"The Brothers of Viridian Forest"

Humans, Pikachu decided, were bad liars. "It tastes like fruit!" spiky haired boy had said reassuringly. Pikachu remembered the berries he had eaten the other day, the delicious fruity taste and juice flowing across his tongue. So he'd swallowed the medicine eagerly.

It tasted nothing like fruit. He spit it out all over spiky haired boy's shirt.

"Well," Brock said, annoyed, wiping at his shirt with a napkin. "I tried."

"Pikachu, pleaaaase!" hat boy pleaded. Hat Boy was Pikachu's favorite. "You needa get better, you gotta!"

"Well, anyway, that was the last medicine in the bottle," Redhead said, shaking the bottle upside down. A drop came out and landed in the dirt.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ash howled. "Pikachu gonna die! Pikachu gonna die!" He knelt sobbing in front of the Pokemon, who looked at him with what woulda been the equivalent of a human arching his eyebrow.

Ash bundled the 'mon up in his jacket and took it to a nearby Pokemon Center.

Nurse Joy took a quick look at Pikachu's tongue. "Did you let him eat the berries I was growing in the backyard that were clearly labeled 'Poison Berries'?" she said, frowning.

"NO!" Ash said too quickly. "Wait. . .yes."

Nurse Joy sighed. "Those are strictly decorative berries that are dangerous if ingested! They look pretty, but are toxic, much like poinsettia flowers."

"Yeah, just like Nurse Joy," Brock said, nodding.

"You're gonna ingest Nurse Joy?" Misty grumbled.

"Yeah," Brock said. "No. I mean she's pretty, like a flower."

"I think it's pretty stupid to grow poison berries out in the open," Misty said.

"Didn't you notice the barbed wire? The guard dogs? THE SIGN THAT SAID DO NOT EAT THESE THEY'RE POISON! Jesus! Keep a better handle on your 'mon!" Nurse Joy put a leash on Pikachu.

"PIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Pikachu said, remembering his first day with Ash (Ash had dragged him around on a clothesline). But he was too weak to summon up a shock attack.

"Well, is there a cure, Joy?" Ash asked hopefully. "Just shoot 'im up, pronto."

Nurse Joy sighed. "There is no cure. I'm sorry. You should just make your Pikachu as comfortable as possible in the infirmary, and we'll see what to do with the body--"

"NO!" Ash yelled loudly. "I'm nevah gonna give up d'fight!" He put Pikachu inside his jacket and zipped it up. "As long as my heart beats against the breast of this 'mon, God help me, he'll live!"

"Yeah, sure," Nurse Joy said. "They were POISON berries."

Misty dragged Brock and Ash outside.

"If you were a better Pokemon trainer this wouldn't have happened!" Misty lectured, as usual. "And Brock, stop looking at women that way!"

"Mmm," Brock said.

A shady-looking man in a trenchcoat walked up.

"It's Inspector Gadget! Surely this man will help us," Ash said, continuing in his biblical tone.

"No, no," the man said. "I am a faith healer." He handed each of the trio a prayer card. "I couldn't help but overhearing your predicament. I was reminded of another disease I had that seemingly had no cure--"

"Auto Immune Deficieny Syndrome," Misty guessed.

"NO--"

"Veneral warts," Brock said.

"NO!"

"Herpes Simplex II," Ash said.

"NO! It was something else. Anyway, I went to a sacred grotto in California. There was an amazing legend behind this spot--"

"What was it?" Misty asked.

"Well, I was about to tell it..."

~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~

(Man narrating)"In California was a place called Viridian Dirtland. In the 1800's, a peasant girl prayed there every day. Then a spring shot up outta the ground, a spring with mystical, healing powers."

(The young peasant girl kneels and then is blown into the air, never to be seen again, by the gushing spring with mystical healing powers.)

(Brock fantasizing)"Was she real pretty?"

(Man narrating)"NO! Anyway, her HUSBAND, Hiram Viridian, was heartbroken--"

(Brock)"Aw."

(Her husband, cradling a young baby (the peasant's kid!), plants a baby tree--a sapling. "From now on, for every time a baby is born in my family line, a tree will be planted in Viridian Dirtland so that the person may live on forever, as a tree. Unlike my wife.")

(Pikachu)"Pikaaaa..."

(Ash)"What's with the tree thing?"

(Man)"Symbolic, I guess. Anyway, after enough generations, there was a whole forest and they changed the name of the place to 'Viridian Forest'."

(Misty)"How. . .ecosystem conscious!"

(Ash)"Great! We just bring Pikachu there to the spring that shoots from it, and he'll be good as new!"

~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~

Ash knelt reverently at the spring and chanted, like a mantra, "Oh please help my sick Pikachu, oh please help my sick Pikachu, oh please help my sick Pikachu. . ." He closed his eyes and put Pikachu on the spring.

He got blasted into the air, and disappeared. "Chaaaaa. . ." *ping*

"Was that the ping of healing?" Ash said, looking up.

Brock and Misty's mouths were hanging open. "Uhhhh. . ."

"Hey, where's Pikachu?" Ash said, looking around.

The man with the trenchcoat (his name was Jeff) put his hand on Ash's shoulder. "I forgot to tell you earlier that the mysterious healing powers of the spring only work for those of the Viridian family line. Anyone else gets blasted into the air, never to be seen again."

"WHAT?" Ash barked. "That's a pretty dumb@$$ thing to forget!"

Brock rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "If the peasant woman was of the Viridian line, how come she was blasted into the air?"

"She was only Viridian by marriage," Jeff explained. "Now, I have something to reveal to you. *I* am a Viridian. Jeff Viridian. Come to my shack, we'll eat." And so they did, after Jeff knelt to take a sip from the spring (without being blasted into oblivion).

"Show off," Misty said.

Jeff led them to his shack. He opened the door and introduced them to his eleven brothers (each of them identical).

"You three, meet Jordan, Billy, Jack, Jeff 2, Homer, Ron, Don, Matt. . .and the others," Jeff said, gesturing. He clapped his hands twice. (The lights turned on) "Jack, Matt? Get these three a meal. They have just suffered a great loss."

Jack and Matt got Ash and co. a meal. Ash picked at his food, sniffling.

"Cheer up, Ash," Misty said, patting his shoulder.

"Yeah," Brock added, munching on some steak. "Pikachu was gonna die anyway. At least he went out in style." He socked Ash in the shoulder.

"That's a terrible thing to say!" Ash growled.

"Sorry."

~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~

The man, woman, and cat looked at the mystical spring.

"You got the bottles?" Jessie asked.

"Yep!" James said, ripping the "Arrowhead" label offa some empty water bottles.

"Dis is gonna put us over da top," Meowth said. "Everyone's gonna wanna buy summa dis 'Team Rocket Healing Water'."

They approached the spring, bottles uncapped and ready to pilfer the precious. . .water.

~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~

After a night's sleep, Ash woke up and opened the box of Pokemon Cereal. Then he remembered. Pikachu was gone. He wasn't gonna eat PokeCereal no more. He wasn't gonna get the Pikachu Rolex Watch in the bottom, the special prize. He needed a matching set. Pikachu (rest his little soul) already had the Pikachu Swatch Watch. . .

Misty and Brock woke up to see Ash munching Poke Pellets out of the cereal box, the little Rolex watch designed for the Pikachu's wrist around two of his fingers.

"I think your other Pokemon might need some attention, too," Misty said.

"Yes, but I'm in mourning," Ash said, sighing. He laughed a little. "Remember the time Pikachu ate the poison berries Nurse Joy was growing? . . .no, that's not funny." He started sobbing.

Suddenly all twelve Viridian Brothers sat upright in their sleeping bags.

"SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT!" they all sang in unison. Then they ran around frantically bumping into each other.

"Woah woah woah!" Brock said, holding up his hands. "What's not right?"

"So so so nervous," Jeff said, smoothing down his arm hair. "You see my arm hair?"

"Who could miss it?" Ash sighed. "Your arm is da hairiest."

"Well my arm hair only stands up when--there's TROUBLE AT THE VIRIDIAN FAMILY SPRING!"

"WHAT?" the other eleven brothers shrieked. They all barrelled out the door.

~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~

What they saw was Team Rocket, their empty bottles clutched in their hands. The effeminate man, the tomboy woman, and the gold coin cat. . .

"She. . .she protected the spring from the robbers," Jordan said, smiling.

. . .crushed underneath a skeleton wearing the clothes of a peasant woman.

"It's the Viridian Mother!" the other brothers cheered. "Hip hip hooorayyyyyyyy!"

"Creepy!" Misty said, shivering.

"She finally fell back down after all these years. . .," Brock said. "That IS disturbing."

Ash sniffled. "At least Team Rocket finally got their comeuppance."

All 15 people stared reverently at the spring, which was undisturbed, splashing upwards in all its pure blue . . .greatness.

"It will continue to protect us Viridians forevah and ever. . .," Jeff said.

Ron ran up. "Look what I found! Look! Look! It was caught in MATT'S bear trap!"

"MATT! I told you to stop catching the Viridian Animals!" Jeff scolded.

"Whoops," Matt said.

"It's. . .a Raichu!" Ash said, recognizing Pikachu's evolved form anywhere. "Reminds me of Pikachu. . ." He sighed.

"Let's keep it! Let's keep it! Let's keep it!" Homer chanted.

"No, no," Jeff said. "It was my fault that Ash here lost his Pikachu. So now I think it's only right to give him this Raichu."

"Rai?" the Raichu said, looking up at Ash.

"Well. . ." Ash said. "Nobody can ever replace Pikachu, my first Pokemon. But. . .I do need another electric Pokemon. Welcome to the team, Raichu! Hop on!"

Raichu hopped on Ash's hat. Ash toppled over and his face got smushed in the ground. "Mrffffffff. . ." he mumbled.

Brock laughed heartily. "Ha ha ha! Pikachu's evolved form is much bigger!"

The Viridian Brothers laughed heartily as well.

Misty was staring upwards, where the spring sparkled up in the sun. "Does that mean. . .?"

"Mean what, Misty?" Ash said, getting up.

~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~

109 years later. . .

The Viridian Triplets Jay, Kay, and Ray prayed reverently at the spring.

Ray was suddenly crushed by the bones of an animal with a thunderbolt tail.