A/N: I don't normally read blogs, but, when I do, it's Princess Molestia. And Lil' Miss Rarity, before it was cancelled. So, anywho, I was searching the My Little Pony archives, seeing if their was any "K - T" fanfiction I wanted to read (as always, there wasn't). So I went to the "M" and found this gem. Oh, and before I forget, this is parodied without permission since Kaizer Roll is too good for PMs. But, in any case...
THE ADVENTURES OF GAMER LUNA (FEAT. MOLESTIA)!: BET-RIDDEN!
An unauthorized parody of "Molestia Gamer Luna: The Bet" by KaizerKaiju2014
Written by That Gamer!
Princess Celestia "Molestia" Faust II crashed right into Princess Luna "Gamer Luna" Faust II's door. After grumbling to herself about how nopony knows how to open these them, she opened the door and ran right into Gamer Luna's room.
"Hey, Luna, I finally decided to just embrace it and let you take over my blog!" Molestia announced happily.
Instead of being completely ecstatic, Gamer Luna quickly covered herself with a bed sheet. "For the love of Faust, Molestia! Learn to knock first before you enter!"
"You never knock," Molestia retorted.
"But I always know what you're doing, so what's the point?" Gamer Luna argued.
"The point is my face did all the knocking for me," Molestia shot back. "And what exactly where you doing, fine, young sister?"
"Nothing that is of any importance to you," Gamer Luna replied. She looked nervous. "Why don't you go back to reading Clopfics Galore! or whatever it's called?"
"First of all, I've already finished it at least a dozen time..." Molestia began.
"Was it as engaging the first time as the seventh?" Gamer Luna asked.
"Well, after the sixteenth time, it kind of loses it's edge," Molestia admitted with a little shrug. "Especially after I realized just how many horrible suggestions I can ma- HEY! You're distracting me!"
"No I'm not!" Gamer Luna said with obviously fake innocence.
"Yes. Yes you are," Molestia said. "Not let's see what you're doing under there..."
And with that, Molestia used MAGICK to tear the sheets off of Gamer Luna (quite literally, seeing as Gamer had quite the iron grip (which came with years of gaming)) and saw Lulu's hoof above somewhere Molestia constantly treated.
"Oh my... Are you clopping, Luna?" Molestia asked, looking quite happy with what she saw.
"Um... It seems pretty obvious, doesn't it?" Gamer Luna asked back. She looked embarrassed. "Wonder why I didn't just move my hoof while it was under the blanket..."
"Luna, I am so proud of you!" Molestia told her younger sister. With a small laugh, she went right next to her sister. "You're finally ready to become a central part of my blog!"
"B-but the sexual stuff is your gimmick!" Luna argued.
"If it's my gimmick, why does Kinky Pie also have it?" Molestia asked back.
"Um... I-"
"Speaking of gimmicks," Molestia interrupted, "where did your gaming gimmick come from?"
"That came from-"
"The flank of whoever made my blog!" Molestia finished for Gamer Luna.
"CAN WE GET BACK ON TOPIC?!" Gamer Luna exclaimed.
"OK! Who ya cloppin' to?" Molestia obviously agreed to Luna's suggestion.
Luna facehoofed. "That is NOT what I meant..."
"Is it whoever's on this here picture?" Molestia enquired, trying to get a good look at said picture.
"No, it is not!" Gamer Luna snapped. She quickly pulled the picture away.
"Well, lucky for me, I can do this." Having said that, Molestia used even more MAGICK to take the picture of Gamer.
"Hey, that's not fair!" Gamer Luna whined. She tried to use her own MAGICK to take the picture back, but she couldn't.
"I told you sexual magic is a lot stronger then regular magic," Molestia said before looking at the picture. "Huh... You... Clop to Twilight?"
"No, I don't!" Gamer Luna said. "You're just seeing it wrong...!"
"Let me guess..." Moelstia muttered under breath, watching the picture immediately change. "You instead clop to Nyx?"
"I... I didn't exactly have a lot of time to think of anything different!" Gamer Luna said defensively.
Molestia nodded in some kind of satisfaction and changed the picture back herself.
"OK, so you now know that I have the same sexual fetish as Luna," Gamer Luna said.
"Well, you are her clone," Molestia added.
"Exactly. So, tell me, what are you doing to do now?" Gamer Luna asked.
"I think I'm gonna..." Molestia tapped her chin as she thought of what she could do. "GO TELL DERPY!"
"Wait, what!?" Gamer Luna shouted as Molestia shot out of the room.
"Derpy, where are you?" Molestia called as Gamer Luna chased her.
As you can imagine, this went on for a while. Molestia runnin' through the castle, tryin' to find Derpy, whilst Gamer Luna let out a long series of cusses she learned from online gaming. I'm only telling you this because it's mostly the same thing over and over again. And I want to get to the point. So... Here it is:
"Aw, you f[BUY SOME APPLES]ing b[BUY SOME APPLES]d! Where the f[BUY SOME APPLES]k did you go!?" Gamer Luna snarled. She didn't notice that Molestia had ducked into a near-by bathroom.
"Thank goodness we recently got public restrooms installed..." Molestia muttered to herself, sighing a sigh of relief (the first time she sighed about something that wasn't bucking). "Now, let's see... If I was a derping pegasus, where would I be?... A-ha!" If she had fingers, she would have snapped them. Heck, something snapped anyways. "Gamer Luna's gaming room! Of course!"
It was then when she finally noticed the two stallions at the urinals to the left of her.
"Oh, hey, Degirar, Rocknighty..." Molestia greeted the two, knowing their exact response. "How's it been going?"
She didn't get an answer, 'cause the two chose right then to start running for their lives.
"You could have at least waited for me to get away from the door before you ran it down!" Molestia shouted after the two. "Anyways-"
"THERE YOU ARE!" Gamer Luna yelled from somewhere behind Molestia.
The sexual alicorn rolled her eyes. "I do not need another session of this," she said aloud, telepor'in away just as Gamer Luna tried to tackle her.
"AHH!" Gamer Luna naturally fell to the floor. "Where did she go?!... Wait, she's looking for Derpy... My gaming room!" And she started to run, now more panicked then angry.
Finally arriving at the door of Gamer Luna's shrine, she promptly ran into the door... And got her horn stuck.
"Sexual magic beats real magic every time!" Molestia boasted with a singsong voice from behind the door.
"Ah, why did one of Celestia's clones have to be a sexual one?!" Gamer Luna asked herself.
"I have no clue," Molestia replied. "But I know what I do have! Derpy and this picture! Speaking of which, how's it been going, Ol' Derpster?"
"Well, I've been locked in here for the last couple days," Derpy replied, "which is what Luna always does whenever I come over. I've been playing some Pony Kart and, I have to say, it's a major let down."
"Yeah, but what do you know?" Molestia asked Derpy.
"According to Luna, not a whole lot," Derpy said with a twinge of sadness.
Molestia slapped Derpy and said, "It's a rhetorical question. I really just want to show you something!"
"I liked being shown things!" Derpy said happily, putting her controller down and looking Molestia.
"Well, then you're going to love this," Molestia chuckled. But before she could pull the picture out of her plothole to show Derpy, there was an explosion. The door was flung back and rebounded back.
"Aw, damn it, now my horn's stuck in the WALL!" Gamer Luna shouted. "You mind doing something useful for once?!"
Molestia shrugged and used MAGICK to pull Gamer Luna out of the wall.
"Thanks," Gamer Luna muttered grimly, rubbing her horn (because of the pain).
"...Luna, why are you cosplaying as a sex-crazed maniac?" Derpy asked.
"Yes, what in the world did happen to you?" Molestia asked as well, knowing that Derpy had no idea that there were clones of the two princesses.
Suddenly, Derpy hopped onto her four hooves. "Well, I was first seen in the first episode and I was originally an animation error-"
"Shut up, Derpy."
"What happened was you," Gamer Luna hissed, walking up to Molestia all threatening-like. "I am so f[BUY SOME APPLES]ing sick of you and your sexual ways! Always clopping, always bucking somepony, always bucking something, always trying to steal my spotlight on the blog-"
"Actually, it's MY blog, thank you very much," Molestia corrected Gamer Luna.
"Shut the f[BUY SOME APPLES]k up, I am talking!" Gamer Luna snapped. "I am tried of this! Every time I try to have some time to myself, you're always somewheres moaning and screaming and reading your damn clop fics obnoxiously loud to yourself! Every day, every nite, every afternoon- You know what, it's getting old! It's not funny anymore! You can't go 48 hours without doing anything sexual!"
"JUST 48 hours?"
"No, sorry, I meant 48 minutes!" Gamer Luna sarcastically corrected herself.
"Speaking of which, it's Miller Time," Molestia said, checking the watch she just now noticed she had. She tried to leave, but Gamer Luna stopped her.
"No! All I want for you is to stop bucking and clopping sometime!"
"Then how's about we make a bet?" Molestia suddenly suggested.
"A... Bet?" Gamer Luna repeated slowly.
Molestia rolled her eyes and nodded. "Yes, a bet," she confirmed. "Faust, you're about as stupid as Derpy!"
"Um... Can I go home?" Derpy finally spoke up.
"Stay OUT of this!" Gamer Luna and Molestia said at the same time (Gamer Luna added the emphasis on "OUT").
"Anyways, as I was saying," Molestia went on, "I do propose a bet. If I can go [insert length of time here] without clopping, bucking or doing any of those things you hate, you will have to clean to the carpet that you just HAD to walk over with wet hooves!... For two weeks!"
"Two weeks?" Gamer Luna scoffed. "That's nothing."
"And, Naughty Naughty Luna will replace you on the blog," Molestia added.
Gamer Luna narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."
"And I won't tell anypony," Molestia said.
"Ergh... What if I win?"
"If you win..." Molestia let out a sigh. "You can have the blog all to yourself for a month."
"It's already like that," Gamer Luna pointed out.
"Yes, but, this time, it's intentional," Molestia assured Gamer Luna. "So you up for it?"
"Well..." Gamer Luna tried to think about it.
"Too late, you're presence is all the answer I need, IT STARTS TOMORROW!" Molestia said quickly before running off.
Gamer Luna was a little shocked, but she quickly got over it. "You better hold up your half of the deal!" she yelled after Molestia. A couple of moments later, she said to Derpy, "Don't worry, that was nothing."
"I've... I've never seen you that angry!" Derpy admitted. "What went wrong?"
"Ugh... My sister was being an idiot again," Gamer Luna told Derpy. "Look, we'll forget about it over some food or something, 'K?"
Derpy gasped. "Can it be muffins?!"
"Derpy, you know that's just a fan thing and you don't have to go along with it," Gamer Luna reminded Derpy.
"No, it's been canoninininininized!" Derpy said. "Look!" She threw a comic in Gamer Luna's face.
"Huh... They actually made this thing," Gamer Luna muttered. She MAGICK'D it off her face and looked at the cover. "What the fu... I'm not on this cover! I mean, Celestia's there, but I'm not!" she flipped open the comic to quickly scan it. "Am I at least in the issue? Chrysalis is there, but I'm not- I'M ON THE LAST FAUST-DAMN COVER!"
"At least you're on a cover," Derpy said reassuringly.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Gamer Luna grumbled, throwing the comic back at Derpy and walking off. "Let's just go..."
"OK!" Derpy chirped, following Gamer Luna and reading the comic. "Hey! Lookit how many covers I'm on!"
"You can shut up now!"
A/N: Yes! I will finish Like An Atom Bomb! I just got inspired to write this and I did! You can't let go of a good idea because of other, not-as-good ideas. So I wrote this over the course of three hours, a dozen Retsupuraes, a couple songs, a few Whose Line clips, a couple (Joke) Alt. Titles on FIMFiction and uploading a new PMV ReDub compilation. Well, bonum nocte et fortuna.