Friends

Remus woke up, his covers tangled in such a fashion that he didn't know how he did it, and opened his eyes to what was sure to be another dreary day.

Sure, it was summer holiday. And yeah, his parents weren't home. Yep, it was most definitely his fifteenth birthday. But these things didn't exactly make you happy if you were Remus Lupin and you happened to be a….

He didn't even like saying the word in his head. He knew it was childish, maybe even pathetic, but he just couldn't do it. Dwelling on it just made him more depressed than he usually was in the summer months.

Summers for him were never pleasant. James, Sirius, and Peter were the only true friends he had. But he couldn't hang out with any of them this summer, for whatever reason. James was on holiday with his parents in Majorca until September. Sirius was stuck in London, his parents never allowing him to hang out with his "impure" friends. Peter's mother was too protective of her son to allow him to go so far away from home, alone, just to visit a friend. His parents worked all day, and he had no siblings. All of this led to a pretty lonely summer.

Usually, he tried to make the most of his alone time, but today was his fifteenth birthday, and he was more miserable than ever. His parents couldn't afford to stay home to celebrate, or even buy him more than one present. That present laid on Remus' nightstand, unlikely to ever be touched.

Just for something to do, he stood up and walked to his parents' room. Maybe he would find something interesting, though he doubted it. Looking around the room with blank eyes, not lingering on any particular thing, he suddenly saw something unusual looking sticking out from under the bed. As he bent down to pick it up, he realized it was a gun. His mother made his father buy it after some raccoons tried to get into their garden. Remus knew very little about Muggle technology, despite his mother being Muggleborn, so he couldn't tell what kind of a gun it was.

He picked it up gently, not wanting to set it off accidently. Or maybe that's what he did want, as long as it hit himself.

He wasn't suicidal. He didn't want to die. But he was suddenly seized with the insane desire to shoot everything in sight, one bullet after another until they were all gone. He hated that house, empty even when his parents were there, just plain desolate when it was only him. Bang, bang, bang—was that how the shots would ring out? Or was it something less dramatic? He could see himself shooting the window, shattering the glass into minuscule pieces, thoroughly frightening the neighbors. Never before had he felt closer to the wolf in his human state.

All the frustration, the loneliness, the state where he felt absolutely nothing—all had bubbled up inside him over the weeks, until finally it had became a boiling rage that had never before appeared in Remus. He thought that if he could just escape the house that in his mind had been holding him prisoner, he could finally find happiness again.

There was only one problem—the gun was unloaded, and there were no bullets in sight.

Remus threw it on the ground with much more force than was necessary, and then hurled himself onto the unmade bed, head buried in the sheets. He let out a moan—of despair? Frustration? Pure insanity?—and beat his fists against the mattress.

"No one should have to feel like this on their birthday," he muttered to himself, "Heck, no one should have to feel like this any day."

Perhaps it was stupid to rely on other people for happiness. But Remus just found it so hard to create happiness for himself when for three nights every month, he transformed into something completely inhuman.

Though that was far from the first time that thought had crossed his mind, he decided that he should at least try to be happy. Not for his friends or for his parents—just for the sake of being happy. The madness had to stop somewhere.

Pulling himself into a sitting position on the bed, he looked in the mirror and tried to smile. It might convince his parents—who had more pressing problems than worrying about why their son's smile looked so fake, but it certainly wouldn't convince his friends. In his mind's eye, he recreated the scene of Sirius unsuccessfully flirting with Alice Fitzgerald, the prettiest girl in their year, and Remus actually managed to crack a smile. Leave it to Sirius to be the one to cheer him up.

Now in a slightly more cheerful mood, he decided that he felt like eating something. They didn't have much, but he knew his parents had splurged on ice cream for dessert later that night—surely there wouldn't be any harm in having some now.

He walked down the stairs briskly, and as he entered the measly kitchen, he had to blink several times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Through the single window in the kitchen, which had been left open since the morning, Remus could clearly see three owls flying off to who-knows-where. Not wanting to get his hopes up too quickly, he slowly moved his eyes down until they reached the table, which was hosting what were obviously three brightly wrapped gifts. The one to the far left was thin and appeared to be light-weight, wrapped in nothing but what looked like shreds of the Daily Prophet. The second was bigger and thicker, this time wrapped with green paper and a silver bow. The third puzzled Remus—it was small and completely spherical, rolling around the other two presents, and was wrapped with maroon paper and tied with an untidy golden bow.

At first approaching cautiously, Remus suddenly couldn't wait anymore and rushed to the gifts and tore the wrapping off as rigorously as one boy could. The first one was from Peter—a magical comic book series about the adventures of a teenage vampire. A note was attached upon it, reading: Wasn't sure what to get you, but I hope you like this—wouldn't it be cool if one of us was a vampire or something? Bring it to school next term so we can discuss it, it's an awesome series. Sucks that we can't see each other over the holidays, though. Oh well, I guess school will come quickly enough. Have a good summer! ~Peter

The second gift was from Sirius, this time a book on how to make your own Potion, since Potions was his favorite subject. Happy Birthday, Remy! I know you can make a lot more out of this than I can. Accidently burnt all of my brother's robes trying—that's something, at least! Sorry about the wrapping—only kind we have around here, and trust me, I spent forever searching. Stupid Slytherin purists. Luckily, you're probably having a better summer than I am! I want to hear about it when we get back, okay? I'll try not to sulk about how lousy mine was too much. Can't wait to see you! ~Sirius

The third gift came from James, and honestly not knowing what to expect, opened the present with a bit more hesitation than the others. As he pulled the sphere apart, something burst out of it that caused Remus to jump back. It was a broomstick—a shining, gleaming broomstick literally jumped out of the tiny box. Hey, Remus—I know you've always wanted one of these and you couldn't afford it, so I thought I'd pick this up for your birthday. I had my parents charm the box to make it bigger on the inside—couldn't give away the surprise, could I? It's not too great here in Majorca—unless you like lounging around on beaches all the time and talk to other tourists about the latest gossip, which mum and dad seem to enjoy. Man, I almost wish Snivellus was here; at least I could have some fun messing with him! I'd much rather be hanging out with you and the guys, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I've got to go; see you at school!

Remus didn't know quite how to react; he simply stood there, unable to move his eye away from the three gifts stationed on the table. He didn't know which gift affected him more. The thought that Peter liked him enough to share something he obviously enjoyed with Remus was something he would have never expected. The fact that Sirius would even venture near a bookstore was just as shocking. And the broomstick—James probably didn't think it was a big deal, since he was used to having money all of his life. To him, it was just doing something nice for a friend's birthday. But Remus had seen James' face as he rode on his broom in Quidditch matches—it was a look of pure bliss, and freedom. Isn't that what Remus had been longing for all summer? No, the gifts of his friends—though amazing and unexpected—could not keep him completely happy for the whole summer. Nothing really could, because they didn't know that he was a werewolf. But that did not in any way lessen their value. At the very least, they would distract from the misery. And these gifts were quite more than the very least.

The second genuine smile for the day crawled onto his face, and this time, it didn't fade away.

"Friends," he breathed to no one, but relished in the sound of it, "Is there anything in life with more value?"

A/N: First fanfic I've written/worked on in quite a long time! I hope you enjoyed it! And yes, I kind of ship Sirius/Remus. And no, I couldn't write a fanfic without mentioning Snape. :D