You said it in a simple way,
4am, the second day,
How strange that I don't know you at all.
Stumbled through the long goodbye,
One last kiss, then catch your flight,
Right when I was just about to fall
I knew that Bing was gone. And I couldn't help but dream about the goodbye I might have had, and the confusion I might have been spared if he had just explained, or at least wrote a note, e-mail, left a message, or anything. Was I just not worth it? Could he not see how much he meant to me? Why did I have to just dream of him being rational?
I told myself don't get attached,
but in my mind I play it back,
Spinning faster than the plane that took you...
"This is why relationships don't work for me. And the only time my dream man comes around, the only guy I could REALLY see a future with, he leaves without a thought."
I looked down at scrapbook she held in her hands. In it, were pressed flowers from the bouquet Bing had sent me once. Each delicate flower was too painful for me too look at, but I couldn't keep my eyes away. I looked out my window and wondered at each passing plane. Was there something I did or said? A tear falls on the book and I quickly wipe it off. I shove it back into my desk and decide to distract myself and my heart. I gather all the materials I need to make a shadow box, one of my favorite crafts. What to sew, what to sew…
The delicate beginning rush,
The feeling you can know so much,
Without knowing anything at all.
And now that I can put this down,
If I had known what I'd known now,
I never would have played so nonchalance.
I sighed and wished I had followed Charlotte's advice.
"I was just too caught up. I got lost in those eyes. Those beautiful, sweet green ey… STOP IT JANE!"
But why? Why did he go? What did I do? Why won't he tell me? Why hasn't he said anything?!
Taxi cabs and busy streets,
That never bring you back to me,
I can't help but wish you took me with you...
L.A. seems so much more far away than it seemed before all this drama. Before Bing. What would it have been like if Bing never came? What if Bing never left? What if Bing took me along, or at least told me he was going? I might now if he was coming back, because I might have been his reason for returning.
I don't wanna miss you like this.
Come back... be here.
Come back... be here.