I don't own Pitch Perfect or any of the wonderful characters in it.
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How long have you known Chole? Forever, you could say. Yeah. She has been your friend for the past ten years. Ten significant years of your life. She has been with you through thick and thin. She is your best mate, your best friend. She even played the role of a big sister during your college years. You remember how you had mentioned the same and her face got all scrunched up like she had bit into something very bitter.
'What?' You had asked.
'There is no way, I am giving into such a commitment. So don't make trouble and run into me.' She had replied. You chuckled at the comment and shoved her.
Did she felt it then too? Was it her way of deflecting the talk, the idea of me being her sister?
Did you really think of Chloe as your sister? No. Not really. Chloe had been always Chloe. Just Chloe. Smiling, fun loving, flirtatious (with everyone!) Chloe – Who knew no personal boundaries, who marched into your shower and then into your life. Chloe was just Chloe.
You had once thought, how it would feel if you two were a couple. But you quickly dispelled the thought. She wasn't your perfect girl. (Of course you loved her the way she was.) She was never the Ms. Right. Why do people want perfect? You weren't perfect, then why you need perfect? You guess everyone is selfish that way.
So was Stacie perfect? Yes, she was. Or so you thought. She was confident, knew what she was doing, was passionate about the things she loved. The thought of Stacie still hurts. Like a pin prick. Like many pin pricks, you didn't knew were there. But there was no going back. Would you go back even if you could?
Was that real love? Is that how it works? Blind passion. Was it love? If it was it should have lasted – the love, the lust, the need. But it didn't. So was that really love? Or just passion?
Would you go back even if you could? No.
Chloe loves you. Like loves you loves you. Like wanting you to be her girlfriend loves me. She said so. She said three weeks back and you said nothing. You saw her cry. She asked you to say something.
'I'm Sorry' is all you said and she left. What were you sorry for? Sorry for her, for loving yiu? For you not returning her feelings? Why? Why won't you return her feelings? Because she is just Chloe. Your best friend Chloe. How can you love love her? And she left. Went to her home back – in Atlanta.
It's been three weeks. You know she needed time. So you let her be. You knew your friend would be back. She always comes back. After every fight, every angry words, every single time she comes back. She always have. Except this time, she doesn't. Not this time.
Benji called you yesterday. Chloe resigned from the hospital. She had decided to take a position in New York, he said. He talked about Emily's new show and his new patient at the hospital. You don't exactly know what he said. You just give him the right answers , exclamations, congrats (He is getting Chloe's position) And when you cut the phone, you could feel nothing anymore. Benji had told Chloe's brother Josh would be coming to pick up her things for her from her apartment. You probably would never see her again. And you can feel nothing. It would have been better if you felt something, anything, hurt, heart break... Anything but the void, you didn't know what to call. But you don't . You just stay there. You can't move.
A week after, Josh picked up her things from the apartment and left. Just like that Chloe was gone. From LA. From your life. The one constant in your whole life through the past ten years is gone.
Days pass and you go on with your routines in studio and Clubs. You were never the wine person. But your evenings now ended with a glass or two of wine, now. It is only been a few weeks and things were already changing in your life. And Chloe would never know. Would she approve? You would never admit it to her, but her approval meant a lot to you. She would be changing too. Would you know her anymore if you meet her again? Josh had left a letter from her for you. You haven't open it yet. You were angry at her – for leaving.
Dear Bec,
I'm sorry I'm leaving the way I am. I wish I could do better, be better, but I can't. I thought I was strong. I am not. Not enough. I had dealt with it for so long I thought I could do now too. But I can't. Not anymore.
It is embarrassing perhaps, being in love with your best friend for past seven years (or maybe even before that) but never doing anything about it. It was so not Chloe Beal, right? Except it was so Chloe Beal, when it came to Beca Mitchel. I was almost sure that you would never return my feelings (almost). You even said that I was like an elder sister. That should have ringed the bell. But I held on to the opposite of almost. Hoping against hope when not in my right sense and chastising me when otherwise. I held on.
And then Stacie happened. And you fell head over heels for her. I tried to give you space. Tried to be happy for you because you were.
I would never forget the way you cried when you broke up with her. It broke my heart. I was so angry at her for hurting you, at the universe for the cruel game it was playing on you and on me. Look where we were. You were saying may be it was your fault, that perhaps you weren't good enough. You were saying that to me. To me. I, who was consoling the girl with whom I had been in love for the past seven years. For what? For her heart break over another girl, who would toss her heart in the gutter just like that. When that heart was all I ever wanted. And I couldn't have.
Then one day, that day, I couldn't take it anymore. To see you hurting like that. Still. After six bloody months. And I told you.
I should have known. I just couldn't see you like that anymore. So I said it. I wish I hadn't. But I did. Maybe it is a good thing. Maybe both of us can move on now.
You are the most wonderful person I know and you could have anyone. And you will. Never doubt that.
And I would find someone too eventually. Now that I know your answer. I could move on as well.
I need some time away Bec. You'll see me again. When I am ready. When we can be friends again.
With Love
Chloe
PS: Never forget you are the most lovable person in the planet.
Except you weren't. But Chloe was. You were crying.