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The Continuing Adventures of Bo Glomp!
Starring in the NGE FanFic, 'Lucky Seven'…
NOTE - 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' is Copyright 2003 by Gainax. This Fan-Fiction is a Non-Commercial work by a Fan, done in the spirit of the Parody and Satire provisions of the Copyright Act. None of which guarantees that such notions of 'Decorum', 'Taste', and 'Decent Writing Abilities' will be evident in this work.
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Once again, the Interdimensional Maelstrom inserted Bo into another Storyline…
…In a somewhat undignified manner…
"EEK!" Bo suddenly found there was no ground beneath her feet, and fell off balance to a hard landing on a concrete floor.
"Ouchies!" Bo slowly picked herself up from the floor, one hand massaging away the pain in her bruised posterior.
"Where am I this time?" Bo asked plaintively, looking around with some concern.
All around Bo, expanses of bare concrete floor ended at walls that disappeared into the gloom far overhead. Here and there, industrial gantries and walkways adorned the towering walls like forgotten spider webbing.
'Looks… normal?' the sight made Bo pause, 'So am I 'normal' this time?'
With a nervous tremble, Bo held her arms out in front of her…
The sight of fairly standard Human arms ending in hands that had four fingers and a thumb was reassuring, as was the fact that the skin colour was well within Human ranges, even if the actual skin texture seemed oddly bland and subdued.
Bo breathed a sigh of relief, 'Looks like I'm Human at least…'
A quick check revealed that Bo was dressed casually enough in jeans, sneakers, and some type of 'fake' military surplus shirt with long sleeves and multiple pockets.
'Action Girl Fashion…' Bo decided, 'But no accessories to back that theory up… No Swiss Army Knife… Not even a watch?'
"Ah, Ms Glomp!" the cheery greeting seemed out of place in the situation, and snapped Bo back to the realisation that once again, she had a role to play, in a World she never made, a World she had even less say about being in…
An Asian woman stood nearby, long dark purple locks framing a face with a warm but mischievous smile. Compared to the surroundings, the woman was dressed in an incongruous combination of conservative red miniskirt, black turtleneck skivvy, red jacket, red beret, and knee-length black suede boots with hi-heels and matching black nylon stockings… A small white cross hanging from a necklace completed the ensemble…
"I'm Misato," the woman announced with a wave of her hand, "Misato Katsuragi! Glad to meetcha!"
Bo waved back, uncertain of the proper form of reply.
"We'd better hurry up," Misato advised as she turned and walked off, "Ritzee's been waiting longer than is gonna be healthy for either of us!"
"Rih-Ritzee?" to her vast relief, Bo found that her voice worked more or less normally, despite the stammer.
"Doctor Ritsuko Akagi!" Misato threw back over her shoulder, "Head Honchette of the Computing and Research Departments - But don't call her Ritzee to her face though, it pisses her off!"
"Orl…" Bo choked on the word, she swallowed hard to clear her throat, then continued in a more normal voice, "…all right…"
The Mysterious Misato led Bo through a labyrinth of tunnels, escalators, and armoured bulkheads until they reached the destination of…
…a relatively ordinary locker room, much the same as any changing room one would find in a Gymnasium, or at a Swimming Pool…
"You'll want to freshen up first," Misato helpfully offered, "The showers are over there…"
Bo soon found herself alone beneath warm jets of water. The mundane routine of washing helped her relax a little…
'What have I gotten into now?' Bo asked herself, 'This looks like another Animated Manga World… Maybe a bit on the 'semi-realistic' side, but still-'
Bo finished her shower, only to start in surprise as a strong current of warm air suddenly sprang up all around her, blow-drying away the watery remains of her ablutions.
"Change into these," Misato's unexpected voice jolted Bo from her reverie. Blinking, she turned her head to notice Misato offering a parcel of something. Patches of red, white, and sky blue mingled randomly within the confines of a transparent plastic wrapper.
"Ah… Thanks…" Bo said as much as she felt able. She reached out for the parcel of what she assumed were clothes, only to stare in dismay at the one-piece baggy 'body suit' that unfolded when the parcel opened.
"Um… Underwear?" Bo timidly asked, after staring at the mostly sky blue suit in some confusion.
Misato seemed taken aback, "Underwear? Oh no, you just wear the Plug Suit. You'll be in a sort of 'Clean Room' environment…"
Bo nodded slowly, her mind busy with the unspoken implications that… 'Oh Great! I'm a Guinea Pig again…'
Bo started to put a foot into the leg of the Plug Suit, when she noticed Misato was still hanging around.
"Err…" Bo wasn't sure how to say it, "Could- Could I have a bit of time to myself first?"
"Need to psyche yourself up?" Misato seemed mildly concerned, "All right, but don't take too long…"
Bo breathed in relief as Misato left her alone in the room.
'Actually, it was Privacy I wanted,' Bo kept her comment to herself, 'But since I'm not sure what situation I'm actually *IN*…'
Bo stopped and took a deep breath, "Wonder if there's a mirror in here?" she murmured under her breath, taking her foot from the leg of the Plug Suit.
There was a full length mirror in the first locker Bo opened, and so, Bo was finally able to see what she looked in her Current Reality…
Bo stared at her reflection…
The person looking back was slim and trim, a lithe and athletic body with a decidedly light-skinned Caucasian appearance. Tresses of short black hair hung in a fashionable mane from a face with blue eyes and clear skin.
"Thank God!" Bo sighed in happy relief, her gaze roving over the vision before her, "I look normal! Not like the 'Silicon Cows' that often crop up in Animated Manga Worlds… This might not be so bad after all!"
The comfortable looseness of the suit Bo draped over herself only reinforced her frame of mind.
Feeling better about the world she was in, Bo walked over to the doorway, her hands pulling up the baggy suit that seemed to want to pool around her knees.
Misato smiled on seeing Bo, "Sorry! I should have told you to press the buttons on your left wrist…" Misato reached out to the bracelet around Bo's left wrist and pressed two rectangular red buttons.
SCHWIP! The sound was not unlike someone sucking air from a plastic bag…
"EEP!" Bo gasped as loose fabric suddenly snuggled up to her bare skin, pressing firmly against her body in places that brought an instant blush to her face…
"AH!" Bo spluttered, "Ex-excuse me a minute!" She turned and dashed back into the changing room, trying to ignore the faint 'SCHWIF-SCHWIF' noise as her tautly encased thighs rubbed over each other.
"Oh My God!" Bo wailed at seeing her NEW appearance in the mirror…
The formerly loose fabric of the Plug Suit had literally become a sky blue 'second skin' over much of Bo's body, hugging tightly enough to outline the shifting muscular tensions under the skin beneath it…
…and as for Bo's 'non-muscular' womanly curves…
Bo blushed a deeper shade of red at the amount of 'support' the suit gave the curves of her 'pectoral regions', then turned her back to the mirror and checked out her 'rear view'.
"At… at least there's no visible Panty Lines…" a weak smile trembled over Bo's face as she tried to find some good news in the situation.
The smile rapidly faded as the inevitable thought occurred… 'If it fits me this close just standing up… how much will it 'ride up' if I get active?'
Fearing the worst, Bo shifted her legs apart and bent completely over from the waist, looking through the V of her legs at the upside-down reflection in the mirror behind her.
To Bo's relief, the fabric tightened in a uniform curve that encased both buttocks, rather than 'lift and separate' or 'ride up' between them. She straightened up, then looked hesitantly behind her…
…the seat of the suit was still a uniform curve…
"It's no worse than wearing a Leotard!" once again, Misato's voice startled Bo out of her personal thoughts, "…or Nylon pantyhose for that matter…"
Bo was too embarrassed to look at Misato.
"Don't worry!" Misato continued in a comforting voice, "…it makes you look Great! You've got nothing sagging anywhere…"
Bo's blush deepened…
- - - - - - - - - -
A red-faced and very self-conscious Bo followed Misato from the changing room. As she walked, Bo tried not to notice if anyone was 'staring' at her…
Bo looked away in embarrassment as they passed two Male technicians who were crouching at an open access shaft.
"…suspension… lift…" the barely heard comments sank into Bo's ears.
WHACK! CRUNCH! THUG-BASH-WALLOP! Bo's reaction was instinctive, instantaneous, and insanely intense…
"Ahem?" Misato coughed discretely, "You might want to save some of that for the Test?"
Bo blinked in absolute dismay at the sight of two Male technicians lying unconscious on the floor, the badly dented duo no longer having a technical discussion on the lift well mechanical system they'd been working on…
"I- I'm sorry!" Bo wailed, close to tears.
"There, there," Misato laid a consoling hand on Bo's shoulder, "I understand! You don't have to worry about anyone making 'uncouth comments'…"
"I don't?" Bo grasped at the glimmer of hope.
"Of course not!" Misato confirmed, "We have a strict workplace policy about 'Sexual Harassment' around here! Anyone being 'obnoxious'…" Misato lifted the corner of her jacket up, revealing a shoulder holster with a semi-automatic pistol in it, "…gets 'fired', as per the Commander's Official Order…"
- - - - - - - - - -
Eventually Bo and Misato arrived at their final destination…
…An immense room shrouded in pitch darkness, and filled with the soft murmur of lapping water…
CLAK… CLAK… CLAK… The sounds of banks of overhead lights turning on rattled through the room, their sudden luminescence revealing a lake of strangely orange solution from which an olive drab island protruded…
"What- What's THAT!" Bo exclaimed, one hand pointing at the greeny-brownish blob that looked suspiciously like the head of a semi-sunken Giant Humanoid Robot.
"That's your EVA," Misato proudly informed, "Unit 7…"
Bo suddenly remembered that the Plug Suit she was almost exposing herself in had the numbers '07' on it.
"At last! You're FINALLY here!" The new voice sounded irritated, and belonged to a blonde woman in a 'less than conservative' black leather miniskirt, black stockings, low heeled dress shoes, white lab coat, and zipper-pull top that hugged her buxom curves as tightly as a Plug Suit, "I swear Misato, this is the LAST time I get you to guide anyone around here!"
"Sorry Ritsuko!" Misato directed an apologetically cheesy smile at the newcomer, "But you know how big this place is!"
"Hmmph!" Ritsuko dismissed Misato's apology, then ran a calculating gaze over Bo and stated rather than asked, "Well Seventh Child, ready to Pilot EVA?"
Bo suddenly had the sinking feeling that she might be in REAL trouble…
- - - - - - - - - -
"If you'll take a seat?" Ritsuko gestured impatiently towards a large white tube that looked like an over-sized sex toy…
"I have to get in that?" Bo was incredulous.
Ritsuko sighed, "You get in the Entry Plug, then we insert the Entry Plug into the EVA and connect you neurally to the EVA via the Entry plug…"
The light dawned on Bo in a most unsettling manner, 'Entry Plug? 'Insert'? How!? WHERE!? Geez! I wondered about things when I saw how this suit tightened up, but now I know for sure that someone's gotta be 'compensating' Big Time!'
"So… you're saying…" Bo said slowly, shelving her well-founded suspicions, "…the tube is really some sort of… 'cockpit'?" Bo winced at her choice of terms, "One that is really some sort of Tele-presence interface?"
"YES!" Ritsuko stressed the one word, then put her hand to her face and wearily rubbed her temples, her lips barely mumbling in exasperation, "…where do they find these people…?"
"It's Okay!" Misato's smiling face tried to restore the social ambience, "You just sit in there, and we try to hook you up…"
Bo nodded and sat herself down in the confines of a reclining seat within the long white cylinder. With a rumbling of servos, the hatch closed with a thunk. The sudden movement of the entire tube made Bo grab the control handles and hang on as the tube rose and swayed through the air. The sudden tilting and slow downward movement of the tube caught Bo by surprise, and her grip on the control handles tightened.
"Pilot?" Ritsuko's voice came from everywhere and nowhere, "We'll attempt neural connection after filling the interface environment with LCL…"
"LCL?" Bo didn't understand the comment. A sudden gurgling noise from the lowest end of the tube answered her question.
"AHH!" Bo yelled in terror, "I've sprung a leak! How do I abandon ship?"
Misato's laugh sounded, "It's all right Bo! That's just the LCL. It's a BREATHABLE liquid! You won't drown in it, but it will feel strange when you start breathing it…"
"What do you mean 'START breathing it'!?" Bo almost shrieked as the orangey fluid flowed up the tube towards her. She struggled up out of her seat and tried to crawl to the uppermost end of the tube.
"Pilot!" Ritsuko's voice snapped back, steel tones overpowering any pretence at politeness, "Sit in your seat! Wait until the LCL covers your head, then exhale all the air from your lungs, and slowly, SLOWLY, inhale the liquid!"
Bo hesitated, then slid back into her seat, shuddering as her feet and lower legs sank into the unexpectedly warm fluid.
"Muh-misato?" Bo stammered, the LCL passing her hips, "A-about this LCL stuff?"
"Yes?" Misato's voice sounded more sympathetic than Ritsuko's had.
"Dih-Does…" Bo swallowed hard as the rising LCL caressed its way across her chest, "…DOES MY PLUG SUIT GET TRANSPARENT WHEN IT GETS WET?"
The last thing Bo heard before the LCL covered her face was Misato's laughter and the barely coherent reply of "NO! It doesn't!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Breathing LCL reminded Bo of trying to breathe through only one nostril…
…a nostril partly clogged with mucus… Something that can be done, but only at a much slower pace than a normal breath, and with much greater conscious effort on the part of the muscles responsible for breathing…
Seeing as she had no other choice in the cramped confines of the Entry Plug, Bo had followed orders to the letter, waiting until the LCL had covered her face, then exhaling.
Inhaling was another matter…
Bo had been wary, taking some of the LCL into her mouth for 'taste test' first off. The LCL had a faint coppery taste, and made her teeth feel a bit like she'd been chewing aluminium foil. The LCL didn't feel fizzy like the orange soft drink it looked like, and unlike either soft drink or water, it barely seemed to weigh anything in her mouth. The liquid's texture was another matter, rather than the quick swish of water, it had a slower 'body' to it, like milk. But it was warm, and had a vague, tantalising salty-sweetness barely on the edge of perception.
'Here goes nothing,' Bo thought grimly, psyching herself up for her first attempt at 'breathing' the liquid around her.
Bo choked on the first attempt, her body trying to clear its windpipe of what it knew would only choke it to death if it went down 'the wrong way'. She steeled herself, and tried again, trying with some success not to cough out the strange feeling that wormed and trickled its way down into her lungs.
"How are you?" Misato's voice was back, and obviously concerned.
"Just- *COUGH*" Bo stopped to control herself and get over the unnerving tickle in her voice box, "…peachy…"
"You'll get used to it," Misato was just One Big Reassurance, "The others did…"
"Uth- HURGH!" Bo choked again, "…others?"
"I'll introduce you later," Misato promised, "Now though-"
"We'll initiate the Interface Synchronisation," Ritsuko's dry tones interrupted.
The walls of the cockpit around Bo suddenly shimmered, colours changing, sliding, flowing, and… finally focusing into a 360° view of the hangar the EVA was in.
"Primary Sensory Interface level attained," Ritsuko said in an 'about time' sort of voice, "Initiating Secondary Interface-"
Bo's world suddenly went dark…
- - - - - - - - - -
The darkness existed. And yet, it didn't.
Bo looked around her, there was nothing but black. And yet…
"If there's no light…" Bo muttered, holding a clearly visible hand up in front of her face, "Why can I see my hand?"
"Because it's part of the persistent 'internal universe' within your mind…" the voice was Male, youngish, and sounded both sad and friendly.
"Who's there?" Bo nervously asked the darkness around her.
"Just me…" part of the darkness resolved into a tall slender young man garbed entirely in dark shadows. Shoulder length black hair swept around a handsome face, one with a lonely expression intensified by piercing dark eyes.
"Um…" Bo was NOT up to speed with things as they were, and recent developments were leaving her even further behind, "…i'm bo… bo glomp… pleased to meet you mister… err… mister?"
"Arisato," the young man bowed elegantly, "Arisato Amai…"
"Pleased to meet you, Mister Arisato…"
"Mister Amai, actually," a gentle smile eased the facial expression, "Arisato is my… given name… I was trying to follow your Western tradition of putting my surname last…"
"Sorry…" Bo fell silent, fidgeting self-consciously at her faux pas.
"…and please," Arisato drew closer, his eyes looking deep within Bo's "…call me Ari…"
Bo blushed at the way the handsome young man's gaze was NOT roving over her scantily clad body as she'd feared it might, but instead, calmly looked past the outward appearance of her body to deep within her, down to the core of her soul in a way that any girl knew intimated respect, friendship, devotion, adoration and true love…
"…and I'm the soul that was originally trapped within your EVA…"
Bo blinked at the sudden change to what she hoped her story would be…
- - - - - - - - - -
"But first…" Ari broke his gaze into Bo's eyes, and looked about the darkness around them, "I think we should do something about…" he sighed deeply, "…this place…"
Bo shook her head, trying to compose herself, "Wha-what do you mean?"
Ari laughed, a gentle chuckle that spoke of a good-natured personality, "We are within the Mind Space of your EVA. We both exist as ourselves, because we existed as separate, self-aware entities before we entered EVA. But EVA is a blank slate, and now my dear, it's your turn to draw what you will on it…"
"…draw…?"
"Our pre-developed thoughts define ourselves here," Ari waved a hand around him, "Since EVA has no developed thoughts, we can create what world we will. Here…" Ari held out a hand, "Take my hand and I'll show you the world I've made…"
Bo paused, then held out a hand. Ari took her hand in his, a warm contact that said this was no cold phantom, but was a warm-blooded man. Bo blushed again.
The darkness suddenly changed into shadows that sped past at a dizzying speed on all sides, left, right, above and below…
…The sudden appearance of a tastefully appointed apartment room came as a complete surprise…
Muted lighting shone from behind semi-concealed wall brackets, leaving no shadows on the walls or on the expensive looking carpet that ran between them. Green palms and ferns sprang from terracotta pots beneath halogen down lights. Lounges and reclining chairs finished in leather sat like islands on the carpet, forming a semi-circle around a large screen entertainment unit and Hi-Fi. Bookcases adorned the wall behind the seating, while the other sides of the room saw carpet becoming tiles in an open plan kitchen, and carpet flowing through a doorway and into a master bedroom.
Bo blushed furiously at the sight of a large silken-sheet clad bed…
…So did Ari, when he noticed where Bo was looking…
"It's not like THAT Miss!" Ari pleaded, his hand suddenly letting go of Bo's to flutter about in front of his red face in embarrassment, "A guy's got to have a place to sleep, and… and when I was making this place up… I… I…"
"So… You're not trying to seduce me?" Bo's voice scandalised her with the amount of disappointment in it.
"Of course not!" Ari protested, "I'm Gay!"
Bo blinked again…
- - - - - - - - - -
"Err… Would you like a drink?" Ari flustered, trying to resolve the social situation into something more amenable, "Or something to eat?"
Bo was surprised, "You've got food and drink in here?"
Ari shrugged, "Of course! Anything you remember, you can have, just as you remember it, or…" Ari smiled, "…just as you WANT to remember it! Unfortunately, as you're in 'my' space, anything that's created has to come from my mind…"
Bo looked around the room, "Then this… Is all from your… mind?"
"Yes," Ari shyly admitted, "…it's all based on what I remember from when I was still alive…"
Bo started to sweat nervously, "But… But you're still alive? Aren't you?"
"Only in here, dearie!" Ari's smile became forced, then he sighed and turned towards the kitchen, "I'm sorry, but it looks like you don't know as much as you should… And if I'm going to tell you what I can, I'M going to need a drink…"
"Can I have one too?" Bo called out.
"Sure!" Ari called back as he opened the fridge, "What would you like?"
"Johnny Walker on the Rocks, Neat!" Bo plopped herself down into one of the thickly upholstered rocker-recliner chairs.
"Johnny Walker???"
"Don't have it?" Bo's dismay was fleeting, "Oh well then, any Beer will do…"
"…"
When no reply came, Bo looked over to where Ari was. Ari stood as if frozen, staring at Bo in an extremely nervous, almost frightened manner.
"What's wrong?" Bo asked uneasily, dreading the unknown answer.
"Um… Miss Glomp?" a sheen of sweat adorned Ari's brow, "I'm sorry, but I really don't think anyone as young as you should be drinking alcohol?"
Bo smiled, "Flatterer! Despite being Gay you really know how to make a Girl's day, don't you?"
Ari blinked, "Ah? Miss Glomp? I don't know what country you come from, but here in Japan, it's illegal to give alcohol to minors…?"
Bo laughed, "Sorry to tell you this, but I haven't been a 'minor' for the best part of a decade!"
"WHAT??" Ari stared at Bo in disbelief, "Why are you Piloting an AVE?"
Bo sighed, her good mood rapidly dissipating, "That's a long story…"
"I've got time to listen…" Ari held two bottles of what looked like 'designer beer', "But first? How old- I mean, are you really over the age of Twenty-One??"
"I prefer the term 'Twenty-One Plus'," Bo sadly replied, "Just because I'm an adult, doesn't mean I like to be reminded of how long ago my youth was…"
The sound of someone sucking the contents out a bottle like their life depended on it sounded briefly in the room. Bo stared as Ari put the first bottle down then chugged the second.
"Miss… Glomp…" Ari sounded less uptight than he had, but somehow strangely formal, "Are you aware… That EVA Pilots have to have been born within a certain time frame? Which at today's date, would make them either 14 or 15 years old?"
Bo's expression said it all.
"I thought so," Ari sighed, reaching for more bottles…
- - - - - - - - - -
"I'm supposed to be ONLY 14!?" Bo stared at Ari, "OR 15!?"
Ari nodded, placing his latest emptied bottle down on the coffee table.
"And I'm dressed like THIS?" Bo demanded, "WITH A BODY LIKE THIS??"
Ari blushed, and nodded.
Bo simmered silently, 'No wonder sleazes get 'fired' as Misato put it… RIGHT! That's IT! The first creep that tries ANYTHING with me gets force-fed their own Gonads! RAW!'
"Itsh," Ari paused, then tried again, "…its… something to do with the… with the whatsis… semi-developed mind… sike-psycho-logical changes occurring during bourgeois… I mean… burgeoning adolescence… Orr… it could juzz be a case of sosh-socially accepted Lolita Complex…"
"Are you drunk?" Bo felt no small concern at the thought.
"Nahhh…" Ari sighed, "…snot reeel booze… hime okay to drive officer…"
"Tell you what," Bo offered diplomatically, "Today, I'll do the driving! Okay?"
"…snod a prroblemm…" Ari slurred, "…nod like… like…" he broke down and began crying, leaning forward to hide his face in his hands…
"Ari?" Bo reached out to the drunken Psyche, concerned for his well-being, "Are you all right? Do you… want to talk about things?"
Ari snuffled up his tears, "…snod yore folt… just…"
"Just?" Bo gently pressed.
"Why couldn't you be a MAN?" wailed Ari.
"Ah?" Bo didn't know what to say.
"…know long it's been?" Ari wept, "…since I… since I… you know… with a man…?"
Bo coughed discretely, "No I don't but, even if I were a… 'man'… As I'm supposed to be an EVA Pilot I'd still only be 14 or 15 years old?"
"I said MAN," Ari stressed the word, sitting up in his chair, "I would never expect a BOY to do a MAN's job!"
"So," Bo felt uneasy, but she pressed the point, "You don't… go for boys then?"
"Of course not!" Ari seemed upset at the thought, "I want a MAN, A REAL MAN, some Big, Hairy, Muscly Brute I can wrestle into submission, and then-"
Bo blushed as Ari rambled on, using several terms she didn't know the meaning of, but which were no doubt related to homosexual activities.
…Or maybe wrestling…
- - - - - - - - - -
Sometime later, and Bo was getting an understanding of the world she was in…
…And of the world that Ari had involuntarily left behind…
"…just sit in the seat, Ari! They said…" Ari snarled unhappily at the memory, "…test the base circuits, Ari! They said… Bastards didn't say that the Mind Space of an EVA can only be 'jump-started' by an existing mind! Nor did they tell ME that such 'jump-starting' could result in the absorption of the mind of the person doing the 'jump-starting'! That I'd be 'drained dry'!"
"So…" Bo tried to make sense of it all, "EVA? Is not a robot, it's actually a living… thing… Something composed of active biological matter? But biological matter that's been grown in a lab… in separate pieces?"
"Yeah…" Ari confirmed wearily, "Because it didn't grow… didn't develop as the one coherent biological unit, EVAs don't have the psychological gestalt that any normal creature develops between the component parts of its body… That is… no 'soul'… no 'mind'… connecting the various components… Just a bunch of nervous reactions that are barely a 'subconscious'…"
Bo chewed the information over thoughtfully, then asked, "And that's where you come in? They use your mind as a 'template'?"
Ari sighed, but nodded.
Bo was perplexed, "But… Are you 'you'? Or are you just a memory that thinks it's you?"
Ari groaned mournfully and reached for another beer, "Please don't start that 'Am I a victim of induced Metempsychosis, or just a Xeroxed copy that's so good it can pass for the original' type of argument! I had enough of that the first few years I found myself stuck in here!"
Bo couldn't leave well enough alone, "Did you ever resolve the question?"
"Sure!" Ari held up his bottle, "I think, therefore I am!"
Bo gave Ari a sceptical look, "That old saw resolved the problem?"
Ari elaborated, "Let me put it this way… If 'I think, therefore I am'… Then if I think like a Man, therefore I am a Man! Now, whether I am the man my Father was, or my Grandfather was, is beside the point. I am the Man I am."
Ari fixed Bo with a gaze that bored through her, "…And that means I am the Man I think I am, regardless of whether or not I am still the SAME Man, as a certain Brilliant Young Technician was when he sat down in an EVA one day…"
Bo couldn't argue with that…
- - - - - - - - - -
"So how do I do this?" Bo asked the Big Question.
"…not so loud…" Ari held an icepack to his head, his bloodshot eyes squinting in the well-lit darkness, "…just think clearly of what you want… Think real hard…"
Bo closed her eyes, clearly forming the image of what she wanted to appear…
"Ooh!" Ari sounded impressed, "Verrry NICE!"
Bo opened her eyes, grinning as she saw the customised Lamborghini automobile that sat in the darkness, red paint sparkling, all shiny and new…
"Pity there's no roads in here," Ari commiserated.
Bo grinned, "Who needs roads? You ever heard of a film called 'Back to the Future' Part 2?"
- - - - - - - - - -
Bo blinked, the world around her had changed somehow, but how?
From somewhere came heard a familiar voice tinged with worry, "Earth to Bo! Earth to Bo! Please come in?"
"Misato?" Bo barely resisted the urge to cough at the strange feeling that mere talking generated in her throat.
"Secondary Sensory Interface level attained," Ritsuko said in a slightly satisfied voice, "Drain buoyancy fluid…"
Bo was suddenly aware of a slight chill travelling down her body, like she had just stepped out of a bath and into a room of cold air. However, a quick look at the confines of the Entry Plug didn't reveal the LCL gurgling back to wherever it had come from. At the same time, Bo also became aware of a new feeling of heaviness…
"Retracting Lock Bolts!" Ritsuko sounded satisfied with something.
A previously unrecognised pressure left various parts of Bo's body, accompanied by a sound she felt rather than heard.
"Pilot?" Ritsuko's voice caught Bo's attention, "Can you try walking?"
Bo's eyes widened in sudden alarm, 'Walk? How do I do that? In this?'
'No worries Dear,' a gentle male voice whispered in the back of Bo's mind, 'Just sit back and leave the driving to me…'
'ARI?' Bo's eyes widened even more, 'You weren't a dream!?'
'Despite my 'orientation', I'm not quite the Sugarplum Fairy,' Ari wryly observed.
Bo suddenly felt strange, like she was sleepwalking while awake. The way the images on the walls of the Entry Plug changed indicated that somehow, the EVA was moving on its own.
The action spooked Bo, 'Um? Ari? Which of us is in control?'
'We both are dear,' Ari confirmed, 'Just think of this EVA as being one of those 'dual-control' automobiles you use at a Driving School…'
'And you're my Driving Instructor?'
'More or less!' Bo felt Ari give a mental shrug, 'Don't worry, I'm MORE than 'limber' enough to teach you how to handle this wee beastie, as several men from my Yoga class could no doubt tell you…'
'Oh?' Bo teasingly inquired, 'Any of them Bi?'
'Sorry Ms Jail Bait!' Ari responded in like manner, 'But they'd all be Old Farts by now… And you ARE supposed to be 15 at most! But since you seem to doubt…'
…EVA Unit 07 suddenly cartwheeled out of the storage cage…
- - - - - - - - - -
"Now THIS is more like it!" Ritsuko sounded ecstatic.
Out in the training ground, the EVA jointly controlled by Ari and Bo was 'blowing off some steam', and in the process, 'blowing away' all of the targets in spectacular fashion.
Despite his prowess, Ari was modest to a fault, 'Did I ever tell you I was a 'QUAKE' Champion? Great training aid for this line of work!'
'Ever play 'Oni'?' Bo countered, 'Not so much a shoot-em-up, as a combination of Hand-to-Hand combat and tactics?'
'How would 'Hands on' handle this?' Ari asked, referring to their opponent.
'Like this!' Bo suddenly took over, and EVA Unit 07 dropped to the ground, twirling around to leg-sweep an opponent before ramming the EVA sized rifle right through their chest.
"Go easy on the Hardware!" Misato barked, "Those guns don't grow on trees you know!"
"Indeed…" the voice was little more than a quiet masculine growl.
"Commander!" several voices said in unison.
Bo perked up at the comment, 'Commander?'
'Evil Bastard Alert!' Ari thought snidely.
'Evil Bastard?' Bo was concerned, 'And I'm working for him?'
'Well,' Ari amended, 'Not so much 'Evil' as 'Machiavellian'… Don't piss him off and he won't kill you unless he HAS to!'
- - - - - - - - - -
Eventually 'play time' was over, and Bo had to return her EVA to the containment cage.
"How do I shut this thing down?" Bo asked verbally.
"Just relax," Ritsuko advised as the locking bolts thudded home, "We'll disconnect you from here! Replacing Buoyancy Fluid…"
As the buoyancy fluid poured into the cage, Bo sent a mental query to the consciousness that had stopped controlling the EVA some time ago… 'And you?'
'I'm going to have a good sleep!' Ari's comment seemed to smile in reply, 'After a workout like this, I can certainly use it!'
'So… See you next time?' Bo timidly enquired.
"Disconnecting Secondary Sensory Interfaces…" Ritsuko called out.
'It's a date!' Ari confirmed, 'However, don't tell any-'
Ari's comment suddenly cut off, along with the background feeling of a really good physical workout.
'Ari?' No answer came to Bo's silent call.
"Disconnecting Primary Sensory Interfaces…"
Bo suddenly found herself in an Entry Plug devoid of images on its walls.
- - - - - - - - - -
"KAFF! KAFF! AWWWK!" Bo bent over on the gantry outside the Entry Plug, coughing up the LCL from her lungs.
"You'll be all right," Misato tried to be helpful from the sidelines.
"Hooogh!" Bo felt like she was going to cough her lungs out, vomit, or both.
"Good Work, Pilot Glomp…" the male voice spoke quietly, not out of politeness, but out of the assurance that it didn't need to use any more volume.
Bo looked up from her latest (and hopefully last) liquid loogie to see two men looking at her. Well, in the case of the elderly man it was looking, but in the case of the middle aged one it was more like staring.
The middle aged man was tall, tanned, and wore oval glasses on a face framed by an 'Honest Abraham Lincoln' beard. He wore a dark coloured uniform over a black turtleneck skivvy. One hand was in his pocket in a very casual pose, the other hung at his side, encased in a white glove. Despite the man's relaxed pose, his eyes watched Bo like a Hawk, analysing, critiquing, evaluating…
"Commander Ikari?" Misato made the introductions, "This is Pilot Bo Glomp, the Seventh Child. Pilot Glomp, this is Commander Gendou Ikari, Commander of the NERV Base… Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki? This is Pilot Bo Glomp, the-"
Bo spared the elderly man a polite look of acknowledgement. He was tall and thin with age, hair going silvery grey with a retreating hairline. A wrinkled face, creased naturally with age, and with laugh-lines when he gave Bo a small smile in return.
"Pleased to meet you Sirs!" mindful of Ari's personal opinion of the bespectacled man before her, Bo walked towards Gendou and extended her hand, trying to make the best impression she could.
Gendou silently extended his own hand without missing a beat, instantly assimilating Bo's tactic, and proving his Total Mastery of the situation.
…Unfortunately for Bo, the day had been long, and she HAD hacked up a good deal of LCL onto the gantry…
"EEK!" Bo's foot slipped on the LCL slick gantry, and she fell over backwards in an uncontrolled flail of limbs, landing heavily on her back.
…Her unintended sprawl however, had caused her leading foot to swing around in an upward arc… The heel coming to rest rather FIRMLY in Gendou's crotch…
"…haaahhhhh…" Gendou gave a barely audible intake of breath before crumpling to the ground with a gurgling, choking noise.
"Oh NOOOOO!" Bo wailed in mortal embarrassment and terror, her mind full of dire visions of being 'Pilot In Charge Of Utter-Shit-Job Missions…'
The others stood and gaped in disbelief at the turn of events. The scene of Commander Gendou Ikari rolling around the floor, foaming at the mouth in pain from having been kicked in the 'balls' was obviously too much for them to take.
Then the elderly Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki turned towards Bo…
"Umma… Umma…" Bo felt tears form in her eyes beneath the Vice-Commander's stern gaze…
Then Fuyutsuki's face crinkled into a large smile, his eyes closing in mirth as he bent down to gently pat Bo's head and say, "Don't worry Dear, the two of us are going to get along JUUSST Fine!"
- - - - - - - - - -
WHAT COULD HAPPEN NEXT?
SEE! Bo slap Asuka back to her senses!
SEE! Bo Live to tell the tale!
SEE! Bo slap Kaji back to his senses!
SEE! Bo act as 'flower girl' at Misato and Kaji's wedding!
SEE! Bo ram a miniaturised EVA spinal column up Shinji's arse, thus ensuring that the series 'World Class Wimp' finally gets an actual backbone!
SEE! Shinji Bitch-slap Gendou around his Office!
SEE! Bo rekindle Ritsuko's own sense of self worth!
SEE! Ritsuko Bitch-Slap Gendou around his office! Then kick him in the nuts!
SEE! Bo 'empower' Rei#2 with Feminist Ideology literature!
SEE! Rei#2 Bitch-slap Gendou around his Office!
SEE! Gendou plot to get rid of Bo for being a threat to his Evil plans!
SEE! Bo give Ari a 'Birthday Present' when she ties Gendou up and stuffs him into the Entry Plug of Unit 07 for several hours!
SEE! An embarrassed Gendou vehemently deny the preceding event ever occurred!
SEE! Bo get away with it (and a Hell of a lot more!), because Ari's 'got the negatives' of when Gendou was stuffed in Unit 07's Entry Plug for several hours!
SEE! Unit 07 go up against the 'Angel with the Toilet Paper Arms'!
SEE! Unit 07 'Get its Freak On' while taking on the Big, Muscly Brute of an Angel with the Toilet Paper Arms!
SEE! Ari show Bo how to use the 'Over Fiend Cannon', the device that lies behind EVA Unit 07's Armoured Codpiece!
SEE! The Angel with the Toilet Paper Arms 'Squeal like a Pig', as Unit 07 gets as 'up close and personal' as is physically possible with the Over Fiend Cannon!
SEE! Bo mistakenly attend 'Rorikon', thinking it's a Normal Anime Convention!
SEE! Bo force-feed several dozen SAD LITTLE- err… sorry! The Censor's just told us we can't do that one!
SEE! The Writer's Gruesome Demise when Certain Anime Fans read this!
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