Guess whose back bitch! x)
Anyways, whoa, my life was crazy! I just graduated and started summer vacation :) Sorry for not updating for like forever, I was sooo busy in testing and preparing for graduation, that my time vanished! Dx But now I'm back with tons of free time and plenty of crazy-ass ideas! 8D *heart*
Anyways, a little inside story behind this story: I recently did a play on Snow White and fell in love with the story. Then after the play, the idea of adding Hetalia hit me. I started writing and yeah, this story was born! 8D
Please Note:
I can't type a French accent to save my life. ;A; I don't have any knowledge of the French language or accent or nothing (I never visited French-speaking place and I'm taking Spanish lmao) Sooo yeah, don't flame on that. I followed the basic rule of th=z, vo= you, amour=love, and non=no. I tired DX
I bad at English. REALLY BAD AT ENGLISH. I'm well aware. Don't comment on my grammar, please. I get enough of that from my friends, teachers, parents, etc. lmao xD
Snow White and all its plot and characters belong to the genius of Walt Disney the Disney the company.
Hetalia and its characters belong to another genius by the name of Hidekazu Himaruya.
This story in itself belong to the idiot aka me.
"Oh, you naughty girl."
"Can I join you ladies in the pool?"
"I like you better without a shirt.~ "
"Rome, we have a story to tell! Stop looking at those trashy magazines!" Germania shouted greatly irritated. Rome was always off drooling over those trashy magazines instead of reading to the kids!
"They're not trashy; there're pieces of treasure!" Rome quickly justified while holding them close to him for dear life. Oh shit, he was caught again; this wasn't going to be pretty.
"Well, put your "pieces of treasure" away way and read to the kids!" Germania commanded clearly mad.
"But why do I have to read to them?" Rome complained. Don't get him wrong, Rome loved the children and tell tales to them of his adventures and conquests, but the bedtime stories were just plain boring.
"Because, I've been reading to them ALL WEEK! It's your turn!" Germania said basically yelling. It's wasn't fair that he had to read to the children every night while Rome just irresponsibly slacked off.
"Fine." Rome quickly surrounded with an attitude.
As he walked towards the foot of the stairs, he mumbled something under his breath, "And you wonder why I get those magazines. I couldn't dream of getting that action from you."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Germania shouted in a threatening fashion overhearing everything.
"N-nothing." Rome lied with nervous sweat rolling down his face.
"Germania don't make that face, it scares me!"
"Germania, why are you picking up furniture!"
"Please don't kill me!"
One badly bruised Rome later…..
"Ok kiddies, it's story time!" Rome managed to smile despite having a sharp pain in every fiber of his body.
"Yay!" the future countries exclaimed with enthusiasm. They loved story time before bed, especially when it was by Rome!
"Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far, away…" Rome started only to quick sidetrack. "Germania! This story is boring! Does anyone even f***?" Rome complained.
"ROME!" Germania smacked Rome fiercely on the crown of the head. How could Rome use that language in front of the innocent children! Was he trying the corrupt the kids! Wait, hold on; never mind, we were talking about Rome.
"Owwwwwwwww" Rome murmured with a throbbing pain in his head.
"Read." Germania simply commanded.
"All right! All right!" Rome cowardly obeyed not wanting to be hit again.
Once again, he reread,
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far anyway; there lived two unquestionably and unrivaled beautiful women. One was a cruel, yet exceedingly gorgeous woman, the Queen. The Queen's name was England. Not only was England in love with herself, but she also fell for a handsome prince named America. However, her love for her supreme beauty and for America quickly bestowed her with bad case of paranoia. For if she was not the fairest in the land, she reasoned, than America would never love her. And that would be simply unacceptable. So every day, she would call upon her magic and notoriously perverted mirror, France.
"Magic Mirror, Magic Mirror, off the wall, who in this land is the fairest of all?" England asked excited and eager for the promised, uniformed response.
"My Queen, vo is za fairest of all." France simply replied, trying not to hint any signs of annoyance and attitude. This simple, boring tone was unorthodox and even foreign to France, for usually he was more exciting in his "speech" and "actions", but he has given up with this conversion long ago. Every day the Queen would ask this same exact question, and it was always the same answer every time. France grew tired of be summoned and having to answer the same question, every single day. Yet, he dare not disobey the Queen; for he was a forced laborer of hers long enough to know the dire consequences of being disloyal to the crown.
"Yes, you speak the truth frog." The Queen lightly commented while adoring herself, clearly fully absorbed in self beauty.
"I speak wiz the honesty of amour." France replied. For it was true, he wasn't the "master of amour" for nothing.
"Now leave frog." England rudely and ungratefully gestured.
"Yes my Queen." France immediately and unquestionably obeyed and silently left.
The other remarkably beautiful woman was the Princess, Canada. Canada was a quiet, timid, soft-spoken, extremely nice and unquestionably loyal girl. However, fearing that Canada's beauty would one day overtake the Queen's own due to her paranoia; the Queen, Canada's stepmother, made her dress in rags and forced her to do slave labor. Despite being abused and poorly dress, Canada's inner beauty shone though her uncleanness and altered appearance.
"Scrubbing these steps sure is tiring, eh?" Canada directed her comment towards her only companion, a polar bear named Kumajiro.
"Who are you?" Kumajiro asked having no clue of who was talking to him.
"I'm Canada." Canada snapped slightly annoyed. She was frankly tired of Kumajiro was always forgetting her name!
"I'm hungry." Kumajiro bluntly stated off topic.
"But I just feed you!" Canada replied surprised. Yeah sure, Kumajiro was a bear and ate a lot, but she just practically fed him a feast 5 minutes ago!
"Yeah, but I'm hungry again." Kumajiro admitted.
"You're always hungry!" Canada laughed.
"He's not the only one who's always hungry!" a happy and familiar voice jumped into the conversation.
"Eh?" Canada voiced surprised.
As a handsome figure elegantly approached, the voice's owner became clear.
"America!" Canada gasped with disbelieved. She hasn't seen him in years!
"Yup, that's me!" America pointed at himself with one of his award winning smile.
"W-What are you doing here" Canada shuttered still in shock from this unexpected visit.
"Well, officially I'm on state business, but I really wanted to visit you, Princess." America sincerely confessed.
"Well…um…oh…" Canada managed with a fierce blush across her face. She couldn't believe it! America come out of his way just visited her! She was taken backed by his actions. Also, possessing a deep, secret crush on him wasn't helping matters. She looked down deeply embarrassed by her actions. America simply smiled at Canada's cuteness and shyness.
"Ah, America." A voice greeted.
Surprised, the couple jumped and turned to see the cheerful face of the Queen, who was obviously just missed their moment.
"Your majesty." America politely and respectfully bowed.
"I welcome you to my beautiful palace." England said in a flirtatious and bragging matter. "Have you come for a visit?" England implied with a blushed, for she assumed that he came here just to visit her.
"Well, I'm on state business for my father, to a land far away. And it wouldn't be right to pass through your kingdom without a hello." America stated.
"Well, what a wonderful hello you made! You will stay for dinner, of course." England said clearly attempting to flirting and obviously wanting America.
"Ahhh I-I'm sorry, I can't take off the offer. I'm running late as it is." America said attempting not to offend the Queen for if he did, she or his father would surely have his head.
"Well, um, that's fine, I guess…" England trailed off, shocked from the uncalled-for rejected.
"Well, I guess, good-bye your majesty and Princess Canada." He said quickly bowing and flashing a special smile towards Canada.
"Good-bye!" Canada waived happy and with a renewed blush on her face.
"Yes, good-bye." England sourly bid farewell.
After America was out of sight, England commanded Canada without facing her. "Canada I want you to scrub every stair of the palace- twice." England bitterly commanded on the vague of losing self-control.
"Y-yes stepmother." Canada unquestionably obeyed, fearing England's next move. She hastily grabbed her bucket and Kumajiro, and run off to fulfill her insane chore.
Managing to control her rage, England moved quickly to consult her mirror.
"FRANCIS!" England shouted at the top of her lungs, clearly pissed off.
"Yes, my queen?" France replied softly and completely dull, for he knew that England was filled with rage and was very dangerous due to her current emotional state.
"Why didn't America stay!" England angrily screamed at the mirror, looking for a rational answer; if there even is one.
"Maybe because of your bad cooking?" Francis quietly whispered in a low tone so the Queen wouldn't hear what he said.
"What!" England asked flushed and still angry, clearly missing France's offensive comment.
"I-I don't know. M-Maybe he really was late…?" France badly lied, clearly pulling it out of his ass.
"Lie to me, Francis, and I will shatter you into a million pieces!" England angrily and powerfully threatens, intending to carry out her threat to the fullest extent.
"Non! Non! Don't do zat!" France desperately pled, for he wished to live.
"Then honestly answer me!" England commanded with a threatening, high voice.
"My queen, Angleterre, the truz of amour must be told. Amerique doesn't love vo." France admitted with honestly and did everything in his power to avoid eye contact. Suddenly, a hand mirror hurled through the air and missed France by only a hair.
"YOU BLOODLY LIEING FROG! AMERICA DOES TO LOVE ME! AMERICA MUST LOVE ME! FOR I'M THE FAIRIEST IN THE LAND- IN THE WHOLE WORLD!" England screeched with intense emotional mixture of angry and sadness. England angrily and fiercely advanced to France until they were almost touching. With eyes hazed with fear, France examined England's face to discover an unusual sight. Her face was inflamed with a cherry color and- was that tears in the corners of her eyes! Filled with utter fear and the apparent feeling that the situation was spiraling out of control, France remained silent.
"Francis." England said in a low voice, almost sounding innocent. France looked up only to be locked into eye contact with England. Satisfied with the eye contact, England started asking her notorious question, "Mirror, Mirror, off the Wall, who in this land is the fairest of all?" England asked the question with a sinister smile painted on her face.
Knowing that lying was now futile, France had no choice but to answer the truthfully, despite the dire consequences of his answer. "My Queen, you are beautiful, sexy, and I want you in my bedroom, but I can't lie. The fairest in the land is-"He paused taking a deep breath and preparing himself for the Queen's reaction. "Canada." He bluntly said, sealing his and the Princess' faith.
"What." England hissed in disbelief. She couldn't comprehend the idea of herself not being the fairest in the land.
"'Tiz true." France blankly confirmed.
England snapped. "Impossible! I'm the fairest in the land!" England sharply countered with clear anger.
"You w-were." France shuttered legitimacy fearing the Queen's wrath.
"How did her beauty surpass mine! She was dressed in rages and covered in filth for Christ's sake!" England questioned with hostility.
"Angleterre, vo must look deeper, to ze inside! Canada's heart is pure and warm and nice!" Francis answered back justifying his answer.
"B-but I'm beautiful in the inside too! I'm the bloody nicest person ever! I let that bloody git live! I could have very well easily deposed of her, but no, since I'm a nice person, I took her in. And don't you forget frog; you are only still breathing out of my kindness!" England openly protested.
"Clearly you are the nicest person that ever lived." France mumbled under his breath.
"Don't you dare mock me, you bloody wanker!" England snapped overhearing France's offensive and sarcastic comment. Bloody frog.
Francis wasn't about to test her and played his cards right by remaining silent.
Cooling down slightly and regaining the ability to logically think, England began pacing in an effort to devising a plan to be once more the fairest in the land. "Hm, if the frog speaks the truth and if indeed that wanker Canada is the "fairest in the land" then I must depose of her. But how….?" England thought aloud, leaving all her options open. "Hm, maybe I'll poison her food." England suggests only shooting it down moments later, "No, no, there's no reason to waste perfectly good cooking and poison on that wanker."
"You wouldn't need poison; your cooking itself will be enough to kill the poor girl." France casually remarked, no longer fearing England's wrath.
"Silence frog!" England snapped back. Christ that wanker was so annoying and cocky!
"You know, you look sexy when you're mad and so serious." France lightly commented returning to his tropical perverted self.
"Sod off!" England snapped again. She wasn't in the mood to deal with France right now! Bloody hell, why is it so hard to find good, helpful, servants these days? Wait…good…helpful…loyal…
"Fetch me the Huntsman, frog!" England suddenly commanded France like he was nothing more than an animal. Nevertheless, France obeyed with a simple nodded and left to summon the Huntsman.
Yes, Japan is perfect! He is unquestionably loyal and successfully completes very task flawlessly and without question. As the Queen thought about this malevolent deed, an evil grin crept on her face.
"My Queen." An Asian man said while respectfully bowing. Speak of the devil, here he was!
"Huntsman, I have work to you." England said with authority and impatience in her voice.
"Yes my Queen?" Japan asked with a premature willingness to obey whatever his queen asked of him out of habit and personality.
"I want you to take the princess Canada into the forest- deep into the forest. I no longer wish to have that git in my sight….kill her." England demanded with wickedness and power imprinted in her voice.
"Kill her!" Japan repeated in total disbelief, no longer blindly showing obedience.
"Kill her!" England repeated clearly meaning every word.
Japan sunk to his knees and made a futile, desperate plea, despite common sense telling him that once the Queen had her mind set on something, it was over."Ask anything of me, my Queen. But, no, not that! Not the little princess! She's good and so kind!" Japan pled with all of his might; hoping by some grace of God, he would convince the Queen to abandon her deed. Nevertheless, his plea was fruitless.
"Silence!" England screamed with rage and annoyance bursting through her voice. "Listen, wanker. I can easily make your bloody, little life miserable." England threatened, putting great epenthesis on the last word.
Once Japan accepted that the situation was hopeless, he surrenders to the Queen's superior power. "Hai, my Queen. It shall be done. The young Princess shall…die." Japan obeyed, truly not the hint his clear regret and discontent.
"Brilliant! Go on, return to me when your task is completed. Bring me her heart as proof that the git is dead." England evilly smiled, clearly pleased at Japan's unfailing obedience.
"Hai, my Queen." Japan agreed to the term, again clearly discontent and sorrowful. He then quickly yet respectfully left, obliviously wanting to leave.
Once Japan left, England broke into a wicked, hideous laugh of pure insanity, "When she dies, I will be the bloody fairest in the land! Beautiful, beautiful! I was once again be the sodding fairest in the land! Farewell forever, Princess Canada!"
Yay! Ch. 1 done :D *heart*
And OMFG IT'S SOOOOO LONG SORRY TO PUT YOU GUYS THOUGH THAT! )':
But, honestly, I hope you guys liked it and this story so far ^^ *heart*
I look forward to updating *heart* x)
(All badly attempted French accent translations are at the top)