"Reindeer." Owen announced as he slugged a mouthful of coffee before considering how hot it would be. His face flushed as he hurriedly swallowed it down then opened his mouth, fishlike, to cool his tongue. "I mean who the fuck uses Reindeer?"

Gwen stretched back in her chair, which was in danger of rolling backwards on its wheels.

"Well Santa, obviously, duh!" Her mug had been placed on her desk at her elbow.

Ianto rolled his eyes as he passed a mug of green tea to Toshiko who had also abandoned her work to take a little break. "What I want to know is, how does Santa manage the rapid increase in the human population with the same vehicle he's been using since….. well since Santa began."

Jack was chuckling as he stepped down from his office to meet Ianto half way. Ianto proffered his silver tray and Jack took his blue and white striped mug of ambrosia from the heavenly body before him. Ianto ignored the leer and went and sat on the sofa. Jack followed him and the two of them sat down, Jack putting his feet up on the table, legs crossed at the ankles.

"Perhaps he's got more elves, I hear they breed like rabbits." Jack commented.

"Only you Harkness." Owen wrinkled his nose.

"He must have a teleporter, most houses don't have chimneys and double glazing is a bitch to get through." Gwen finally stopped rolling in her chair and grinned at Ianto. "Or maybe he's just good everything like Ianto."

Ianto was glad he wasn't about to swallow a mouthful of coffee.

"Maybe he is Ianto." Jack turned and faced him with a wickedly naughty smile. "After all red IS his colour."

Ianto could feel his cheeks colour under Jack's intense gaze. "I don't think Santa is Welsh somehow."

"So where does he come from then?"

All eyes turned to Ianto.

"Lapland."

Owen plonked himself on the end of the coffee table furthest away from Jack's feet.

"That still doesn't answer my first question."

There was a thoughtful silence and it was only interrupted by the cawing in the rafters coming from a dozing pteranodon. Ianto's face lit up.

"If I was Santa, which is a distinct possibility, since I know everything, I'd have a golden open topped Landrover Discovery pulled by a flock pteradactyls."

Jack tipped his head back and laughed.

"That is so gay Tea Boy."

Ianto didn't care as the idea grew in his mind. "That's you not getting any presents this year then."

Owen was smiling. "So along with your distinctly girly transport what clothes would you wear?"

Ianto pondered the question for a moment.

"It would have to be warm and practical of course."

"Of course." Gwen and Tosh chorused.

"But Jack is quite right, so maybe a red shirt with a black suit with sparkly sequins on the collar and cuffs." Ianto turned to face Jack and their eyes met.

"I like the sound of that." Jack smiled somewhat dreamily at him.

"You would Jack." Gwen was grinning. "So are we your elves then?"

Ianto nodded. "Well Tosh would be engineer, you know in case the car breaks down. I could hire Rhys and you could do all my route planning. Owen…. Well I'd need a vet on standy just in case…"

"Vet? I am not Dr Doolittle." Owen was outraged and smiling at the same time.

"Ssshh Harper this is my fantasy!"

It took Ianto a moment to notice that his four colleagues were gaping at him.

"Why Mr Jones….. so what's my job, I could be your personal assistant?" Jack raised an eyebrow and gave Ianto what could only be described as a 'come hither' look.

Ianto arched an eyebrow back and met Jack's gaze with the faintest of smiles, seeing the hope build in Jack's darkening eyes.

"Well I'd need someone to muck out the eirie and load the vehicle."

Jack pouted as the other three barked out raucous laughter. Ianto held Jack's look.

"But I am sure I could find it in myself to reward you for all your hard work."

Owen made puking sounds. "Enough…. So, Reindeer?"