Yu-gi-oh! GX: Parody #1
(Disclaimer: I do not own Littlekuriboh's 'super special awesome' characterization of Yugi Mutou. I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX either. The events here are exactly the events of episode 1. The dialogue is changed, however.)
Episode 1: The Main Character
Jaden was running as fast as he can to get to school on time.
Jaden: I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! - OOF!
Jaden realizes that he had bumped into someone.
Jaden: Oh, wow! My cards are all scattered on the floor now… I am sooo gonna be late.
He picks up the cards on the floor. The man that he had bumped into was watching him as he did this.
Yugi: I don't know why the hell I'm handing out random cards to random people, but I feel that this might be helpful to you. (gets a card from the deck box)
Jaden:(takes card) What's this?
Yugi: I decided to pass my super special awesome main character position unto you for no reason whatsoever.
Jaden: Wow! This must be my lucky day! So, is this card the secret to becoming the main character?
Yugi: I'm going to walk away slowly now to prolong my screen time… Since I only appear in one ep.
Jaden: Yeah! You do that. Meanwhile, I'll just look at this Winged Kuriboh you just gave me and keep wondering why you gave it to me.
Yugi shows a thumbs up and a smile as he leaves. Jaden looks at the Winged Kuriboh, forgetting the reason why he was running so fast in the first place.
Winged Kuriboh: Get to school, you idiot!
Jaden: Huh? (looks around) Who said that? Oh no. This could only mean one thing... Ghosts! (runs)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
At Duel Academy…
Crowler: (First day of school. Great. I've got no more time to watch my favorite soap opera…)
A cyan-haired student is seen getting attacked by a Leghul.
Syrus: Buugs! I hate bugs! Big brother! Help me!
Zane:(Hey Alexis, nice outfit.- No. That sucks. She's in her school uniform for goodness sake!)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Syrus: Whooh! Glad that duel was over.
Jaden: Hey! (pops out suddenly) Check out that guy!
Jaden points to Bastion, a well-rounded student who was currently taking the entrance exam duel.
Test Instructor: Any last words, noob?
Bastion: Yes… Ring of Fire, destroy him!
Bastion's trap, Ring of Destruction, is hurled at Vorse Raider. The test instructor's LP drop to 0.
Test Instructor: I lost!
Bastion: I win.
Chazz's Friend 1: That was a really fast duel! That Bastion is a really good duelist! He beat the test instructor!-
Chazz: -And so did fifty million other people.
Jaden: Bastion's good. But not great.
Syrus: Wow. It's just the first day and you're already trying to put down your school mates.
Jaden: And you are?
Syrus: Syrus. Syrus Truesdale. Say, do you think I-
Jaden: -Whatever you're about to say, I don't care. Coz I'm a much better topic! (points to himself)
Syrus: You're mean. Who are you?
Jaden: Jaden.
Syrus: I hate to break it to you Jaden, but I think you're going to be the worst main character ever.
Jaden: (eyes pop) WHAT?!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Instructor 1: Madame Crowler-
Crowler: Excuse me?
Instructor 1: Sorry. Mrs. Crowler-
Crowler: It's doctor.
Instructor 1: Doctor Crowler. Jaden Yuki has arrived at the last minute. Since there's no way this show is going to run without him, we decided to let him in. We hope you under-
Crowler: What?! You fools! I will not tolerate tardiness! That is the first sign of a slacker!
Instructor 1: Whoa. Someone's cranky this morning.
Instructor 2: Yeah… what he said.
Crowler: (angry) It's my mummy, okay?! She forgot to call me and say goodnight! (flails arms furiously)
Crowler's cell phone rings.
Crowler: Mummy? --- Oh, Chancellor Sheppard! Good morning!
Sheppard: Crowler. I randomly called you on your cellphone to inform you to give all students a chance to participate. That is all.
Crowler: WHAT?!
Sheppard: I am the principal and therefore you shall obey! (hangs up)
Crowler: (angry... again.) That bastard. Doesn't anybody know how to run this school properly? If I were principal, every student would be the best of the best! There will be no room for slackers, horseplay, or a strange cult that magically turns the Obelisk Blue dormitory to white! (looks the other way) I'll deal with that slacker myself. (stands up and walks away)
Instructor 1: Wait, Dr. Crowler… you forgot your cookies. (shows an open box of cookies)
Crowler glares at him.
Crowler: (snobbishly turns away) Hm! (walks away...AGAIN.)
Instructor 1: Uh… Does that mean we get to have it?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bastion sits down, back from his entrance exam duel.
Jaden: You've got some skill, Bastion! Too bad you're far from being the main character!
Bastion is shocked. He looks at Jaden.
Announcement:Will Jaden Yuki please report to the Duel Rink.
Jaden: Alright! My time to shine! (walks down to the Duel Rink)
Bastion: Hey!
Jaden: (looks back) Yeah?
Bastion: If I'm not the main character, then who is?
Jaden: (points to self) Me of course! A mysterious stranger that nobody can recognize passed that position unto me! You're just another Tristan Taylor! Haha, sucker! (walks his way to the Duel Rink)
Syrus: Wow. Jaden really is the main character! …I'm totally gonna tag along with him for more screen time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
At the Duel Rink, Crowler is waiting for Jaden. The platform Jaden was stepping on rises its way to the Duel Rink.
Jaden:(Wow. This school is so high tech.)
Crowler: Slacker, go home to mummy!
Jaden: (faces Crowler) Oh my god! I'm dueling a woman! (stands upright)
Crowler: My name is Dr. Vellian Crowler. I am a professor in this school. A very good one at that!
Jaden: That's cool! I'm dueling a surgeon-instructor woman! This should be easy.
Crowler: (sweatdrop) What a boob!
Chazz's Friend 1: Wow. Could anyone be so confident?
Chazz's Friend 2: Yeah. Anyone who makes Crowler sweatdrop like that must be a total idiot!
Chazz:(IneedtopeeIneedtopeeIneedtopeeIneedtopee)-
In the stands…
Alexis: That Jaden kid. He's cute.
Zane: Hey, Lex. Nice outfit.
Alexis: (looks at Zane) Huh?
Zane: I mean… I was… I um… … … … … … never mind.
Alexis looks back at Jaden.
Zane:(Damn.)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Crowler: I sacrifice my tokens to summon a Transformer!
Ancient Gear Golem appears.
Chazz/Bastion: (shocked) Optimus Prime!
Alexis: Zane! Look!
Zane:(Quick! Say something!)
(Sound of crickets) Zane says nothing.
Zane:(Damn.)
Jaden: That's a pretty rotten-looking Transformer! When was the last time you cleaned that thing?
Students: Kill that shitty kid, Optimus Prime!
Syrus: God! Should've been Bumblebee!
Zane: I can't believe that kid has the guts to criticize a Transformer like that… I wish he'd die.
Alexis: Oh, shut up, Zane. You're just jealous coz I'm totally crushing on Jaden.
Zane: (Damn.)
Crowler: Optimus Prime, attack that slacker's pathetic monster before we get Avian flu!
Jaden:(Shit. I never saw that coming.) (places hand on top of deck)
Winged Kuriboh: I'm a ghost!
Jaden: Huh? (draws a card and looks at Winged Kuriboh intently)
Winged Kuriboh: Hello Jaden!
Jaden: (It's WK! That stranger with a tri-colored hair gave this card to me! Who is he anyway?)
(Flashback)
Yugi: I'm passing my super special awesome main character power unto you!
(End Flashback)
Winged Kuriboh: My wings are glowing! (wings glow white)
Jaden: Swweet! My card has holographic effects! I wonder what else it can do? (eyes scan card thoroughly)
Winged Kuriboh:Wink! (winks)
Jaden: (Whoa! It's animated! Okay. This is definitely enough evidence to convince me that this card is good enough to put on my field.) I set Winged Kuriboh in defense!
Crowler: Idiot. You don't know anything! Optimus Prime, attack!
Winged Kuriboh is destroyed.
Sparkle. Sparkle.
Crowler: What? WK's effect is only resolved after the Damage Step! Optimus Prime's piercing effect should have obliterated you!
Jaden: Well, this isn't just any ordinary Winged Kuriboh. It's animated!
Crowler: WHAT?!
At the stands…
Alexis: Jaden's so HOT! He's breaking the rules… he's a real bad boy!
Zane: Bad boy, ay? Well, I can be a bad boy too, you know. I can wear a dark outfit and be all gothic and emo, if that's what you want.
Alexis: That's sweet of you Zane, but it would help if your face had more expression when you say things.
At the duel…
Crowler: You're a slacker and a rule breaker!
Jaden: That's because I'm the main character! I have the power to defy the rules! Attack, Flame Wingman!
Crowler: Nooo! It can't be! No! No! No!
Ancient Gear Golem collapses and caves in on Crowler.
Crowler: …I'm dead and nobody cares.
Chazz: Shit! I think I wet myself!
Alexis: Oh my god! I think I'm in love. Who do you think I'm in love with, Zane? (looks at Zane)
Zane: Damn. (walks away)
Syrus: Yes! Zane got busted!
Bastion: That's quite a phenomenon.
Jaden: Yes! I win! I win! Oh yeah! Who's ya daddy? (looks at WK) Thanks, li'l guy! I could never have won Alexis' heart without that sexy wink of yours.
Winged Kuriboh: Yeah baby! (winks) I'm sexy!