A Goodnight's Kiss
It was a quiet night last night. Everyone in the castle was sleeping, which meant I could finally do what I had been trying really hard to work up the courage for. I always try to control my powers, as hard as it always is, but this week I have been working extra hard, making certain I'd be safe, even if it was just for a few minutes. That was all the time I needed. All I had to light the dark hallways was the tiny candle from my desk. I usually only light it when I write, but this time it had a very special purpose. With the candle in my hand, I slowly opened up the door; every creak sounding like booming crashes of thunder. I was scared. If I got caught, oh… that would be so bad. Mama and Papa would be so angry with me. But I had to do this. I just had to. Just this once.
I slowly made my way down the halls, nothing but the tiny glow leading my way. It has been about a year, I think, but I'll never forget the way back to my old room. Never. Because that's where…. That's where my sister and I used to sleep. In the same room. Under the same stars and moonlight shining through our bedroom window. As much as her snoring used to annoy me then, it would now be the sweetest lullaby to my ears. Oh, I miss her so much.
I was almost there. My heart ached when I saw that old, familiar door. Our door… to our room. I stood there for many minutes, trying so hard to work up the courage to open it. A doorknob had never been so scary, staring at me in such an intimidating way. Very slowly, with my gloved hand, I twisted the doorknob, slowly opening up to the room.
There she was.
My Anna. My dear, sweet, perfect Anna, sleeping peacefully in her bed. My heart hurt… For a moment, I almost became too scared and ran away. How could I be getting so close to her? It was dangerous… But I tried reminding myself how hard I've been working and how badly I needed this one moment with her. Quietly, I stepped over to her bed, not making the tiniest sound.
She had changed. Not a whole lot, but a little. She was a little taller now. Wasn't quite so chubby anymore, losing some of her baby fat. Her face was facing mine, making me a little nervous, but at the same time I loved seeing her sweet little face again. All of those cute little freckles. The tiny lips that I had seen smile so many smiles. Her gently closed large, blue eyes that had once looked at me with so much joy. I took it in. Every moment of it. Every breath. Every snore. Every whimper. It didn't matter. It was all like the most beautiful music to my ears.
Very carefully, I set my candle on the nightstand by her bed; the light flickering across Anna's peaceful expression. I watched her for a little while, appreciating just how perfect my little sister was. She deserved so much more than me. She really did. That's when I noticed that she still had that mark upon her head; the proof of the terrible, awful thing I did to her that night… I never like to think about it, but seeing that streak caused all of the memories to come back to me. But no, this wasn't a time to be sad. I'm sad all of the time and that won't change. Things are how they are, and this was my only chance to be with her. I wasn't going to ruin it.
Slowly, in the lowest voice I could, I started speaking to her. "Anna… I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I can't be here for you anymore. I know you miss me and don't understand why this all happened. I miss you too. I wish I could tell you everything. I wish… I could make everything right again… but I just can't. I'm trying, though. I'm trying really hard." I stopped for a minute, taking in the fading moment. I knew I couldn't go back there and do this again. It was too risky. No. This was it. My only chance. I looked at her lovingly, wishing so much that I could just throw my arms around her. But, I couldn't. So I did what I could do and talked to her some more. "You're such a special girl. You're everything I wish I could be. I hope you understand that I still care about you so much, Anna. I will always care about you…"
I wasn't completely sure, but I really think there was a little smile on her face that wasn't there before. I knew she wasn't awake, but I think that she might have heard me in her dreams. That made me so happy knowing, that maybe, she'd wake up and know just how much I love her. Smiling, my heart full of warmth that I hadn't felt in so long, I continued. "I'm sorry we can't be friends anymore. We used to have so much fun together… but maybe, we could be like that again someday. I promise, I am going to try so hard to control my powers. Then we could be friends again… Then I could tell you that everything's going to be ok…" The light continued to flicker against her, lighting up her already shining expression. She looked so happy. So at peace.
When I realized that I had already spent plenty of time in there, probably longer than I should have, I prepared to say my final words to her. I couldn't keep the tears from my eyes any longer. My voice cracked a little. "You be a good girl, okay? You be strong. I know you will get through this. You're Anna. You will grow up to be somebody really, really special. And I will be so proud of you." Very carefully, with my hands safely behind my back, I leaned down and gave her a kiss on top of her little head. And then, I said the last thing I wanted to say to her, not knowing the next time I'd be able to tell her again.
"I love you."
This time I knew it. I saw it. She smiled… She really smiled. She really was dreaming about me. The feelings went through me, making my whole body feel warm. Strange… my powers were also feeling the most controlled they have in forever. No tingles. No pressure. No headache. Or maybe I was just so distracted that I just didn't notice those things. Feeling happier than I have in the longest time, I quietly picked up my candle and made my way over to the door. Looking back one last time, my little sister now lit only by the moon and starlight, I smiled. "Good night, Anna. I hope I get to dream of you too."
"Elsa? Hey… Elsa?"
A familiar voice, calling from behind her bedroom door, quickly brought Elsa out of her trance. Her attention abruptly robbed from what she had been occupied with, she responded, "Yes? What is it?"
"I need your help finding something nice to wear for tonight. I would do it myself… but you know, remember last year? Oh boy… Think you could help me?"
"Of course, Anna. I'll be out in a minute." She peered down once more at the book that lay in her lap; her old diary. The collection of the events from her lonely childhood, which played out more like a sad story book rather than a typical journal. She carefully blotted the tears from the page of the single entry that had touched her heart beyond belief. With Anna having been back in her life for several years now, she sometimes forgot how lonely it had been before. That one night was one that she would certainly never forget; giving the last good night kiss she would give to her sister in over 12 years.
Elsa stood up from her bed, carefully wiping the tears from her recently painted eyes, and placed the diary back into her safe. It pained her to read it, but every once in a while, she had found it necessary. A part of her felt that it was good to be reminded of her painful past, so that she would never stop striving to be the best she could be and to cherish every moment that was now so graciously gifted to her. Feeling emotionally renewed, a smile spawned upon the Queen's once saddened expression as she made her way out the door to spend time with her dear, sweet, perfect Anna.
A/N: Hi there! ^^ This was just a small one-shot about an idea I've had for a while now. I figured that, over all of those years Anna and Elsa were separated, Elsa may just sneak out one night, or maybe even several nights, to go and visit her sister. I also imagine she would have quite a lot to get off of her chest, and this was just something she would have to do. How else would she have been able to somewhat keep her sanity? It was a challenge, being in 9 year old Elsa's POV, to write accordingly, but I hope I pulled it off fairly well. Please review and let me know what you think! :)