Warning: language and smut. Let me know what you guys think! This is my first full length Supernatural fic.

The door creaks open and Dean stumbles in, a satisfied grin on his face. Cas looks over at him from the bed he's sitting on. Sam glances at Dean from the bathroom, and then resumes brushing his teeth.

Dean plops down on the bed next to the one Cas is on, saying, "Damn that bitch was fine." He grins and lays back, putting his hands behind his head and sighing.

Cas bites his lip and looks over at the television, which is playing some late night soap. He doesn't like it when Dean does this. When he goes out and does things with girls at clubs. Cas knows that Dean is into that sort of thing, but it doesn't stop him from being jealous. He won't admit it to himself, but that's exactly what it is, jealousy. He wishes that Dean would just stay with him, instead of sneaking out to get laid by some whore.

"Everything you expected?" Sam asks, coming to stand over Dean.

"And more," Dean laughs.

Cas watches as Dean smiles again, and he wishes that the smile were for him. He folds his arms over his coat and stares pointedly at the television as Dean makes an appreciative noise in the back of his throat. It makes Cas cringe.

He gets up from the bed and heads away from the Winchesters, walking slowly toward the door. A call of "Where you going, Cas?" from Dean stops him.

He looks over his shoulder and replies slowly, "My services are no longer required at this point in time."

Cas can hear the bed creak as Dean sits up on it. "What's that supposed to mean? We're not done with this hunt."

"You can finish it. I am not needed."

"So you're just gonna flit off then?" There's a tone to Dean's voice.

Cas doesn't reply. Instead he makes his way toward the door. His hand is on the knob, but fingers digging into his shoulder stop him.

Dean turns him around and looks at him. "There something you want to tell me, Cas?"

"What do you mean?" Cas answers, keeping his eyes fixed on Dean's.

"Don't give me that crap. I can tell that something's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong," Cas says, although his voice wavers a bit.

Dean throws his hands in the air. "It's like talking to a brick wall."

Cas looks down at his shoes. He's not exactly sure what to say. There are many things he wants to say, but what he's feeling right now, that jealously, isn't something that he's used to, and he doesn't quite know how to deal with it.

Dean's voice breaks into his thoughts, "Just spit it out, Cas."

Cas's hands bunch into fists, and then he's turning on Dean the words spilling from his mouth, "Why must you go and associate with whores and prostitutes? You've had relations with so many women over the course of your life, Dean. Does sex mean nothing to you? It's just another way for you to feel good isn't it? Because that's all that matters, is that you feel good. Tell me Dean, are you actually capable of feeling anything? Do you care about the countless women you've slept with? Or are they just another warm body for you to bang? You've committed such fornication that it makes me sick."

He spits out the last word and there's a ringing silence in the room. Dean's mouth hangs open in shock and Sam's eyebrows are raised as he looks on with a similar expression.

Dean flounders for words and Sam coughs. "I'm gonna go grab a beer."

Sam's out the door faster than Dean can formulate a sentence. The door slams with a bang and Dean and Cas are alone in the silent room.

Dean shakes himself and says, "What the hell was that? Why do you care about what I do in bed?"

Cas sits down on one of the motel beds, folding his hands in his laps as he says, "The Lord has deemed adultery a sin, Dean. And yet, you commit it on a regular basis."

Dean almost laughs. "That's not the only sin I've done, Cas. Hell, my soul's probably as black as a piece of damn coal."

"It's not."

"What?"

Cas looks up at Dean as he replies, "I've seen your soul Dean. I raised it out of hell. Granted it was broken, as with every human soul, but it certainly wasn't damaged beyond repair."

Dean sits on the other bed and says, "I don't understand why we're having this conversation."

"Dean," Cas's voice is level, "I've seen thousands upon thousands of souls. Souls of the righteous and of the damned, but yours, yours was different." He twiddles his thumbs nervously, "I don't really know how to describe it, other than beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Dean echoes.

Cas nods and Dean shakes his head. "What has gotten into you, Cas?"

"You," Cas answers, eyes fixed on Dean.

"Me?"

"Ever since I raised you from the pit, I've felt a connection to you, Dean. This bond we share, I've never experienced something like this before. Not with a human anyway."

"What does that even mean?"

There's anger in Dean's voice and it cuts through Cas like a knife. He shivers and thinks for a moment, trying to decide how to put into words what he's feeling. These feelings are not normal for an angel and Cas doesn't know how to describe them. How is he supposed to tell Dean about what Dean's been doing to him. About how he feels anxious when he doesn't hear from the hunter for days, about that feeling in the pit of his stomach when Dean touches him.

He's attributed most of the physical things to his vessel, like the fact that he longs for Dean's fingers in his hair, and the hunter's lips against his. To have a human body, means that he would have certain human desires as well. He hadn't entertained the thought of having such desires for Dean. But as of late, he had noticed that he wanted Dean, he needed Dean, and in much more than a physical way. He wanted all of the hunter, which was something that he didn't know how to ask of him.

"Cas, what is going on?" Dean's voice cuts into his thoughts.

Cas inhales and then asks it, "Have you ever considered bonding with me?"

Dean's eyes go wide. "You wanna to bang me?"

Cas shakes his head. "Bonding for angels refers to something more than just the physical. It's a union of souls, Dean, of the very essence of a being."

"You want to bond our souls together?"

Cas nods, and looks down at his hands. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I feel it needs to be done."

Dean is silent for a few moments as he lets Cas's request sink in. Then he asks softly, "What exactly does soul bonding entail?"

"It would tie us together in a way that surpasses any known union. Marriage would be an example of what it's like."

"Marriage?"

"Yes, except it's more than just a piece of paper bonding us together, and if we were to get as you humans put it, a divorce, you would probably die."

"Well then why the hell would I consent to something like that?"

"Because I want, I need you to, Dean. Please Dean, I'm begging you."

Cas's reply is so low that Dean almost doesn't catch the last part. He tilts his head up and Cas is beside him, so close that Dean can feel the angels breath against his face. Damn Cas and his problem with personal space.

Dean rubs at the back of his neck nervously. He doesn't understand why Cas would be asking this, begging for this, as he puts it. Why would Cas want, need, to have his soul bonded with his? And why would Dean even give his consent to something like this?

"Dean please."

Cas's eyes are pleading, the blue watery behind tears that threaten to fall. Dean stares at the angel. He's never seen Cas like this before. It scares him.

"Why, Cas?" Dean asks, "Why me? Why now? What brought this on?"

Cas's bottom lip quivers and he replies, "When I raised you from hell, you were laid bare before me, Dean. I saw everything that you are, every nightmare, every dream, every person you've ever loved, every emotion you've felt. I held your soul in my hands, and... I..." He takes a deep breath, "I think it seared onto mine, has been searing onto mine."

"What?"

"I've been too open with you Dean, I let my guard down. I've always felt a special connection to you, and that connection has grown over the course of our friendship, at least for me anyway. I don't know how to explain it other than I just need you."

"You need me?"

Cas nods. "My soul very different from yours, Dean. I shouldn't need, I'm not supposed to want to be bonded, especially not with a human soul. But ever since I met you..." His voice breaks off, but he composes himself and says firmly, "I've changed, Dean. You've taught me things and showed me that there is more to life than the orders I have been given. I've learned from you and I'll be damned if you haven't shown me how to feel."