THE RULING FOUNDATION
Their relationship was like an intricate game of pretend, except Light couldn't be too sure what L expected the truth to be. Light refused to ponder what the truth was; being a creature of complete dedication, this disconcerted him greatly. Light never involved himself with things that didn't occupy him completely or that he didn't believe in intensely. As such, knowing the truth completely was of utmost importance to him. Even if it hurt. But with L, he couldn't find it in him to search for the truth, to follow his suspicions, to move towards that conclusion and to verify it for his own peace. An illogical fear kept him from thinking of L and of how everything was so unpredictable around the man, and Light hated the illogical.
Everything was different with L. Nothing was as he knew it to be and Light loved every forbidden moment of it. Or loved it when he allowed himself to think it honestly. Denial turned the excitement into anxiety and annoyance, but at night, when they were alone with only the glare of computer lights or the rare times Light was allowed to sleep comfortably, he'd stare at L and he'd know.
Kira never had anything against him.
And, as things are around L, Light wasn't sure why the thought of L being more than Kira filled him with a rush of pride, of fear, of such complete intensity that it choked him. The knowledge that it was L doing this:
Pure joy.
Their relationship was like a chess game, except L wasn't so sure what the rules really were. L refused to ponder on the rules of their game; being a creature of unshakable foundations, this aggravated him greatly. L never broke the rules of logic as laid down by philosophers of the old times, and he never valued emotions and passions before reason. As such, finding the rules was of utmost importance to him. Even if it hurt. But with Light, he couldn't find it in him to know the rules, to beat the game, to end the mad competition they were trapped it and put his mind to rest. An illogical joy kept him from not thinking of Light and of how everything was so intense around the man, and L hated the extremes.
Everything was the same with Light. There was no need to dumb down or deal with incompetence and L enjoyed every available moment of it. Or enjoyed it when he wasn't clouded with the need to dominate the petulant child. Anger turned the joy into something intense and consuming, but at night, when they were alone with only the glare of the computer or the rare times he could break the mold of his character and let the man sleep, he'd stare at Light and he'd feel.
If this was Kira, then let the world burn for their sins.
And, as things are around Light, L wasn't sure why the thought of Light ruling this world filled him with a rush of anticipation, of joy, of such complete intensity that it choked him. The emotions evoked by Light boiled down to:
Fear.