Bromance
"Otto! Otto, man, I… I just, I really enjoyed last night. Really. I felt so… alive."
These were the first words Reggie heard as she approached her little brother and his best "friend" Twister. Reggie had never thought her brother to be gay- even though he was always the biggest asshole in Malibu, Otto always had a date with some whore, and there were more than a few times when Reggie had heard the high-pitched moans coming from his room afterwards. Reggie stopped walking towards her brother and hid behind a tree, trying to hear more of this conversation.
"You're so… God, you're just so big, Otto. So amazing. So fucking perfect… Otto, godammit, please, again!"
And yet here Twister was, saying sweet (or perhaps spicy or sour were better terms) nothings to her brother, begging her brother to do something to him again. Something they'd done last night… last night when Reggie heard Otto with that ho. She heard a girl's voice in Otto's room… what had happened last night?
"Twist, what the fuck are you talking about? Shut up man, I was with Lisa last night," Otto snapped at his dearest friend, quickly pulling back his hand from Twist's approaching hand.
Twist's previously lustful facial expression crumpled away to that of a puppy dog who just got yelled at or hit by it's master. "O… O-Otto…? What's wrong? Otto, what did I do wrong? Was I… was I not good enough?"
"I was with Lisa last night, Twister. LISA. God, I swear, you don't even know what's going on half the time! Sometimes I wonder why we're even friends, you're always off in your own stupid world. Seriously, shut the hell up. I don't know what you're even talking about. The only thing I can think about right now is how much better Lisa looks without her clothes on. It's just so… great, yeah, it's great. She's so… hot. I mean, her body, it's so fit. God, last night was so hot. The way she… grabbed me. Oh man, I love women. Women are so fucking great... yeah. So amazing."
Reggie breathed a sigh of relief and continued her journey to her brother and Twist. She still wondered why Twist looked like he was about to cry, but honestly he was a dumbass anyway. It was probably something stupid.
"Hey! Reggie, wait up! I wanna come with you guys!" Called Sam's voice. Now that was someone everyone in the group could agree was gay. He was "in the closet," but everyone knew. Reggie was more masculine than Sam. Actually, Reggie was more masculine than Sam, Otto, and Twist combined- Reggie, except for her hair, was basically a dyke, and everyone knew it.
Reggie had just reached her brother when she turned around and saw something she never wanted to see in her entire life…. Sam was wearing tights. Tights and a short dress.
Reggie immediately shouted "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING?!" She looked at her brother expectantly and he, feeling her masculine, cruel, dyke gaze on him, yelled at Sam,
"Yeah, bro, what the… WHAT THE FUCK. That's just so… so gay. Why are you wearing tights?"
Twister, breaking away from him sadness momentarily, looked to Sam for a moment and turned back to the infuriated sister and the slightly scared looking Otto, saying "I mean, I think he looks kinda cute… or he would, if his thighs weren't so chubby. Don't you think so, Otto?"
"What the- Dude, no, I don't think so! He's a guy! Hell, I wouldn't even want a chick to wear that, I mean, tights, really? On a guy, they show way too much… on a chick, they show way too little… I mean, gotta love the ladies and their long… smooth… sexy legs. Yeah. And then you try and look up their skirts. Oh, yeah… man, yeah. So great. So amazing," Otto responded, a bit halfheartedly.
Twist again looked forlorn at Otto's words, but Reggie was pissed. "God, I'd almost think you were gay, Otto. How do you get so many girls? You aren't even convincing when you talk about a chick's body. Seriously, sometimes you just make me question. You aren't gay, are you?"
Twist looked at Otto with his eyes wide, but Otto looked away, slightly ashamed.
"Are you?!"
"N… No, dude, no, of course not. I fucked Hannah, Sarah, Cindy, Fanny, Tabatha, and Lisa last week. That's almost one a day! And I missed one day only because I was sick, okay?" Otto defended himself.
"Dude, isn't Fanny like… a sixty year old?!" Reggie asked, her eyes almost as wide as Twist's.
"Well, hey, a woman is a woman, right? She uh, she wanted me… how could I say no?" Otto said, his reasoning not very sound.
"Ew. What the fuck is wrong with you" were Reggie's last words on the subject, her face a snear. Otto looked a bit frightened at this point, perhaps concerned that her dyke attitude would take over and cause her to beat him up.
"Wait, did you… did you really do all those girls?" Twist questioned earnestly, eyes watering.
"O-of course I did! Yeah, man, I banged all of them. Banged all of them good, left them begging for more!" Otto exclaimed, causing Twist to really cry.
"Wait, what are you guys talking about?" Sam asked, as ignorant as ever. "Oh, guess what, I got the part of Andrew in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night! Do you like my costume?!"
Reggie sighed.
"Do you think I… do you think I look hot, Otto?" Sam whispered.
Otto was honest in his emotions for once, and yelled at Sam, "NO, SAM. NO, I DON'T. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Reggie had no idea what was going on, and she knew that if she found out, she'd have to kick some ass, so she didn't asked. She said in a particularly deep voice, "Get your lazy asses together and let's go to the Shack!" Everyone immediately listened to her because as the manliest group member, she was the strongest and the meanest and no one enjoyed having their ass handed to them on a silver platter.
As the group walked, they saw something even more frightening than Sam's jiggling thighs. Something even more confusing than Otto and Twist's "friendship."
Sam screamed, Otto hid behind Reggie, and Twist grabbed onto Otto's arm. Reggie just let her mouth drop open.
"Wait'll you see my-"
"DIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCK KKKKKKKKKK!"said Tito as he wiped out his dick to show Ray.
"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" said Otto as he stared in amazement at Tito's dick.
"Kids you just need to leave so I can "talk" to Tito in private," said Ray as he too stared in amazement at Tito's dick.
The kids didn't understand what Ray meant when he said "talk" but they were more than happy to leave the restaurant and turn the corner so they can listen in on Ray and Tito's "conversation."
Reggie sighed in disapproval as the three boys pressed themselves against the side of the Shack. Sam started to rake his fingernails across his pot belly to get in the "mood." The fluffy boy squeaked breathlessly, which sounded more like a moan, but nonetheless was still fucking disgusting. Reg couldn't take much more as she leaned down, ready to dispel the macho "taco" she had for lunch earlier. Twist clawed at his own stomach, releasing waves of translucent vomit onto Otto's perfectly sculpted and unfortunately covered abs. The tan man tore himself away from Twist and gawked at the mess on his clothes.
"Twist. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS ON MY SHIRT!" Otto cried, pointing at the white liquid drenching his pretty wife beater. He tried to rub the substance off, but this was some sticky puke and the asshole had left his Tide-To-Go marker at the Boardwalk.
"Milk."
Otto recoiled for a moment, but only a moment, remembering the sick deed that he had forced Lisa to do last night... and this morning… Twist licked his lips, and the asshole swallowed, subconsciously, of course, the nasty rising lump in his throat. Sammy watched the scene in agony and touched himself again, the tension becoming too much for him.
"Milk?"
"Yes, Otto, Milk."
At this, the purple haired bitch grabbed at her crotch, pulling the one fact she knew from her ass.
"TWIST, AREN'T YOU LACTOSE INTOLERANT?"
A throaty noise resounded from the Shack.
The four stumbled back, and trust me, THEY DID NOT NEED VIAGRA. Otto stared at each of their shining boners and high-fived Sam, quickly regretting it as the fatass locked his sausage links (not that kind of sausage ) with his own slender fingers. Twist slapped Sam's sausages (or should I say sausage?) away and grasped Otto's abused hand.
"I…" Twist looked up hopefully, expectantly. Otto's orbs gleamed with feelings Twist couldn't name, and just when he thought he'd find his answer, the eyes looked away, opening with entirely NEW emotions.
"Um.. Reggie?" Otto whispered to his much taller sist… sibling. Otto pointed at the bitch's pants, as the other boys' mouths fell in shock.
And there she was, countenance absence of guilt, sporting the biggest "tent" the boys had ever seen.