Kira loved almost everything about Odo. She loved that underneath his rough edges, there was a warm creature underneath. She loved his expressive blue eyes set deep in a sculpted, mask-like face. She wondered if all Changelings had blue eyes. The Female Changeling had them, Laas had them. When she strained to remember if the other Changelings that had walked out of the Link on the Founders' home planet had blue eyes as well, though, her memory was fuzzy. It didn't matter. Odo's eyes weren't soulless and dull. There was life behind them that had been absent in others of his kind. She loved his gravelly voice and so many other things. There really wasn't much that she could complain about.
One thing she didn't love was his annoying habit of watching her eat. He enjoyed it for some bizarre reason, and she would never understand why. She wanted to spend time with him, of course, but he had no reason to eat. He was there for her company, not for sustenance. He liked conversation as much as she, but he would stare as she chewed her food or drank a beverage. It made her blush to the tips of her ears and made her so self-conscious. She was hyper-aware of how disgusting the act of eating could be. Changelings especially must find the whole thing nauseating. Odo acted as though it was some kind of interesting show. She wasn't a rude or messy eater by any means. She was taught table manners as a child. She rarely had all the necessary eating utensils in the displacement camps during the Occupation, but one of her few memories of her mother was being instructed to chew with her mouth closed. Still…
She tried to take a delicate bite of a fruit from her plate. Its juices burst and trickled a little from the corner of her mouth. Mortified, she lifted a hand to wipe at it, and Odo pressed a napkin to her lips. It was a sweet gesture, but if anyone but him had done that, she would have slapped their hand away.
"I have made a mess of myself, haven't I?"
"No need to be embarrassed," Odo's eyes twinkled.
"Oh, and when I have food in my teeth and smack my lips or burp and slurp, that's attractive?"
"Compared to Morn or Quark and some of the others on this station, you eat with grace and gusto."
She chuckled. She didn't know very many people that used words like 'gusto' to describe the basic human function of eating.
"That is setting the bar very low when you drop names like those."
Odo growled a little and twitched his head. "They are poor choices, I suppose. The truth is that I watch you eat because I wonder what you are experiencing."
"I keep forgetting that you had taste buds for a short while and did eat."
"Well taste is only part of the experience, of course."
Kira gazed at him as she resumed her meal. She remembered a time when Odo simulated the act of eating and drinking when in public simply to be polite. He had complained it was tedious and messy, though, and strangers might be fooled, but not her and the rest of their friends. When she first came to the station, and it was not called DS9, Odo did not bother to pretend to eat. He came to the chow halls and cafeterias of the Promenade only to observe potential criminals. She was an undercover Resistance fighter and he was no Cardassian, so she had not noticed him until she came to be one of his suspects.
A pretty girl should not be eating alone. Those were his first words to her. It seemed like that had been a lifetime ago. With years of hindsight, she knew that Odo usually never complimented a woman's appearance. He barely noticed the differences between genders at that point in time. He was a Changeling, a formless, genderless being masquerading as a humanoid after growing up in a lab of Bajoran scientists. She was grateful that it was not Cardassians that had found him drifting in space first. If they had, though, she had a strange feeling that Odo's internal sense of justice would have made him defect anyway. If he could reject the Founders, he certainly would have objected to Cardassians. But he had called her pretty. She had no idea what a significant statement that was from him, and especially, at that point in time. It proved that there had been an initial attraction the moment he saw her. She just thought he was buttering her up for interrogation, which was also kind of true.
Here they were in almost the same exact place years later. How their relationship had changed! She went from being his suspect to a fellow co-conspirator. After the Occupation, she was given the rank of Major and assigned a place at the space station, finally under Bajoran rule. She was suddenly in command of Odo, her new Constable. She came to rely on him a lot. He forced everyone to keep a cool head and channel their passions into something other than fighting and killing. He proved a reliable friend as well. That had surprised her. So many of her friends had died or been reassigned. Odo had actually been part of her life longer than most, including some of her close family members. It had taken years, but now they were lovers as well as best friends.
"What were your favorite foods when the Founders made you human and you could taste food?" Kira asked with childish wonder.
"Sweets, actually," Odo confessed. "If I had stayed human, I would have grown portly quickly."
"I should have known you would have a sweet tooth!"
"I tried all sorts of things, especially the things that I witnessed you and the others eating. I wish I had taken a detailed log, but I am not the writer on this station. That would be Jake Sisko."
"If he ever had the chance, he would harass you for days for that kind of a log! So is it true what the Earthlings say that everything tastes like chicken?"
"That seemed to be the case with quite a few meat dishes."
"So what did you absolutely hate to eat?"
"Klingon racht!" Odo made a squeamish face.
Kira let out one of her famous laughs and Odo cracked a smile. She had no idea that the sound of her laugh permeated the fragile solid shell he formed and waves of joy passed through him, more infectious to a changeling than humanoids. He had to suppress what surely would have been peals of throaty laughter. If he didn't, everyone in the cafeteria would have looked at him thinking he had gone crazy. That might not be such an unfair assumption. Kira Nerys did drive him crazy.
"You don't like the sensation of live worms squiggling down your throat?"
"No. It's one thing to eat something knowing that it was once alive and quite another to experience it fighting as you swallow."
"I don't blame you."
As soon as she had finished her meal and they were within a few feet of her quarters, their quarters, he surprised her. She gasped when he pressed her against the door and kissed her. She closed her eyes in surrender. His tongue turned to liquid, causing her eyes to involuntarily snap open. She had been very startled the first time he had done that, but she loved it. It was Odo's signature liquid kiss. He tasted like melted quick-silver and left a clean sensation in her mouth afterward. Prophets, who knew that he would become such a sensational kisser and kissing quickly became child's play to him!
She shouldn't have been surprised, but being the object of his lust and love was not something she could have possibly prepared for. She knew long before they were lovers if he ever found a mate, that person would be incredibly fortunate. Despite grumbling that humanoid relationships were silly, she caught him reading romance novels that he tried to pass off as his usual crime novels. She had been so happy for him when he briefly coupled with Arissa that she thought her heart would burst. It felt like it would break for him when it ended almost as soon as the relationship began too. She didn't egg him on like Dax or Garak. She was a silent cheerleader when it came to his love life. She knew once he focused on a woman, he would thoroughly do his homework and dedicate every fiber of his being to her. Now she was that lucky one!
And to think that Dax had been like some sort of Pa-Wraith, sitting on her shoulder, whispering perverted things in her ear about Bareil or Shakaar or a random Ferengi at Quark's bar. The little temptress accused her of being too picky or shallow to date anyone other than a powerful Bajoran man. Look at her now! Kira Nerys, once one of the most xenophobic women in the Resistance, was in a relationship with an entirely different life form from the Gamma Quadrant! She would have to remind her beloved Dax about that and demand she buy her a drink for being proven wrong! No, a round of drinks for all!
When Odo ended the kiss, Kira was breathless and felt as though she had just taken a sip of Romulan ale without the awful taste.
"Has anyone ever told you that you kiss with such gusto?" she whispered seductively in his ear.
"How dare you steal my words!" he feigned offense.
"Steal?" she pouted. "My dear Constable, I merely borrowed an expression!"
She fumbled for the door panel, realizing with alarm that they were still in the hallway, not yet in the privacy of their quarters. After their first kiss in front of half the station, Dax had teased her relentlessly for ages and strangers still gave the two of them knowing glances in passing. The couple agreed no more PDA or humiliation was necessary. It was, at the same time, the only rule that Odo kept threatening to break. The present moment was a perfect example. He should have waited for that kiss just a few moments longer. She felt the door opening behind her and wrapped her arms around Odo's neck, pulling him after her into the room.
Once inside, she had to move a few items about and tapped her com badge. While she was distracted, Odo shape shifted out of sight.
"Kira to Ops."
"Yes, Colonel?"
"I don't want to be disturbed for the rest of the night unless it's a life or death situation. Is that understood?"
"Loud and clear. Have a good night."
"Thank you. You too, Emissary."
She began looking around for Odo and soon realized he was playing hide and seek. She had no idea what he was now.
"Damn you, Odo!" she exclaimed. "I was hoping to play a different game!"
He betrayed nothing.
"Fine," she had no choice.
She searched deftly with her hands, knowing that he could be any object or surface. She brushed her hand down the spine of a book on the shelf and swore that it trembled at her touch.
"Found you!" she said with a smug grin.
Odo promptly shifted back, "Well done, Nerys! Record timing!"
"Is my reward another kiss?"
"Do you have to ask?"
This kiss was hungrier than the last and he gently bit her lower lip. She reciprocated, kissing him back fiercely and nibbling his ear. The sensation of her teeth and feel of her warm breath excited him. He shifted to simply remove his uniform and began to toy with hers, but she clutched his arms to stop him.
"Wait. Make love to me as yourself first."
He hesitated a moment, "Are you sure? Last time I wasn't very careful and you passed out. I almost called Bashir."
"I trust you, Odo."
She could tell he appreciated her saying that. He began to shift into his liquid form and then into his true self, as they called it. The first time he had done this, a part of her was afraid. Neither of them really knew what to expect. How on earth did a changeling make love in their natural state to a humanoid like her? It was uncharted territory, as far as they knew. She wondered if they truly were the first to explore such a cross-species relationship on such a level. Laas claimed he had tried to love a humanoid female, but Odo somehow doubted they had ever attempted this. Laas never seemed to trust his partner and she had not possessed Kira's courage and confidence. He knew from experience that humanoids felt uncomfortable in their own skin, no matter how smooth and beautiful it was. They saw themselves as awkward, revolting, and imperfect. Odo felt sorry for Laas and wished he could thank him somehow. Until he met Laas, he didn't even know he could exist in his current form.
Odo had taken his most extreme form which he could only describe as a sort of gaseous substance. He enveloped Kira in an embrace of amber light. She reveled at the beauty of his pure form, allowing him to wash over her. To her, it seemed that he had become pure pagh! He was loving her with his soul! It was a delicious experience, and she willed her own pagh to touch him through her limiting flesh and blood form. She wasn't sure if she was succeeding, though. She wished for the millionth time that she could link like a Changeling if only for an hour.
"Nerys," Odo's disembodied voice sang within her. "You are perfect the way you are."
"How do you know what I am thinking when we can't Link?"
"I don't know. I just do. That only happens with you."
He began making every cell in her body tingle with pleasure. She did not know how. He could not explain quite how. She let out a strangled gasp and the tingling subsided a little.
"Don't stop!" she whispered. "Please, Odo. Please."
"I won't deny you. Just tell me if you feel any pain."
Euphoria began to wash over her in waves like the exact opposite of a migraine. Making love to Odo as a changeling was a religious and sexual experience blended into one overwhelming occurrence. And she thought her orb experience with Bareil had been intense! Odo knew that she still loved her beloved vedek, but he had never been jealous of that man and was sorry when he died. If Bareil caused anyone pain, it was to Kira and only because he had to return to the Prophets. Shakaar had been a different story.
"Odoooooo," Kira moaned and fell to her knees. Was he aware that his name was perfect for situations like this? His name was seventy-five percent 'O', a vowel that was one of the few sounds she could force resembling language past her lips. Words abandoned her when it came to these matters. Lucky for her, Odo and other changelings didn't seem to care much for words either. They were all about sensation. They were masters of the elemental and in what was honest and true.
"Nerysssss," Odo suddenly intensified as he hissed her first name. She felt a stab of pleasure inside her skull, so sharp that she let out a wordless cry. She tried to keep quiet, knowing that some species on the station like Ferengi could possibly hear them, but Odo liked to count how many times he could make her cry out. It was another of his little games.
"Is there something that I can do to make you feel more pleasure?" she managed to ask the question earnestly.
"Just allow me to love you," he replied. "Let me enjoy you."
"So I'm a vessel for you to fill, drink, and enjoy? That hardly seems fair. I want you to be the enjoyed once in a while. I want to be the enjoyer. Does that make any sense? You are making it hard to make coherent thoughts."
"I understand what you are saying, Nerys. That is why I use my body, so that you can enjoy me."
"That still doesn't seem fair. It doesn't seem like I am able to make you feel the sorts of things you make me feel right now!"
Suddenly, he tormented her with a tumult of orgasms, one after another. She almost did pass out. She crumpled to the floor, trembling, eyes glossing, toes curling. She felt light-headed, dizzy, and hot as fire. She wanted to scream, not in pain, but in immense pleasure, but no sound came out. It occurred to her that if he wanted to, Odo could probably kill her. A relationship between changeling and solid could become toxic, addictive, and deadly. He could just as easily give her hellish pain. If Linking was anything like this, no wonder the Female Changeling had almost taken Odo from her and turned him into a callous Founder.
She and the others used to laugh at Dax and Worf under their breath every time they came into Ops after spending time in Bashir's office, groggy from pain meds or nursing bruises, broken fingers, ribs, and setting dislocated bones. She and Odo had even discussed it with each other in private.
"How could a married couple cause each other such physical injury during their love-making and somehow enjoy that?" Odo had asked out of the blue.
"Well, Klingons are known for violent passion and are much stronger than Trill," Kira explained. "Dax is feisty and much stronger than she looks. She gives Worf as good as she gets. I don't enjoy that kind of pain with my pleasure, but it's not uncommon at all for some of us solids."
"I could never hurt you like that," Odo sounded horrified.
"No, you might never slap me or kick me or anything like that. I wouldn't want you to. Like I implied before, I don't understand it either."
And then Dax would gossip at her, giving Kira way more details about her love life than she ever wanted to know about her dear friend. Sometimes she yearned to tell Dax: Your man can crack your skull with his bare hands, but Odo can simply stop my heart on a whim if he wanted. He could fry my brain or shift into something in the middle of the act. He is only limited by his imagination. She almost opened up her mouth to say so, but then she realized what a morbid and insipid discussion that would be. Knowing Worf, if he overheard, he would challenge Odo to a duel or something, forgetting that shape shifters couldn't be seriously harmed by knives or fists. Klingon or not, it wouldn't matter. Instead, she had a private laugh to herself.
Odo took shape and cradled Kira in his arms, afraid that he had gone too far again, but she was conscious. He peeled away her uniform in an attempt to keep her cool and give her skin some exposure to actual oxygen. She pressed her forehead against his and wrapped her arms around him. They remained motionless in that position for a long moment.
"Nerys," he said. "You do give me so much pleasure. Long before we were lovers, you were the first one to actually treat me like a person and not a thing. I had doubts about staying on the station once the Cardassians were driven out. I knew some Bajorans didn't understand my role here. They thought, perhaps not undeservedly, that I was a Collaborator. I didn't want to go back to the lab. I didn't know Bajor well and I knew I would receive stares and suspicion wherever I went. You simply came into my office and talked to me."
"Was that really such an amazing thing?"
"Yes! Every time you brushed within ten feet of me, it was like an intimate touch. If you did touch me, it was and always is like…"
He was stretching to find the right words, whether it was in Bajoran, Cardassian, or the Federation language. She put a finger to his lips.
"I think I understand. We have something that threatens and intimidates other changelings because they can't understand it or cheat and simply force themselves to fit it. I'm sorry if I ever caused you pain, which I did, knowingly or not, on several occasions."
"No. you gave me reason to exist! Especially when I was human, you have no idea how much I wanted to throw myself out of the nearest airlock. I couldn't feel you the way I had as a Changeling, but it gave me hope that if I didn't seem such a monster-"
Kira interrupted him with a kiss and raked her nails down the skin of his back, making him growl. She pinned him to the floor. He was surprised and thrilled. She pressed herself against him and took him inside her. It was her turn to make him cry out. He was a harder nut to crack than she was, but that made her victories sweeter.
"I never ever thought of you as a monster, Odo!" she pushed herself onto him with every word to drive home her point. "Never! Do you hear me?"
"Yes," he groaned. "I believe you! Now!"
She laughed and tried to wear him down, make him beg for mercy, but Odo never seemed to have a limit. He rarely had trouble holding his shape with her, and he was hours away from having to regenerate. That was something she both loved and hated about him. He sensed when she was getting tired.
"Give up, Nerys!"
"Never!"
He rose, lifting her with him, and tossed her on the bed to continue their activities into the night. He placed himself on top, but she surrendered willingly. She still felt like she was passively taking pleasure rather than giving it, but if Odo didn't seem to care, neither did she. He fitted her down to the last nanometer and stretched her limits every time.
"Did you make yourself bigger?" she hooted.
"Maybe."
"Every man in the galaxy would envy you and worship you if they only knew!"
Once he drove her to ecstasy as a man, they lay together under the sheets and blankets of her bed, cuddling long after. This part was just as important to him as the coupling before. Touch. It was simple and yet it was everything to Odo.
"I love you, Odo."
"I love you, Nerys, and I never get tired of hearing you say that."
"That and when I call you my Odo."
"You are right. I never get tired of that either."
He ran his fingers through her hair, a beautiful shade of red and growing longer every day now. He loved her new style. He was surprised when she confessed her long hair during the Occupation were extensions and she had kept it short a long time.
"What took you so long to start growing your hair out?" he asked. "Why wear extensions? You have never told me why you kept your hair short for so long."
"It's not a pleasant story, I'm afraid."
"It's one I haven't heard before and it's about you. Tell me."
He tugged a little too hard on a tangle and she took the offending hand and bit playfully. He tapped the ridges of her nose.
"Oh, Nerys," he clucked his tongue, "you are playing with fire. You know what that does to me."
"I like the burn," she shot back.
"Oh, I will make you burn, but later. Now I get the sense that you are using your wily charms to avoid answering my question."
"Guilty."
"Well then, if it's something you'd really rather not talk about-"
"No. No, Odo, it's alright. I owe you a story at least. It's just that I've never spoken of it to anyone."
"Your secrets are safe with me."
"They always have been."
He kissed the top of her head, waiting patiently. She propped herself on a pillow and turned to face him as she told the story. She rubbed his lean, pale chest, summoning strength of will from his skin.
"During the Occupation, I had something close to a friend. I never knew her real name. She was new to the Resistance and we went by code names even in Shakaar's cell. No one used surnames until they were considered something of a veteran."
"And how long did veteran status usually take to earn?"
"Oh, until the new recruit had survived enough risky missions or saved someone's rear from a close call, or built trust in some other way. It was never a matter of time. We called her Sisica, and she was gorgeous. Odo, she was the most beautiful Bajoran woman I ever met. All the boys in the Resistance went gaga for her, especially Shakaar."
"Why am I not surprised?" Odo growled.
"Zip it, sweetheart. This story isn't about Shakaar. Why do you hate him so?"
"Because he was no good for you."
She was caught off guard and thought a moment about his statement. He was being a tiny bit unfair. Shakaar was the leader of her planet so their relationship had to come second. She had never expected more. In fact, she encouraged him to put their people and home first every chance she got. When she knew him in the Resistance, she had admired him because he was leader of their cell and had given her a chance joining in the first place. The others wanted to turn her away, saying she was too young. Shakaar saw potential in her. He was her brother-in-arms and only afterward had become leader of Bajor and pursued a relationship. It was, in a way, a foreshadowing of her relationship with Odo. Or rather, what she had with Odo now was what she had hoped to have with Shakaar. None of that mattered so much as what her heart had told her. The Prophets saw her with someone else and they knew she loved Odo before she realized it herself.
"Last I heard, Shakaar was happily dating someone else. Good for him. I was talking about Sisica. The boys loved her, and she liked them. But she only liked the Bajoran boys and hated the Cardassian soldiers. You already know that the women of Bajor were expected to become comfort women for Cardassians. She made the decision, like me, that she would rather die."
"Was there really no other option?"
"Not really. Oh, I suppose they could starve first. I was ten years old when my little brother died of malnutrition. The extra rations my family got suddenly stopped coming. We had come to rely on them. My father became inexplicably depressed and work became hard for him to come by too. I know now it a was because was my mother had died. I thought she had died seven years before that because father never told me that Dukat had claimed her for himself. While she lived, he registered her Bajaron family on a list. I never understood why we had so many privileges in those short years and took it for granted. Once she was gone, though, Dukat took his post at Terrok Nor and stopped caring about us. To me, that is proof that he never really loved my mother, no matter what he says. If he had loved her, he wouldn't have stolen her from her husband and three children, all under the age of five! Once she was dead, he took Ziyal's mother as his mistress almost as soon as he took his new posting. My brothers were younger than I. We didn't have skills to hunt and my family belonged to the caste of artists. My father was a good man, but he couldn't provide much without work! For a long time, the only food we ate was whatever me and my brother foraged in the hills or stole. Getting caught stealing food was a death sentence. If the Cardassians caught you, they'd kill you, but so would a fellow Bajoran. That's why I was so amazed when the Federation installed their replicators here. I thought to myself: Do these humans understand what a miracle these machines are? Have they ever known what it's like to starve?"
"It's also why to this day, you relish food like no other," Odo murmured against her skin. "And why you get so cranky when you are hungry."
"Yes. Watching a sibling starve tends to make you appreciate food! Well, after my baby brother died, I started to nurture a healthy hatred for Cardassians. My faith in them was further misplaced because a Cardassian soldier started lurking around our camp when I was twelve. The Cardassian soldiers had never paid attention to me before. I was a filthy vole rat to them as a child. This one seemed different. He would smile at me. He didn't seem to speak Bajoran, but his Cardassian words seemed kind. He offered me Mapa bread, but before I could accept it, my father appeared and slapped my hand away. That was when the Cardassian finally did speak a little Bajoran. He looked at my father and said with me standing right there: Your daughter will make me very happy one day."
"What a fool."
"I was twelve, but by then, I was beginning to understand the way of the world. His words chilled me to the bone, Odo. It was then that I packed my bags and told my father that I wouldn't wait to be dragged off in a few short years. I was going to join the Resistance. If my father hadn't already lost his wife to Cardassians, I think he would have stopped me. I had expected him to, but he supported me. My brother would follow me years later, but neither survived the Occupation. Sisica had made a very similar decision. She had escaped from a Cardassian household when the owner began eyeing her. I couldn't help but grow fond of her. In a lot of ways, she was like Dax. I didn't get much attention from the boys, not like her. They saw me as one of them, as a soldier and comrade, not as a woman. I accepted that. I preferred that. It was Sisica that made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I have only ever had one truly close female friend and that's Dax. But even she barely counts because she had lived as a man. She has that imp Curzon's memories and flair. Sisica was glamorous, feminine, and so beautiful. She could have sat near anyone during our meetings or chow, but for some reason, she was drawn to me!"
"Why is that so surprising, Nerys?"
"To you, I am the most charming and beautiful thing in the universe. You should have seen me during those days! I was a terrorist! I was a radical, ill-tempered little harpy! I wasn't even a good soldier at the start. I was a scrawny nineteen year old girl and by the end of the Occupation, I was rough and barely tolerable. Sisica embodied what I wished I could be. I was flattered and shocked by her interest in me."
"Do you mean to say that she was in love with you?"
"No. It wasn't like that. I mean-" Kira began to blush. "You know, I was a virgin for a long time, Odo? Intimacy scared me just as it once scared you. I told myself if I could only do that with someone I truly loved and trusted."
"I knew that's how you must have felt the fist time I met you," Odo smiled. "That's why I almost broke Quark's neck when he lied about you, saying that you had engaged in relations with him in hopes of a job at the bar. One conversation with you, and I knew. Unfortunately, that made him spill the beans about your fake alibi."
"You still saved my life. I don't want to know what Dukat would have done to me if you had charged me for Vatrik's murder."
"So do I. I'll never forget how he grabbed your arm when you tried to leave the room. Do you think he realized who you were? Do you think it ever occurred to him that you were the flesh and blood of a woman he supposedly loved?"
"Of course he did. That's why he took such a personal interest, not just to protect his network of Bajoran Collaborators. There aren't very many other Kiras left."
"I think he was hoping I would name you so that he could imprison you for himself."
"No. As much as he might have desired me in those early days, I think if you had declared me a murderer, he would have had no choice but to execute me. Until Ziyal came along, Dukat was a man that put his ambitions first."
"He was also a man that took advantage of every and any situation if he could," Odo snorted with derision.
"I didn't learn to love or trust a man until Bareil came into my life and then it was like a damn had burst open and a lot of my pain and anguish was washed away. I was a child soldier, so I was too young for it. There was opportunity if I had wanted it as I grew into a woman. All I had to do was ask for it. In the Resistance, women and men coupled all the time with no strings. There couldn't be any strings! It wasn't about love or attachments. They did it for warmth, to keep their mind off food, to distract themselves from the horror of killing and death. It was an unwritten rule that only the women could initiate it. Too many of the female soldiers were discarded comfort women. Bajoran men understood that, so they never initiated. They knew better. Sometimes the women preferred to partner only with other women. Cardassians had abused them so much they had ruined even Bajoran men for them! But no, Sisica didn't want that sort of relationship with me. She just treated me like a girl. She would braid my hair and talked me into trying on pretty clothes we smuggled. She would doll me up with make-up and hug and kiss me like a sister. It was so wonderful."
"Well, your mother was taken from you when you were very young and you had no sisters. You lived a soldier's life. You craved female companionship. I understand."
"You do."
"But something terrible happened to her, didn't it?"
"I told you that she was beautiful."
"Several times."
"Well, Dukat requisitioned fresh troops from Cardasia. They brought no women. No matter. They began going door to door seeking comfort women from the local Bajoran population."
"Oh, Nerys!"
Odo clutched her tight, imagining terrible things. Kira buried her face in his chest and he felt hot tears on his skin. He shouldn't have brought this up! But Kira continued.
"We were warned that they were coming, but there was no time to actually escape. I chopped off some of my hair and thanked the prophets for the first time that I had small breasts. They had made me less of a target before and maybe now I could pass myself off as a boy when the Cardassians came to find us. But Sisica had other plans for herself. She had a vial of acid in her bag."
"What?"
"She begged me to throw the acid in her face. She wanted to self-mutilate so that she would be too hideous for the Cardassians to consider. She told me there was enough for me if I wanted it. My ruse wouldn't work. The Cardassians would force me to strip and reveal my sex when they saw my red hair. Even cut like a boy's, it was a shade Cardassians never have and find exotic. She told me I was too lovely. They would take us both if we didn't use the acid. I couldn't do it, Odo. I couldn't help her mutilate herself and I was determined that if the Enemy tried to lay a finger on me, I'd kill them and die defending myself. I begged her not to use the acid. I told her that if they took her, I would tell everyone she went kicking and screaming. Surely if they took her, it wouldn't be as bad as we thought. It was not worth mutilation! This was Sisica! I wanted to scream to her my real name and hold her and kill anyone that came near her. It did not work out that way."
Odo sighed, "I had no idea Bajoran women had to deal with such an issue on such a regular basis that they felt compelled to carry acid around. I am so sorry. What happened? Did they take you?"
"The Cardassians forced their way into the house. As soon as Sisica heard the door crash open, she splashed herself with the acid. I had seen people die before. I heard screams of men and women being tortured, but I had not seen something quite like this! She writhed and screamed in agony as her face melted! I was in such shock I froze up. The Cardassians took one look at her and turned away in revulsion. They rounded on me. Like Sisica had said, they didn't believe I was a boy. I was about to grab a weapon from the nearest soldier's belt when they scanned for my identification. At the announcement of the name Kira, they let me alone. I couldn't believe it. It was only years later that I learned why."
"Dukat?" Odo snarled.
"Uh, yeah. He had let my brother starve and didn't mind that my father was out of work, but he must have promised my mother that I would never be selected to be a comfort woman."
"I never thought I would say this in a million years: I am actually grateful to that Gul."
"Well, he saved a few Cardassian lives. I could have killed at least one of those soldiers. No Cardassian has ever entered my temple, and no Cardassian ever will! The thing is, Odo, I made it out alive and unscathed. But Sisica paid the ultimate price. She survived the acid. I took her to Shakaar and we used the last of our stolen medical supplies to stabilize her. She wore a mask over her face and was promised reconstructive surgery once we could find a doctor. She stopped eating almost entirely, and the first mission she could volunteer for, she took. The mission went sour and she was killed mishandling a bomb. I'm convinced that was no accident. She wanted to die."
Odo's heart, his figurative heart obviously since he had no heart, went out to not only Kira, but to all the Bajoran women that must have suffered such horrors during the Occupation. He burned with hatred at the thought of those soldiers being so savage and wished he could have killed Dukat when he ran DS9. He had made unwanted advances toward Kira even then. The despot was top on his list of people he wished the Founders could shred to pieces for him. They never seemed to want to massacre the populations that deserved it though.
"Nerys, I wish I had been there," he ran his fingers through her hair with a whole new appreciation.
"Oh, Odo, there was nothing you could have done. You were still in the lab at that time."
"Lucky for Cardassians like Dukat!"
"I hate him as much as you do!"
"I am glad we are in agreement."
"Me too. The next time he worms his way onto this station, let's kill him together!"
"Yes! How shall we do it?"
"A phaser is too good for him. I want to make him suffer!"
"I can think of many ways…"
"Ops to Kira!"
"Ugh!" she groaned and rolled her eyes. "What time is it?"
"Past morning."
"Prophets, where does the time go when I am with you?"
She began to hastily dress and tidy herself. Her hair was wild and there was no time to get into the sonic shower, but Odo never left her messy like her other lovers. That made it easier after a long night of passion to be on the go. He watched her fondly out of the corner of his eye as he tidied their bed and the rest of their quarters. As a Changeling, he had a touch of what Sisko and O'Brien would have called OCD. He soon had a steaming cup of raktajino ready for Kira in the replicator.
"I feel guilty," he said. "I kept you awake all night and you got no sleep at all. I still have an hour before I'm needed in the security office. That is plenty of time for me to regenerate but you are probably in for a longer day than necessary now."
"Don't worry!" She took her cup of Klingon coffee and gave him a sweet peck. "I don't feel exhausted at the moment. When I do start to feel tired, I'll just drink a few more of these to keep me fueled."
"Drinking so much caffeine can't be good for you, Nerys."
"Don't lecture me, please. I love the stuff and you know it. I don't have Sisko's self-control. I could never give this stuff up!"
She took a sip of her beverage and obviously enjoyed it. Her smile broadened and her eyes bulged a little. Odo had managed to keep it at the perfect temperature. He had a great big smile on his face.
"This is why I love to watch you eat or drink. Especially when you drink your coffee, Nerys, you look so happy."
"Well, the Prophets have blessed me."
He gave her a liquid kiss to send her off, leaving unsaid his doubts about her Prophets. It seemed to him that she had lost more in her lifetime than she deserved, especially after what she had just told him about Sisica. He had long accepted her beliefs and knew they were to her what the Link was to him.
"Remember what day it is, Nerys?"
"Tuesday!"
"Yes. I'll see you in my office in an hour for our scheduled meetings."
"Will do."
