Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid or Hetalia. If I did well let's just leave it at all Hell would break loose. Also this will have some attempted suicide and it's short. Don't like? Don't read it. It is also a song fanfic. Just because I really enjoy those. Oh I do realize its pretty short and pretty lame but eh no flames please. Enjoy (:
Rolling Boy
"Hey Alfred-kun?" A man with black raven hair and brown emotionless eyes called out to his eager friend, another man who had beautiful wheat blond hair and beautiful shinning sapphire eyes. This man's name was Alfred F. Jones; he represented the United States of America, which probably explains his bubbly and lay back attitude. He had it all, well everything that matters in this world anyway, fame and wealth. He could buy himself many Ferraris if he wanted to, or buy several mansions through out the world. He had all the power in the world as well, with a few sentences to convince congress he could easily start a war with another country. He had absolutely everything. Well not everything. It only seemed that way to others. All of this was false.
"Sup Kiku?" He asked with his usual trademark smile. His friend, Kiku Honda, has a great interest in one thing, and that was anime. To be more exact, The Vocaloids. "Miku Hatsune released a new song today." He replies with a small smile. Alfred laughed and smiled at him, "That's so cool, what's it called?"
"It is called Rolling Girl."
That was earlier. Now Alfred lies on his bed listening to the song over and over again. Each lyric haunting him over and over again. He couldn't believe what the lyrics said, because my dear Reader even though all Alfred shows is happiness and all he gloats about is his successes, he knows that he isn't happy, and he knows he has made more mistakes than any of his other comrades. He was a rolling boy.
"Rolling Girl always looked at unreachable dreams
Making a fuss if you got inside her head and disturbed, disturbed."
The next day he hosted the monthly world meeting. It was his turn therefore it was in America. With the song stuck in his head he looked around. Everything was going as it usually does. Feliciano poking at Ludwig, Francis teasing and making perverse comments to the other nations, Alfred's own twin brother being unnoticed, and Arthur. Sitting quietly in his seat taking sips of tea and minding his business to the book he had. Alfred stared in awe, everything about this Brit, made him go crazy.
He loved the way those green eyes would practically study each page, his bushy eyebrows furrowing at the pages once in a while, how he had his beautiful blond hair so shaggy and his signature scowl on his face.
Alfred couldn't help but to smile. Alfred wanted Arthur; he was in love with him. Always dreaming about him and dreaming about the things they could do. What an unreachable dream. The Briton was always in his head. Just a tease and nothing more, Arthur hated him anyway. All Alfred can do is smile at him and tease him, hiding his actual feelings for the Brit, all behind that fake smile of his.
"'No problem.' Was murmured, but weren't those words lost?
Fail again, fail again.
After ending your search for mistakes, it spins again!"
"Alfred…?" The man with green eyes finally spoke up. Alfred looks up at him and smiles brightly, "What can I do for ya?" Arthur sighs, "You git I heard that your still in war with Afghanistan even with this Osama Bin Laden guy dead. Are you still in war because of these 'Terrorists?' Or is there something else"
Alfred stood silent for a bit, finally responding, "Of course I am. The heroes gotta stop the bad guys. And as you know, I'm the Hero!" He smiles and gets in a heroic pose. Lies, all of these lies swallowed Alfred up, but he had to keep saying them, because he doesn't even know why he's still at war with Afghanistan. His boss makes him follow all his commands blindly.
The Brit sighed, "Just do me a favor Alfred… don't get killed out there." Alfred smiled, "No problem" and watched Arthur walk away. He lied. If only he could tell him everything. But he couldn't.
"Once more, once more.
'I'll also roll today,'
That girl says, that girl says,
Playing her words with meaning"
Before Alfred could walk away a short Chinese man with long brown hair in a ponytail stopped him, "Alfred, you owe me a lot of money. When will you pay aru?" Alfred sighed and turned to face him. "Yao… you know I can't pay you back today…"
Once more he repeated those words. It isn't his fault, his boss wants all the money to be spent in the war and on what's "best for the nation" when in reality the nation is slowly falling. Along with Alfred's sanity.
Yao sighed, "Well when…?" Alfred smiled at him, "I'll also roll on that" Alfred walked away leaving Yao to think on those words.
"'Are you better now?'
'It's still always off, I still don't see the point. I'm gonna stop my breathing, now.'"
Alfred visited the white house today. His boss needed to talk to him about the crisis occurring in the United States. Alfred practically choked at every problem his boss mentioned.
Endless problems, all involving his poor citizens. Strikes all over the nation, crime rising quickly, fewer kids are graduating, more teenage pregnancies, more abortions, the prices on things are getting high, there was still a lot of people without jobs, the lack of money going to schools, all the money is going to the war, and the war itself.
He couldn't do anything. He was useless. He couldn't do anything unless it was a command or a law. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. He held back his tears while his boss' servant served him a lot of beer. Alfred drank most of it, he felt like he had to.
"Are you better now?" His boss asked. Alfred knew what his boss was doing; trying to make him forget and act happy for all the other nations won't suspect a thing. He smiled at his boss "I will be soon" and he stumbles out of the room.
"Rolling Girl is at the end of the ruins, beyond unreachable colors
overlapping voices with voices and blending, blending."
Alfred sat in his car, holding his locks of hair and tugging at them as he laid his head back. Could no one help him? Is he alone? Could he really burden the few that he cared for with himself? He shut his eyes and banged his head against the wheel making his glasses fall. He hugged himself desperately.
All the other nations, no matter how much he gloats and hides, they all know the truth, they all knowing he's slowly dying. At this point he's bawling his eyes out. He wondered if the meaning of the saying "Easy come, Easy Go" is actually true. It must be, he quickly gained power and now he's quickly losing it.
He had to end it all. He wants no more of this pain. He doesn't want to be this pathetic figure anymore.
"'No problem.' Was murmured, but those words were lost.
How are you going to turn out good?
Even the hill tempting me is making mistakes now."
All his thoughts, all the lyrics in the song were making the man insane. His country can't afford another mistake. But he's young and foolish; he's bound to make another mistake. He feels the weight of the world on his shoulders, if he falls what would become of his citizens? Why does he keep failing? Is the world better with him gone?
"Once more, once more.
Somehow I'm rolling.
That girl said, That girl said
Repeating silent words with meaning"
He began to think now of all his citizens, they were all human lives; could he really risk them all? Could he really keep pushing forward without hurting them? A lot of his middle class and lower class are suffering because of his economic status, and he feels helpless he can't help them. It's all up to the boss and congress. Pathetic he repeated in his head over and over again.
"Are you better now?'
'Just a bit more and you'll see something soon. I'm gonna stop my breathing, now."
Alfred finally just stopped everything. His mind went black, there was one thing left in his mind. Someone as useless as him, someone who lies as much as he did, didn't deserve to live. He got out of his car and starts walking. He doesn't know where to, he just kept walking, looking for the one thing he wanted to find. A Cliff, a Bridge, Anywhere high.
He found a bridge close by this small hotel. He walked closer taking a deep breath his heart beating quickly.
"Once more, once more.
'I'll also roll today,'
That girl says, that girl says,
Playing her words with a smile"
The Brit misses his flight back to England so he had to stay in America for a night. He chose a small cozy hotel to stay at. He smiled and continued drinking his tea besides the fireplace. He enjoyed how this hotel looked, it was peaceful. He enjoyed the silence, until out of nowhere the silence was interrupted.
A maid who worked in the hotel shrieked, "Oh my gawd that fellow is going to jump!" Arthur curiously looked out the window to see the man who was about to jump. This man was blond and he was tall. He also had a jacket on, one with a number 50 behind it. 'Strange that looks like Alfred's jacket' he thought. He then realized that was Alfred and he ran out of the room not caring what he knocked over.
Alfred was going to commit suicide.
"Are you better now? It's okay now. Let's go, you must be tired as well, right?'
I wanna stop my breathing, now."
Alfred Let his mind go blank as he prepared himself to jump. 'Goodbye Arthur' was the last thought he had as he sprung his legs. All of a sudden he felt a hand on his arm, pulling him back from the bridge. Alfred opened his eyes to see Arthur, who was crying his eyes out.
"You damned git what are you doing? What are you thinking? T-taking your life is really idiotic! I would have… I would have-""You would have what Arthur…" Alfred asked. Why does he care all of a sudden?
Arthur was at lost of words right now; he didn't know what to respond. His tears falling down his cheeks like waterfalls, his arms shaking, he felt so weak. He didn't know what to say or do. He just took a deep breath and hugged Alfred tightly "I would have missed you… I don't want you to leave me… I-I love you"
Alfred gasped a bit as he got pulled into the hug and when Arthur spoke those words. He couldn't help but to smile. Someone cared for him, he would have been missed. Arthur loved him. He hugged Arthur back and cried in his shoulder. Just like back in his childhood. "It'll be okay Alfred… You must be tired. " The Brit said softly. Alfred nodded lightly.
The Brit smiled and stood up helping Alfred up. As Arthur turned around Alfred stopped him and grabbed hold of his arm. "A-Alfred what are you?-"He was quickly interrupted by Alfred's lips on his own. He blushed furiously but kissed back. When Alfred pulled away he gently muttered "I love you too."
Arthur was all Alfred needed to be happy, even in this desperate crisis he was in. Arthur had stopped that rolling boy.