Welcome, fellow citizens of Fanfiction! Today, we have everyone's favorite pervert, VS Everyone's least favorite Sparklepire! It's a foregone conclusion, but let's see who wins!!

[Ddraig talking or Boosted Gear activating]

"Normal Speech"

Issei Hyoudou was on his way to a contract. It was a contract he really didn't want to do, but Rias had given him puppy-dog eyes, and no force alive could withstand Rias's stunning eyes.

At least, not in Issei's opinion, but he was rather biased.

The teenaged Pawn was dumped out of the magic-circle, into a dark, creepy wooded area...

[Careful, partner.] Came the voice of Ddraig in the Boosted Gear. [I sense the dreaded Sparklepires!]

"What? Sparklepires? What are those?"

[Lower forms of true Vampires, summoned long ago by a terrible, unholy, Evil book. They are not to be trifled with.]

Issei was about to dismiss these claims sarcastically when he saw a man standing in the sunlight about a hundred yards away, SPARKLING!The figure was holding a limp True Vampire, draining it's blood.

The Sparklepire's eyes snapped up, meeting Issei's.

Then the Sparklepire sprinted straight at him.

Issei grinned. "Big mistake."

[BOOST!]

Issei reared back for a powerful boosted punch...

And summarily got tossed through two trees by the Sparklepire.

The Sparklepire ran circles around the slower Pawn.

"I'm a Vampire," The Sparklepire told Issei in a flat, monotone voice. "I can sense your thoughts, anticipate your attacks."

"Oh yeah? Anticipate them now, douchenozzle!"

Issei opened the floodgates in his mind, letting every perverted thought he'd had in the last two day, a little over a thousand, come to mind, and let Ddraig take over fighting.

The Sparklepire's ears began to smoke, as the overload of thoughts hit him.

The Vamp said, "What a pretty girl. Her blood will be delicious."

Issei stopped laughing in triumph.

"What. Did. You just say."

The Sparklepuss did not notice the killing intent leaking off of him.

"I said, that girl's blood will be quite delicious."

[WELSH DRAGON BALANCE BREAKER! SCALE MAIL!]A fully armored Issei rushed Sparkles, heaving him into the atmosphere bodily.

"You can't lay your hands on me! I am Edward Cullen!"

Issei growled beneath his breath. "You threatend Rias! No one threatens Rias! Ddraig, give me all you got!"

[BOOST X35, TRANSFER!]"Dragon Shot!"

The red beam of energy slammed into Edward Cullen, making him almost burn up in reentry, cratering the ground. Issei noticed that his skin was cracked, like marble from a long fall. Still, the Sparkle puss wasn't quite dead yet.

[BOOST X40!]Issei, overflowing with power, slammed his fist against Cullen, shaking the earth, and shattering the Sparklewimp.

Issei exited Balance Breaker, magic-circling home.

Reasons for the outcome: Edward's mind reading ability was a problem at the start, but once he arrogantly revealed his power, Issei just had to quit thinking about the fight, and project his perverted thoughts, which was how Cullen found out about Rias, which made him lose the fight. There is nothing Issei cares about more than Rias Gremory, and he will do ANYTHING to protect her. Edward's stats just can't match Balance Breaker, and Cullen better thank his lucky sparkles that Ophis wasn't there, or he wouldn't even be ashes, he'd just be gone. He'll heal from this fight, cause Issei didn't know to kill it with fire. I know I'm gonna get flamed Hard for this, but it's cold this June in Florida, so bring the flames!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!