Hello! Well, this is my very first Michiru fic. I have
always been vaguely disturbed by her character, and
I try to explain it here, from her perspective.
Let me know what you think. ^.^
Intermission
by: Usa Serenity
I slowly lower the bow into my lap and close my eyes. The silence that follows is so
pure, so sweet, that I am loathe to hear it broken by the single clap that soon
thunders in my ears as the applause that always follows. I sit here, eyes still closed
and try to come back into myself, try to leave behind the wave of emotion that I ride
whenever I play. It's time. I open my eyes, stand and bow formally, that slight smile
on my lips. I walk off the stage as the lights come up and the chimes ring twice.
Intermission.
She is waiting for me, like always, at the edge of the stage. She hands me the customary
single yellow rose, and I take it, still walking towards my dressing room. The pale blue
silk of the long full skirt I wear rustles against my legs soothingly. I like flowing ,
feminine clothes. She likes them too, but only on me.
The dressing room is dark and cool, just how I like it. I turn on one dim lamp, and sit
on an ecru colored upholstered chair. She follows me in and closes the door. There is no
need for words. We are in tune with one another, and can sit in silence very comfortably.
She knows I only speak out of necessity during intermission. She knows I like to
contemplate the first half of my performance, painstakingly criticizing my work thus far.
I was a little flat during the allegro portion. Not enough for the audience to notice,
but enough for me. I lost too much speed in the fourth bar of the second piece, making
the whole piece sluggish and awkward. I strive for perfection. It usually isn't
attainable, at least not by my standards.
I can feel my mind drifting to other things, a rare occurrence. I wonder if I played and
performed in my former life? I have very few memories of that time. I wonder if my
musical talent was inherited from one of my original parents, or if it is something that
only exists now? If that is the case, will I be able to play once the future arrives? I
don't like to think about these things. I can feel the knot of anxiety forming in the
pit of my stomach, and I must have grimaced slightly because she is looking at me
harder now.
I have to control these emotions. I don't want her to worry. Some people assume that I
am the maternal, caring, emotional one in my relationship with Haruka, but it's just the
opposite. It is she who comforts me, who carries my burdens when I can't bear them. It
is me who hides my feelings until I'm at the breaking point. I have heard others refer
to me as an ice queen. I'm no queen, but I can feel the cold building up inside my heart.
If it weren't for Haruka, I probably would have destroyed myself long ago. My heart
would have been so hard and frozen that even she couldn't thaw it, and that would have
meant the end of me.
I give her a reassuring smile now. I can feel her relief. It is almost tangible. She
worries about me all the time.
I wonder about the future often. I have a suspicion that we will forget our time here
now, and remember clearly our past lives when Crystal Tokyo comes to pass. Setsuna won't
confirm this to me, but I can read her eyes fairly well.
I hope I played back then.
I hope I had Haruka.
I hope this life is not just another intermission.
There it is, the soft knock at the door signaling the end of my reverie. I smile and
gather my instrument and give Haruka a quick hug and a kiss. She seems surprised by
this, as it is usually she who initiates affection. Her eyes look confused, alarmed. I
place a gentle finger upon her lips and smile, and I see her eyes clear. It's enough of
an explanation for now.
The chimes ring twice and the lights dim in time with their musical signal. I rush towards
the stage that is mine for another hour, in this life at least. The applause swells and
I can feel it's affects almost like a drug. I spread out my skirt and sit gracefully. I
try to search the audience, but the lights are too bright.
Wait... There.
She is here, and I know the others are with her. They never leave her now,
always protecting their princess. Her aura is the only one that is brighter than the
stage lights, and I can see her face clearly. There is a childlike wonder in her
expression, and I know my music has touched her in some way. I can appreciate her
innocence now, here, but not on the battlefield, where such naivete can kill. It is
difficult for me to accept her as my monarch, but I know I will have to someday. I've
paused too long, lost in my thoughts, and Haruka is giving me that hard look again. I
raise my bow and begin to play. The music washes over my like an anesthetic. Taking away
my fear and doubt and uncertainties. I feel the wave approaching and let it take me
willingly. This wave, this musical wave of emotion is the only thing I can feel clearly.
Even with Haruka, it's like my heart is covered with gauze. I hope I was not this
unfeeling in my previous existence, because I don't know if I can handle this for an
eternity. Sometimes, my lack of emotion is an asset. Completing my first mission here
was easier without a conscious to get in the way. I watched Haruka struggle with hers,
and became envious for a while, but then realized how much better off I was. I only
truly miss my heart after I play, because then the lack of emotion is so profound, so
obviously absent.
I wonder if I am defective in some way, and I miss a note. A quick glance towards the
edge of the stage confirms that Haruka heard it also. Then I catch her eye, out in the
audience. She looks straight through me with such intensity, that I have to concentrate
to keep playing. Her eyes are full of understanding, and I know she knows.
I close my eyes now, and let the thoughts melt away. The music, only the music fills my
mind, my body, my mostly empty heart, and I pray.
Please don't let this life be just an intermission.
always been vaguely disturbed by her character, and
I try to explain it here, from her perspective.
Let me know what you think. ^.^
Intermission
by: Usa Serenity
I slowly lower the bow into my lap and close my eyes. The silence that follows is so
pure, so sweet, that I am loathe to hear it broken by the single clap that soon
thunders in my ears as the applause that always follows. I sit here, eyes still closed
and try to come back into myself, try to leave behind the wave of emotion that I ride
whenever I play. It's time. I open my eyes, stand and bow formally, that slight smile
on my lips. I walk off the stage as the lights come up and the chimes ring twice.
Intermission.
She is waiting for me, like always, at the edge of the stage. She hands me the customary
single yellow rose, and I take it, still walking towards my dressing room. The pale blue
silk of the long full skirt I wear rustles against my legs soothingly. I like flowing ,
feminine clothes. She likes them too, but only on me.
The dressing room is dark and cool, just how I like it. I turn on one dim lamp, and sit
on an ecru colored upholstered chair. She follows me in and closes the door. There is no
need for words. We are in tune with one another, and can sit in silence very comfortably.
She knows I only speak out of necessity during intermission. She knows I like to
contemplate the first half of my performance, painstakingly criticizing my work thus far.
I was a little flat during the allegro portion. Not enough for the audience to notice,
but enough for me. I lost too much speed in the fourth bar of the second piece, making
the whole piece sluggish and awkward. I strive for perfection. It usually isn't
attainable, at least not by my standards.
I can feel my mind drifting to other things, a rare occurrence. I wonder if I played and
performed in my former life? I have very few memories of that time. I wonder if my
musical talent was inherited from one of my original parents, or if it is something that
only exists now? If that is the case, will I be able to play once the future arrives? I
don't like to think about these things. I can feel the knot of anxiety forming in the
pit of my stomach, and I must have grimaced slightly because she is looking at me
harder now.
I have to control these emotions. I don't want her to worry. Some people assume that I
am the maternal, caring, emotional one in my relationship with Haruka, but it's just the
opposite. It is she who comforts me, who carries my burdens when I can't bear them. It
is me who hides my feelings until I'm at the breaking point. I have heard others refer
to me as an ice queen. I'm no queen, but I can feel the cold building up inside my heart.
If it weren't for Haruka, I probably would have destroyed myself long ago. My heart
would have been so hard and frozen that even she couldn't thaw it, and that would have
meant the end of me.
I give her a reassuring smile now. I can feel her relief. It is almost tangible. She
worries about me all the time.
I wonder about the future often. I have a suspicion that we will forget our time here
now, and remember clearly our past lives when Crystal Tokyo comes to pass. Setsuna won't
confirm this to me, but I can read her eyes fairly well.
I hope I played back then.
I hope I had Haruka.
I hope this life is not just another intermission.
There it is, the soft knock at the door signaling the end of my reverie. I smile and
gather my instrument and give Haruka a quick hug and a kiss. She seems surprised by
this, as it is usually she who initiates affection. Her eyes look confused, alarmed. I
place a gentle finger upon her lips and smile, and I see her eyes clear. It's enough of
an explanation for now.
The chimes ring twice and the lights dim in time with their musical signal. I rush towards
the stage that is mine for another hour, in this life at least. The applause swells and
I can feel it's affects almost like a drug. I spread out my skirt and sit gracefully. I
try to search the audience, but the lights are too bright.
Wait... There.
She is here, and I know the others are with her. They never leave her now,
always protecting their princess. Her aura is the only one that is brighter than the
stage lights, and I can see her face clearly. There is a childlike wonder in her
expression, and I know my music has touched her in some way. I can appreciate her
innocence now, here, but not on the battlefield, where such naivete can kill. It is
difficult for me to accept her as my monarch, but I know I will have to someday. I've
paused too long, lost in my thoughts, and Haruka is giving me that hard look again. I
raise my bow and begin to play. The music washes over my like an anesthetic. Taking away
my fear and doubt and uncertainties. I feel the wave approaching and let it take me
willingly. This wave, this musical wave of emotion is the only thing I can feel clearly.
Even with Haruka, it's like my heart is covered with gauze. I hope I was not this
unfeeling in my previous existence, because I don't know if I can handle this for an
eternity. Sometimes, my lack of emotion is an asset. Completing my first mission here
was easier without a conscious to get in the way. I watched Haruka struggle with hers,
and became envious for a while, but then realized how much better off I was. I only
truly miss my heart after I play, because then the lack of emotion is so profound, so
obviously absent.
I wonder if I am defective in some way, and I miss a note. A quick glance towards the
edge of the stage confirms that Haruka heard it also. Then I catch her eye, out in the
audience. She looks straight through me with such intensity, that I have to concentrate
to keep playing. Her eyes are full of understanding, and I know she knows.
I close my eyes now, and let the thoughts melt away. The music, only the music fills my
mind, my body, my mostly empty heart, and I pray.
Please don't let this life be just an intermission.