A/N: Tumblr feeds my crack!fic addiction apparently. That can't be healthy.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
It was a slow, boring Saturday morning as Rachel sits down at the dining room table by herself to eat her cereal. Her dads had already left for work, leaving the small girl in all her lonesome. For once, the girl didn't mind being by herself. It gave the brunette time to think about the Glee club's newest topic of the week: Tike, Asian Fusion, Asian Persuasion nicknames all courtesy of Brittany, of course… and whatever else you wanted to call them.
Rachel wasn't sure how the couple's relationship was brought up in conversation during the Glee club meeting, but it somehow already got her thinking. Surely it wasn't possible that a high school couple like them could possibly stay that much in love and in devotion to one another? There has to be a reason why they've stayed together for so long.
The brunette perks up when she hears the doorbell to her house ring. Only two people would decide to come over to her house this early without any invitation. Rachel places her empty bowl in the sink and approaches the door.
"Quinn! Finn! I'm glad you guys came over." Rachel moves out of the way to make room for her two friends. She didn't know how but after the whole love triangle fiasco, the three of them had become the best of friends. Life was definitely full of surprises.
"Do you have any food, Rachel? I didn't eat breakfast yet." Finn asks, patting his growling stomach. Looking up at the taller boy, Rachel had no idea what she was thinking when she thought Finn and her were perfect for one another.
"They're in the pantry, Finn." The brunette answers.
"Cool." The tall boy proceeds to the kitchen.
Afterwards, the two girls relax by the couch, starting the day off with Saturday morning cartoons. From the corner of her eye, Rachel sees Quinn texting someone with a small smile on her face. "Who're you texting?"
"Oh, it's just Tina and Mike about the party. They said that they wanted the other members to arrive at 12. You're going too, right?" The blonde asks.
"Of course, I even bought the cake for everyone!"
Quinn nods in approval. "Sounds great."
The brunette sighs to unwind a bit, making a move to get closer to the blonde… only to be practically pushed out of the way when Finn squeezes in between the two girls to sit on the couch. Quinn scowls at her friend. She loved the guy but why did he just have to be such a cockblocker and at the worst times too?
"I love this episode!" Finn says laughing at the odd cartoon of the T-Rex and a Jew kissing each other. He doesn't even sense the glares being directed at him at the moment.
Rachel frowns to herself. Maybe next time…
However, not even a minute passes when Finn abruptly gets up with a confident look on his face. Quinn and Rachel glanced at each other, knowing that whatever their friend was about to tell them would probably be bad.
"Guys, I have a great idea. We should go to Mike's house before the party!" Finn says excitedly.
"Why would we do that?" Quinn raises an eyebrow in doubt.
"Think about it, guys… Tina is probably going to Mike's house to help him set up, right? We should go too to see how they act outside of school!"
Quinn does not look the least bit convinced. "Finn, do you remember last time Rachel and I agreed to one of your plans?"
The tall boy winces. The three had actually been arrested that last time they decided to go with one of his brilliant plans.
"We had to be bailed by Santana Lopez… Santana Lopez, Finn…" Rachel shakes her head in disappointment at the memory. "She uses it against me in any way she can and I can barely look her in the eye because of it!"
"…I know my plans aren't the best… but this time's different! Really! What's the worst that could happen? Mike and Tina would definitely appreciate the help and we'll find out their relationship's… success… secret thing… who's with me?" He asks his two friends.
The short brunette sighs. "Fine… only because I'm actually curious as to what makes their relation so… stable…" She gives in.
Quinn looks back and forth between the two brunettes before conceding as well. "I'm only doing this because you two will probably need help."
"Alright! Let's go, guys!" Finn says running outside to Rachel's car.
The two girls go outside, dragging their feet on the pavement, not expecting what they would find at Mike's house.
The short ride to Mike's house gave Rachel time to ponder about the possible answers that they would find at his house. Maybe the Chang family had some sort of ancient green tea recipe or something...
"We're here!" Finn says barely containing his excitement.
The three friends head to the door when they suddenly hear the sound of glass breaking. They look at each other in panic before running toward the door. At least they knew the Chang's kept a spare key under the mat.
Quinn opens the door, all three expecting some sort of burglar or anything else horrific. What they didn't expect was an angry Tina Cohen-Chang sitting right on top of a struggling Mike Chang. They were stunned. Tina always seemed like such a nice and meek girl. The Asian girl in front of them right now just screamed wild and crazy.
"Say it! Admit it! You know it's true!" Tina screeches. The three flinch at the fuming tone. What could they possibly be arguing about?
Mike gains the upper hand, now ending up on top of his… girlfriend? Just what exactly was going on? "Never! It's horrible, disgusting, unhealthy and… I'll never give in!"
Tina grabs onto Mike's spiky locks, causing the boy to scream in agony. "You know my ship will always prevail! It's just completely delusional that you would even think differently!"
Finn looks to Quinn and Rachel, a puzzled look on his face. Ship? What's a ship? He needed some clarification over here. However, the two girls looked just as confused as he did.
"Finchel is endgame, canon and… just superior to all the other ships!" She screams as though the volume of her voice would convince Mike to love the so-called 'ship'.
"You don't even have valid evidence for your ship! They don't even love each other!"
Finally, Mike is able to pin down Tina. The two Asians stare into each other's deep brown eyes. Mike pauses for a moment before getting his act together. "Let me tell you, something Tina… Faberry is probably the best thing that has ever happened… ever. They care about each other… they make each other better people… they'd do anything to help each other... also they're totally hot together like Brittany says."
He pauses again, taking a much needed breath of air. "…But even if your couple is canon and 'endgame', Tina… mine will always come back on top…"
Tina could feel her heart beating harshly in her chest as she stares at her boyfriend with loving eyes. Without warning, she grabs Mike's collar and captures his lips in a passionate kiss.
Still in Mike's house looking on as outsiders, Rachel, Quinn and Finn watch on awkwardly as Tina wraps her legs around the boy's waist, nearly forcing her tongue down his throat. The three run out of Mike's house quickly when the scene began to look like it was progressing to be something more… intimate.
Finn closes the door, locking it and putting the key back in a safe place. He stares at the door for a few more seconds before looking back at his friends with a weak smile. "Well… at least we found out how they stay together for so long…"
"…Yeah… with some weird hate-make up sex… thing…" Quinn grumbles to herself, still unsure about what she was actually staring at.
"I need more sleep…" Rachel complains to herself as she heads to her car.
"Agreed." Quinn follows behind her.
However, Finn stays behind for a while as he glances back and forth between the door and the two girls in confusion. "Guys?" He asks as his two friends turn around. "What's Finchel?" He asks.
Rachel shrugs. "I don't know… but it doesn't sound like something I want to be a part of." She answers. "It must be horrible if it causes Tina to act like that, so it's probably not too appealing."
Finn and Quinn grimace, agreeing with the shorter girl. "Finchel definitely sounds stupid then." Finn says simply. "If I had to choose, I think I'd be a Faberry shipper anyway, Mike made them sound hot together."
"Agreed." Rachel says.
Quinn shrugs. "I don't know guys; maybe we should give Finchel a chance if we ever find out what it is…"
Finn and Rachel stop in their tracks to stare at Quinn with grimaces on their faces. "I don't know why but that just sounds so wrong coming from you, Quinn…" Rachel mumbles to herself.
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