Pairings used/mentioned/implied: RusCan, RoChu, onesided! Franada, onesided! UsUk, onesided! AmeriCan
Warnings: yaoi, violence, incest, Snapped! Canada
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HETALIA, ITS' CHARACTERS OR THE COUNTRIES!
I've worked on this for seven months! That said I truly hope you enjoy! Please review!
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
It was a chilly afternoon in December; Matthew Williams was reviewing his packing when the phone rang. Recognizing the number on the ID screen he gave a soft groan. He loved his brother and knew that they were allies but sometimes his brother could be a bit much. Bossy, self-absorbed and occasionally dim, but then again, what country didn't have a trait or mistake they regretted. Reluctantly, he picked up the phone.
"H-hello?"
"Hey Matt! It's Alfred, haven't talked to you forever bro! What's up?"
"I'm just about to go snowmobiling with Ivan. I'm very sorry but this call is a little inconvenient. I need to get things done and Ivan is gonna be here any minute."
"Whoa! You're crazy, do you two have a clue how cold it is?-"
Matthew cut Alfred off before he could make a Canadian joke "-40 degrees Celsius." He said stiffly. You had to be firm with Alfred or else he would never take you seriously.
"What dude? What's it in Fahrenheit. I don't read Celsius."
Matthew rolled his eyes knowing Al couldn't see him. There was a knock at the door. Matthew went to check the window. Ivan was standing outside waiting for him.
"Oh Jeez, Alfred listen I gotta go, Ivan is waiting outside for me. I'll talk t' ya later 'kay?"
"Okay, have fun freezing!" Alfred laughed and hung up.
Sighing in relief, Matthew tossed the phone on the couch, picked up his duffle bag, zipped up his coat and headed out the door closing it firmly behind him.
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
After four hours of snowmobiling the sky faded to an early dusk. The frozen wind that whipped about them seeped through their coats and settled into their bones.
"I think we go in for the day, da?"Said Ivan, countering the weather with his cheery attitude. One thing was certain; Ivan was not bothered by the cold in the least.
"Y-yes that sounds like a good idea but, the roads will be treacherous. How will I get back home eh?" asked Matthew, his words nearly lost in the howling gale.
"Not to worry. I have a cabin not far from here we are able to reach by snowmobile. You can spend the night and we'll go back for the truck in the morning da?"
Matthew agreed to the plan and sped off after Ivan. Upon entering the cabin Matthew took in the details: a well equipped kitchen with a narrow staircase on the left leading to the upper floor. There was also a spacious living room with an area rug, sofa, coffee table, a few chairs and a fireplace.
"Comrade Matvey I'm afraid I don't bring people here very often so I never have reason for a guest room, you'll have to spend the night on the sofa. Is that acceptable?" Ivan said helping Matthew out of his coat.
"Yeah, to be honest I was freezing out there near the end. So I'm grateful to just be out of the cold. Thank you. Should I get a fire going?"
"Yes, I will prepare supper and then we can warm up."
They kept up a lively conversation throughout the meal learning about each others' family, their pasts and their problems. Once the meal was finished and they washed the dishes, Ivan poured two glasses of vodka and they sat by the fire in an attempt to chase away the last of the chill. The house was warm but the chatter had stopped, they had yet to touch their drinks. Matthew looked at Ivan who was sitting next to him, staring into the flames with an air of melancholy.
"He's all right." Matthew thought to himself. "I don't get why everyone's afraid of him, maybe it's because he grew up around dominance so he controls and enforces as a way to keep others close. Though he may seem distant and unreachable he's quite nice once you get to know him."
Ivan turned to Matthew and held him in a gaze that bled sincerity although Matthew could read the touch of fear that brimmed in his violet-coloured eyes. Before Matthew realized what was happening Ivan had guided Matthews' chin leading him into a gentle kiss. It had lasted only a moment and it wasn't deep or demanding but it left Matthew stunned.
"I-I'm sorry." Ivan stammered, his cheeks spattered with cherry crimson. "It is just I completely lack social skills so all the other nations are being terrified of me. Even my older sister is staying away from me now!" He grabbed Matthew by the shoulders. "You are the only true friend I have, the only one who knows I have a heart!" He cried. Releasing Matthew he slumped forward head in hands and let the sobs rack his body. "For that action you mean everything to me."He whispered through his tears.
Matthew was confused as he considered how to respond. It was highly unusual to see Ivan act in this manner knowing that alcohol wasn't a factor. Ivan was normally cheerful but everyone knew this was a facade built to hide a murderous psychopathic history. He would keep control but once he's snapped he becomes unaware of the damage he does. On top of that, the after-shock of that sudden kiss still withheld his ability to speak. Eventually he found the right words but he could barely get them past his trembling lips.
"It's okay." He breathed.
Ivan lifted his head and looked at Matthew, his face streaked with tears. He sat up straight and regained his composure as best he could. Then there was an awkward pause.
"I really am sorry Matvey I have probably damaged your reputation."
A slow smile spread across Matthews' face as he leaned closer to the larger nations' ear. "It doesn't matter. We're the only two here, right?" The Canadian murmured, his nervousness quickly dissolving.
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
Matthew spent the night on Ivan's couch and returned to the truck without further incident. Matthew unlocked the door to his house as Ivan turned to get back in his truck but Matthew grabbed him by the sleeve. Ivan looked at him, expecting him to say something.
"I-I enjoyed last night, I think we should do something like that again." He stammered giving Ivan one of his usual shaky smiles.
"You are not mad at me? I still can't shake the feeling that what I did last night was wrong of me."
Matthew held up his hands for Ivan to stop and shrugged. "It's okay I said I enjoyed it didn't I?" He could hardly believe he said that aloud. "Exactly how far do I want to take this? You know what," he thought. "Maybe we could explore this a little more." He decided to rise up on tip-toe and drop a swift kiss on Ivan's' cheek before he opened the door and disappeared inside.
He was giddy with excitement and he couldn't help the huge grin on his face. He peeked through the curtains, unseen as Ivan smiled. Blushing as he got in the truck. He placed his bag on the floor and called to Kumajiro. A few seconds later his furry companion was by his side whining to be fed as usual. Matthew chuckled softly, ruffled the bears fur and walked into the kitchen to fix a snack for his friend. As he set a plate of salmon on the floor he noticed a note on the counter. Recognizing Frances' handwriting he scanned the note quickly. Seeing it contained nothing important he rolled his eyes and dicarded the message. When was it going to occur to the French man that Matthew wasn't interested? He decided to ask Arthur about this. Remembering that the Brit was most likely at Alfreds'.
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
When he arrived at Alfreds' he was not shocked when a rather dishevelled looking Arthur answered the door.
"Oh Matthew, this is a surprise. What with Alfred sick and all. You might have called." Arthur said a little archly.
"He's still not well eh? Actually I came to talk to you. May I come in please?"
Hearing this he let him in. Once they were seated in the dining room Matthew poured out the whole tale, starting at the trip with Ivan and finishing with his recent note on the counter from Francis. After Matthew had finished the tale of his life over the span of the past two days he checked Arthurs' face for a reaction, some sign of empathy. Arthurs' face hadn't changed so the Canuck asked a question to test if he was really listening. "Hey Arthur, how- how did you get Francis to leave you alone?"
Arthur sighed and fiddled with the scone in front of him, reluctant to look Matthew in the eyes. "He simply got bored with me. It's true I tried to drive him away but it never worked. I guess after a few years he got tired of me. Now I have Alfred." He said, a slight smile playing on his lips as his eyes drifted up in the direction of the bedroom where Alfred was surely sleeping off his cold.
Matthew winced. "Please don't speak that way. I think you've forgotten he's my brother."
"Oops I'm sorry about that. As for Francis there's nothing you can do unless he forgets you."
"Unless he forgets you." The words hit him like bricks and hurt worse. "Of course," he thought sullenly. "That won't be too hard. Everyone forgets me at some point." So he stood up, thanked Arthur for listening and asked him to give his regards to Alfred as he headed out the door. Now standing out in the slush with the sleet slipping through his dark blonde locks, he felt very alone then he remembered that he left his gloves in the conference room at the last meeting. When he got there his footsteps echoed in the empty hall with loud depressing taps. He noticed how vast the halls seemed when you were by yourself. He opened the door to the conference room and startled when he saw a figure slumped forward on the table clutching a half empty bottle. He could smell the strong alcohol, his nose told him it was vodka. Then he recognized the unmistakable scarf.
"Ivan?!" he rushed to his side and shook his shoulder gently.
Ivan groaned softly and turned his face in Matthews' direction. "Who?"
"It's Matthew. Can you walk?"
"I think so, if you support me."
Matthew wordlessly obeyed. It wasn't first time Matthew had dealt with a drunk. He remembered after Alfred declared independence Arthur would come home completely pickled every night for a month. Eventually he kicked the habit but every now and then he'd over do it. Matthew supported Ivan's left side but no sooner had Ivan taken two steps then they both crashed to the floor.
"You liar" Matthew smirked "you said you could walk."
A playful look crossed Ivan's face. "I made no such promises." He said with mock hurt. He smiled as Matthew strained under his weight. Ivan was trim but he was also quite tall.
"You're not as light as you appear. Could you please get off me?"
"No." Ivan said, deadpan.
"What!?" Matthew yelped with a trace of panic.
"You posed that as request. Requests can be denied." Ivan said in a smug tone.
Matthew rolled his eyes. "I know you're drunk but can't you have a little common sense?"
"Aha! You posed that as request as well." Ivan grinned in triumph as Matthews' face flushed scarlet in frustration.
"Alright how's this; GET OFF ME!"
"On one condition; take off your glasses. I want to see your beautiful eyes."
"Given his state I won't argue. I don't want him upset at this point." He thought as he removed his glasses, blushing at the complement.
"There that's better." Ivan said smiling.
"We had a deal Ivan, now get off." Matthew said trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
Ivan huffed childishly but complied, helping the smaller blond to his feet. Using the moment to his advantage he gave Matthew a kiss. It lingered a while longer than the last two they shared and Matthew realized how much he missed this. How much he missed him.
Ivan leaned down slightly to whisper in Matthews' ear."Я тебя люблю Дарлинг."
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
Two weeks later Matthew decided he would pay Ivan a visit but when he got there Toris had answered the door.
"Matthew, what a surprise! Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Hi Toris, is Ivan at home?"
"No I'm afraid not, sorry about that."
"Can you tell me where he might've gone?"
"I really shouldn't. He said he wanted to be alone."
Matthew didn't like to lie but he could tell something was being kept from him. "Please? We got our duffle bags mixed up and I came to return his."
"I suppose that's alright. The last thing he said when he left last week was that he was going to stay at his cabin for a few days."
"Okay thanks Toris. See ya later!"
When Matthew pulled up in front of the cabin a thick snow was beginning to fall. As he stepped out of the truck he saw a tall woman in an icy sapphire parka ambling up the walkway and jingling a set of keys in the lock.
"Excuse me Miss?" He called.
"Who's that?" She asked turning around, a puzzled expression etched on her lovely features.
"Katyusha, it's me Matthew don't you remember me?"
Her confused appearance dissolved into a radiant smile. She wrapped Matthew in an enthusiastic squeeze (nearly smothering him in her expansive chest) "Oh Matvey! It is good to see you again! It's been too long! Are you here to see Ivan?"
"Y-yes. Is he okay? I heard he actually left a week ago. Vanishing like that isn't really like him eh?"
"Yes, He's been under pressure a great deal lately. I came today to check on him."
Matthew recalled what Ivan had said after supper that evening; "Even my older sister is staying away from me now!" This was his chance. "D-do you want me to accompany you?"
Katyusha considered the offer and nodded meekly. Once they were inside Matthew took off his coat and Katyusha made a beeline for the stairs. Matthew had just sat down when out of the blue he heard her give a shriek of surprise. "Oh I'm so sorry brother! I should have knocked! Curse my foolish head!" She cried ducking quickly out of the room. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she flew down the stairs and out the door. She had completely forgotten Matthew in her haste.
"Ok I know she's a little over-sensitive but I've never seen her react to anything like that before. I wonder what happened." The small Canadian thought to himself.
Curiosity won out and after a minute or two he quietly slipped upstairs and down the hall towards Ivans' room. He knelt on the floor and put his ear to the firmly shut door. He could hear the faint sound of muffled voices. Matthew opened the bedroom door just a crack. This was something he knew he shouldn't be doing but he couldn't stop himself. Peering in through the small gap he saw Ivan sitting in the window frame dressed in his usual beige coat, cream-coloured scarf and khaki pants. He was admiring the crystal flakes as they drifted soundlessly from a monochrome sky, coating the frozen ground below in a blanket of pure white. Ivan looked so innocent and tranquil, his milky complexion and silver hair bathed in the pale light of a cloudy winter morning. Matthews' heart began to beat faster with longing but it almost stopped completely when a vaguely familiar figure draped himself languidly around Ivan's broad shoulders. In his shock Matthew almost didn't recognize the long, sleek, ebony hair. Ivan turned around to look at Yao with desire flickering behind his amethyst eyes. Matthews' head was swirling with disbelief. His knees nearly buckled as he attempted to flee the scene before him.
"No! It isn't true! It isn't true! He said I meant everything to him!" Matthew clutched his head trying desperately to convince himself that this was some cruel joke but, in some part of his subconscious he knew it was going to happen sooner or later. It never failed, he had been forgotten. Even in ''Childhood'' no one really cared for him that much. Francis then later Arthur were responsible for ''Raising'' him but they were more interested in arguing with each other over who had ''Custody'' over Matthew. Once Francis was out of picture Arthur took over but he always seemed to favour Alfred more. Arthur drowned himself in alcohol when Alfred left, leaving Matthew to fend for himself. The hot tears of despair staining his cheeks dragged him back to the present. He hastily mopped them up with his sleeve before they had the chance to practically freeze on his face. He clambered into his truck but paused when he put the key in the ignition. "You're being foolish, running off like an upset child!" He scolded himself sharply. "You're all mature adults! You should be able to at least confront Ivan about this." He caught a glance of his eyes in the rear view mirror, they were red and puffy from crying but the cold conditions were gradually returning his distraught face to normal. He decided that it would have to do.
With new resolve he jumped out and rang the doorbell. After a minute or two he rang it again... and again and again and again. Unlike Ivan he loved the snow but the bitter chill was biting him with the utmost absolute cruelty it could muster. When the door finally opened Matthew discarded his desolate face and quickly replaced it with a mask bearing a friendly smile and typically sparkling periwinkle eyes. There stood Wang Yao, what he lacked in height he made up for in respect because he was one of the oldest countries still standing, he was over four thousand years old (despite an outer appearance of a young man in his early twenties) and thus greatly respected as such. He was smiling in a composed manner but his eyes suggested he'd been crying just moments ago, the eastern nations' act began to crumble.
"What was Ivan doing to him?!" Matthew knew that was a foolish question for regardless of what Ivan did to him the Russian could not be called gentle in that aspect, Matthew knew that much. [A/N little did he know those were tears of guilt] He opened his mouth to say something but Yao spoke first. Matthew could tell that the Asian nation displayed a highly frightened demeanour which was extremely unusual.
"A-a-America! I've done what you asked! Someone saw, your brother will hear soon!"He moved to slam the door but Matthew caught it and explained to Yao that he had the wrong twin... again. Yao looked extremely relieved to hear this and reopened the door.
"What do you mean "done what he asked"?" Asked Matthew, trying to keep his voice steady.
Yao huffed, recovering his ordinary calm attitude. "Americas' orders were that I was to "subdue and seduce" Ivan by any means possible, preferably in front of another nation so that you would hear the gossip and leave Ivan."
"Why would he do something like that?" Matthew was dumbfounded. They were talking about the same America, right? The self-proclaimed "Hero"?
"I am not sure," Yao said thoughtfully "but if I remember correctly his exact words were; "I want that vodka sucker off my baby brother!"
"Why would you go along with that-?"
"I didn't want to play wanton." Yao clarified. "America put me under physical threat."
"You mean to tell me that my brother planned to take military action... over a personal matter?!" Matthew finished the question in an uncharacteristic shout, furious that Alfred would do something so stupid.
"No, with the global economic recession starting a war is too risky. I don't think anyone can afford the finical drawback. His threat was directed at me as an individual. It didn't involve any international affairs."
"Well that's a relief, I apologize on my brothers' behalf. I promise you didn't hurt me. This is all Alfreds' fault. May I speak to Ivan please?"
"Umm no, I would gladly let you talk to him but his mood is rather dangerous right now. If you come back tomorrow he should be okay."
"Alright, thank you. Now if you'll please excuse me I have a brother to talk to." Matthew said turning serious. He spun on his heel, leapt in his truck and drove off.
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
Sitting in his truck he sifted through his duffle bag and smiled lightly at the familiar wood lying at the bottom; his favourite hockey stick —he had to be "firm" with Alfred— this should get his point across. He marched up to the door and went straight inside, not bothering to knock.
"ALFRED! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" He hollered into the vast house.
Alfred pounded down the stairs and frowned slightly the young man in his living room. "Um, do I know you?" He asked perplexedly.
Matthew stood there for a moment flabbergasted that his own twin could forget him. "I'M CANADA!" In a matter of seconds he covered the ground between them and was shaking Alfred violently by the shoulders. "CA-NA-DA!"
"Oh right! So what can the Hero do for ya?"
"Shut up! I know what you did, Yao told me! Why would the hero do something so underhanded, so appalling?"
Alfreds' eyes glistened with mild hurt but they had a sinister light to them. "I love you. Remember 1812? You rejected me—"
"That wasn't 'Rejection' that was self-defence! Do you think you could win the heart of someone through violence?!"
The Americans' gaze darkened. "Well second times the charm right?" In the time it took to blink Alfred collided his lips into Matthews' sending both of them to the floor. Matthew was momentarily paralyzed. Alfred kissed him as if to dominate and knotted his fingers in Matthews' hair. The Canuck concentrated all his strength and shoved at his brothers' shoulders with a force that sent him crashing into the wall, but Alfred refused to buckle.
"I don't get it. You push me away but you fall into the arms of that psycho without so much as a second thought." His voice now dangerously soft.
Matthew retrieved his hockey stick and rose from the floorboards.
He took up a threatening stance and grit his teeth. "Ivan loves me and I love him. If you really loved me you wouldn't hurt me. If you were a "Hero" you wouldn't threaten others. I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not. You hurt so many and because of what you've done you could've started World War III!"He lunged at Alfred, bringing the stick down with a whoosh and a crack on his twins' forehead. He felt a fleeting pang of guilt as his southern relation crumpled to the floor, blood slowly pooling around his collapsed form. In a few minutes Afreds' regeneration system would begin to repair and bring him to life. This thought comforted Matthew because even though Alfred was a brash, idiotic, narcissistic twit he was after all that, still Matthews' brother.
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
The next day Matthew rode his snowmobile to the cabin and chose their trail. If he took the roads no doubt he would've burst through the speed limit. He slid to a stop and strode to the door. He resisted the urge to pound on it like a madman for two reasons:
1. Out of consideration for Ivans' potential hangover.
2. If he did that then he might be mistaken for Ivans' insane, insistent, incestuous little sister Natalia. If that happened Ivan would never get the door.
So he settled for ringing the doorbell. When Ivan answered the door he looked like he'd been buried in a crypt for a thousand years. Upon seeing Matthew his exhausted expression collapsed in to one of disbelief. He pulled his lover into his arms and held him there as if to say; "I'm sorry." Matthew melted within the embrace, wordlessly wrapping his arms around the Russian.
Ivan ushered him in and directed him to the sofa. Once they were seated they told their stories and pieced them together. Yao was deemed innocent and because of the beating Matthew supplied, Alfred was let off the hook.
Ivan was the first to break their peaceful silence. "What about your family?" He asked slightly concerned.
The petite blond thought carefully about this as he snuggled deeper into the security provided by his sweetheart. "Well I already told Arthur and the news barely fazed him, so I think he'll remain indifferent on the subject. I'll explain to Francis that we are in love and he'll leave us alone. As for Al..." he looked up at Ivan. "He will come to terms with it eventually... right?"
"I don't know Sunflower." He said frowning lightly. "But I do know this; if this is love then it shouldn't matter what he thinks."
_-_-#*0&0*#-_-_
When Ivan and Matthew entered the meeting room everyone stopped their chatting, fighting and flirting to stare at them. For the first time in a long time everyone could see Matthew, clear as day. He had been waiting to be noticed for a tragically long time. Now that it finally happened, he wasn't so sure he liked it. The arguing transformed into murmurs and whispering punctuated with suppressed squealing, gleeful giggling and the odd flash of a camera. Matthew began to shrink away from the scrutinizing gaze of the other nations when an unexpected voice spoke up.
"Aaiya! If we stand around all day we will get nothing done aru!"
The nations fell silent and slowly sat back down, resuming their meeting. As Matthew took his seat he nodded his head gratefully to the Asian nation as he passed to which Yao replied with a small smile.
At that moment Matthew knew, things would work out.
Russian translation: Я тебялюблюДарлинг I love you darling