Liz had not yet fully digested the Hank Hooper's…announcement. She sat at her desk for a good hour, totally paralyzed. She got up once to pour herself a glass of soda, but after swallowing it in one gulp, she realized she needed something stronger. She hated the whiskey Jack kept up in his office, but she was sure Jenna would have a bottle of vodka in her dressing room. When Liz reached Jenna's dressing room she saw that Jenna was in the middle of doing a fake interview in the mirror. When she saw Liz, she turned toward her. "What is it, Liz? I'm very busy."
Liz tried to speak but she burst into tears. Jenna came to take her in her arms and made her sit on her couch. Between sobs Liz managed to articulate a complete sentence. "They cancelled the show… Friday will be the last TGS ever!"
Jenna did not seem surprised. Liz thought she should have had a Plan B, or she was stupid enough to not realize what she had said. Jenna held Liz in her arms, trying to calm her down. "I need something strong, vodka or something, anything!" Liz cried, and a big smile appeared on Jenna's face. "I know what you need."
Jenna stood up, grabbed her jacket and pulled Liz out of the dressing room. When they passed Pete, he said, "Liz, we need you in the Writer's room." Before Liz could say anything, Jenna chirped, "Liz isn't available until tomorrow morning! Pete was about to reply but Jenna raised her hand for silence. "The star has spoken." Liz shrugged her shoulders, still being dragged along by Jenna towards the elevators.
Liz had not the slightest idea where Jenna was taking her, and maybe if she had known earlier, she would have refused. Undoubtedly it would be a huge mistake, Liz thought. When it came to having fun, Jenna knew the right people. They hit one of the hottest clubs in the city without any concern, and they were even invited to sit in the VIP room. Liz couldn't even remember the last time she had set foot in such a place, and she thanked Jenna for lending her one of her more "sober" dresses to go out that night. As the rhythm of the music picked up, glasses piled up on the table. Liz let herself go on the dance floor. Her head was spinning, but at least she forgot TGS. She wiggled on the dance floor, and Jenna danced with her. A group of amateurs formed a circle around them, applauding their performance and cheering them on to continue. The music became stronger, the dance became hotter. Suddenly one observer shouted, "Kiss!" and a dozen other voices suddenly joined in. Jenna looked at Liz, who just shrugged, and helped by the indecent content of alcohol in her blood, it was her who initiated the kiss.
When they separated, servers brought them more bottles, and Liz drank half a bottle at once - she was thirsty after dancing non-stop for over two hours.
Liz was certain that this was the first time in her life she drank so much alcohol, but she didn't care. She felt that alcohol would help to forget everything. Her hair fell over her shoulders forming sexy loops, slightly wet with sweat. A few men had made advances, but her ring reminded her that she was married and therefore unavailable (which did not prevent the rodeo on a stripper, twice).
The next morning was difficult. Liz was awakened by the ringing of her cell phone. She grabbed for it without opening her eyes, and said huskily, "Lemon."
"Liz, where are you? It's after ten, we're all waiting for you here." Pete's voice echoed in her head, triggering intense pain with each syllable. "Yes, I'm coming… I'm coming." She hung up on Pete's screams. Her head felt heavy as a watermelon, and she was very hungry. When she opened her eyes, the room was plunged into semi-darkness - she did not immediately known where she was, but then remembered that she had crashed at Jenna's, too drunk to be able to go home. She got herself up from the bed that she and Jenna had shared since Paul had been at work, and walked out. As she closed the door, she felt a presence behind her and jumped; it was Paul.
"So, you have a lot of fun last night?" He was only a few inches from her face, which made her very uncomfortable, so she drew back but the door blocked her. He approached her and kissed her passionately on the mouth, his tongue running in and out of her mouth. She pushed him away with a sharp blow, and wiped her mouth, disgusted. "Erk Paul, why?"
He looked at her strangely and then a gleam lit up his face, "That's the new thing that you wanted to try? J'adore …"
Liz looked both frightened and confused. "What do you mean?" As he approached her, she pushed him away again. "No thank you, please!" She managed to slip underneath him and ran into the hallway to escape. She reached the bathroom and locked herself inside. Paul tried to open the door. "Jenna, you really need to explain this to me. I don't understand!"
Jenna? Suddenly Liz looked into the mirror and was shocked by her reflection. In disbelief, she slowly moved closer to see if it was real. She uttered a cry of terror.
Her hair was blonde, her eyes were green and her teeth were so white - she couldn't believe it, she wasn't even sure she was herself. "Is this a trick?" She whispered. Paul, from the other side of the door, asked, "What are you talking about?" Liz blinked several times hoping that her own reflection would appear but it was still Jenna's face that she saw. "Okay, this has got to be a dream, I'm having a dream, obviously!" She pinched herself on the forearm but other than feeling slight pain and getting a red mark, nothing happened.
"Oh my God… Oh my GOD!" She turned to the door and spoke loud enough so that Paul could capture everything she said. "I'll come out now, Paul, and I do not want you to touch me in any way, okay?" She thought for a minute and added, "And this is not some kind of weird code for you to do the opposite, I mean it!"
Paul moved away from the door as Liz opened it slowly. She watched him carefully, expecting him to jump on her at any moment.
"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked.
"I'm not quite sure actually, I have to wake up Jen … I mean, Liz, first." She made her way to the master bedroom, trying to think of different ways to get Jenna up without her having a heart attack.
As she entered the room she noticed her own body lying on the floor on top of a pile of blankets. It was really weird to see herself like that. Her curiosity piqued, she couldn't help but make some mental notes. She was much thinner than she saw herself, and although her makeup was a mess, she found that her face was rather balanced. Jenna gave a big roar and tossed onto her side, letting a boob on Liz's body fall out of her blouse.
"Okay, enough!" Liz shook her body vigorously. "Jenna! Jenna!" Jenna opened her eyes and saw herself trying to wake her up.
"Wow! Am I still dreaming? That's amazing, a double of me! I've always been told I should explore myself more."
Before Liz could say anything, Jenna took Liz's face and kissed her. Liz pulled back, a disgusted look on her face. "Come on, seriously?"
Jenna seemed confused. "Whoa, this can't be a dream…I don't talk like that," She stood up and looked at her legs, then her hands, and took hold of her hair, crying out: "WHAT IS THIS!? OH MY GOD, I'M FILTHY!" Liz rolled her eyes. "Yeah well, you're me, so…"
Jenna stopped crying and looked at her double. "Liz?"
"Yes …" Liz saw her own grimacing at her and tears rolled down her cheeks. "I've never done this before, is it an actress trick?"
Jenna looked at her and immediately stopped crying. "I only can pretend to have tears since I had my tear glands removed to make my eyes less bright."
"Well, I still have my lachrymal glands, so I beg you not to feign tears on my face, thank you!"
"What are we gonna do?"
Liz felt as though she were looking at her reflection, though it did not move with her. "I don't know." She sighed and her eyes rested on her phone. "In any case, we have to go work. You're going to be me and I'm going to be you."
They dressed on their own and when they met at the front door, showed each other what they were wearing.
"What is that?" Jenna asked, dismayed.
"What?"
Jenna looked at Liz. "I do not wear glasses, and especially not with a ponytail and a shirt … is that Paul's?"
"These were the only decent clothes I could find!" Liz came closer to Jenna. "What did you put on my face, a whole bucket of paint?"
"It's makeup Liz, and it suits you very well!" Jenna insisted. "It hides your skin pores!"
Liz rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on!"
"Don't ever do that again, it makes me look terrible!" said Jenna.
Liz grinned. "What? This?" She rolled her eyes again.
"Oh, so that's how you want to do this? Fine!" Jenna pulled on her top and pushed up Liz's boobs. "There!"
Liz looked at her breast, horrified. "Oh my god, I look like a prostitute! Come on, push them back into your top!"
"No, I won't until you promise me you won't do this 'thing' again!" Liz watched herself, all dressed up, looking very upset with her. She sighed. This was going to be a long, long day.
When they arrived at the large NBC building Liz took a deep breath. The whole way there, people had stopped with envy - both women and men for that matter. She tried to hide herself behind her big t-shirt, but her blonde hair was moving away from the ponytail she had made, and it was as if with every movement she made she exuded an aura that attracted attention, and she hated it. On the contrary, Jenna was pleased to have some attention, even if it was not that much compared to her habits.
Liz had completely removed her ponytail when they boarded the elevator. "Remember what I told you. Now you have to work with me on a sketch. That is why I have to stay in your office." But when they reached the sixth floor, nothing happened as planned.
Jack pulled Jenna to the side to talk about Hank Hooper, while Liz was led by Tracy into Jenna's dressing room.
Jenna listened to Jack talking, understanding only half of what he said. She sat with perfect poise on one arm of the couch in her office. Jack suddenly stopped talking and looked carefully Jenna from head to toe. "Lemon, is there something I should know?"
Jenna stood up and moved closer to him, grabbed his tie and tugged on it lightly. "When you talk about things I don't understand, it really excites me…"
"Lemon, are you okay?"
"Oh, yes, Jack I have never been better…" She pulled at once on his tie and kissed him, and swung one of her legs around him. That's when Liz walked in.
"Evil Twin!" She separated them, shouting at Jenna. "LIZ, how can you do that? You're married!" She looked at her judgmentally.
"I don't know what came over me, it was just this strong feeling…"
Liz sighed. "I forgot, my hormones…" She looked at Jack. "YOUR body is full of them right now!" Liz grabbed Jenna's arm and took her out of the room. The writers observed, shocked by this unusual turn of events. Pete approached Jenna. "Liz, we have two new sketch ideas."
Jenna looked him, not knowing what to say, so Liz spoke. "I'm on it, I have some good ideas for a sketch with me and Tracy…and Liz told me that she'll help to write it, right Liz?"
Jenna nodded. Liz pushed Jenna toward the exit, and shouted over her shoulder, "I will be in Jenna's dressing room if you're looking for me!"
Frank turned toward Pete. "Was she just speaking in third person?" Pete shrugged.
Liz pushed Jenna into her dressing room. "You're going to stay here until I find a way to switch back!" She turned and closed the door behind her and readjusted her glasses.
Kenneth walked towards her. "Ms. Maroney, do you want a bowl of hot water for you meal as usual?"
Liz looked at him incredulously. "What? This is ridiculous! No. I'll take a ham and cheese sandwich with sauce instead of salad, and a caramel cookie." Kenneth was surprised by her answer but a quick smile appeared on his lips. "I'm really glad you decided to resume normal dietary habits!"
"Yeah, yeah, Kenneth … Tell me, you know where Tracy is?"
" Mr. Jordan told me that he would return this afternoon if his goldfish revealed where he hid the keys to his safe!"
"He doesn't have a code?"
The Kenneth's face lit up. "That's why he couldn't find them anywhere!" Liz rolled her eyes. "Hopefully Mr. Jordan won't torture poor Nemo before it's served as an appetizer to his new piranha. It would be a shame to damage it."
Liz frowned in disgust. "Yes… I've got to go see the writers Kenneth, can you watch this door for me? I do not want anybody leaving this room."
"Of course, Ms. Maroney! I'll watch it like it was my own ring." Liz looked at him, she shook her head and walked to the writer's room.
The writers were all impressed with "Jenna's" sketch ideas. Liz herself used her Jenna body to her advantage to hold everyone's attention. She played with her hair repeatedly to get the writers to notice her, and it was the first time she'd actually been able to get Cerie's help. When she returned to Jenna's dressing room, Kenneth was still in front of it, standing like a soldier.
"Everything good, Kenneth?"
"Yes, Ms. Maroney, nobody left!"
Liz walked toward the door, but Kenneth stopped her. "I would wait if I were you. The person who came in to torture Ms. Lemon has been in there for a little while now. The shouting hasn't stopped!"
Jenna's face froze. "What?"
Without waiting for a reply from Kenneth, Liz barged into the room and saw that Criss was on her body. It was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen in her life. She pushed Criss, who tried desperately to put his pants on before leaving the dressing room.
Liz turned on Jenna. "How could you do that with my body!? It's disgusting!"
"Hormones!"
"Erk!" Liz stormed out of the dressing room and hit Jack.
"What on earth -"
"She slept with Criss, Jack!"
Jack looked at Jenna Liz getting dressed, then he turned to Liz Jenna. "And that's your problem because…?" Liz looked him straight in the eye. "Are you kidding me!?"
"They're married Jenna!" Jack reminded her, and Liz realized she'd forgotten that she still inhabited Jenna's body.
She was Jenna. Very well, she would act like Jenna. She removed a gun from her pocket - when did that get there? she thought - She pointed it at Kenneth and shouted, " I will kill you! I will kill you!"
"Jenna, no!" Jack jumped on her, the shot was fired and touched Tracy who was standing in the hallway. "I'm bleeding! Vador, I will be able to feed you now!" He fainted and the piranha jumped out of its bag to eat the blood that was spilling from Tracy's chest.
Liz woke up. She was in Jenna's bedroom. Her phone rang, she grabbed around for it and picked up. "Yes?"
"Liz? Where are you? It's after ten, we're all waiting for you!" Pete said on the other end.
"Oh yeah, I forgot - I'm with Jenna, I'll be there as soon as possible."
"Hurry up."
She stood up and switched on the light, relieved to find Jenna asleep on her bed. She sighed. "Just a dream, that was just a dream…"
"Criss, I always knew there was something between us…" Jenna inched closer to Criss. She didn't particularly like being in Liz's body, but at least she could have sex with Criss. She put a finger to her mouth and slowly pulled it down her lip. "Yeah, you like that?" Suddenly she stopped, her finger on her breast, and looked at her boobs. "Oh, come on Liz, a sock for a bra?"
END