Tina held onto Blaine as they spun around the reception hall. The wedding had gone off without a hitch, and she was glad to see Ms. Pillsbury - or Ms. Pillsbury-Schuester, now - happy. She knew that this was the third wedding that the guidance councillor had had - or almost had - in the past four years, and Tina's only hope was that Ms. Pillsbury was truly happy with Mr. Schue. "Aren't weddings just the cutest thing ever?" she asked Blaine.
He didn't even look at her as he replied with a muffled, "Yeah."
Tina frowned slightly. "Blainers, what's wrong?" she asked, turning to follow the gaze of his warm and chocolatey brown eyes. Her eyes were instantly drawn towards Kurt, and she understood what was taking her date's attention away from her. She could feel some jealousy stirring in her stomach, but then she had known that this would happen. Blaine had told her time and time again that he was only putting his affection into Sam because he missed Kurt. It had made her wonder on more than one occasion if she was just putting her affection into Blaine because of Mike. "Listen, why don't you go talk to him?" she suggested, knowing that she might regret allowing Blaine to go speak with his ex-boyfriend. It would only end badly for her.
"After we finish this dance, yeah," he said, still seeming very distracted. He turned his eyes back to face Tina, and she could feel the breath catch in her throat. She hadn't realized how close their faces had been, since his had been turned in Kurt's direction, and he was close enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek. The close proximity made her think back to the Sadie Hawkins dance, when the two had almost kissed before Sam had pulled Blaine away. The only good thing to come out of the missed kiss was that glee club was now heading to Regionals, but she still regretted never getting the chance to kiss Blaine. Maybe one kiss was all it took.
"What are you going to say to him?" Tina asked, looking up at Blaine, refusing to step back from him. Maybe she would still get her chance.
"I don't know," admitted Blaine. "Tell him I miss him, I guess." He sighed softly. "I really do miss him, T. You know that. I just don't know if he misses me as much as I miss him."
Tina placed a hand on Blaine's soft cheek. "Hey, you're a great catch," she told him. "Anyone would be lucky to have you." She could feel her heart drop as she spoke. What was she doing? Was she encouraging the love of her life to go speak to the love of his life? "Besides," she continued, "He came here with Rachel. No date or anything." She just wanted Blaine to be happy, and Tina knew that he couldn't be happy with her. Not like he could be with Kurt.
Blaine smiled, the look of an innocent kid on his face. "You're right," he said, slowly coming around to the idea that Kurt actually might want to see him. "Tay Tay, have I ever told you how amazing you are?"
"I think it's come up before," she giggled, leaning forward to rest her head on his shoulder. The song was almost over, and she didn't want to talk anymore. She just wanted to soak in the moment, to soak in Blaine Anderson for probably the last time. Tina knew that she was sending him off to go see the man he loved, and she knew that she was giving her Blaine away. Still, there was still a small part of her that hoped that he would return to her after speaking with Kurt and he would sweep her off her feet. Tina closed her eyes and danced with Blaine, knowing that she was losing out to Kurt. It wasn't even a very fair competition, either. Kurt was a boy and she was a girl, and Blaine had made it very clear that he was gay. Maybe if she were a boy, she would actually have a realistic chance with him. But she wasn't, so she didn't, and she knew that. She had chided herself many times for falling in love with someone that she knew couldn't love her back, but love was not something that you chose. It chose you, and it was just Tina Cohen-Chang's luck that it had chosen her a gay man.
As the song came to a close, the people in the hall began to clap for the performers. Tina lifted her head off of Blaine's shoulder and took a step back, breaking all physical contact with him. "Go," she said, feeling her throat dry up as she spoke. "Go talk with Kurt. I'm sure that he wants to talk to you too."
Blaine turned to glance over at Kurt and a look come over his face, one that she had never seen him give her, and that was when she knew just how out of luck she was. "Thanks Tina," he said, turning back to her. He leaned in and his soft, pink lips brushed Tina's cheek with a thank you kiss. He pulled back, smiled at her once more, and ran off to go speak with Kurt.
Tina brought her hand up to her cheek and grazed the spot where he had kissed her, trying to hold back the tears. She turned and went to go sit down at one of the empty tables, biting her lip. She watched the dance floor, not wanting to watch Kurt and Blaine together. She knew that it would hurt her too much. It wasn't Kurt's fault, it was all love's fault. She had fallen for someone who would never return her feelings, at least not in that way.
"Hey." Tina turned around as she heard someone speak and felt a hand on her shoulder. Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez were standing behind her, Quinn's hand resting on Tina's shoulder.
"Hi," Tina replied, turning away from them. Quinn pulled up a chair beside Tina and Santana sat down across from her.
"We came to see how you were doing," Quinn explained.
"Yeah, and we wanted to get the details on what's going on between you and Gay Warbler," Santana continued, smirking.
Tina averted her eyes to the tablecloth. "I don't know what you're talking about, Santana," she said, knowing full well that she was lying.
"Oh come on," Santana said, leaning across the table. "I saw you two dancing. You had that whole puppy dog look on your face - I know love when I see it, Asian. Besides, Britt told me that you sang a song to him before the Sadie Hawkins dance comparing him to Jesus."
"Santana, it's none of your business," Tina snapped, looking up. She was so sick of the girl upstaging her and just generally being around all the time. Sure, she had called Santana up to tell her about Brittany and Sam, but she hadn't expected the girl to stick around for as long as she had.
Santana shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just here to bring you down to reality, Cohen-Chang," she responded. "Blaine Anderson is gay with a capitol g. Unless you've got a penis that we don't know about, which I wouldn't doubt, you've got no chance with the man."
Tina bit down on her lip, feeling anger boiling inside of her. Why was Santana getting in her business. Wasn't she the one who had wanted to get back with Brittany, even though she was with Sam now? Why did she have any right to judge Tina's feelings for Blaine?
"Alright Santana, I think that's enough," Quinn said, narrowing her eyes at the woman across the table.
"Hey, I'm just telling it as it is," she said, standing up and walking away from the table. "Good luck with your gay boyfriend, Asian."
Tina let out a sigh of relief as Santana walked away. She turned to Quinn next, pushing a strand of loose hair out of her face. "Did you come here to talk to me about Blaine, too?" she questioned.
Quinn nodded her head. "We're just concerned about you, Tina, that's all. Although Santana's not the best at conveying her emotions." Tina let out a small laugh. "So, are you really in love with Blaine?"
Tina swallowed. "Maybe," she admitted, shifting her gaze from Quinn back to the tablecloth. "Okay, maybe not maybe. Maybe it's a yes." She let out a sigh, feeling tears threatening to fall out of her eyes. She didn't want Quinn to see her cry. "It's not my fault. I didn't try to fall for him. I didn't pick him out of a crowd and decide that I wanted him. It just, you know, happened."
"I understand," Quinn said, smiling softly.
"You do?" Tina asked, looking up at the blonde girl. "Really?"
"I've been in that boat many times," she continued. "Like when I fell for Puck. Or my professor."
Tina's eyes widened. "You were in love with your professor?" she asked. Maybe that was stranger than her crush on Blaine.
Quinn nodded. "He was thirty five and divorcing his wife. I didn't plan on it. It just happened. And it wasn't the healthiest thing for me, either, but I couldn't control it. I understand what it's like for you."
"At least those two were both able to return your affections," sighed Tina. "I've got no chance with Blaine."
"You don't know that for sure," said Quinn, giving a small sympathetic smile.
"He's told me that he's not interested in girls," said Tina, resting her head in her hands. "He likes Sam. I know that, and I still can't seem to get over him. I just keep falling for him even more each day." Tina hated herself for hurting herself like she was.
Quinn placed her hand on Tina's. "Are you sure you really love him?" she asked. "I mean, in sophmore year I thought I loved Puck, then we had sex, and when I got pregnant I realized that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with him." Quinn turned to look at Puck who was sitting at the bar, flirting with one of Ms. Pillsbury's nieces. "At the time I thought I wanted it. He was a bad boy. He was alluring. I can see now that I made the right choice in the end."
Tina let out a small laugh as the girl walked away from Puck, a look that clearly showed she was not impressed planted on her face. "What are you trying to say, Quinn?" she asked, turning her attention back to the blonde.
"Are you sure that you really love Blaine?" Quinn repeated, tilting her head to the side. "Or do you just think you love him?"
"I don't know," Tina admitted. "Right now I feel like I love him. It feels like I'm being punched in the stomach every time I see him admiring Sam or when he says that he's not interested in girls." Didn't that mean that she was in love with him? She had sent him off to Kurt, too, even when she felt like it would kill her. Wasn't there a saying about setting free the thing that you loved most? And wasn't the end to the saying that if it truly loved you, it would come back? That was the part that worried Tina the most.
Quinn nodded as she listened. "How does Blaine make you feel?"
"Important," Tina said, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't even care anymore if Quinn saw her cry. She was done pretending to be strong. "Like I'm wanted and not just there. He makes me feel special and he listens. I feel like with Blaine, I'm actually heard for once."
"Didn't Mike listen to you?" she asked.
Tina shrugged her shoulders. "He did," she replied, "But he didn't make me feel like I was special and different." She thought back to the time that she had finally snapped on Rachel Berry. Mike had reminded her that Rachel was 'one of a kind', implying that Tina was just like everyone else. That she wasn't a star. Blaine had been the one to help her discover her inner-diva, to help her be recognized by the glee club for once in her life.
"Do you think that you just miss Mike?" Quinn suggested. Tina turned to look out at the dancing crowd. She spotted Mike with Marley and Mercedes, the three of them talking and laughing. Tina could feel her heart pang in her chest and she tried her hardest to ignore the feeling. It was over between her and Mike, and independent women did not go crawling back to the ex-boyfriends. She had learned since the break up how much better she was single, yet here she was, pining after Blaine Anderson. So much for progress.
"I don't know," Tina admitted, biting her lip. "Maybe. Sometimes I feel like I'm so much better without him, and other days I miss him a lot." He had been her first love, after all.
"Talk to him," Quinn suggested. "When was the last time you two even spoke? It might be healthy to talk with him about all you're feeling instead of me."
"We haven't talked since Grease," admitted Tina. "And I don't know if I can tell him all this. You're a much better listener."
Quinn chuckled softly. "Thank you," she responded, smiling at Tina, "But now I think it is your turn to listen. Go talk to Mike. I promise, it can only help."
"Are you sure?" Tina asked. She still cared for Blaine. She didn't want to give him up so easily, even if she knew they would never be.
"Look," the blonde said, gesturing to something behind Tina. She turned around and felt her heart drop to her stomach. Blaine and Kurt were hugging. As they broke apart they walked towards the dance floor, hand in hand. The look on Blaine's face gave everything away. It was the same look he had had on his face while Tina and him had been dancing. She knew that look. It was his look of love, something that she would never get to experience for herself. She was second choice again. "He's happy. Why can't you go and at least try to be happy with Mike?"
Tina turned back around to face Quinn. She wiped at her eyes, trying to make it look as though she hadn't been crying. "Thank you," she said, giving Quinn a soft smile. "Why did we never talk like this when we were in glee club together?"
"Because I was never worried about you, I guess," said Quinn, shrugging. "You were always so sure about yourself and you always seemed so right. You seem to have lost yourself, though, and I just wanted to help find the Tina that we all know and love." Tina felt her cheeks grow warm at Quinn's words. "It really is a shame, though, that we didn't speak more."
"There's no reason that we can't start a friendship now, though," Tina suggested. "You're a great girl, Quinn. I'd be proud to call you one of my friends." She didn't generally have very many close friends. Sure, there was the glee club, but she was only close with some of them. Brittany, Blaine and Sam were really the only people at McKinley she spent a lot of time with. Another friend wouldn't hurt Tina in anyway. "Well, I think I'll go put your advice to action."
"Good luck," Quinn said, flashing the girl a thumbs up. Tina nodded and smiled before turning to walk over to Mike, Marley and Mercedes. As their conversation had begun to wrap up the song had changed from a fast paced one to a slower one. Glancing to her right, she noticed Kurt and Blaine dancing together, both of them looking very pleased. She tried to shake off the nagging feeling of jealousy. She had to move any eventually. She'd always know it would never work out, and it was best that she left her feelings for Blaine alone.
The group was still talking as Tina approached them. Marley looked up and gave a small wave, but continued to speak to the other two. At Marley's wave, Mike also looked up. He smiled at Tina. "Uh, hey Mike," she said, feeling her heat beat faster in her chest. "Would you like to dance with me?"
Mike reached down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. "I'd love to."
A/N: I've really started to love Tina even more since the start of season four, so I figured I'd try writing something about her. I've been really interested by the whole Tina/Blaine story line that I thought I'd give this a try. I managed to fit in four of my favourite ships here (Klaine, Tike, Blina and Tuinn) so I'm pretty proud of that. This is my first real Glee fanfiction so I hope you enjoyed it! I'd love to get some reviews so I know how to improve!