Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a fair maiden, named Dancette. Dancette had many suitors, but one group of suitors, was particularly persistent. This group of men, once friends, would be torn apart by their love for this maiden.
Verily, a joust begins! Graf comes riding on a quarter-horse, and Le Comte comes riding on the Bastallion. "Oh my!" cries Dancette, his velvet dress flowing in the wind. "Please, Gentlemen! There is enough of me to go around!" "I am, it must be done!" said Nobusama. Max approached to start the joust. "Begin." He said quietly. The two men charged at each other, lances gleaming in the sunlight. But some of that light reflected, and got in the Bastallion's eyes. "My eyes Milord!" It screamed in anguish. "Damn it Bastille! That is why we cut off you toe!" Le Comte shouted. However, Graf's horse was startled by the screaming, and threw Graf off of it. Bastille, blinded and confused, trampled Graf to death. "Oh no! Are you not sorry for him?" Dancette asked in horror. "I am, I am." Replied Nobusama. "What does that even mean?" "I am, I am what I am, I am, I am not what I am not, understand?"?" "Uh…no?" Said Dancette. "I am." "You are what?" 'I am, you will understand when you are older and wiser, fair maiden." "Silence." Whispered Max, "It is time for the next battle." "I am, I am next, and I am." Nobusama said bravely as he pulled out his katana. "Good riddance…" mumbled Dancette. "Do you want some of this?" Le Comte shouted at the top of his lungs while kicking the useless Bastallion out of his way. "I am, I do." said Nobusama. Le Comte look perplexed, he pulled out his ear-horn. "What did you say?" He inquired. "I am, I am not repeating myself." "So, you are repeating yourself?" "I am, I said I am not!" "Well, I am, I am tired of your shit you stupid chink!" Nobusama laughed. "I am, you are not, but I am." He took a swipe at Le Comte with his sword, but Le Comte side stepped it, like a Boss. Then Le Comte started making odd noises, terrible sounding odd noises! "Now is not the time to be writing songs!" said Dancette. Suddenly, a giant portal opened in the sky, and a magical chainsaw fell from the heavens into Le Comte's hands! "No one liked you anyway!" Le Comte said, as he cut Nobusama's body in two. "I am, I am slain! I am, I am not, what not am I-I-is…."The portly little chink started malfunctioning. "No, my love!" cried Sissy in pure terror. "Why did you cheat on me, why did you have to die?" "I am, I am, I am sorry." Then, Nobusama shut down, forever. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" The screaming was interrupted by the chainsaw. Le Comte was being loud and annoying as usual (just like mein Vater), running around with the chainsaw cutting random objects, and screaming: "Which of you bitches wants some now?" Sissy was enraged. He stomped over to Le Comte, and bitch-slapped the life right out of him. "My goodness, a critical hit!" exclaimed Dancette. "Now, I shall go to be with my love…." Sissy said, with tears in his eyes. Sissy used self-destruct, Sissy fainted! Max gained 50 exp. "Well, that settles that." Max said, "Just let all of the idiots kill each other, which was my plan all along. Come, my love. We must return to the castle." Max took a step forward, but the broken and beaten Bastallion grabbed his leg. "It seems that you have all forgotten." Bastille said menacingly, "The booty is mine." And Max was torn apart at the atomic level. "My hero!" said fair maiden, Dancette. "Let us make babies immediately!" "We cannot." said Bastlle, "Our author is disgusted by M-preg."
DAS ENDERSCHLAUFEN