Love will never do without you

Noah Puckerman was MAD. Not mad he was PISSED. No, Noah Puckerman was HURT. How could his boyfriend have said the things he said last night? See Noah Puckerman had a reputation in high school of being an uncaring man whore but since having Beth almost eight years ago and graduating five years ago he has learned what really matters. His family and friends are what matter most to him and he has learned that he will do whatever it takes to make them happy and keep them safe. That is why Kurt's words during their fight almost eighteen hours ago hurt so much and why Noah still couldn't talk to Kurt.

**Flashback**

Noah and Kurt had gone out for dinner and then to a club for the evening. Their daughter Beth was at home with her Nana Carole. The night started off great the boys went to a nice restaurant and enjoyed a leisurely dinner with laughs and love. After dinner they decided to go to a club. The men were enjoying themselves when Noah decided to refill their drinks. Several minutes had past when Kurt realized that Noah still wasn't back. Kurt got up to look for his boyfriend as he reached the bar behind where the couple had been sitting he saw Noah leaning over talking, laughing and flirting in the ear of a blond…woman and not just any blond woman but Quinn Fabray, The only woman Noah has ever loved and the real mother of his child. As Kurt approached the pair he could just make out the end of Noah's last statement, "..I love you." Kurt's heart broke as tears started to stream down his face but just as quickly as they fell Kurt stopped them and clamped down on his anger.

"Noah Uriel Puckerman, ho-ho-how co-could y-y-you. You come home after working all day to OUR house and beg me to send OUR daughter to my parent's house so that you can show me a night on the town and we can enjoy some alone time. We have a beautiful romantic private dinner and then I let you drag me here even though I hate it here because I know that it makes you happy to be here and that is all I have ever wanted and this is how you repay me. You run off to get us drinks and I come to look for you because I was lonely and I find you with HER. I should have known, I should have seen this coming. It has always been her. It was her in freshman year when she was Finn's and it was her when she was pregnant and we all thought it was Finns baby. It was her at the hospital when OUR little girl was born. The little girl she gave away even when you begged her not to because you" refused to be like him". It was her days and weeks later when she final told you she never wanted you and that you were a Lima loser. It was her when you broke down in my arms crying one night begging me to make the pain go away because she was your first love and you would never get over her no matter how badly you wanted to. She was the birth mother to your little girl.

She gave birth to this little miracle that was and always would be a part of you. No matter what bad things you did in your life Beth would be the one bright good thing you did and SHE helped you create that miracle. I never had a chance did I? I was just the stupid naïve gay boy who has always stood by you and given you the benefit of the doubt even when you did terrible things to me. You made my life hell for fifteen years before you supposedly saw the error of your ways and realized how great a person I was. We started to build this tentative friendship over lost loves and misconceptions about who people thought we were. I literally stood by your side in defense of you when the Babygate fall out came to a head and then again when you kissed Rachel. I'm the only other person in the world who knows just how crushed you were when things with Mercedes ended and then again when Lauren crushed your heart. I was there when Jonah showed back up on your mothers doorstep after sixteen years our freshman year of college begging your mother for another chance. Does SHE even know who Jonah is or how scared and angry and helpless you felt when he showed back up and your mother let him come into that house?

I was the one on the other end of the phone all of Christmas vacation that year because you were terrified to fall asleep with that man in your house. I am the one who spent all of my summer vacation on your bedroom floor at home wrapped around you and Sarah because 'He can't hurt me and Sarah with you here. Nothing can go wrong with you here.' I was the one who held you and soothed you the night Jonah took things way too far and you spent weeks with me by your side while you healed in the hospital and Sarah lived with my parents because I will be damned if someone lays a finger on my Sarah." I was at your side the night Jonah took your mother from us and the night you laid her to rest next to Nana and PopPop Puckerman. Where has Quinn been? Does she even know that any of these things happened to you and I? Does she care? Has she even asked about Beth? Does she miss her? Want to see her? Is she willing to drop her life with Sam and their kids to be a family with you and Beth? Did you even know she married Sam and that they have two daughters together?" Kurt saw the small flicker of pain and sadness at the mention of the two daughters Quinn thought were worth keeping fathered by the man she thought was worth keeping and a small part of his heart deep inside below all the hurt and anger ached for his lover. With that all the hate and anger seeped out of Kurt and all that was left was the sadness. Seeing this silent transformation take place in Kurt's ice blue eyes scared Noah more than the anger that had been directed at him. This new look directed at Noah was one of sadness, realization and resignation and Noah was terrified. Kurt gazed back at the man who once held his heart and finally let the tears fall as he wrapped his arms around his torso.

"I should have known to never trust a word you said. You have always been the type of boy to say whatever you had to in order to get what you wanted. Like a naïve fool I believed you when you confessed your love to me. I gave you a chance against my better judgment to show me you weren't the stupid homophobic man whore jock that the town and school saw you as and praised you for being. You made me fall in love with you and build my life to include you and Beth. I can't even hate you for it. I knew from the moment you started to bare your soul to me that I would regret letting you in one day. I knew you would let me down and disappoint me. I just never thought it would be this soon or feel this painful. I knew the moment you said you loved me that you didn't really mean it and that I was just a place to rest until what or rather who you wanted came around and to be honest I was willing to be ok with that because I loved you and I thought that maybe I would be able to change your mind and convince you that what we had together was worth sticking around for. Clearly I was naïve and stupid to think that I, the "resident fairy", could ever change the reputation of and hope to be loved by "McKinley's Badass". I need you to know that I always loved you. I know everyone thought it was Finn but God I loved you. Hell I still love you even when you so clearly don't feel the same way anymore. For all I know you never really felt the same and I was just some experiment or cruel trick that got out of hand. Anyway I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving and when you get home I won't be there. Don't come after me, don't call, text, or come looking for me. I will come back in the morning to get my things and let Beth know that I am leaving because I just can't do it anymore. Don't worry I'll take the blame, Beth loves her daddy and I would never, no matter how hurt I might be, do anything to tarnish her image of you. No matter how things ended between us I know you love your daughter more than anything. I have to go now…I just can't stay here anymore. With that Kurt turned his back on the only man he had ever loved and the family they had and walked out of the club without a look back.

If Kurt had looked back he would have seen a broken man falling to his knees. Noah Puckerman had always been a gentle soul growing up. That was until his daddy walked out on them and Noah had to

run to his mother crying because, 'If daddy goes away who will play with me at night?' Norah asked her son what he meant and what came out of her son's mouth was a story that she refused to believe. Young Noah told his mother all about how daddy would come in his room at night and they would have tickle fights.