part of Marguerite being given to Christine.
"This is ridiculous!" the diva exclaimed. "Everyone knows that I am the best singer in Paris - no, the world, - no, the universe! Why would you give the lead to that stupid little girl?"
"But, La Car – I mean, er, La Helado de...um, anyway, we're sorry, but the ghost threatened us!" one of the managers, Firmin, explained. "He's already dropped three chandeliers this past week alone. And let's not forget what he did to that poor mime. It's best not to antagonize him."
This is where the diva decided to sway them by singing(i.e. butchering) The Jewel aria. She had just barely sung the opening words when Christine decided to attack. With a battle cry, she swung the axe above her head and charged at the other singer. When Carlotta saw her, she let out a shriek that shattered a few windows.
She tried to run from the seemingly crazed Swede, but she didn't get very far. Christine tackled her rival to the ground, which was impressive considering her small size. She then used her axe to chop the poor woman's hair off, completely ignoring her hysterical yelling and crying. When she finished, she stood and attached the hair to her belt.
"Christine, what are you doing?" one of the ballet girls asked, her jaw hanging open.
She smiled and looked around. Everyone was staring at her with incredulous expressions.
"Greetings, everyone!" she cried. "I have decided that it was high time that I obeyed my warrior blood and took over this weak land. Anyone who stands in my way shall feel my wrath!"
"I wasn't standing in your way! Why did you cut off my hair?" La Helado de Vainilla(or HdV, as we will now call her) demanded.
"Along my journey, I shall be collecting trophies from my defeated enemies," Christine announced. "It will help serve to ward off any challengers and show what a mighty warrior I am. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to do."
She then ran out into the streets, yelling in Swedish, calling on Norse gods, and causing several carriage crashes.
Nobody could do anything but stare after her.
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A/N: Hmm, not quite sure how that turned out. Oh well, there will be more to come. I also apologize for the many stereotypes and false facts that I'm sure I'm using.
Review, please. It's the only way I know if this is any good or not.