I don't own Degrassi, which you probably could've figured out.

In any case, I was in the shower the other day and it suddenly (and randomly) occurred to me that Fitz got a crappy deal after Vegas Night. Okay, yeah, he threatened Eli with a knife. But hello, Eli poisoned him first! Why does Fitz have to go to juvie while Eli gets a suspension? Anyway, it bothered me so much that I decided to write what I think should have happened. Hope you enjoy!

1.

Clare Edwards thought that fate was exceptionally cruel. Why else would the letters both come on the same day? Same return address, same stamp, same envelope. She recognized the spidery handwriting on the front of the thick one, because she had seen it every day for the last three months. The barely legible scrawl on the thin one was unfamiliar, but there was no doubt in her mind as to the identity of the sender.

She opened them at the same time, seated at her kitchen table. It was a little ironic, she thought, that both letters even started the same way. Dear Clare, I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, but they wouldn't give me a pen.

It had been almost two weeks since that day in the courthouse, when she had last seen both of their faces. Two weeks since she took the stand and betrayed the one person she could always count on. She bit her lip at the thought, silently praying that God would give her the strength to cope.

She decided to start with the thin one. It was only one page, front and back, covered in messy handwriting. Her hands shook as she picked up the page and began to read.

Dear Clare,

I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, but they wouldn't give me a pen. You probably didn't expect to hear from me, did you? You probably even hoped you wouldn't. I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

I guess I owe you now. I really fucked up this time. Everything happened so fast. I don't even know why I did what I did. Wait, that's a lie. I know exactly why I did it, I just didn't expect it to go down like that. So I probably need to tell you how sorry I am. I wanted it to be a special night. I wanted you to see me for real, to actually get to decide for yourself if you like me. I know there's no way you could ever like me now, though. But I really am sorry.

I guess I need to tell you thanks too. I know you weren't involved now. Maybe if I'd realized that sooner, I wouldn't be sitting here in a cell. I'm stupid. But thanks for standing up for me when it came down to it. If it weren't for you, I'd be in even more serious shit than I already am.

I don't expect you to write back or anything, although it'd be nice if you did. Nobody else will, besides my mom. I'm going to try to change while I'm in here, because it sucks here and I never want to come back. We have church every Sunday. The pastor, Father Greg, he seems pretty cool. When he talks about purity of heart, it makes me think of you.

Fitz

Clare laid the letter on the table. She looked at the thicker one for a moment before getting up. She went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. She took a large gulp, immediately choking on it and spewing water onto the front of her shirt. "Shit," she muttered, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. "You can do this, Clare." She placed her water bottle on the table and picked up the second letter. She stood in the middle of the kitchen and forced herself to read.

Dear Clare,

I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, but they wouldn't give me a pen. I'm really not sure what to say to you. How do I feel? At this exact moment, I am so many things: scared because this place is not exactly a resort lodge, lonely because I am without you, frightened because I have no idea what's going to become of me, betrayed because I never thought you would stand against me.

I understand why you chose the way you did, truly I do. I'm well aware that you don't condone violence. I knew when I planned this that you would be furious with me. However, I never imagined that it would come to this, the point where my enemy and I share a wretched excuse for a home because you feel so strongly about your beliefs.

I won't dance around the issue and pretend that I'm not upset, because part of me thinks that I should hate you for testifying against me. The other part of me is just as strong though, the part that says that you were doing what you thought was right. I love you, Clare, but it's not so easy to forgive and forget.

This place reminds me of a Gothic novel, grim and dark, built completely of stone. Everything and everyone in it is lifeless, until a fight breaks out. Then the whole world comes alive for a few minutes, full of shouting and movement and energy. Fitz has already been in two fights – none with me, if you were wondering. He got his ass beat during the first one. He was actually unconscious when the guards pulled the other guy off. The second fight was with the same guy, but this time Fitz took him down. I would bet my autographed Dead Hand tee shirt that they'll have another round before too long.

I miss you so much, Clare. I miss getting lost in those gorgeous blue eyes, hearing your bubbly voice on the phone. I miss holding your hand as we walk through the halls and pressing my lips against yours. There's not much to do in here, so I daydream about those moments all day and night. The first thing I'm going to do when I got out of here is put on my own clothes. Then I'm going to kiss you for at least ten minutes. I know that we have to do some talking at some point. I imagine we both have a lot to say about what's going on, but please let me kiss you before we do that.

Cece and Bullfrog have come twice. They offered to bring you, but I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want them to see me like this either. I wish I had the strength to tell them not to come, but I need that connection with the real world too badly. They've taken it remarkably well, actually. It probably won't surprise you to know that Bullfrog once did some jail time on drug charges, back when I was a baby. I don't remember it at all, but Cece tells me that she would bring me with her on every visit and hold me up to the glass so I could see my father. I find it ironic that I'm now the one behind the glass, with my parents holding up their hands to try and touch me.

I wrote Adam a letter too. I hope that the two of you are helping each other deal with my absence. Don't worry, Blue Eyes. In about 10 weeks, the Misfits will be reunited. I miss you terribly. I hope you think of me often. I don't know if our relationship will ever be what it once was. I'm not entirely sure I can forgive you for what you did, although I'm not blaming you for the consequences I'm suffering. I'm not sure you can ever forgive me for poisoning Fitz, either. I hope that we are strong enough as a couple that we can work this out.

I'm allowed a 20 minute phone call every other day. I'm going to call you on Saturday. I usually get to make my call between 6 and 8 in the evening. Please pick up the phone when I call, Clare. I need to hear your voice. I need something to hold on to while I'm here, something to make getting through each minute worth the battle.

I love and miss you, beautiful blue-eyed Clare. I am eagerly awaiting the day that I can be in your arms again.

Love,

Eli

Clare was surprised to find that her eyes were dry when she finished reading the letter. She folded it neatly and returned it to the envelope. She stayed standing in the kitchen, lost in her own thoughts, as shadows filled the kitchen and night fell on the world.