Have you ever wanted to get to know a sith outside of the dark side?
Today I interview Lord Maul, the first apprentice of Darth Sidious.
INTERVIEWER - Good morning, Lord Maul. Would you mind answering a few questions.
I'll keep it quick.
DARTH MAUL - See that you do. My master keeps me busy.
INTERVIEWER - As you wish. Why did you become a sith?
DARTH MAUL - Darth Sidious raised me, providing everything I required as a toddler.
I owe him my life. I freely give it to him. I am his to command.
INTERVIEWER - Why do you hate the jedi?
DARTH MAUL - Because my master hates them. They are his enemy. So they are my enemy.
INTERVIEWER - I admire your loyalty. Do you have any interests or hobbies?
DARTH MAUL - No. I do not like to waste my time with childish things.
INTERVIEWER - Have you ever traveled? Ever taken a vacation?
DARTH MAUL - What did I just say? A "vacation" would qualify as something childish.
I go wherever and whenever my master sends me. Open your ears, or I'll open them for you.
INTERVIEWER - Sorry, my lord. Do you have any favorite foods?
DARTH MAUL - No. Food is just subsistence for an empty belly. Nothing more.
INTERVIEWER - What do you do on your spare time? How do you relax?
DARTH MAUL - What did I say earlier? My master keeps me busy. I live to serve him.
INTERVIEWER - Sorry again, my lord. What do you enjoy the most? What is your "guilty" pleasure?
DARTH MAUL - Successfully completing whatever mission my master assigns me.
I never feel guilty for eliminating my assigned target.
INTERVIEWER - Thank you for your time, Lord Maul.
DARTH MAUL - Get lost. NOW!