Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at a songfic and at a CSI fanfic so please go easy on me.
Where Are You Now?
(A Songfic inspired by Britney Spears' "Where Are You Now?")
Sara Sidle wiped the tears that were flowing down freely on her cheeks as soon as she heard a knock on her apartment door. She stood up and walked towards the door, trying to act as if nothing happened. She opened the door and sighed with relief as she saw Gil Grissom standing before her.
"Are you alright?" Grissom asked as Sara gestured that he come in.
"Do I look 'alright' to you?" Sara asked Grissom. More tears were now rolling down her cheeks as she felt more pain than she ever thought she could handle.
Sara was usually tough due to a childhood no one could even imagine. Since then, she began to hide her feelings from the rest of the world. No one, not even Sara could've expected a certain Lab Rat could make her break down and cry.
"What's been happening, Sara?" Grissom asked her. He started to look around Sara's apartment and saw two Vodka bottles on her study. "Have you been drinking again? Would you care to tell me what has been going on? You haven't been answering our calls, you haven't been going to work and you're drinking."
"Leave it alone." Sara answered. The last thing she needed right now was another reminder of how their Lab technician, Greg Sanders, made her feel like there was nothing in the world but Greg, and how he broke her heart into a billion tiny pieces. Pieces that were so small, they could fit ten of them through the eye of a needle at the same time.
"Okay Sara…" Grissom answered her. "We're just worried about you. You know that for all of us, you're more than just a teammate and CSI. For all of us, you're family. If you ever need me, you know where to find me…" Grissom said as he made he opened Sara's door. After Sara heard the click of the door, she realized that she was now alone with her feelings… She then started to cry again and let the pain pass.
That night, as soon as Sara turned off the lights, she remembered all the times she had with Greg. From the very moment they met, up until the day that he broke her heart. Sara gave her heart only to one person. Others may say that she gave her heart to two people… But only Sara knew that that wasn't true. Her heart belonged to Greg Sanders, and Greg Sanders only… Just before she closed her eyes, one last tear trickled down her cheek as she remembered the last time she saw Greg, and the first time her heart shattered.
Flashback.
"Sara?" Grissom said as Sara walked past his office. "Could you bring these to Greg? I need to know if these are a match to the vic's blood."
Sara took the clear plastic zip bag with the bloody tissue inside and she started her way towards the lab where Greg was. As she was just about to round the corner, she heard Greg talking to someone but there was no answer. Quietly, she moved a little to see that Greg was talking to someone on the phone.
"Sure. I'll meet you tonight." Greg said. He paused for a while to listen to the person on the other line. "No, baby. I swear. I'm not seeing anyone else but you. Why would I look for someone else when I've already got the best? No one ever compares to you. I love you and that's that. No questions asked. Okay? Okay… See ya. G'bye."
As soon as she heard this, Sara dropped the zip bag and walked quickly outside. Her shift was over anyway. The last person who saw her was Catherine, who was also on her way home.
The last thing Sara remembered was breaking down as soon as she reached her apartment. Then, nothing else.
End flashbackNo one else, except Catherine saw her since that day. No one else heard her voice except Grissom. After that day, Greg never called Sara again. All that Sara could do now was wonder where Greg was… Or more specifically, where the Greg she knew was.
Every night, Sara would wait until her broken heart would put her to sleep. And the last thing she thought of every night before turning in was a wish. A wish that she could leave all her pain and heartaches behind. A wish that she could sleep forever and that she would never wake up in the morning again…
Calling out your name
Your face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that you're not there.
I wake up every night
To see the state I'm in
It's like an endless fight
I never seem to win.
I can't go on, as long as I believe
Can't let go, when I keep wondering.
Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart,
When I'm not around?
Where are you now?
You gotta let me know,
Oh baby, so I can let you go.
I can hear your voice
The ring of yesterday
It seems so close to me
But yet so far away
I should let it out
To save what's left of me
And close the doors of doubt
Without my dignity.
But I can't go on, as long as I believe.
Can't let go, when I keep wondering
Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart,
When I'm not around?
Tell me, where are you now?
You gotta let me know,
Oh baby, so I can let you go.
I should let it out
It's time to let you go
Oh baby, I just wanna know.
Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart,
When I'm not around?
Tell me, where are you now?
You gotta let me know,
Oh baby, so I can let you go.
Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart,
When I'm not around?
Tell me, where are you now?
You gotta let me know,
Oh baby, so I can let you go…