The Insanity, an animorphs fanfic

The Insanity

By Andalite Girl

( A/n: Read # 29 before this or else you probably won't get it. Also I wrote this around four in the morning so it will be… Odd.)

Chapter 1

Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill opened his eyes for a moment and groaned. The world around him seemed to spin randomly. He firmly shut his eyes for a few seconds then his brain finally registered what he saw and his eyes flew open.

He was in a room, a white room. Wha-How did he get in here? What was the meaning of this?! He tried to struggle to his hoofs but his energy soon gave out and he lay down in defeat, panting as if he had run ten miles.

Aximili suddenly got an itch on his face and he went to scratch it when he realized that his arms were immobile. In fact they appeared to be in cased in a strange white fabric that forced his arms crisscross across his chest and ended on his back where it was secured in a buckle. His tail was tied in a similar fashion.

< What is this!? > He exploded in rage. < Where am I? >

A door that he had not noticed before opened up and a male and female andalite walked though. < Doctor, he's at it again. > Said the male.

Aximili was completely and utterly shocked at seeing his own kind again. He asked.

The doctors ignored him. < Give him two cc's of strophane. > One ordered.

< WHO ARE YOU?! >Aximili yelled again, < Where are my friends? > One of the doctors took his arm and expertly injected it. < What are you doing? Unbind me at once! Unbind- > His head rolled forward as he fell into a drug induced sleep.

Chapter 2

< Hello Elfangor. > someone said.

Aximili woke up with a start and his bleary eyes rested on an older Andalite who was sitting next to him. < Who are- > He tried to ask but he was too tired to finish the question.

< Ah, you're awake again. That's good progress. >

< Progress? >

< Yes, before you would lapse into comas of months at a time... of course you don't remember do you? >

< Remember?...No. >

Aximili woke up a little at the mention of his brother. < Elfangor... >

< Yes, it's your name. >

He shook his head, < This place...Earth? >

The Andalite had a worried look on his face. He quickly typed some notes on his digital pad.

< Who are you? >Aximili felt more awake then ever now. His body was rejecting the drugs that had been given to calm him before. < Who are you? > He repeated in a stronger voice.

Chapman? Wasn't that the name of the human controller? Prince Jake and the other's assistant principal? He was about to speak but Chapman cut him off. < I'm going to ask you the questions now. What time is it? >

< It is 9:03 p.m. Standard Earth time. >

< Standard Earth time? > Chapman asked. Aximili nodded and he made a few quick notes before asking. < Do you recall what happened one year six months and three days ago? >

< Yes, that was day that my dome ship crashed on planet Earth. Doctor, what happened to my friends and why am I held here? >

< Can you describe the events after the dome ship crashed? >

< Can you describe these humans? >

< Why will you not answer my questions?! >Aximili exploded.

The doctor looked upon him with great pity in his eyes. < Because Elfangor, > He said, < There are no such things as humans. It would appear that they are a figment of your overactive mind. >

Aximili sat there in complete shock. Humans not real? Impossible! Improbable! He shouted. < They are real! They do exist! Prince Jake, Tobias, Cassie... You're lying! >

Chapman put a comforting hand on his shoulder,

< No! Never! Leave me alone! >Aximili lunged for the doctor, forgetting that he was bond in a straitjacket and could cause no harm. Never the less the doctor retreated a couple of steps.

< Restrain your self, Elfangor or else I will be forced to call for some more tranquilizers! >

Aximili forced himself to calm down but inside he was seething, ready to boil over and attack again at the least provocation. < Stop. Calling. Me. Elfangor! >

The doctor sighed, < Very well, I shall call you by the name you have given yourself... For now. > He sighed again. He turned and typed a few commands on his pad and instantly the room darkened and one of the walls lit up with a 2-D screen. A moment later the screen began to play with all to familiar images.

Aximili gasped. It was... him! He was running around the room, screaming incoherently at the top of his mind and throwing himself at the walls. One time he hit the wall especially hard and there was a resounding snap and he fell to the floor. When he got up again his arm was pointed in an unnatural direction, a piece of white bone was sticking out of the flesh. He didn't care however, he just kept throwing himself. Again and again...Aximili closed his eyes, he couldn't bear to see any more. < Stop the images. > He pleaded. < Please. >

Instantly the sounds stopped. He opened his eyes to see that the images were on pause. The doctor was nodding his head wisely. < That was six months ago. > He said, < We had a hard time repairing your shattered bone, but as you can see we succeeded. Now watch. > He panned the frozen image closer and now Aximili could see white scars raking his body. < Self inflicted. >

Instinctively Aximili looked at his own body. The parts that were not obscured were covered in white scars. They looked like they were caused from a tail blade. < I... did this? > He asked in horror.

< Yes. >

Aximili started rocking back and forth. This could not be real. This could not be real. This could not be real. Please don't let it be real.

Chapman shook his head sadly,

He stopped rocking for a second. < And what truth is that? > He asked wearily, < That my whole life has been a lie? All I went though was for nothing?! >

The doctor got up and looked at him with eyes of pure pity. < In time you will come to see the truth. That there were no humans. No Earth. You have been here all along, slipping in and out of comas. I know it will be hard for you to accept but in time you will come along. > Then he turned and walked out of the padded room.

Aximili didn't even know when he started to rock back and forth again. He was just dimly aware of doing it at some point, but he didn't try to stop himself. He retreated into his own mind and only half register the fact that a nurse someone had come into his room and left a bowl of liquefied grass with he didn't touch. At some point during the night he fell asleep.

Chapter 3

The next few days were the worst he ever had to go though. Doctors, too many for him to count, came in and poked around and asked him annoying questions.

< How many humans were there? >

< Did you at any point realize that something was wrong? >

< Do you remember waking up at all? >

< How did you think of the name Aximili? What does it represent to you? >

On the fifth day they removed his straitjacket. Between doctor visits and screen viewings he spent his time walking around in endless circles around his cell trying to think about what happened.

He clearly remembered the last mission he had with the humans. He had morphed a cow and was almost shot at a slaughterhouse. Not one of his favorite missions by far. But it was necessary to free a number of homeless humans.

Again and again his mind dwelled on the possibility that maybe, just maybe the doctors were telling the truth. That he really was crazy. He certainty felt sane enough. But did the insane even know of their mentality? Did they even realize that they might be different? Did he realize that he was different? Or was he just fooling himself.

He said to himself then he burst out laughing. He finally made a joke. Marco would be proud... of course Marco might not even exist.

Suddenly the door opened and two nurses step in and grabbed his arms. < Hey! > He yelled, < Let me go! >

< Sorry son, > Said one, < Someone else needs to use this room. >

They pushed him into the hallway and led him down a series of maze like corridors. Finally they stopped at one, un-locked it, pushed him in and shut the door behind him with a bang.

The room that he was in was tan in color and much smaller then the other room. And there was another andalite, a male his age in it.

He cried.

< You... You called me by my name. > He said, stunned. It was the first time in five days that anyone had done so.

< Of course I did, that's your name. > Said the andalite. < You don't remember me do you? >

< No. >

< Then it must be true. > The other andalite said sadly. < They said that you were really out of control for a while there. That you forgot everything that had happened to you in the last three years. Say it isn't true Aximili. >

Aximili smiled, < It isn't true. I remember everything, the humans, Earth... everything. >

He stared at Aximili with a look of disbelief and bewilderment on his eyes for such a long time that Aximili started to fidget under the scrutiny. < It is true then . > He said at last. < You do believe in humans. >

Aximili said with vehemence. But he was starting to wonder if he even believed it anymore.

< My name is Tobias-Uityighi-Noorrak. I don't suppose you remember that either. >

< No... I don't. So you are saying that I knew you? >

Tobias barked out a laugh. < We used to be shorms! We used to hang around together and make fun of the doctors.... Before it got bad, that is. >

< Got... Bad? > He wasn't really sure he wanted to hear the answer.

< I'd rather not talk about that now. > Tobias said, < You are lucky if you do not recall it Aximili-man. Very lucky. >

That was all he said for the rest of the night.

Chapter 4

Two weeks later

< And did you, Elfangor, ever go to the planet Earth? >

< No councilman I never set hoof on any planet called Earth. >Aximili said truthfully, he had to say it truthfully. He was hooked up to half a dozen machines that would tell the council members otherwise. It all part of an evaluation test they gave each inmate every three weeks.

< Very well. Did you ever serve under a Prince who called himself Jake? >

< Never. >

Finally the head of the council smiled at him. < Good job Elfangor. > He said proudly, < You have come incredibly far in these past three weeks. I commend you on your zeal. >

< Thank you councilman, >Aximili said sincerely. The head nurse turned off the machines and he was taken out of the council room and back into the room he shared with Tobias.

< So how did it go? > His shorm said eagerly, as soon as they were alone.

< Congratulations! > He patted him on the back. < You've cleared your first major hurdle to become sane again. > Tobias stopped and looked around to see if anyone was listening. But by now he was used to his friend's paranoia. It's what landed him in this institute in the first place.

There was a knock at the door and Chapman came in. < Hello Elfangor. Hello Tobias. > The two muttered greetings in return. Of all the doctors, they hated Chapman the most. Chapman looked at Aximili, < I have come to fully congratulate you on your achievements in these last few weeks. I have you know that I was very close to recommending an mind sweep to your parents but now you have fully shown that you can go without it. >

< Thank you doctor. >

Chapman nodded and walked out.

Aximili looked at his friend. < What is a mind sweep? >

Tobias paled, < Where did you hear that term? >

< Just now! Chapman said it. >

< Oh yeah, I forgot. > He seemed visibly shaken. < A mind sweep is when the doctors erase everything from your mind. Your memories, your personality, basically what makes you, you is gone and wiped away to begin fresh. >

Aximili sat down, hard. < They... They were going to do that to me? >

< Looks that way, but not anymore. My friends and I always called it the mind sucker. >

He never did know who Tobias was talking about when he mentioned "His friends." In fact he was beginning to suspect that he just made them up. But it wasn't like he was in any position to judge.

Chapter 4

One week later

Aximili pranced around the room with nervousness. It was a largish room, cut right down the middle with a transparent force field. And, unlike any other rooms he had been in, this one had a window.

He had been waken up early in the morning and taken to this place with the message that his parents were coming to see him today. That was six hours ago and no one had shown up. He was starting to think that it was a clerical mix up and that his parents were not coming to see him. It was someone else's parents.

Suddenly the door opened on the other side of the force field and they appeared. His father cried.

Aximili rushed up as close as the crackling force field would let him get to his parents. < Hello Mother, Father. > He said,

< And I am happy to see you. > His mother said, < My son, you have grown so much! >

< Almost as tall as me now! > His Father said with mock gruffness.

He laughed, < With any luck I'll be taller by the end of the year. > It felt so good to see his family again. For the first time since he could remember, Aximili felt whole and complete.

< How are they treating you? > His mother asked.

< Fine, I get three square meals a day, I have a wonderful Shorm and the doctors are... well they are doctors. >

His parents laughed a little at that then his father dropped the bombshell. < How would you like to come back home with us? The doctors say that it would be for the best right now. >

Aximili could not believe his ears. Home? Home! < I... I would love too! > He stammered. < When- > something caught the corner of his stalk eye, he turned to look but it was gone. < When will I be released? > He asked.

< As soon as you want. Today perhaps? > His mother said.

< Today would be fine. I- >Aximili stopped talking, he was sure he saw something this time. But no, it was gone again.

His father asked.

< Huh? Oh, Today would be fine. > He repeated, embarrassed.

His mother clapped her hands. < It is done then! Oh, I can't wait until you get home. >

But now Aximili wasn't even listening. He was intently watching a shadow that should not be there, creep across the floor on his parents side. He watched fascinated as the shadow grew out of the ground and became... Cassie?

< Cassie? > He wondered.

< What? > His mother asked.

Cassie looked at him and put her hands to her lips in a gesture of silence. Then other shadows started to creep across the floor....

His father said sharply, < Have you been listening to a word we've been saying. >

< Of course father. >

< Good, because your mother asked you a question- >

He was interrupted by a piecing shriek of a red-tail hawk. Tobias suddenly popped into the room in midair and started attacking Hork-Bajir that had also appeared. The other Animorphs grew out of the shadows and suddenly a full-fledged battle was going on.... right in back of his parents who seemed not to know a thing.

What? What was going on? They couldn't be real! He was told that they weren't real. And yet they were there, right in front of his own eyes. Aximili watched as his parents droned on while a battle they didn't notice was going on behind them. Suddenly a Hork-Bajir crept right in back of Jake in tiger morph.

< Prince Jake! Behind you! >Aximili called.

< What? > His parents wondered.

Jake turned around right in time to take the Hork-Bajir down. < Thanks Aximili. > He said. < Hold on. We will get you out of here. >

Out of here? This wasn't real? What? Which reality was the real one?!

Then he saw Marco get stabbed right though the heart by a blade. The gorilla looked at it like he couldn't believe what was happening then he slumped over dead.

< Noooo! >Aximili cried, < Demorph Marco! Demorph! >

< Jake help me! > Cassie cried as a Hork-Bajir leapt on her wolf back, breaking it in two with a sickening snap.

< Cassie! > Jake yelled, right before he was slashed across the throat. Tobias screamed as he got hit with a dracon beam. Rachel was the last to die, she was hacked to pieces by the Hork-Bajir.

By this time Aximili was screaming for someone, anyone to help them. He threw himself against the force field, trying to break it so he could get in. Then he felt strong arms grip his arms and push him to the ground.

He looked around wildly at the doctors and then at the Animorphs... but they were gone. There was no sign of them, just his parents looking back at him with shocked expressions on their faces.

It was too much. Just too much. < What is happening!? > He screamed, < What is happening to me!? > The doctors around him whispered soothingly but it didn't help. Nothing helped anymore.

Aximili saw the door to his parent's side of the room slide open and Chapman came out and began to talk to them. In the middle of the conversation his mother broke down and leaned against his father for support. Finally they both nodded and looked at their son, remorseful. All he heard his father say was < Do it. I don't want him to remember anything. >

They were going to sweep his mind! < No! Don't do this! > He yelled as he struggled against the doctors. < Don't let them erase my mind. > But his parents just turned away as the doctors picked up a screaming kicking Aximili and led him to a small room.

They put him on a table and held him down so he couldn't move. Chapman was there, looking very satisfied with himself. < Do hold still Aximili. > He said pleasantly, < This will all be over in a few seconds. >

< Let me go you mother fucker! > He yelled using some choice words from Earth.

The doctor just smiled and held a strange machine over his head. In panic Aximili tried to close his eyes but they were forced open again by the doctor. And already he was forgetting.

Who was-

Have to move-

Get free-

Help me! He cried before it all went blank.

Chapter 5

Aximili woke up, he was on the table. Instinctively he tried to kick his legs to get free. But they wouldn't move. He had to get away from the doctors. He had to... Wait.

He was in.. the barn! Why?

Something was happening to his head. There was an odd, cold sensation there. How strange. < What has happened? > He tried to ask. But he didn't speak. It was like there was a roadblock in his own mind. Could it be the mind sweep?

< No, it is I. > Said a voice in his head, < You have been very sick Aximili. >

A dawning realization hit him with horror that he had never known before. < Yeerk! > He started to scream hysterically, not knowing what else to do.

< Cassie, he's coming to,. > The filthy Yeerk said, < And he's starting to scream! >

< No, no, no! Let me go! >

Outside his body he heard Cassie's voice, "What's wrong? Am I hurting him?"

< No, he's screaming because there is a Yeerk in his head. >

< Cassie! Help! It's in my head! AHHHH >

"Aximili, listen to me. The Yeerk is Aftran. She helped me save your life,"

Life? There was no life now. All he could be is a helpless slave for the rest of his life. He would rather die. Cassie should have killed him! Anything was better than this!

< He's totally freaking. He's saying you should have let him die. He would have killed himself with his own blade rather than let a Yeerk infest him. >

"He doesn't understand."

< Yes he does. I'm coming out. >

Aximili felt himself regain control of his body. As soon as the Yeerk left he tried to get off the table. He had enough of tables today.

Cassie calmed him down and stitched up the rest of his head. But Aximili felt violated. A Yeerk had been in his head. Yuck. He would never feel the same. How could he? Now that one of those little monsters had been between his ears.

After Cassie calmed him down Eric carried him to a stall and told him to sleep. Yeah that's what he needed. Sleep... But he didn't. Eventually Cassie came in his stall to check on him.

< I'm awake. > He said.

"You should sleep now." She said gently. " I know it might be hard, after Aftran... Well you need to sleep."

He did not miss the way her voice cracked when she said Aftran. He turned a stalk eye toward her. < What is troubling you? >

She bit her lip, " Aftran was going to be interrogated today by Visser 3. I saved her from that and took her away from the pool. But now she will die in three days... She told me to kill her. I don't think I can do it Aximili... I just don't." Tears were welling up in her eyes and she irritably brushed them away. "Sorry, I shouldn't be bugging you about this." She got up to walk away.

< Cassie, wait. >

She stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"

< Is this... real? Is this place real? >

An evil smile crept across her lips and she shook her head. " No. Nothing is real." Her voice was guttural and deep. "But then again. You know that don't you?"

Aximili screamed and woke up in a white room.

The End????????

Questions? Comments? Death threats? Well e-mail 'em to me!

Subvisser1@hotmail.com