Prologue— Planet Scotsania, Aileen's Castle

"But daddy! I want to marry someone!" Aileen, the boisterous and obviously upset princess, yelled to her annoyed father. "We'll find someone that's just right for you," King David reassured his daughter. "Let's look at my choices," Aileen said and picked her crystal ball up. "Welcome, Aileen," the crystal ball welcomed. It was powered by magic, a prevalent force around the surrounding forests. The first choice this day was shown; a bald, old man named Ivor. "Ew!" Aileen puckered up at the mere sight of him, swiping to the right to see her next choice. The next two failed to impress her. But the third, oh, it made her want to tap on his personality description and more! Upon hearing from the crystal ball, "This human dude is known for stopping the Griefers in their attempt to take over the entire Tooniverse. A snake claims to be his best friend, and this mage lives in a nearby town. And have I mentioned that his name is Quarter?!" Aileen nearly fainted at the lovely sound of his name, and said, "I have a match. Daddy, let's go get him." Her father, the King, was glad that he could continue the royal family, and so agreed satisfiedly. Yet the real question remained; how would Quarter fare? She paid no mind to this notion, as Aileen looked over the castles district of Far, Far Away.

The Kw6 Logs: Quelling for Quarter

I opened my mailbox, yanking a small box out of it. Slamming it shut with a loud clunk, I satisfiedly took a glance at the front of the envelope. It was labeled from my best friend Quarter. I ripped open the cardboard to find the gift he'd forgot to give me last time! It was a freshly melded magical pair of shoes, that would grant me the temporary power of flight… which was something that would be greatly helpful in battle, I must admit. I ignored the scrap of paper that fell out of the torn cardboard box, running inside to put on my new shoes.

Quarter's handwriting was scribbled on the back of the half-sheet, clearly reading, "THE MAGIC WORD IS BREAD." I chuckled at his choice, and commanded my shoes at the word. I was rising into the air as red sparkles flasher around me. I laid on my back into flying position, speeding around Toontown like Tinkerbell and Peter Pan did at large celebrations. Some civilians pointed at me, as I ducked between buildings and zoomed over streets. After what felt like a minute (In reality, half an hour), I was back at my house. I said, "Bread," and I was dropped to the ground. Laughing and smiling with glee, I stumbled into my house and took the amazing shoes off. I had to write back to Quarter about how much I LOVED his gift! However, the impact of my landing had caused the sheet to turn over, revealing a shocking announcement.

I will relay for you now what the sheet read; "Quarter and Aileen's will be married on planet Scotsania on September 10! Come join us in this splendid celebration!" Around the writing were pictures of a delighted princess holding hands, hugging and nearly kissing my best friend— however, he showed a stone-cold expression that clearly demonstrated his dilemma. Quarter had never mentioned ONE WORD about his and Aileen's "relationship." Something was very, very wrong. Therefore I knew that there was no more time to waste; and so, jumped into my ship cockpit, grabbed my P90s, Walkman, and hastily launched into the air, flying shoes in tow all the while.

I'd been to Quarter's home planet only twice before, first on a required camping trip by Bill Cipher (Long story short, he trained me to become another immortal reality warper) where I met Quarter, and second to check out Quarter's new home years later. I barely knew the route at all, using my built-in ship GPS to guide me. After a while my stomach rumbled, and so I docked at a nearby intergalactic diner and fuel stop for some grub. I refueled my ship, buying a fast food meal and eating it with the ship's limited autopilot on. I munched on a burger and fries and stuffed the wrapper into my overflowing trash can. At this time I remembered to plug my Walkman into the ship's sound system, playing my Classic Underrated Hits playlist to put me in a state for battle. Dire Straits and Van Halen's hard rock blasted through my speakers for the next hour. As Money for Nothing's opening riffs played, I caught sight of Scotsania. It was a decently sized planet, covered with many forests and a line of stone castles peeking out from the center. I was veered off course once entering the planet's atmosphere, however, by a dragon that suddenly slammed my ship to the side. My ship spun, picking up speed. I was able to slow it to a halt in midair, before the dark red dragon slammed into it again. Fire cracked the windshield, and I engaged my ship's blasters. Several shots ricocheted off of the dragon's thick hide, finally with one hitting a chain around the dragon's neck; the chain rattled, digging into the dragon's hide. I used the distraction to launch my ship headfirst into the dragon, causing my ship to be heavily impacted... but the dragon thankfully fell down.

Yet then, these nightmarish creatures attacked me and slowed down my ship. They had the heads of horses, yet the bodies of dragons; I assumed these monsters were the kin of their dragon parent, as they together clouded my ship's windshield. I sped up, swerving to the left and suddenly losing altitude. I engaged a wide turn to slow the fall of my ship. Within seconds I was clipping the trees, and to avoid a weirdly shaped stump my ship spun out and landed in a nearby ditch. A lime green figure rushed out of the stump, along with another. Cries emitted from the stump as I saw three small lime creatures hunched against a makeshift window. This didn't alarm me surprisingly, but did make me prepare for a brief battle.

I immediately turned off my Walkman, and got out of the cockpit. I readied my fists to pound some green creatures. One of the creatures was slamming on the ship's side door, and bellowed, "LET ME IN!" I slid the door open, bracing myself for an attack. "Hi folks. Sorry about your ditch," I greeted sarcastically as the two figures studied me. The bulkier one of the two figures roared at me, to no avail. "Was that supposed to scare me?" I asked, chuckling. "Yes, it was," the bulkier figure rasped, with a thick Scotsanian accent. "Who are you, and what do you want? Are you with Farquaad?!" The slightly smaller figure asked, putting up their fists. I drew my P90s, and responded, "To answer your question… I've come here to crash a wedding. My best friend is getting married to some princess. Would you two happen to know where said wedding is?"

"Well… I'm Shrek the ogre, and this is my wife, Fiona the ogre," Shrek, the larger creature, introduced themselves hesitantly. A frog croaked in the distance. "Are those your kids?" I asked, pointing to the three figures peeking through the makeshift window. "Yes," Fiona answered, hurrying inside the house to calm them down. "My name's Congelatio, but I prefer to be called Kw6." I greeted Shrek, holding out my hand for him to shake. Shrek stared at it awkwardly, and so I dropped it to my side. "Congelatio, huh?" Shrek commented, continuing with, "What a weird name." I was used to comments like this, and mocked Shrek; "Shrek's a weird name too." "What's in that ship?" He questioned warily, inching closer to my ship. "Blasters, a Walkman, the control systems," I blurted out to stop him. "A Walkman? Is that some soft of shoe?" Shrek rasped. "Actually, I use it to play music," I responded hastily. "So you have a living band… in your bloody ship? What kind of sorcery is that?!" rasped a confused Shrek. I laughed loudly, and explained; "You see, it has a tape that plays music on it. Music from bands, older bands… Shrek, do ya know Queen?" "The Queen? Yes," Shrek answered to my short lived relief. "What's your favorite song by them?" I tried to strike a leisurely discussion up with Shrek, in hopes of him being able to NOT beat me up. "What songs, the Far Far Away anthem?" asked Shrek. I shook my head. "Like, Don't Stop Me Now, Bohemian Rhapsody, and Another One Bites the Dust," I yelled. "What is a Bohemian?" Shrek questioned, and I avoided an answer because I didn't know. I tried to ask if he knew another band; "Do you know who The Beatles are?" He'd HAVE to have heard of them! "Yes…" Shrek said to my relief, but giggling; "They're on your fancy jacket."

I jumped and shook my jacket extensively. Black, huge beetles dropped to the ground, and Shrek picked up a handful and ate them. He disgustingly offered one to me. I shook my head and backed away from him. Just then, the same large dragon from before landed in the ditch, with a donkey riding it. "Shrek! I gotta tell you something!" The donkey hollered. I aimed my P90s at the dragon, and began blasting at the dragon rapidly. "CALM DOWN, CONGELATIO!" Shrek boomed, but I didn't dare let this dragon harm this ogre and his family. The dragon roared, and spewed flames out of its gaping jaw. With one swipe of its tail, I was thrown into Shrek's stump-house and knocked over the dining table.

Fiona approached me at once. "What did you do?" She asked me warily, saying it like how a mother would interrogate their young child. "That dragon out there— it's gonna kill you guys! I need to stop it!" I got up quickly, but before I ran outside to face the dragon once more Fiona stopped me. She explained, "Congelatio… that's Dragon, our friend. And-" I suddenly caught sight of the horrifying dragon-horse hybrids, and ducked for cover as one flew through the hole I'd created. "THOSE MONSTERS ARE GOING TO GET YOU! HIDE FOR COVER WHILE I BLAST THEM TO BITS!" I screamed, aiming a P90 at one of the flying atrocities. Fiona slapped the gun from my hand and said in an irritated voice, "Those are Dragon and Donkey's babies. You shouldn't hurt them, or their mom will get very upset." It took me a moment to understand; as who I assumed to be Donkey (it was, after all, a donkey who had burst through the front door) bursted through the front door, and scolded his younglings jokingly. The dust settled, and I caught sight of a donkey with a gray coat of fur and two white-tipped ears. "Who's this?" Donkey asked Fiona. "His name is Congelatio, and he's looking to save his friend from marriage. Ridiculous, right?" Fiona responded, chuckling. "Look! His marriage was forced and he's not happy, so that means I need to go out there and save him!" I childishly hollered. Donkey laughed heartily, as Dragon peered through the hole I'd created from her slamming me through the wall. Fiona shook her head. A large eye stared me down, and I raised my other P90 to it. "Don't mess with my ship ever again, you Dragon!" I barked loudly. She sat down like a dog on its hind legs, and the dragon-donkey babies leaned against her massive body. "Now now, honey, don't get too worried," Donkey said, as he trotted through the hole and comforted Dragon. Dragon emitted a strange purring noise when Donkey came near her, to my amazement.

After being introduced to the three "Dronkeys"— monsters that will forever haunt my nightmares, unless Bill has anything to say about it— their father Donkey, their mother Dragon, and Shrek and Fiona's younglings Fergus, Felicia, and Farkle, we began sharing stories. Shrek suggested storytime would be great for the six children because night had fallen already. "Where are you from?" Shrek presented the first question, along with some roasted beef, on a second-hand porcelain plate. "I was born in Ninjago, but I live in Toontown," I said between bites of the delicious home-cooked feast. "Toontown, huh?" Donkey asked. "Yeah. I'm not that rich though," I humbly responded. The room went silent for a minute, except for the cool night breeze blowing into the room. "We all live… here!" Fiona exclaimed, breaking the awkward tension. "Where I come from, these people called the Griefers of Griefertown keep trying to kill me, but thankfully they've not tried to recently," I explained to my friends. "That sounds like Lord Farquaad," boomed Shrek with a swig of his drink. "Who is he, anyway?" I questioned, because Shrek had asked me if I was with him during my landing. "Farquaad tried to get me to marry him!" Fiona interjected. Shrek nodded, and said, "That's how we met, honey. Remember the day when Donkey and I were going to take you back, and we first locked eyes?" Awkwardly, I blurted out, "Sounds like what's happening to my best friend right now." Fiona gave me a rude glance across the table. "When's the wedding?" Donkey interrogated me. I shrugged. "Wait a minute. Who is your best friend?" Shrek cocked his head and looked me in the eyes, saying this. I responded to the best of my ability; "Quarter Brine is my best friend. Do you know the location of Princess Aileen's castle?" Shrek stood up and exclaimed, "He's such a nice wizard! When the whole merge happened, Quarter fixed our whole bloody house and we didn't even have to lift a finger!" Fiona rolled her eyes. "You can see magic ten times more impressive than THAT in the Far Far Away castles district," she groaned. I returned a rude look at her. "You don't need to be biased, Princess," Donkey chuckled. The last word he'd said confused me, and so I asked further; "Princess? Fiona?" Shrek answered, "Long story short, Congelatio, she IS a princess. Her mom and dad live in the Far Far Away castles district, as do the other kings and queens. And probably miss Aileen too." Since I'd forgotten Dragon had been laying outside the stump-house all this time, her purring noise alarmed me greatly. "Dinner was great," Donkey complimented and trotted into another room to check on his younglings. At once the Dronkeys burst into the dining area, flying around all of us and snatching up some of our food. Fiona and Shrek acted like this was no big deal. I swatted away the more mischievous hybrid monster who was trying to nip at my jacket. Then I asked the most important question of all; "Will you help me?" Shrek shrugged, yet his gang insisted on helping me.

Later that night we began charting out our path to Far Far Away's castles district. We estimated it was about five hundred miles, or weeks' worth of travel time. But alas, the wedding was in two days. However my mind snapped back from this planet's very outdated technology's mindset and I realized that my ship could get us there in mere hours. Dragon was too large to be put inside the ship but then again she could carry some of us. I opted to man my ship, with Fiona joining me. Shrek tried to come in but the floor made a nasty creaking sound (he attributed this to his seven hundred pounds of "swamp stuff"). Therefore it was settled; the Dronkeys and the Ogre Triplets would be watched by Pinocchio starting tomorrow (a close friend of Shrek and Donkey's) while we crusaded Quarter's wedding.

Fiona and I got in the ship after she slept in late, and as a courtesy I showed the Princess to a bench. "Do you mind if I play music while we ride?" I asked Fiona. She shrugged, but was glad to be relaxing for once instead of dealing with chaotic children I assumed. I shuffled through the song selection of my Walkman, finally pausing on The Proclaimers' Walk 500 Miles song. It was goofy, sure, but it was actually made decades ago on Scotsania. And we were flying roughly five hundred miles to the castle after all. I fired up the ship engines after giving Dragon, Shrek and Donkey a head start, and we rose into the air. "This feels like I'm flying like Tinkerbell!" Fiona exclaimed as she glimpsed out the front window. "You get used to it after a few times," I responded, shrugging, as we launched forward and sped above the trees. Then I pressed play, and the endless da-lat-das started up.

Fiona and I were silent the entire way, as I was jamming out to The Proclaimers on an hour-long loop. I watched intently as my surroundings changed from a damp and low-lying swamp, to a massive expanse of grassy plains and forests. We flew low to the ground, right over a windmill and several farms. Then the castle district came into view; they all looked like one humongous, multicolored palace rather than many different castles. Perched on a grassy hill was giant letters that faintly read, "FAR, FAR AWAY." Fiona ordered, "Slow down!" I did so but stopped the ship in midair, then regaining a bit of speed to hover around the popular city. We docked in a grassy meadow close to the city entrance, and waited for about twenty minutes until Dragon landed. I paused my Walkman, unplugged it from the speaker system, and pocketed it.

"Welcome to Far, Far Away: Where Dreams Came True!"

When we had all finally arrived at the Far, Far Away city, Shrek showed our ensemble around the old-timey streets; sans Dragon, who was our eyes in the sky. These had been made of cobble! No vehicles were used, but horse-drawn carriages with wealthy celebrities meandered through the roads. Donkey looked longingly at one of the horses as we passed by, earning a loud snort from Dragon up above. "Shrek! Shrek!" Donkey hollered, blatantly annoying his companion. "What, Donkey?" Shrek asked calmly, and sighed with it. "Do you remember the time when I was a horse?!" Donkey questioned. "And I was a pretty boy? Yeah," commented the male ogre. Fiona pointed to the left of our crossroads, and explained briefly, "The castles district is that way." Sooner than later, we arrived at Aileen's castle. I drew my P90s and got ready to take on the guards, who were gazing longingly at a princess— was it Rapunzel? She was in a parallel tower, anyway, with a hand over her forehead and looking outside. Then to our convenience, the guards began fighting each other after noticing that they were staring at the princess together. Shrek gave a hearty laugh, and he slammed open the front gate to the castle gardens. The rest of us scrambled inside while the guards continued to brawl, and with his hooves Donkey kicked the gate closed behind our group.

Remembering an old Toontown myth about princesses while in the garden, I asked Fiona, "Is it true that princesses can summon birds through singing?" She looked taken aback at this, as did Shrek. But Fiona whistled without a further response, and several birds manifested themselves on her shoulders. I giggled childishly, trying to control my laughter with little effort. I studied our surroundings, noting that if need be we could pounce off of a bridge overlooking the garden and into some large shrubs for a quick escape. Strangely my Walkman resumed playing Walk 500 Miles by the Proclaimers, and I was the last to notice it. "Who has that music?" Shrek turned and stared me down from in front. "I like it!" Donkey proclaimed, and Fiona smiled. It took Shrek a moment of pausing and thinking to respond. "Fine," Shrek grumbled, turning back around and continuing to the front door. Later on, Fiona explained that the castle district had uncontrollable traces of magic, and the magic could tamper with electronics or mechanics (The real reason why there are no cars in Far, Far Away city) at any time.

As he did with the front gate, Shrek knocked open the front door, but with his head instead of his hands. He chuckled, and held it open for the rest of us to get inside. We were greeted with an elaborately decorated foyer area, sporting an expensive carpet made of (Donkey gasped at this) horse fur. At long last, someone paid attention to us; it was in the form of a castlehold cleaner. "Shrek and Princess Fiona, why are you here? And who is this special guest you have with you?" She asked, gesturing to me. "We're here for the-" I cut off Shrek's explanation, angering the ogre. "It's urgent business, you see. We need to get to the wedding area right now!" I hollered. Shrek grumbled at me, and I returned an apologetic expression to him. The cleaner's eyes grew wide, surprisingly, but she informed us; "The wedding area is straight through this hallway, then when you reach the dining room at the end turn left and you should be there! Don't be late!" Abruptly I raced down the hall, dual P90s suddenly in my hands, and nearly collided with a fancy chair. I took a step back, then charged and nearly broke the adjacent door in the process. "I'M COMING FOR YOU, BUDDY!" I hollered to no one, surprisingly. The church pews were empty! I'd been spited! Just then, the panting Shrek and Fiona caught up to me. Donkey was grinning per usual, but frowned when he came to my same realization. "Where's the wedding?" He asked nonchalantly, gazing around the pews for some people. Then the minister, dressed in a fancy hat and clothing, opened a door and greeted us.

"Where's Quarter?!" I nearly hollered at him, causing him to be somewhat confused. Then the minister seemed to recognize the name. "He's upstairs with his dressers, because we're doing a practice run of the wedding for tomorrow morning. Are you here for the practice?" The minister questioned me. I shook my head. "Should we get him?" Shrek whispered from behind. I shook my head once more. "We got spited, guys," I said a bit too loudly. The minister ushered us out, muttering about how I had gone mad, and locked us out of the church room. Slowly I walked down the hallway, noting the various expensive and heavy chandeliers that could be used as blockades in our escape. Shrek was disappointed, as was I. "Can't we just rescue him one day ahead of schedule?" Fiona questioned me. "Yes!" Shrek hollered, shaking the chandeliers with his voice. "Well, rescuing my best friend right during the wedding would make for an unpayable debt," I responded. "Congelatio!" Shrek disapprovingly rasped. I shrugged, answering, "What can I say? Us snakes are always down for repayment."

Skipping the dull parts… later that day, we enjoyed a nice lunch/dinner together at a local pub in Far, Far Away. Dragon was laying down on the roof of the place, causing the occasional creaking noise or the snapping of wood. But nothing fell down onto us during our meal, so thank goodness. Most hotels were booked already, so we stayed at the uncrowded yet overpriced Old Lady's Shoe. This was quite literally a giant shoe with rooms inside of it, but thankfully it's interior did NOT reek of foot odor or rubber. Shrek and Fiona claimed the biggest bed for themselves, while Donkey slept on the carpet like a dog and I took over the elongated couch. Dragon was napping in a nearby field, and probably had dreams of finding knights to eat on the very next day.

I awoke to the caw-caw noise of a rooster, a strange phenomenon that had to be explained to me by Fiona. Suddenly the noise was silenced; a loud gulp came from outside, followed by a very obnoxious burp. I had a pretty good idea of who the culprit was this time. Shrek opted for some breakfast pastries at a popular joint as Donkey woke up, and we headed off. I looked through the windows of stores, advertising the upcoming wedding as well as to beware of gold scams. We arrived at the quaint cottage-like exterior, heading inside and being greeted with someone obviously from another planet. The four of us got a booth with plenty of room for Shrek and Fiona to spread out. All of us ordered their specialty apple strudel pastry, and even got a massive helping for Dragon. Then we casually trotted over to Aileen's castle— even though I was incredibly anxious to save my best friend.

An alarming sight appeared in front of my eyes, in the form of an incredibly long line stretching all the way through the castle gardens and out past the front gate. There were going to be THIS many people at the wedding?! Chances were, one of them was a wizard and would try to zap me into oblivion. I looked at a large clock, and read that we only had about a half hour before the wedding. "Thanks for wasting our time, Shrek," I rasped. Shrek responded sarcastically, "Not like it's that important anyway." I groaned at him, then proceeded to brainstorm how we could get into the castle INSTEAD of waiting in that atrocious line. I thought about my best friend. What would he do in this situation? While thinking I grabbed my cassette player out of my pocket, and shuffled through my Walkman's song selection. I stopped at an underrated song, one that I hadn't remembered in a good while; Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners. I figured that Eileen was close enough to Aileen, making this a quirky way to alert Quarter to our presence. He would probably get the reference sooner or later anyway. Thinking of Quarter reminded me of his amazing gift, giving me the optimal idea. I whispered, "Bread," and I was suddenly airborne with my new flying shoes.

As I was gaining height, I motioned for Shrek and the crew to follow me. Together we discovered a narrow path running between the castle grounds and around their backsides; I was able to fly to the edge and landed, bowing like an actor would at the end of their play. Shrek slowly clapped, attracting some of the wedding's spectators to peer through the church windows at us. Shrek groaned for the third time that day. I grabbed my P90s from their holsters and prepared to blast my way into and out of a wedding. My anxiety was running higher than ever, as I waited for my best friend ("the groom") to appear. He did, but quickly afterwards Aileen appeared.

She was uglier than a princess should be… maybe it was just my negative bias towards her, or maybe it was fact. Aileen was locking arms with who I assumed to be her father, a King. I growled like a feral animal and began inching towards the gate "Jeez… calm down, Congelatio," Shrek grumbled. I didn't listen, but instead was forming the magic word in my mouth. As soon as the blaring organ noises played and Aileen stood next to a shaking Quarter, I knew this was my chance; and so, to the distrust of Shrek, I took it. Under my breath, I whispered, "Bread," and then I was airborne for the second time that day. I motioned for Shrek and the gang to break the gate, which I gracefully flew over— culminating in an epic smashing to the glass wall of the church, letting me break my way inside. I whispered, "Bread," and I began crashing the wedding at this time.

An annoying, high pitched screech emerged from the front. "HEY EVERYONE!" I hollered, as many of the wedding attendees rose to their feet. Suddenly guards rushed into the room, and I handled them easily. A few smacks to their heads, and they were out cold in the middle of the pews. Quarter looked insanely relieved; I hurried to the forefront of all this chaos, and proclaimed to the screaming crowd, "I came here for my best friend." They mostly went silent to contemplate my message, but some babies were bawling their eyes out. Quarter patted my shoulder. I felt an urge to speak, and took it; "You all may be asking, 'Why would a talking, walking and fighting snake crash some random wedding?' Here's your answer— Quarter here is my best friend. I couldn't just stand by while he gets forced into a bad marriage and a bad life!" Many attendees gasped and booed at me. "Don't call being royalty a… a bad life!" The King hollered from the back. I rasped, "Well then, it sucks to be you." Some of the people in the audience stifled back a faint laugh. Yet within a millisecond, Quarter's wife-to-be was upon me. I was knocked down onto the ground, sliding down some stairs as she tried to tear out my throat. I almost felt bad for Aileen… as there were tears flooding down her ugly face, but then again she was going to put my best friend in a life of torture. I slapped her as hard as I could, causing her to writhe and crumple to the ground. Most of the attendees kept screaming, but I quieted them down. I proclaimed loudly as I rose to my feet, "Look folks… love comes in all shapes and sizes. What I'd want in a partner is someone that can hold their own in defense, and one that I can enjoy being with. Someone that won't force me into something I don't want to do-" I stared Aileen down, then continued- "Or a future I don't want to have. And someone that I can pleasurably live life around. However, Aileen has forced Quarter into marrying her so she can have this…" I said this next part with intense sarcasm and near laughter… "'Happily Ever After.'" The entire crowd gasped and some of the knights that had risen up again were readying to arrest Aileen. Yet then, I watched from the glass as Shrek held up my Walkman and pressed play. The unstable magic forces had caused Come On Eileen to blast through the church.

A rather anticlimactic ending ensued, as Aileen was arrested for "Abuse of Princess Rights," as was her father. Strangely enough the wedding attendees started dancing to Come On Eileen, creating an awkward atmosphere for the arrest. A nearby knight interpreted this for me, and surprisingly was not incredibly upset whatsoever. "It was basically salutary neglect at this point… Aileen forced a man against his will to become her prince. She's been groping about having a Prince Charming for years now, but I guess she went to incredibly desperate measures for your buddy. I feel sorry for you," the knight explained. I apologized to him, "You know man, I'm sorry for knocking you out. I typically don't mean to hurt anyone, only if it means that my friends or family are at risk." The knight knocked on his armor, and commented, "Thanks. I wasn't knocked out though— it's just REALLY hard to get to your feet with a hundred pounds of iron on your back. I can understand why you'd say that, though." Just then Shrek, Donkey and Fiona burst into the room, with Dragon perching atop the roof and breaking it open. Many attendees cowered under the wedding pews or climbed over them to the door. A loud burst of flames emerged as Dragon caused the minister's headpiece to burn. Shrek and Donkey laughed, shocking many of the few remaining attendees. Suddenly Dragon's mouth inched downward, towards the kind knight I'd just been speaking to, and she swallowed him in one massive gulp. "Well, that's that," Shrek said as I approached him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME?!" I hollered at the lazy ogre. He chuckled in response; "Do ya really think we'd want to fight? I have kids to raise now! But you did give a pretty bloody good speech back there," Shrek nodded, and turned to face the hastily approaching Quarter. "I knew you'd save me, dude!" My best friend proclaimed, as flames radiated from his robe. He patted them down and summoned an incantation, causing all of the fire to vanish. Dragon leaped down from the roof of the now-destroyed church, her huge body shaking the ground for a second. Quarter said to her, "And I presume you're the culprit of all this burning?" He chuckled, as Donkey trotted up to Dragon to rub noses with her. "I guess our mission here.. is done," Fiona proclaimed. I shrugged. We walked back to our rides home as a group through the streets of the Far, Far Away castles district, laughing occasionally at Donkey's jokes.

Aftermath of the Quell

That night at the Poison Apple bar, Shrek's family and friends as well as Quarter and I were sharing a lively discussion. I planned to leave the following morning to take Quarter back home and then myself back to Toontown planet. Donkey and Fiona were going to pick up his Dronkeys and Shrek and Fiona's kids. We talked about the day's events, and shared stories about our travels. Shrek reminisced about the time when Red ruled over the Tooniverse, "...yes, we saw some ships flying over our home. Our stump broke when the ground shook, and the little ogres cried, but Quarter repaired it with some of his magic later," he explained, hand motions and all. Then Quarter told me something unsettling; "So… when you were talking about love, Congelatio, you mentioned some characteristics that you would want in a significant other. Now, I think I have a good idea who you were talking about..." He paused for a minute, studying my face. I remained as still and stiff as I could be. Shrek was intrigued, and murmured, "Mmm, this'll be interesting." "What're you talking about, guys? I was just, you know, throwing those characteristics out there for reference," I responded as nonchalantly as possible. Shrek and Quarter smirked at me, as Quarter whispered something to the male ogre. I was feeling very awkward, and fumbled for my P90s. "Fighting won't suppress the truth, Congelatio…" Quarter chuckled, and my pockets came up empty. "What did you do with my P90s?!" I hollered and readied my fists. Shockingly, Quarter was fidgeting with them in his hands. "Give them back to me, right now!" I screeched, and nearly lunged at my best friend. "Not until you confess who exactly you were describing, Congelatio," Shrek said and laughed. He burped grossly, like ogres do frequently. "No," I said firmly, following up with, "I wasn't describing anyone." Quarter STILL didn't believe me! I sighed, and proceeded to leave the Poison Apple bar. However Quarter caught my attention once more by saying loudly, "I think… I think you were talking about S-"

"Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth…"

Nova, the leader of Griefertown, climbed into a large Griefer ship vessel. He shut the door behind him, and sat down next to the ship's pilot, Golden Spark. Golden Spark had been frequently switching sides between Planet Creative and New Horizons City; he was slowly gathering intel for New Horizons City to launch an attack on Planet Creative, per Soister's constant demands. And he knew that at just the right moment, Planet Creative would enlist the aid of the Griefers and lead to the planet's utter downfall. Golden kept this all silent from Nova, as he was charting a path to Ninjago for him. Nova had hired some naive construction crews for the construction of the second Griefertown, or more accurately the first Griefer ship port. He'd surveyed the Frozen Wastelands and reached an agreement with the Ninjago City Mayor; unknowingly to both of them it was the birthplace of Congelatio, Nova's worst nemesis. This notion would quickly create a giant war between Ninjago and the Griefers, and later escalate to the interplanetary war that Golden had been hoping for. Golden Spark had finalized his path, informing Nova that it would take an entire day to get to Ninjago. Nova just wanted even more revenge than before, as Congelatio's two week banishment was "not nearly enough justice for the crimes that he committed," as Nova explained to his pilot. Nova grinned like a child as Golden lifted the ship off of the ground, finally launching out of Griefertown and into space.