James made his way into Apt. 2J with a sigh. It had been a long day and he just wanted to relax. Especially with the fact that Logan, the boy he had a massive, huge, ginormous crush on was hanging out with his on and off again girlfriend. James often prided himself in not being the jealous type. However, if he wasn't, what was the burning feeling in his gut he couldn't get rid of? He was sure it was just the aftermath of that taco he bought from that shady salesman. When that theory was shot to hell, he was absolutely certain it was just being nervous about going to the doctor. After he got his check-up with a perfect mark of health and his stomach was hurting even worse was when he realized that he jealous.
With that revelation, the confused boy decided to take a well deserved nap. He went to his messy room and threw himself on his bed, falling asleep within 5 minutes. James dreamt his usual dream; Logan and him being alone together, just talking. The more he had this dream, this dream of Logan actually reciprocating his feelings, the more he denied his own love for the other boy. It was a vicious cycle. The dreams never stopped so the denial was endless. Even though he knew he was jealous of Camille, he still felt he wasn't worthy to love a person like Logan. Logan, the boy who gave up his own time to help people with their homework or to understand a simple math problem. James was just a boy who thought too much about himself and cared too much about his outer appearance... but for some reason Logan would still talk to him and be his best friend. That was part of the reason he loved him.
When James awoke from his perfect sleep he heard a door creak. He rubbed his eyes and stumbled out of his room to the kitchen to get a glass of water. While he was getting a cup he noticed a dark grey cardigan flung carelessly over the couch. James knew it was Logan's sweater, but he hadn't heard anyone come in. Then he remembered he was sleeping like a rock. Oh. He quietly made his way to Logan's room and saw the door was cracked open a bit. When he looked in he knew it was the biggest mistake he could ever make. Logan and Camille were on the bed, with Camille on top of Logan, his shirt halfway unbuttoned. James realized what was going on, but he couldn't stop looking. The boy he loved proceeded to unzip the dress of the girl he was envious of. James knew this would happen someday. He knew one day Logan would give in to his on and off again girlfriend's advances. Then he wondered if this was the first time. Had they done this before? Once, twice, or even more than that? When James finally pulled himself away from the picture of his nightmare he felt sick to his stomach, but not of the jealousy he'd been fighting the whole day. It was anger. Sadness. Resentment towards himself for letting himself fall for his best friend. James questioned if he would ever be able to look at Logan with the same adoration as before.
But he couldn't help and do just that.