Disclaimer: I do not own the original canon nor am I making any profit from writing this piece. All works are accredited to their original authors, performers, and producers while this piece is mine. No copyright infringement is intended. I acknowledge that all views and opinions expressed herein are merely my interpretations of the characters and situations found within the original canon and may not reflect the views and opinions of the original author(s), producer(s), and/or other people.

Warnings: This story may contain material that is not suitable for all audiences and may offend some readers. This particular story references child abuse, underage sex, and non-consensual drug use. There are a few verbal indications of very unhealthy thoughts about things, which may be triggering to people with similar issues. Please utilize understanding of personal sensitivities before and while reading.

Author's Note(s): Once again, this is not meant to be a ship tease or bait. Tony and Rhodey have a relationship which defies definition and the only label they can both can (and have chosen to) put on it is vital.

Challenge/Competition Block:
Fill Number: 01
Representation(s): Asexual Character; Friendship without Boundaries
Bonus Challenge(s): Unicorn (Asexuality); Brooms Only; Lock & Key; Second Verse (Wabi Sabi – Autism); Second Verse (Tomorrow's Shade)
Word Count: 3713 (Story Only); 3730 (Story & Epigraph)

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Song of Circe
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"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself."
– Jim Morrison
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James had noticed it in their first meeting, when Tony had just tossed out an offer for sex, for kinky sex at that, like it didn't matter. There had been no heat in the offer, no sign of actual want even if James had seen that there was some sort of longing. It had bothered him that Tony would make a proposition when it was clearly not what he wanted. James had chocked it up to the fact that Tony was so young, just a kid and a scrawny one at that. It hadn't taken James long to realize that Tony was willing to substitute just about any kind of physical contact for whatever sexual act he was suggesting, but it was only after several months of consistent observation that James realized, at least a little, what had been nagging him.

Tony never discriminated in who he gave sexual offers, at least on race or gender. He didn't suffer fools or braggarts for long. James watched him flirt with just about everyone, just as natural as breathing. Like a moth to a flame, Tony tended to drift towards people who had a certain presence, a way of projecting authority even if he did stay away from anyone with actual authority. He was usually quick to flit away from the ones without a solid foundation for that arrogance. Like a hummingbird, Tony also liked the pretty ones. Even James with his unwavering attraction to women could admit that about the men.

Yet something about Tony's wide and varied one-night stands continued to nag at James, beyond the fact that Tony was only a kid.

That excuse wore thin as Tony's sixteenth birthday came and went.

Unsurprisingly, it was comparing Joey's lame ass attempts at seduction to Tony's that finally gave James the final pieces that he had needed to start asking the right questions. Tony didn't just not discriminate; he didn't seem to care at all. As far as James could tell, it looked like both people and acts were interchangeable. He hesitated to label Tony as bisexual, despite the way Tony was fine with either men or women, but he didn't know how else to describe it. Maybe James shouldn't have asked Jenny, but honestly, he had thought she would be his safest bet, given her activism and focused studies. He had been right that she knew more about deviations on sexual orientations than he did, but the amount of eye-rolling and sass when he had asked if there was anything other than gay or bisexual was just mean.

This wasn't rocket science, after all.

How was he supposed to know anything about it?

Little sisters were just evil.

It still took some time before James to get the courage to say anything to Tony, because the kid could be skittish about anything that even hinted he wasn't the son that a man like Howard Stark wanted. James had a slowly worsening opinion on the man, especially where Tony was concerned, but even he had to admit that Howard tried hard to be a decent person. It was just that his fucking ego had the yardstick for that all screwed up. Tony's weird-ass way of connecting things just made it all worse, taking even little things to the extreme like he always did. More than once, James had been forced to physically haul him out of the lab after a phone call (or worse, a visit) from Howard about a design project of vital importance, which meant that the kid ignored everything else until it was done.

Because in Tony's mind, the last time he didn't get a project completed in time, Jarvis had paid the cost.

James just knew that what he was going to suggest would be taken the worst way possible. So, of course, he had ended up just blurting it out one night, without having any plan whatsoever, while they had been cuddling on Tony's ugly red couch watching the stupid infomercials that Tony loved to mock. They were in their usual position, with Tony laying between James' legs as they were both stretched out on the couch. Tony had instantly tensed up, freezing like he was waiting for some clue which direction the conversation was headed. James hated that reaction, hated having invoked any response Tony learned from dealing with Howard. He tightened his arm around Tony to prevent the kid from trying to disappear into some hidey hole. Damn koala-cat might disappear entirely if he was spooked enough.

"What kind of question is that, honeybear?" Tony asked. James could only hear the nervous tremble in the deflection because of how well he knew Tony. The tremble was in Tony's muscles, too, and James rubbed the kid's side out of habit. At least, Tony hadn't tried to retreat yet. His head still rested on James' chest; he still had a handful of James' shirt in his fist. "Of course, I like sex. Why else would I have it? Is this the age thing again, platypus? Because I checked and sticking with the undergrads or other prodigies meant no one committed any crimes, so you can rest your pretty head. Besides, you know that Mom and Dad don't give a shit what I do up here as long as I don't bother them or cause a scandal. So, who's gonna press charges anyway? Or is your zoomie sensibilities bothering you? 'Cause I can focus on the ladies for a while, if that will make you more comfortable."

"Yeah, okay, that's a good example of why I'm asking, Tones," James said, ignoring most of the word vomit coming out of Tony's mouth. The kid had a way of babbling when he was especially nervous, of just saying a lot of things with only a few hints of anything meaningful. Silence for too long made him twitchy. James pressed a kiss to Tony's temple, before bringing up his free hand to run through his hair. "What matters to you about your partners? 'Cause I'm hearing their ages or personalities. Even my comfort level with them matters more than anything else. So, yeah, I want to know if you like having sex with the people you do or if you just like the sex."

"You won't think I'm weird?"

"I already know that you are," James retorted before fully thinking about it. Tony's hand jerked on his shirt. Shit. He had to salvage that before he was facing the idiot's koala-side. "Besides if I can handle walking in on you with Tina Hiyuki and her boyfriend, then I can pretty much guarantee there isn't a fucking thing that you can tell me that's gonna scare me away."

"What do you have against Tina and Robert? Also was that a pun? Because that would be a crime against comedy, sugarplum. Seriously, stop the presses. That's horrible and I'm so telling Jenny about your terrible, horrible sin against language, so you can be properly mocked."

James would be more worried about the threat if Tony wasn't pressing into his stroking hand like a cat demanding more pets. He made sure to add a bit of nail to the strokes through Tony's hair, drawing a close cousin to a purr from the guy. He couldn't be too far off the mark, though, or Tony wouldn't be deflecting so much. A coil of the worry that had been plaguing him loosened for the first time since he had met Tony. He could handle this, because the alternative was potentially losing Tony.

"Other than the whole 'let the Wookie win' vibe that Hiyuki has? Seriously, that woman is scarier than my old hand-to-hand instructor and I would sooner shout at Peggy Carter again than cross Underwood."

"I'm gonna start telling everyone that we got hookers that spring break," Tony declared, "because you are way too proud about shouting at my godmother and not getting shot."

"Maybe I'm just as weird as you are," James whispered. He rested his hand against the nape of Tony's neck. It took less than a minute for the grip to melt Tony into a relaxed puddle atop of him, just like the hold always did. Only then did James dare to continue. "It doesn't matter to me, Tones. You know what does matter? That you're safe, in all ways including emotionally."

"Feelings are gross." The words were habit, more Tony following the usual script than actually feeling the sentiment. James recognized it for the delaying tactic it was. He slipped the hand stroking Tony's side under his shirt to just rest against his skin. Tony continued in a tone almost too quiet for James to hear, even as close as they were pressed. "I like this. Sex is fun, usually, and some of it more than other bits, but it's just the price, you know, the way to get this without being too much of a bother. 'Cause you, you aren't wrong, platypus. About the people not really mattering, that is. Most of them don't stick around long enough to, really, which is fine, you know. Everyone leaves eventually."

Something cold and hard filled James' stomach. He had always been worried about the way Tony partied, from that first night when he had stumbled across the fourteen-year-old drunk in that frat's bathroom. The thought of Tony's flippant offer of kinky sex had downright scared the fuck out of him occasionally. So many things could go wrong in just regular sex, that the idea of doing anything kinky while drunk and without any kind of discussion made James more than a mite twitchy. It had bothered him to the point where he had been compelled to chase off more than a few of Tony's would-be lovers before things went further than second base. James had figured out almost immediately that Tony's innuendos and propositions to him personally were actually requests for physical comfort, but what Tony had just said… that suggested that all his offers were. There was so much wrong with what Tony had just said that he didn't know where to start. Unable to think, James pulled out the mindset he used while solving problems on the fly, like in the middle of a battle stimulation or extracting Tony from whatever trouble he had found.

"Tones," James said. Tony rubbed his cheek against his chest in lieu of a verbal response. James pressed the tip of his index finger into the dip behind Tony's ear, pulling a subvocal sound from him. "You know you aren't a bother, right? Like, not at fucking all. You never have to do a single thing to—to earn a hug, or a snuggle, or just anything. That's not something you need to do, man. Not with me. You don't have to ask even. Just gimme half an indication and I'm there. You aren't going to wear out your welcome or annoy me or chase me away or any other stupid ass idea that's running through your genius-brain under that ridiculously fluffy hair of yours."

"You're makin' fun of me," Tony grumbled, fighting against the looseness of his own limbs. He made a few attempts to sit up, each one stronger than the one before it. James tightened his grip momentarily before letting go when Tony continued to push against the holds. The teen didn't try to leave his spot between James' legs, staying half-resting against him. Between that position and how Tony's hands were still holding onto James' shirt, he wasn't worried about the kid running off to hide in his lab or something. For lack of another place for them, James settled his hands on the curve of Tony's hips, anchoring him to the spot.

Tony glared down at him, barely hiding the fact that he was searching his face. James startled when he realized that Tony had finally settled on making real eye contact rather than just the staring at the bridge of the nose thing that he usually did. Tony's brow crinkled in visible confusion as he tilted his head to one side. It made him look like a lost puppy.

"You're not making fun of me," Tony said carefully, like he didn't understand the words he was saying. His gaze moved to James' lips, his default spot to watch for emotional tells. Used to Tony's quirky habits, James resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at the teen genius. It might have been what he would have normally done, but under the circumstances, the teasing gesture was more likely to Tony freak. "But why wouldn't you? I just said something really stupid and childish? Are you okay, sugarplum? You didn't eat the brownies in the fridge, did you? You did!"

"I didn't even look in your damn biohazard of a fridge," James replied, unable to hold back the grin that matched his words. "Do I even wanna know what's possibly in those brownies? 'Cause it's as likely to be weed as something you and Dummy cooked up together in the lab. You know what? I don't think I want to know. Don't tell me."

"But if you aren't hyped up on something," Tony asked, his confused look growing, "then why are we talking about this? You don't start discussions about sex unless you're drunk or on something. You don't. It's one of your rules. You said it was weird. So why?"

"First off, I would like to reiterate that spiking food with things you cooked up in a lab is wildly irresponsible, even if one of your majors is in the chem field." James paused. "Actually, that makes it worse, because you're specifically studying how best to kill people with them. My point is that I'm totally not responsible for any of the weird-ass things I said after eating that cupcake."

"Okay, but I think Gloria Gaynor will be really disappointed to hear that," Tony said. He had his innocent expression on, but James wasn't the least bit fooled. It still didn't make him think before opening his mouth.

"Somehow, I think she will survive, which is more than what can be said about your dignity if I tell Mama about you adding designer drugs to baked goods. Don't think that being her favorite son will get you out of trouble for that." James rubbed his thumbs over the hem of Tony's jeans. There had been a time when such an intimate gesture would have had him questioning everything about it, but the last two years had taught him that Tony was just important to him and it didn't matter what labels got used, because they wouldn't change that even one iota.

"Look, I'm just gonna say it, okay? I don't care who you fuck as long as both you and them are feeling into it and you're doing it as safely as possible. 'Cause that's the important thing to me: that you are safe. Which is why I'm bringing this up at all, Tones. I've been getting the vibe that you aren't feeling into some of it, and enough of the time that I'm worried. Apparently, with good reason, because what you said, man? That's not how it's supposed to work. Sex shouldn't be fun usually. Even when it's not the greatest, it should at least be fun, you know?"

Tony nodded before shaking his head like he was trying to clear it. James gave him the time to process what he was saying. He already knew that this was something he would probably need to repeat more than a few times. That was fine. He could add it to the rotation right under punching Steve Rogers and you deserve to feel loved. It was actually kind of nice to have found a message that Tony had learned that couldn't be tied back to Howard's arrogant ass, even if James didn't know who else might be to blame. Out of habit, James slipped his fingers to the skin right above the seat of Tony's jeans and started idly tapping out the Fibonacci series.

"I was talking to Jenny a while back," James ventured after a few moments of Tony just kneeling between his legs thinking. Tony blinked a few times, slow to focus like he usually was when he had gotten lost in his thoughts. "It involved a lot of eye rolling and uncalled for sarcasm, so I hope you appreciate the labor of love I endured to get you this information. There's this thing. It's called asexuality. It's when someone doesn't feel sexual attraction."

"Like, not at all?"

Tony's voice was smaller than James had ever heard it. The kid made a habit of trying to emulate Howard's showman persona, especially when he was covering for feelings unbecoming of a Stark. It made the moments when the mask cracked seem horrifically wrong by comparison. Even during the fallout of Jarvis' final hospitalization, Tony hadn't been this hesitant about things. The cold thing in James' stomach twisted like it was alive when Tony's fingers began to clench and unclench in sync with James' tapping.

"Not even a little bit," James answered, matching Tony's volume. "It doesn't necessary stop them from having sex or enjoying it. They might even want the sex itself sometimes, like a craving, but that initial feeling of attraction for an individual or how someone looks? It's not there."

"So they're broken?"

"Not even a little bit," James repeated. It was a struggle to keep his tone even and not give into the urge to snarl. That was Howard speaking, and James knew it. The man had always poked at every single one of Tony's shortcomings in every interaction that James had witnessed, and knowing how far back Peggy's championing of Steve Rogers' greatness went, James would lay even odds that Howard's poking went back just as far. Tony didn't need James' anger, however justified, at that moment. James could hold it together, for Tony's sake. "They've just got a different version of normal. Asexuals are no more broken than a dumbass koala-cat who can't be bothered to clean out his damn fridge until his leftovers crawl out on their own."

"I'm not that bad," Tony protested. James raised an eyebrow at him in silent challenge. "Nothing from my fridge has ever come alive."

He upgraded the eyebrow to a full Look. The outer edge of Tony's cheekbones pinked in the way that they did whenever he was trying to suppress a blush. They both know that the tofu for that damn rabbit that wrecked the campus cafeteria came from Tony. There wasn't any way that the school officials could prove it, but they both knew. James might not know how Tony had managed it, but Tony did the impossible all the fucking time for less provocation than proving a point.

"That fits," Tony burst out, before promptly paling as his breathing went jagged. His fingers settled on clenching James' shirt even as he jerked the rest of his body backwards in a physical backpedaling. James didn't need more than a second to realize that Tony's habit of rapidly changing topics when one becomes uncomfortable had just caused him to admit that James had been right about the asexuality thing. Unfortunately, the realization came with the recognition that Tony was close to panicking over admitting that.

Acting on instinct because even his battle mindset would think too slow, James moved one of his hands from Tony's waist to gather both his wrists in its grip. Their positioning made James' wrist press Tony's knuckles against his stomach, forcing them to stay still instead of jerking on his shirt. Tony's entire body shuddered in response to the hold, but the raggedness of his breathing immediately evened out.

"Hey, Tones," he called. Tony flinched at the words, but it was towards him, so James was going to count it as a win. He repeated the soft call a few times. Each time, Tony responded by jerking closer. "That's it, koala-cat. I've got you. Just ignore whatever bullshit that big brain of yours is tellin' ya. I've got ya and we're good."

Eventually, James managed to get Tony laying over him again, even if it wasn't in the relaxed sprawl he had been in at the start of their conversation. Well, that was something he could take care of easily. Getting the genius to relax after he had managed to get himself stressed into a mess was something James had figured out within weeks of finding the kid in that goddamn bathroom.

Careful to keep a firm grip on Tony's wrists, James buried his other hand in Tony's hair. He resumed carding his fingers through the strands, alternating between light scratches and gentle tugs. Each pass made Tony slowly return to that edge between awake and asleep. The only tension in his body seemed to be in his fingers which was still clenching James' shirt.

"Just let go, Tony," James murmured. He pressed a kiss to Tony's head. "I've got you. This isn't going to send me running. If watching you coo recipes for various poisons to your bathroom-born offspring didn't do it, this certainly isn't gonna. What did I say matters, man?"

"That 'm safe," Tony muttered, parts of the words mushed together. When James gave the next tug, he held it instead of immediately releasing it. Tony's weight settled heavier atop him. "M' R'odey."

"That's right, Tones," James agreed as Tony's breath eased into his sleeping pattern. They would need to talk more at some point. It was definitely going to affect things, if only by making Tony freak out occasionally. It might even make Tony take James' pending deployment even worse, especially if he really was only bedhopping to get physical affection. Not for the first time since meeting Tony, he contemplated finding some way of simultaneously telling the Air Force to stuff it and not becoming yet another person willing to take advantage of Tony's generosity.

Tony rubbed his cheek against James' chest, interrupting his thoughts. Then he breathed in deeply before letting it out as a sigh. The contentment in the sound made the last lingering traces of that cold hardness in James' gut melt.

They'll figure it out. It was what they did.

Together.

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An Ending
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