Summary: *ATF/AU* After a successful mission, Vin struggles to return to normalcy.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything "The Magnificent Seven" related, Characters of M7 do not belong to me, I like so many others before me am merely using the amazing universe of the ATF, no monetary compensation received, just the pleasure of creative writing as stress relief
Rating: T
Author's Notes: This snippet fits into a larger story that exists which I created. Its my first attempt at angst. It follows most of the ATF canon, but new characters are being introduced. (My other story Beginnings lays the foundation for the events going on here. It might me helpful to read that one first.) I am posting (out of order as I finish them). I thought of this after being inspired from reading stories posted by all of you much more talented authors. I hope I have posted something others will enjoy reading.
Please be kind in your reviews! Not Betaed
The Bust by Sapphire Lee
Vin had a thin hold on his control / savagery after the intense events at the bust that day. He had been pacing back and forth at the scene, he was jittery, and on edge. He felt like the crowds of people around him were squeezing out all the air. Vin knew he was always walking a fine line for self control. Tonight he felt it slipping through his fingers.
JD came up to Vin from behind and slapped him on the back in congratulations for their success, no one on their team had been injured, everyone was enjoying the heady feelings. Vin whipped around and slammed JD to the ground, with lethal force.
"Whoa, its me Vin, JD. I'm not the bad guy, we took them out remember?" JD said holding his hands up in surrender
Vin got in JD's face and snarled "Don't ever sneak up on me, if you value your life, you will never forget that" and slammed JD once for emphasis and stalked off.
Chris only caught the tale end of those actions, as his attention was being pulled in a million directions, due to the chaos of the bust and all the various teams milling about the warehouse. He walked over swiftly, lowered a hand and grasped JD's palm and helped jerk him to his feet.
"What was that all about?"
"Nuthing, I just surprised him is all" JD replied while dusting off his clothing and bullet proof vest. Chris wanted to go after Vin, but then his attention was pulled away and he went to go deal with other issues. The concern for Vin, was placed on the back burner for now.
"You want me to get Ezra to check on him?" JD inquired.
"Naw, give him some time to cool down, then you go check on him, he will want to apologize for slamming you. Call me later and update me on the situation."
JD walked over to where he had seen Vin go, but now the sharpshooter was no where to be seen. "Where in the hell did he disappear to?" JD said scratching his head. "Guess he caught a ride out of here already. That's weird, he never leaves without the team" JD walked back to where his fellow ATF agents were standing. Everyone was congratulating on the success of the mission and the fact that no good guys were lost. It was bitter sweet, since Vin not there to share the accolades with Team 7.
Back at the Federal Building
JD stored his gear, showered and changed back into his own clothes. Still no sign of Vin. JD stopped by the bullpen, no one else was there, the light was on in Chris' office. JD knocked on the door.
"Come in" came through the door. JD pushed open the door and entered Chris' lair.
Chris looked at him expectantly, " I ain't seen any sign of him" JD said tiredly as he dropped himself into a chair. Chris swore under his breath. Where the hell had that damn tracker gone?
"Did you inform the others?"
"Naw"
"This is what we are going to do, you go by his place, see if he's home, then call me, together, we will go see him. I just need to finish up here, then I'm out of here"
"OK, got it" JD stood and left Chris' office, took the elevator to the parking garage and got into his Chevy Tahoe and drove over to Vin's apartment. He couldn't see lights on the house. JD parked and went up to Vin's place, as he neared the front door he could hear, crashes and yelling coming from inside. JD knocked, his knock went unanswered. More crashes sounded from inside. He tried the door, it was locked. Damn! JD was getting really worried. He tried dialing Chris' number.
"DAMN IT!" no answer. He tried again. Same result. Finally, JD gave in to desperation and dialed Sherry.
"Sorry to bother you so late, but I can't get a hold of Chris. It's Vin. I need you to get here quick to Vin's house."
The blood drained out of Sherry's face "What's wrong?" she asked into the phone
"I've never seen him this keyed up before after a bust. I'm concerned he is going to hurt himself or someone else" JD responded.
"I'll be there at once. Keep trying to track down Chris, have him come at once"
Sherry knew that the many atrocities Vin had witnessed in the army and the many kills he had participated in had taken its toll on him. He had a tough exterior, an extremely hard head, but a sensitive heart.
When Sherry arrived at Vin's apartment, she found JD in the hallway. "He locked the door, he won't let anyone in. I came to check on him, since he seemed really upset after the mission we completed today. I'm concerned, I heard things getting smashed inside. "
Just then, Chris came storming up the hallway. "How is he JD? Brief me on the situation" he demanded. JD recounted the same things he had told Sherry.
"I can reach him, he won't hurt me" Sherry said with conviction.
"No way, I am not risking you, you don't know what he is like, he could hurt you or kill you, when he is out of it like this" Chris refused
"I can reach him, I can get through to him, he won't hurt me" Sherry said with certainty.
Chris was at war with himself, he knew Vin would be inconsolable if something happened to Sherry, but he was also desperate to get through to Vin before he hurt himself.
"Let me try first, then if I can't get through, you try." Sherry was already nodding acceptance before Chris finished speaking. Chris grabbed her upper arm and made her face him "Listen to me, if he makes a move to hurt you, I am taking him down, no hesitation, you got it? I am deadly serious"
"OK"
"OK…can you handle that?" Chris asked again
"Do I have a choice?" Sherry said flatly.
"Not that I can see." Chris responded. He hated putting her in danger, but if he couldn't reach Vin this time, there was no choice.
"Then yes, I'll do what I have to."
Sherry unlocked Vins front door slowly with her key, Chris peered in and cautiously entered. The door slammed in Sherry's face. She stood outside fretting and stressing. JD came over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She wrapped her arm around his waist and took the comfort he was offering. There were some shouts and crashes from inside the apartment. Sherry felt like she was going to tear apart at the seams from worry. Something heavy hit the front door, then the door opened and Chris was thrown out forcefully into the hallway.
He looked slightly worse for wear and had the beginnings of swelling that would turn into a bruise on his jaw. "Well" he drawled, "Guess its time for plan B" he said meaningfully looking at Sherry.
Sherry tentatively entered Vin's apartment. It was dark in the house, Sherry was momentarily without her sight as her eyes adjusted from the bright hallway to the dark interior. It only took that second for Vin to grab her, knock her off her feet, and pin her to the floor with his knife pressed sharply against her throat.
"sssh, ssh Vin, its me, Sheridan" Sherry said brokenly, but she could see Vin's eyes were not seeing the present, they were trapped away, in some other reality for the moment. "You know Sherry, your closest friend, sister?"
Sherry could see waves of anguish crashing over Vin, demons only he could see were chasing him.
"Hay Vin, no one's going to make you do anything, there just are some really concerned folks that want to make sure you are OK" Sherry tried again, trying to break through to Vin.
"You vermin, infect the society we live in, you need to be eradicated" Vin said in a detached emotionless voice.
Gathering up her courage, she stood up to Vin, "No! You listen to me Vincent Devlin Tanner, there will not be any more eradicating, or killing this night" Sherry shouted at him.
He seemed taken back at her shout. He hesitated. She used that moment's distraction to flip him off her using her martial arts training and at the same time she wrenched the knife away from her neck, but she was not strong enough, even with the adrenaline pumping through her body. The knife dragged along her throat creating an ugly bleeding line. Sherry gasped, she could feel something wet on her neck, but in the dark it was hard to tell. Sherry used the second she had created by tossing Vin, to scramble to her knees and get away from Vin. She scurried around the kitchen table. She was keeping the table between herself and him. He stalked her around the room.
She wiped at her neck, her hand felt warm wet sticky liquid, ick, she thought. "Now Vin, how about you put that knife down so we can talk?"
"Remember how we used to play together as young kids? Wasn't that a fun time? No responsibility." She kept remenicing, trying to jog his memory of happy events.
"Remember your 13th birthday? We were so excited, they thought we were so grown up, no longer tweens, but full fledged teens. I remember Mrs. Martinez teaching me volleyball. That was one of the best days of my life. You know what the best day of my life was, meeting you in that foster home. Vin you always protected me, from all the big baddies, don't you become the biggest baddy of them all" Sherry pleaded. She kept glancing at the knife held menacingly in his hand and kept looking for his rifle. She just prayed that he didn't have that within reaching distance. She didn't want to find out if she was faster than a speeding bullet.
Slowly the knife tipped down towards the floor. Sherry pressed her advantage, "I remember graduating junior high, it was such a tremendous accomplishment for two little orphan kids. We showed them, huh?"
"It was so exciting staring high school. And intimidating, well for me at least, you were so comfortable and cocky, you walked those halls like you owned the place. I remember you coming to everyone of my home volleyball games. I was so lucky Mrs. Martinez got me an athletic scholarship to play. She was a classy lady, never looked at me like I was worthless, just because I didn't have parents."
"I remember…" came the halting voice. "Yes Vin, what do you remember?" Sherry encouraged, "Please come back to me Vin, I need you more than you can imagine. We have to rely on each other, we only got each other. It was fate that we crossed paths again, I won't lose you now"
The knife was dangling loosely in his hand. Sherry slowly edged around the table, ready to bolt back if he showed the slightest sign of aggression. Cautiously approaching Vin, Sherry touched his arm, he didn't flinch or attack. She slowly wrapped her hand around the knife handle and gently tugged it from his hand, she laid it on the table behind her. She wrapped her arms around his chest, while his arms just hung at his sides. Slowly he reached up and engulfed her in a tight bear hug. She hugged him with all of her strength.
"I got you, I got you, you're going to be OK, you're safe" Sherry soothed as she hugged and rocked Vin in her arms. Slowly, Sherry maneuvered Vin to the couch and sat with him. Suddenly, Chris was before them and JD was standing off to the side looking on nervously. He turned on a light. Sherry looked around the place, it was trashed. Vin had taken out some of his anger on the objects around the room
"We got it under control Kid, how about you head home and get some rest, you deserve it. I'll stay with Vin and Sherry" Chris said gently.
"I'm sorry I got you dragged into this Sherry" JD said
"Don't you worry about it, you did exactly the right thing getting me" She said using her reassuring teacher voice. "There is no place I'd rather be than with my family when they are hurting" Sherry continued to hold Vin tightly. JD left to go home, he felt emotionally drained. He worried for his friend and brethren. As he was leaving he dug out his cell phone and called another person who would want to be keep in the loop of events happening tonight, sine he had an interest in the people involved.
"Here Sherry" Chris passed her a towel "for your neck" Sherry looked at Chris in gratitude. Never letting go of Vin, she pressed her hand and the towel to her neck. The cut on her neck stung something fierce, she grimaced in pain.
"You need to get that looked at, it might need stitches"
"No hospitals, I don't care if it does, I'm not leaving right now"
"I can get Nathan to look at it, he patches us all up"
"That would be just fine, lets do that tomorrow, right now I am exhausted, I just want to bundle this guy to bed and hit the sheets myself"
"OK, at least let me put a dressing on that cut, don't want the blood drying to the pillow" Chris went into the bathroom and came back with the first aid kit. He pulled out gauze, cut ointment, and medical tape. It was slightly awkward, as Sherry was holding Vin in her arms. He gently maneuvered around Vin and reached her neck. Vin had his eyes closed during these events. As gently as he could, he tended the wound.
"Thanks, you have really steady hands, that didn't hurt at all" Sherry said "Preciate it"
Later that night
He lay wide awake at night, listening to the rain falling on the roof. How appropriate, that it was storming outside, it mirrored the storm ragging battering around inside himself. Vin struggled to maintain the grip on himself, he was horrified and disgusted that he had hurt Sherry and, had he killed her, he never could have lived with himself. Would he kill to save a life? Definitely. Would he kill to prove he's right? Never. No matter how many deaths I die, I will never forget. No matter how many lives I live, I will never forget. He could only hope for numbness from the pain. There was a fire devouring his insides and he felt like he was going to explode. He now had a much better empathy for what Chris dealt with on a daily basis with the loss of his family. It amazed and impressed the hell out of Vin that Chris was so functional and capable at this job. He didn't let the demons take control. Of course there was the three dark years, when Chris fell into the abyss, but he pulled himself out with the help of Buck. Sherry was his Buck, and in a sense, so was Chris, for Vin.
Vin quietly climbed out of bed, Sherry would be so mad if she knew he had gotten up. After all she had nagged, cajoled, and finally pleaded him into bed in the first place. Vin remembered every painful minute of the evening, he wished it was a black out, then at least he wouldn't have to replay the events in his mind on an endless loop. Vin stood by the bedside, looking down at Sherry as she slept. He could see the bandage covering the cut along her neck where he had hurt her. Hurt at his hand. He was disgusted with himself. She was resting peacefully, so opposite to the ragging emotions he felt. He quietly walked out of the bedroom and stopped in shock. Chris was sitting on Vin's chair, sleeping. Vin stood there staring hesitantly, wondering when Chris had come in?
"I can feel you standing over there, might as well as come sit down" Chris drawled without lifting his head, but his eyes were now open.
Vin shuffled over and dropped down on the couch. "How long…"
"have I been here? Well shortly after Sherry come in and got you distracted, I slipped in and stood watch. I gotta be honest, for the first time I had my doubts about you, I did not entirely trust you not to hurt her. She did though, had complete conviction and faith in you. She never doubted you for a second, never gave up on you. I had respect for the girl before, but now, it has grown exponentially. That girl has grit and stubborn streak a mile wide"
"But I did hurt her Chris, for that I can never forgive myself. Chris I lost control, snapped, I could have seriously hurt someone. Shit I did seriously hurt her. Just a slight flick of my wrist, and I could have hit her jugular, she would have bled out on my floor in minutes"
"Hay cowboy, we have all been there, the darkest pit of despair, every person on this team, understands. But we are also there for each other, so you can't shut us out like that. I mean it, or else I will have to pound you into the ground until it gets through that thick head of yours." Chris threatened affectionately.
"I gotta leave, I need to get out of here, it feels like the walls are closing in"
"I know, I got your vehicle packed and gassed up. You go take as much time as you need, we'll all be here when you get back to help pick up the pieces."
"Chris …"
"Never you mind, you get better, then come back to us"
"Sherry…, if I disappear in the middle of the night, it will devastate her, I can't do that to her. Not after she brought me back from the edge of madness. But I can't find the words to explain right now, I need time to clear my head"
"Don't fret, I got it all taken care of, I will stay here, and when she wakes up, I will explain things" Chris reassured.
"I feel like I could lose her forever. It's too late to apologize for the things I've done. She's turning to someone else, and I am driving her right into those arms" Vin said, shaking his head and avoiding saying the name of the someone else in question.
"No, its only too late, when you are laying 6 feet under, until then, its never too late. I'm going to tell you something, now listen up and listen good, Sherry will always be with you, you hear me? She will always be in your heart, and no one, I mean, no one can take that away from you. Only you can cast that away."
Vin took a deep breath and exhaled. He thought over Chris' words, then nodded. He stood up and quietly walked into the bedroom. Chris came to the door frame to watch. Vin walked over to Sherry, he leaned down, whispered something in her ear, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She mumbled something inarticulate in her sleep and settled into peaceful slumber again. Vin turned, grabbed his boots, nodded at Chris, paused at the doorway to look back at Sherry one last time, as if he was memorizing her, he turned and walked out of the room and out of the apartment. He swept up the keys from Chris, and took off into the night. He needed to come to peace with his demons.
The hardest thing Chris has ever done, was watch his brother, his friend, walk away while in pain. But it had to be done. He sighed, and settled down into the chair he had occupied earlier. The front door opened, and a man walked into Vins apartment. Chris didn't even open his eyes this time. He knew from the sound of the footfalls, that it was not Vin, he did not expect to see Vin for some time.
"You watch him leave?"
"Yes, ah did" responded a southern voice.
"I should not be surprised to see you here. You been around all evening?"
"No, I didn't know what was going on until I got a message from JD. He wanted to make sure I was in the loop, thought I might want to come see my friend" Ezra sighed deeply. "It was for the best that I not be around, I figured I just set him off even more"
"Probably right, that man is a might temperamental when it comes to Sherry" Chris said
"That is the understatement of the year, and I should know about understatements"
Chris and Ezra just sat in silence, letting the seconds just tick by. Chris dozed slightly, Ezra, just sat thinking. About an hour or so after Vin had departed, a shout in the bedroom alerted both men in the front room that something had happened. Ezra jumped up from the couch, Chris shot out of his chair at the same moment a terrified and disoriented Sherry came tearing through the bedroom door.
"VIN, WHERE ARE YOU?" she cried. Chris caught her in his arms, she flailed her arms, thrashing. Sherry was not weak, and had extensive martial arts training. She flipped Chris on the ground and took off for the front door. Ezra grabbed her from behind and lifted her off the ground. Tears were pouring down her face, she was breathing hard, her heart was beating a mile a minute. Her anguish tore through Ezra, he was doubly mad at Vin for putting her through this torment and mad at himself for not being here for her before she got to this point. Ezra walked over to the couch with a wriggling, thrashing woman in his arms, Chris had stood up and was rubbing the back of his head and back where he had hit the ground hard. He shook his head in amazement at having been upended by a woman. The guys would never let him hear the end of this.
Ezra turned and sat down on the couch and gathered Sherry in his arms, she seemed to have worn herself out, and had quit fighting. He wasn't taking any chances that she might start fighting again and he kept her locked firmly in his arms. Ezra was rubbing her hair, arms, back soothingly, while whispering in her ear. "Oh Cherie, everything will be Ok, you'll see" She looked defeated, in a sad broken spirit way. Without words spoken, Chris picked up a blanket and laid it over Sherry's legs and draped it over Ezra. He returned to his chair and sat down.
Sherry's hot tears soaked Ezra's shirt, but he didn't care, he would willingly sacrifice a ton of expensive shirts if it would take away the anguish Sherry was experiencing. He knew for the moment the worst may be over, but come morning, when Vin didn't walk through that door, her sorrow and torment would be back. He really hoped she was strong enough to survive it without descending into a depression, or giving up on life. He fervently hoped that her love for Vin would overcome her sense of loss. He also hoped her love for him, could keep her going through the days.
December 2011
More Chapters coming
Where did Vin go? How will Sherry react in the light of morning? Can the team hold everything together without one of their brethren? …
Review please, I would be interested in your thoughts, if you liked it, how it can be improved, positive constructive advice, apprentice writer here, Thanks Lee