Y'all I'm big mad at DreamWorks. So basically Lotor's alive. There are no couples between the paladins; we're all friends now. This is an insert fic for my best friend. We made a deal and now she owes me some fanart lol. But feel free to enjoy this because #LotorDeservesBetter.
"Wait!" Merla, the pilot of one of the Altean robeast, interrupted Coran's mission of converting Honerva's ship. "The Prince is still on board!"
"What do you mean?" Coran called over the intercom. "Prince Lotor is still alive?"
"Yes! Honerva does not know!" There was a hush over the crew of the IGF-Atlas.
"Griffin, you and Leifsdottir are going to retrieve Lotor. Kinkade and Rizavi, be ready to get into position as soon as they exit. We need to stabilize the rift as soon as possible." Coran gave the orders.
"If Lotor is still alive," Veronica began as Griffin and Leifsdottir entered the Altean ship, "Why is Honerva still going through realities?"
It was silent while someone tried to come up with an answer.
"She wants a do-over," Acxa answered. Veronica looked at her but Acxa's face remained stoic. "Lotor is one of her greatest failures. She suddenly wants to be the mother she never got to be. Lotor is simply too old… too twisted for that now. I bet anything that she didn't bother to check if he was alive."
"It's true," Merla said over the intercom. "He was severely injured when she retrieved him from the quintessence field. She immediately ordered for his funeral. I stole his body away and kept him alive as best I could. I didn't think it was right for our savior to be thrown away instead of helped…"
"Incoming, Atlas, I have the Prince's body aboard." Leifsdottir hailed the bridge, a slight quiver in her voice.
"We're opening the right hanger; it's the closest to the medical bay," Veronica responded. "Griffin, get into place with the rest of fighters. Return as quickly as possible, Leifsdottir."
Once Lotor's body was dropped off the battle to hold the rift continued. Three doctors rushed to his aid. One threw up upon first sight of his body. Flesh and blood are not meant to spend time in the quintessence field. It does strange, horrible things. There was an energy radiating from his body as if the quintessence couldn't be held in. The energy was glitching the equipment in the room. The two remaining doctors desperately tried to take his vitals without doing further damage.
"What's wrong with his skin?" The first doctor asked, mostly to herself.
"I don't know." The second doctor responded quietly. "Julia, what do we do?"
"I don't know, Ashley." The two doctors stared at each other for a moment.
Lotor's skin was melted, and yet, it still held a shape. The two doctors took a step back.
"We have to go old school," Dr. Ashley said, looking at her partner for reassurance.
"I can't," Dr. Julia said softly. Both doctors looked once more at the Prince's mutilated body and felt their stomachs turn. Ashley took a deep breath and took a step toward the dying prince. She placed a hesitant hand on his wrist. His skin bubbled and warped around her fingers. She tasted the bile spill into her mouth and forced it back down. Her knees went weak at the feeling, but not in a bad way. His skin was warm, almost invitingly warm. She wasn't sure if the heartbeat she felt was her own or Lotor's but, it was wild and erratic. After a few moments, his skin around her hand stopped moving and settled, leaving a normal wrist and hand.
"Ashley, do you feel alright?" Julia asked from about ten feet behind her.
"I feel… fine," Ashley responded without looking away from Lotor's now normal hand. In truth, she felt more than fine. She felt like she could solve every deadly disease in the universe. Her knees had almost buckled in the sheer force of it all. The power was too great. All the fatigue that had wrecked her body in the past few days, and especially the last few hours, was gone.
"I think you should let go now," Julia said, the concern obviously dripping from her voice. Her tone startled Ashley and she turned to look at Julia. She gasped as she could see every pore on Julia's face from ten feet away. She looked down at her right hand and saw a faint golden glow surrounding her.
"It's the quintessence," she murmured to herself.
"It's too much," Julia said, taking a hesitant step forward.
"Yeah, you're right," Ashley said slowly, reluctant to let go.
"Remove your hand, Ashley," Julia said, her voice a little stronger. Ashley took a long look at the prince's contorted face and very slowly let go. Just as the last of her skin left Lotor's his hand reached up and grabbed her hand. His sudden movement startled Ashley and sent Julia into action. Julia ran the last few steps, grabbed Ashley by the waist, and pulled. She and Ashley fell back onto the floor, gasping at the rush of adrenaline.
Lotor's hand stayed up for a second more before dropping back onto the cot. The two doctors regained their breath before standing up and assessing the situation.
"Quick," Ashley began, "Grab a timer. We need to see how long his hand stays normal." She carefully walked back to the prince. "We need to find a way to get rid of the extra quintessence."
Solving the problem of extracting the quintessence proved to be an easy solve for Slav and Sam. It was as easy as hooking the prince up to some receptors and feeding the extra quintessence into the Atlas's core. Simple. With the realities restored, there were some sacrifices. In order to save them, the paladins had sacrificed Voltron itself. Honerva also lent herself to the recreation of all realities. The paladins came back to a restored timeline closer as a family than ever before. Where the planet Altea would've been was now a constellation of Voltron. Allura's mission was now finding and helping the rest of the Alteans. She had been so desperate to find a home and now, she realized that home will always be with the rest of her team.
The paladins all realized their callings to help the universe in many different ways. But one thing held them back. Lotor.
"I want to see him," Allura demanded, standing a clear eight inches above the doctor. With Lance and Keith flanking the princess, they were more intimidating than they intended to be. But, the short doctor stood strong. It had been six weeks since reality was restored and although Lotor's body looked normal, it was far from it. And he still hadn't woken up.
"I can't let you in, princess," Ashley said firmly but apologetically. "We may have stabilized the quintessence in his body but it's still wildly unpredictable." Allura made an unsatisfied noise, clenched and unclenched her fist, and sighed. Ashley watched as the princess' shoulders dropped.
"Please, be careful," Allura said, placing a hand on the doctor's shoulder. "I have to leave for Oriande to help with the relocation of my people. Keep me updated on his progress."
"You'll be the first to know, princess," Ashley said, giving Allura a small smile.
"Seriously," Lance started, "be careful. He was crazy strong before this, who knows how he is now."
"Are you sure you don't need someone to stand guard?" Keith asked. Ashley shook her head.
"I'll be okay. I felt something that first day; there were a lot of emotions but no malice." Ashley assured the former paladins. They said their goodbyes and went on their own paths. The only paladin left on the Atlas was Pidge. She was staying to conduct her own research alongside her family. About two weeks after the other paladins had all gone, Pidge found her way to Lotor's medical room. Ashley was taking down his vitals when she heard Pidge's soft knock on the door.
The room had been divided into two. The impromptu wall was made of an alloy metal, not found on Earth, that helped to contain some of the leftover quintessence oozing from Lotor. There was a small window and it was through that window that Ashley could see the small paladin's smiling face.
"Hey, Pidge," Ashley began, closing the door behind her. "How are you?"
"I'm good," Pidge answered. "I was just wondering if you've eaten?" The question threw Ashley for a loop. She hadn't really thought about food. And she knew that was dangerous. She could see that Pidge was thinking the same thing.
"I-" Ashley couldn't even finish the sentence. Pidge gave her a sweet smile and placed a hand on her arm.
"Come eat something. You need time away from all this quintessence. Don't let it consume you." If anyone knew about the dangers of exposure to quintessence it would be a former paladin of Voltron. Ashley agreed and let herself be guided out to the cafeteria by Pidge.
As soon as Ashley took the first bite of food her appetite returned tenfold. She ate until it physically hurt to swallow. She let herself be dragged along the ship with Pidge. Pidge showed her the bridge where Shiro was coordinating a meet up with a coalition planet. She finally saw the greenhouse for herself. She had a lengthy conversation with Colleen about different medicinal plants that might be helpful for Lotor's recovery. After about three hours with Colleen, Pidge took Ashley back to her room. It had been a long while since Ashley slept in her own bed, opting for a chair next to Lotor.
"Get some rest, Ashley," Pidge said caringly.
"Thank you," she said softly and entered her own room. Once inside, she looked at pictures of her family back on Earth. She felt her old self returning. Being a doctor to help not only humans but, all intelligent life as she could. She had gotten caught up in Lotor and the quintessence. She sighed as she laid down, asleep before her head hit the pillow.
In her dream, she felt a warm hand holding hers. The warmth spread up her arm and to the rest of her body. She felt light-headed and giddy. She was standing on a beach she had never been to before.
I would like to visit here again, a voice said off to her left. When she turned her head there was no one to be seen. But, the feeling of holding someone's hand was still there. She woke up at 0400 hours. She thought about going back to sleep but decided that six hours was enough. She knew where she was going to end up before she even thought of it.
Going through the alloy door while slipping on her lab coat, still in pajamas, she didn't notice the pair of eyes following her. She walked to the edge of the bed and looked at the holographic screen. She pulled up the day before's status and walked to the side of the bed to read new readings. She didn't notice the change in the position of the body that should've been laying down. The new readings were completely different.
Odd, Ashley thought, with these readings he-
"-Should be awake?" Lotor's voice sounded off in her right ear. She yelled and jumped back, tripping over her feet, landing hard on her butt. Lotor made no effort to move from his sitting position. Instead, he just watched the doctor fall rather ungracefully to the floor. After Ashley regained some composure, she cautiously looked at the comeback prince. His skin had mostly settled back into its normal elasticity. But, there were moments where random patches of his skin would bubble and melt. There was no way of telling how much quintessence would be too much to take as no one had ever measured exactly how much quintessence is in one person's body. And there were so many other altering factors that Ashley and Sam had agreed to take out as much as was needed to settle Lotor's body and then deal with the rest of the after effects.
Ashley opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. She didn't mean to stare but she was caught off guard by his eyes. She thought she knew what old eyes looked like. She thought she knew what pained eyes looked like. She thought that hurt could only show so much in a person's eyes. She was wrong. There was a plethora of emotion and hurt and time in Lotor's eyes. And it was absolutely captivating. He held her gaze, not wanting to look away either. He knew that the doctor was so very young.
"How long has it been since my battle with Voltron?" His voice was low; he spoke slowly. Ashley didn't trust her legs and settle for sitting criss-crossed on the floor.
"Six years," Ashley said. The steadiness in her voice surprised her but Lotor didn't seem to notice her nervousness. He didn't say anything. Instead, he looked down to his hands. Just then, the middle section of his right index finger started to bubble and melt. It moved like water, then like glue, and then bubbled again. He didn't say anything but his eyebrows knitted as he tried to understand what was happening. Ashley took this time to move a chair to his side and sit. She watched his finger with him as the bubbling moved from the middle to the tip before causing a mini power surge in the room. His finger returned to normal.
"This room runs on its own generator now," Ashley said still looking at Lotor's hands. "When you first got here, you were messing with the whole ship so we cut this room out. I forgot what that metal is called but, it helps contain the extra quintessence in this room and then our engineers can channel it out to the power core." She finally looked at him and ran straight into his eyes. This time he was unreadable. Ashley continued, "Does it hurt?"
"No," he answered slowly. "It feels a bit strange but it doesn't hurt. At least, not anymore." He looked down at his hand as he cautiously flexed his fingers. Ashley pulled up the holographic screen and opened the 'notes' section and wrote down what Lotor had just said.
"Are you studying me?" He asked, slight amusement in his voice. Ashley smiled as she typed.
"Yeah, I am." She answered truthfully, a small smile on her lips, pulling her hair into a ponytail.
"You've been here the whole time, haven't you?" Ashley nodded, continuing to typing. "What have you found?" Ashley looked up. His eyes were still unreadable.
"Well, either bodies don't die or decompose in the quintessence field, or your body is ridiculously strong. You spent over five years in the quintessence field and you're still alive. Just barely, but you are alive."
A deep silence settled between them. It was Ashley who broke it.
"I know it's a lot to take in. There's so much that happened while you were gone. I mean, like, a lot has happened. But, it's gonna be too much to take in in one go. It's still graveyard shift; we both have time to go back to sleep before morning shift wakes up. That's my shift. Though, I tend to work every shift because of you. I think I'm a little co-dependent on the quintessence on this room now, hah. Erm-" Ashley caught herself rambling. Lotor simply raised an eyebrow at her. She cleared her throat and stood up, brushing off her coat.
"I'm going to go back to sleep. You should do the same." She looked at Lotor for a response but got none. Feeling more awkward than anything, she nodded and quickly left the room. There was no lock on the door; there hadn't been a need for it. She hoped that Lotor wouldn't do anything rash and just stay put. She made it back to her room quietly with no alarms going off. She sighed, taking that as a good sign and went back to sleep. She had no dreams.
"Ashley! Get up!" Ashley was woken up by an excited Julia. Ashley rubbed her eyes trying to think.
"What is it?" She asked, still half asleep.
"It's Lotor! He's awake!" Ashley jumped to her feet, tripping back down onto her bed in her haste.
"What time is it?"
"It's 1000 hours. I know your shift is at 0800 hours but, this is the first time in a while you've slept in your bed. So, I was going to let you sleep some more but, I went to check in on Lotor and he was just sitting there!" Ashley changed her clothes and brushed her teeth while she was listening to Julia. "I saw him just sitting on up, his hands were folded on his lap. And he was just- there! He looked at me through the window and I ran. Oh my god. Ashley, I ran away! Do think he's going to do something? Should we do something? Should we call the paladins back? It's been a month since they left."
"Julia, calm down." Ashley took her partner by the shoulders. "If he was going to do something, he would've done it by now. I'm trying really hard not to freak out either, so let's just calm down." The two nodded at each other. And then proceeded to run to the medical bay.
Lotor was still there, still sitting with his hands folded on his lap when the two doctors ran into the room. If he was startled by their haste, he didn't show it. Ashley cleared her throat, smoothing out her lab coat.
"Good morning, Lotor." She said, the nervousness seeping in.
"I am Emperor Lotor," he said cooly, "You will address me as such." His voice was ice in their veins. Even just sitting on a medical cot, there was a regalness about him that was hard to miss. He held himself with the composure of a god. Ashley swallowed and looked to Julia.
"Dr. Reyes, could you get our patient some breakfast?" It was an act. But if Lotor was going to play the royalty card, Ashley was going to play the doctor card. Julia nodded, glad for an excuse to leave the room. "My name is Doctor Quintanilla. And you will address me as such." Lotor gave her a questioning look before giving up the tiniest of smiles. Ashley was sure she was imagining it. All the stories she had heard of Lotor were not adding up to the man in front of her.
"Yes," he began slowly, "As you are my doctor, I should address you with your respected title. But I wish to be recognized in my own title as well." Ashley took a deep breath before speaking again.
"Well, on a technicality, you are no longer an Emperor. However, I will address you within your birthright as Prince Lotor." He raised an eyebrow before leaning back, settling his folded hands over his stomach.
"My, my, Doctor. I didn't know you were so eloquent." He chuckled, making fun of her. It took all her restraint not to make a face at him.
"I can be when the situation calls for it," she responded. The rest of the time was spent in silence while she took down the new vitals. Julia returned, passing the tray to Ashley, and asked if she should inform Shiro.
"The former Black Paladin?" Lotor asked, his curiosity poorly masked. Ashley smiled, trying to comfort the former emperor of the Galra Empire. She knew from what the paladins had told of their ultimate mission, how horribly treated Lotor had been. She knew that underneath the hard exterior, was a man who never knew what it meant to be loved, who looked for his father's approval in all the wrong ways. In that short second, she saw fear in his eyes. Instead of sitting in the chair, she sat on the bed, placing the tray of food on her lap.
"Yes, Shiro, former Black Paladin, is captain of this ship we're on." She offered Lotor the tray. "I'll tell you everything you need to know after you eat." He cautiously took the tray from her, their fingers brushing. "You're not a prisoner, Prince Lotor," she said slowly. "Don't give them a reason to make you one."
With that Ashley and Julia left the room.
"Message Princess Allura first, and then tell Shiro," Ashley told Julia.
"What about you?"
"I'm going to start talking to him."
"This is certainly an odd feeling." Lotor pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, Voltron really is no more." He scoffed and crossed his arms across his chest. A small patch on his elbow began to bubble. "This is another odd feeling," he said, nodding toward the bubble that made its way down his arm, to his fingertips, and then dispersed. Ashley sat on the edge of the bed, her thigh centimeters away from his calves. The day after Lotor met with Shiro, Allura showed up, accompanied with Pidge and Hunk. The four of them had a lengthy conversation that Ashley was not privy to. And now, two months later, as she was sure they answered most of his questions, she wondered why he still wanted to speak to her. They were silent for a moment.
"Well," she started, "Your heart rate has normalized. You can walk now, so that's a plus. The bubbling is still happening but, they are small. And the events are over relatively quickly. I'm intrigued that you've managed to become so healthy in such a short amount of time."
"Be careful, Doctor." Lotor chuckled, "It almost sounded as if you were intrigued in me."
"I am," Ashley said without thinking. Lotor didn't bother to hide his surprise.
"Doctor-"
"-I am intrigued from a strictly medical standpoint, Prince." Ashley held up her hand between them. "Please do not misunderstand." Ashley backtracked as fast as she could. Of course, the Prince was the most beautiful person she had ever seen in her life. He was definitely flawed but he was a different man now. In the two months that Lotor had been awake, the two of them had talked a lot. But, it was mostly just filling him in on the last six years. He had asked her for her side of the war once. She told him no. It was a part of her life that she still wasn't sure how to reiterate. As a doctor, she lost so many lives. She kept their faces locked away in her heart. She tried so hard to save as many people as she could. It was just such an unfair fight. The Galra came in and almost wiped them clean off the map.
Unexpectedly, Lotor leaned forward and took her hand in his. Ashley didn't pull away from the touch. He intertwined their fingers and stared at their hands when he spoke.
"I know it was you," he said softly.
"Me?" His warmth spread up her arm. She wasn't sure if it was the quintessence or something else.
"Your touch was the first real thing I remember from being outside the quintessence field." His voice was the softest she had ever heard it. He held her hand tightly. She wondered when the last time he had actually had a physical connection with someone.
"The last time I touched someone was Princess Allura," he answered her thoughts. "But, I was blinded by greed and power at the time. I was confusing my desires for victory with the means of getting that victory." So, if he was confused about Allura, had he ever loved someone? "I'm not sure," he answered her thoughts again. "I've taken lovers before, but I've lived for ten thousand years now. There are parts in my memory which are so warped and twisted, I'm not sure if they're real or dreamt."
"Why are you being so open with me?" Ashley asked suddenly, returning Lotor's pressure on her hand.
"I'm not sure," he answered truthfully. "I know it was your touch that brought me back to myself. Being stuck in that much quintessence was the most unbearable pain I've ever been in. When I was taken out, I could feel that I wasn't in the field anymore. However, I couldn't recognize anything. Multiple events were happening simultaneously. I think that I might've been seeing different realities at once. I wasn't sure which reality was my own. That is until I felt your touch. It's as though I had an anchor, something to hold on to, to come back to."
Ashley was unsure of how to act. In front of her wasn't a Galran Emperor. He wasn't a Galran Prince. He wasn't a half breed. He was just a man, broken and defeated. A thin film glazed over his eyes and she knew the tears were there. It was just a matter of whether or not he would let them fall. He took in a shaky breath and cleared his throat. For a moment, Ashley thought he was going to push his emotions back down. But, for a second time that night, he surprised her.
Lotor's tears fell freely. He let go of her hand to hide his face. His shoulders shook softly. Each sob was a stab at Ashley's heart. He brought his knees to his chest, rested his arms on the top, and cried into them. His hair fell loose around his shoulders creating a curtain, further shielding his face.
Ashley knew there was a connection between them. She had a theory about the prolonged exposure to the quintessence coming from his body. That first touch was also very important to her as well. It was almost as if it was a one-way psychic connection. Wherein, he could tell what she was thinking but not the other way around. She decided to not think so much that night.
Getting up to move closer, Ashley sat as close as she could. She wrapped her arms around Lotor, one arm cradling his head, the other wrapping around his back. To her surprise, he moved to lean into her. He dropped his knees, pushing his face into her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist.
And he cried.
She held him, one hand stroking his hair. She could feel that he was breaking under the guilt and shame. Lifetimes of guilt, of regrets, all to a build-up of a fate worse than death. Ashley held him as tight as she could.
"You have a second chance, Lotor," she whispered into his hair. His response was a sniffle. "It's going to be incredibly hard, but you can make amends. You may never be able to make things right and you won't be so easily forgiven. But, you have to try."
Lotor let out a big sigh and she knew he was done crying. But, she still held on. He also made no effort to move, arms still holding onto her waist. Ashley shifted and gently pushed Lotor up by his shoulders. He avoided her gaze; his eyes swollen. Keeping her left hand on his shoulder, she let her right hand brush his hair back behind his ears. Once his hair was cleared, she took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.
"You have to try," she said fervently. Whatever he was searching for, he found it in her eyes. He covered her hand with his, holding it close to his cheek.
"Thank you," he whispered into her hand. He took a risk and kissed her palm. Ashley's breath caught in her throat. There were too many emotions flowing between the two of them. Ashley had always been guarded with her heart. And from years of abuse, so was Lotor. But the war had changed her. His time in hell had changed him.
They were two very different people sharing a moment. Where it was going to lead them to, neither knew. But, they knew they were going to see it through together.