AN~ Hello people I don't know, and likely ever will. First I am American, so I am sorry if I slip some American ways of saying things, like chips instead of crisps (is that even right? Got that from Doctor Who…). There are some things I am changing, for one Mary will not be married to John, they will just be friends, and she will also be working for New Scotland Yard. I actually had a few more changes, but I forgot them… sorry. If I remember, then I will tell ya'll in the author's notes. Hey, if any of you can tell me about some of the differences between British sayings and American it would help me a bunch. This stemmed from the '333 ways how to get kicked out from Wal-Mart'. ((((((((((0))))))))))
1. When Sherlock asks for a distraction in a clothing store, John should really think of something else…
"John, wait about five minutes and enter the store, then I need you to distract everyone. The murderer should work here." Sherlock then went into the store and John was left alone. He looked at the small, posh store with tired eyes and all he could think about was the pressing urge to use the loo.
Sherlock and himself had been running around London to catch the murderer of a some politicians cousin, all day, and he was fed up. He hadn't eaten at all, and hasn't gotten a proper night's sleep for three days. And now he had to come up with some big plan for a distraction.
Waiting six minutes, just to piss off Sherlock, he entered the store. Acting like he was looking at some different items in the store, he randomly picked out different items.
Walking to the dressing rooms, he fought the urge to smile. He could practically feel Sherlock's eyes glaring at him, and wondering what his 'idiot' friend was up too. He walked into the dressing room, and threw the items he picked up into the corner, and sat down on the bench that was connected to the wall, and waited a minute for his big 'show'….
"THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"
The small store's idle conversations halted. You could have dropped a pin and heard it.
Knocking on the wall on the right, and trying not to laugh. "Oi, Mate, could you pass some over the top, please?" he said quieter now that he had everyone's attention.
He could hear the man in the next stall sputtering and failing to respond. He could also hear the sound of a body being tackled to the ground, and a triumphant "ha ha!" from a familiar baritone voice.
"John? You can come out now!"
Smiling I was tempted to reply, 'but I'm not done yettttt!', but instead left the small room and watched the faces around me varied from humor to disgust. "Next time John, use something else as a distraction. It's bad for business." With a tiny smirk, and that was that.
2. Anderson is quite idiotic when drunk (even more so than usual)…
All you need to know was that he was kicked out for public indecency.
Now if you would excuse me, I need to go wash out my eyes again.
3. John is temperamental about his height…
Who knew that such a small, hrmm… compact man could floor such a big man. Or get so mad about the comment that he could drown in a kiddy pool. I think we all learned a lesson.
4. Never mess with the signs for the women's and men's restrooms…
You would think after years of working there Greg would know which is the men's and women's restroom, right? Wrong. He learned that though when Sally nearly broke his nose.
5. Never question the lengths that Sherlock will go to prove a point…
How he and John TP'ed the entire Scotland Yard, was a mystery… even when there's people inside there 24/7. The only evidence that they did it was the argument between Sherlock and Greg about the abilities of Scotland Yard. They couldn't be charged, but they were banned, for a week.
6. John really can be an idiot at times… or maybe it's because he hasn't gotten his tea yet…
Sherlock, in a fit of boredom, super glued €2 to the floor and watched John try to pick it up for a few minutes.
7. Sherlock is stubborn, but Mary is even more so…
"No."
"You know he's going to call for me in about five minutes, right? So it would make sense to lets me in now and save some time."
"Still no."
"Oh come on! Do you or don't you want this murder solved?!"
"Yes."
"Finally you see reason, let me pass."
"No."
"What is wrong with you woman?! You just agreed to let me come in!"
"No, I was agreeing with you that I want the murder solved, but, you are still not allowed in."
"Come on! Liste-"
::Mary? Could you send a car down for Sherlock and John? We need their assiatance::
::Sure Greg, they're here right now, I will send then up.::
"Alrighty then boys, your free to go!" she said with a smile. Moving out of the door way she previously was blocking.
Sherlock just groaned, and John waved to her as he passed.
8. When Sherlock says 'vacation', he mean 'there's a really interesting murder, and I want to be a part of it, that happens not to be in London'…
"John! Pack a bag, we are leaving within the hour!" Sherlock shouted from down stairs.
John's footsteps could be heard from the living space, where Sherlock was currently laying on the couch. When the blondes head popped in the room, Sherlock shifted so he could look him in the eye.
"Sherlock, what are you going on about?"
"We are going to Florida."
"Wait, what?"
"Jawn! Don't be so dull, and don't make me repeat myself, you know I hate it!"
"…Alright, why are we going to Florida?"
"No time for that! Get packed, the taxi should be here soon."
The grumbling of the Doctor could barely be heard, but it was along the lines of "sodding bastard" and "Bloody Sherlock Holmes".
Because of the lack of sleep, Sherlock fell asleep on the plane, cutting off any questions about anything to do with Florida. He also ignored John on the way to the hotel. When he was finally ready to leave his mind palace, and talk once more, John was fast asleep.
After John got back from the small café joined to hotel the where staying at, Sherlock immediately grabbed his arm and strode off to a taxi once more.
"Sherlock?"
"Yes John?"
"The next time you want me to pack my bags, I'm going to punch you in the face." "You won't"
"Oh, yes Sherlock I will. I will also be punching you in the face when we get down from here"
"… I'm sorry?"
"Why in the hell is that a question? Here we are, hanging from a sodding wall, about to be killed because you wanted to pretend to be a drug lord for a case… the case that we had to fly to Florida for and you couldn't even tell me!"
9. When Mycroft makes a mistake, he blows it up…
Basically, Mycroft actually was human for once, and screwed up. He was not happy.
So guess what? That's right; he destroyed the evidence by blowing it up.
Even though it was just a door he walked in to.
That's nice to know, Sherlock shoots things when he's bored, and apparently Mycroft likes explosions…
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- …Wow, I'm finished… That's an accomplishment, when you type like John. Literally, hunt and peck. . Well, if you have an idea, please tell me about it, I will try to make it possible, I mean look at some of these… I just did whatever comes to mind. Please review; if no one really likes these, then I see no point in continuing. ~DJ MP3 out peps! XD
edit, stupid thing did something... Sorry if you saw what happened beforehand... He he? If you didn't, don't mind this...