Realised that I'd better hurry up and put this on the net or Real life might overtake!
I don't own the characters, or, in this case, the format.
With much love and thanks to the creators of Rizzoli and Isles, and equal love and inspiration from Dorothy Snarker and Ingrid Diaz, and all the wonderful, creative, inspired people on Tumblr who keep the love coming. Please take this in the tone it was intended: that is, that imitation is the best form of flattery.
Tuesday Morning Dream
RIZZOLI & ISLES RECAP S3.0..?
This recap is for the people who didn't watch last night's episode. Anyone who watched and played the drinking game is dead. Anyone who watched sober hyperventilated and is still passed out.
The scary bit before the opening credits is unusually not scary (depending on one's view on the institution of marriage). It's sepia toned, wobbly footage of a wedding, complete with confetti and blushing bride.
After the opening the credits the show returns to normality, with Jane and Maura in bed together. Maura's hand is even on Jane's thigh bringing us a record 0 seconds before the first TGTGT.
But this time they are having the conversation that proceeded many a gay lady's coming out. Jane is explaining that she just doesn't get love. She's got no problem with it for other people, but for her, it seems like a big deal over something not that major. She prefers to concentrate on her work and her friendships and not be tied down, etc, etc.
Maura is listening, but not agreeing. She is telling Jane that she might be being very narrow minded in her idea of what a healthy relationship is, and how a long term relationship with the right person might actually be of benefit to her. Which gets her a patented Jane Rizzoli, 'really?'
Because this is actually meant to be a crime show and not just a lesbian processing show, Jane's phone rings. It's not only us who have come to expect Jane and Maura to be together at all hours of the day, because after speaking to Jane Korsak obviously asks for Maura and Jane hands the phone over.
Jane and Maura arrive at the crime scene. Jane's wearing her usual suit while Maura's in a dress. So one more piece of evidence that they are keeping clothes at each other's places now.
The victims are an elderly couple, who are described by Frost as having been 'together forever', thus introducing out theme for the evening.
Jane is less impressed with his foreshadowing and gives a typically Jane, 'urgh'. Frost looks to Maura for explanation.
"Is this because of her parent's divorce?" he asks.
"No. I think it's because of something I said," says Maura. And in a moment of un-Maura like insight, shakes her head as a sign that she won't be going any further down that road with Frost.
Cop stuff happens. People are dead. Someone did it. The team are going to find out who. Maura's hair is very shiny.
In the lab Jane is using her interrogation skills to get information out of Maura. You know, cos two people might be dead, but Jane has stuff on her mind. Specifically she wants to clarify what Maura might have meant by her being narrow minded about love.
Maura explains that Jane appears to believe that allowing herself to fall in love would somehow diminish her. Jane says what we all already know, that is that she is perfect as she is, and doesn't feel that she should risk messing with a life that's pretty good. Not put off by being surrounded by dead bodies, Maura waits for Jane to look her in eye, they eye shag and Maura says,
"For many people adding a romantic element to an existing relationship enhances that relationship. Love makes things better."
In what I can only see as being a way to break mood and stop them having wild sex right there in the lab, Jane gestures towards the bodies of the dead couple and says,
"Can't say true love did much to help these two out,"
Jane somehow manages to get out of the building and to an interview with the victims' son without taking Maura with her. In the car Frost comments on Jane's silence by asking if she and Maura have had a lover's tiff. He laughs. Jane does not, and she further signals her mood by putting her hair up into the ponytail of righteousness.
In the house Jane takes out her frustrations on the son: she doubts his parents lives could possibly have been as scandal-free and perfect as he's claiming (although, being Jane, she still finds time to comment that his mother was really beautiful, as they look through old photos). She has an idea! Was it murder-suicide? Surely one of them felt trapped? Did his mother resent not going back into workforce after her children were born? Did his father miss the travelling he did in his youth?
No. Perfect Family was Perfect.
Jane's intestines feel that something isn't right here; this man isn't upset enough the death of his parents. Back at the office Korsak and Frost agree and call him in for a second interview. It turns out that his serenity comes from believing that the fact that they died together is something very special, as at least one was never left without the other, as he doubts either would have survived that.
Jane makes the kind of vomiting motions she normally reserves for discussions about babies, sex with anyone-who-isn't-Maura and the colour pink, and goes to see Maura.
On the way downstairs she runs into Angela and has a rather cryptic conversation with her about how she was wrong over the son being a plausible suspect, because of Maura going on about love, and if love was left out of life she'd not have made a mistake like that, so therefore Maura is very wrong, about everything. And love never, ever improved anything ever. And, did she mention that Maura is wrong?
Actually it's not so much a 'conversation', as a rant. When there's a pause Angela pulls Jane towards her, into a big Mama-hug.
"Honey, Maura so worried you'd be upset , but I think it's really good thing that you two are finally talking about love."
Jane pulls away from the hug and straightens her back defensively. Jane realises that her mother thinks that one of the Ls in LLBFFs might stand for 'lesbian', and also that this might be what Maura has been getting at, too. She runs off down the stairs and bursts into the ME's office.
"I'm not gay, Maura." This is not a good thing to hear. But she then makes a better point: "Not liking pink, not liking 'girlyness', not wearing makeup, being a cop – those things don't make me gay."
After pointing out that as Jane's best friend she would have hoped that Jane would believe that she knew her better than to simply apply stereotypes or to be judgemental, Maura then trumps Jane with an even better point:
"You are quite correct, Jane. Begin gay is not about outward indicators of socially accepted gender-appropriate behaviour, but about attraction to someone of the same sex. 'Homo', as in 'homosexuality' is from the Greek, homos, for same, not for 'softball playing' or 'hating pink'. The Ancient Greeks wouldn't have had a word for softball. Anyway, the reason I said what I did this morning was because we were in bed together, talking about lack of attraction to men, and I wondered if you - "
"Stop!" says Jane. She throws Maura a stare that is half eye-shag and half death-stare then walks out of the lab, saying, loud enough to startle the lab technicians behind the glass, that she is "independent, strong and single". Notably she didn't say was straight, and Maura's expression suggests that she may have noticed this omission, too.
At her desk Jane takes off her jacket to reveal a top she defiantly got from Maura's cupboard. There's stuff happening about the crime plot. Korsak mentions something he needs to clarify with the ME and asks Jane if she'd like to go down and ask. Jane reasserts that she's independent and single and doesn't need Maura – or anyone.
Frankie dares to ask his sister if she's okay, and is shushed by Jane who claims to be busy. Frankie asks how busy she can be seeing as she's staring at a blank computer screen.
"I'm thinking," says Jane.
"You do realise that we've already caught the killer?" asks Frost, from across the room, before he proceeds to sum up the non-subplot for all those people who weren't paying attention to it.
Korsak hangs up the phone (turns out you can call Maura, not just visit), shushes everybody, tells them to leave Jane alone and sends them home. Jane Rizzoli is alone at her desk with her police badge in one hand and a wedding photo of the murdered couple in the other.
Back in Maura's apartment Maura is in the kitchen cooking when her doorbell rings. It's Jane. Maura asks if she's come to the watch the game on her big screen. There's no point even looking for the innuendo in that sentence, because of what's coming next.
Jane says that, no, she doesn't feel like watching tv. She wants to sit with Maura for a bit.
Maura agrees and at first they sit awkwardly; the two of them on the couch, with the largest gap there has ever been between them, and both staring forward at the blank tv screen. Then Jane lifts her legs and puts them in Maura's lap, just the way she did in S2.01 when Maura suggested 'the hard way' for getting Jane out of her clothes.
Maura visibly relaxes. So there they are in this scene of domestic bliss. Legs touching, Maura rubbing Jane's legs, Jane looking at Maura, who looks up and the eye-shagging begins.
Jane then tells Maura that she was right. She, Jane, is a not worse off for being around Maura. Maura makes her a better person: a better daughter, a better sister, a better detective. And then, there it is:
"So maybe everyone is right, and this is love."
In this universe we know that 'love' might mean many things, but what comes next cannot be misinterpreted.
As Maura begins to say, "I'm always right, Jane" (or something similar) Jane leans forward and kisses her. Maura leans in also and kisses her back.
Then fade to black, and silence - until the thud of Maura and Jane shippers hitting floor around the world tilts the globe on its axis.