Hi guys, I'm back. Yeah, I know, it's not Those Whom The Gods Desire, but hey, it's words. After some truly horrific years I have started writing again. While I intend to get back into TWtGD forthright and forthwith, I thought I'd end my long hiatus from writing with this little monstrosity.
As far as crack pairings go, this one is not one that gets a lot of attention, with only a scant handful of drabbles having been devoted to it. So, of course, I had to throw a novel at it. Did I say novel? Yep! This story, which is already completed and which I have proofread and edited extensively for both errors and internal continuity (but lacks a beta... so if there's a volunteer in the crowd...), clocks in at over 90k words, divided into 14 lengthy chapters with a prologue and epilogue. This, here, is the prologue. It differs from the rest of the story in that it's third person single POV, whereas the rest of the story is third person omniscient POV, and of course for reasons of narrative effect, I don't name the person until the end of this chapter. Remember, boys and girls, I'm a Canadian, what you Americans think is a spelling error is likely nothing of the sort, so please don't post reviews claiming that I've spelled 'colour' wrong or am using nonexistent systems of measurement. If you find an actual mistake, I highly encourage you to post or message me (cite the chapter and passage in which it occurs so I can search, this is a huge fic) and I will fix it as promptly as I am able. If you happen to be Korean or familiar with feudal Korean society, I would love your feedback on any errors I've made. My sister-in-law is unfortunately not a Naruto fan.
The setting is a combination of canon, and stuff that I have placed within the theoretical Narutoverse. There are OCs for the purposes of world building, and to clarify and spur on the relationship between the main characters, who are both fairly canon. There won't be any torrid romances with mary sues in this fic. This is also a slightly different take on both Gaara and Karin, where Gaara is not quite as zen as he becomes in canon, and some harsh life lessons have forced Karin to change as well. I've tried to keep the emotions and reactions of both characters realistic, as well as the other characters in the story. The story is a combination of action/adventure, slice-of-life, romance, and comedy.
As with almost all my fics, this fic has graphic violence and very explicit sexual content. This whole fic is VERY M, if you are not someone who wants to be exposed to graphic violence and very explicit sexual content, you might not want to read this, and you'll definitely want to heed the chapter warnings. There's plenty of violence throughout, and Chapter 9 has a much higher lemon to text ratio than I usually write, with more lemons in the chapters after. So, if you are under the legal age of majority in your country, please don't read this fic. Seriously, it will still be here once you get old enough, provided I don't get hit by the famous content-nazi patrol.
As always, I hope you enjoy my little slice of brain-vomit. Have fun reading. I had fun writing. Look for a once-a-week publishing schedule, usually around Thursday or Friday to give the story a chance to reach those who would actually want to read it.
Prologue – Somehow, not dead?
She sat in the dank cell, wondering when the interrogator would come next. Her wounds had been healed just enough to ensure that she'd survive, but not enough to stop them from hurting while time did what healers didn't. The pain would only help the interrogator, after all. That or the painkilling drugs they occasionally gave her, which also had the effect of messing with her head and loosening her tongue more than she liked.
At the start of the mission, ending up in a Konoha dungeon was not on the list of things she'd expected to experience. But then again, neither was her teammate trying to kill her; and succeeding in abandoning her. Not after what they'd shared in the time just before the attack. And then to order that bitch to prove her loyalty by finishing what he'd started. Betrayed and replaced, all in a handful of minutes. Her memories of what came after that were decidedly fuzzy. She remembered being handed over to Morino Ibiki, though. She would never forget that.
And from there? Pain, drugs, questioning, torture, and imprisonment in this dank cell. At least there was nothing permanently disfiguring or that wouldn't heal in time. All the questions had been about her teams and the people she worked for. And there were the painful questions about her former lover.
Once, she'd been a subordinate of the most powerful shinobi of his generation, and she'd been happy in that role. She'd been fanatically devoted to him, to the point of killing any who spoke ill of him. When he died, she transferred that loyalty to her new team leader. And then he had stabbed her, just to get at another enemy, and discarded her like so much trash.
Compared to the emotional aftermath of that, the physical pain was nothing, at least for the first little while. She had been reduced to merely an obstacle, a thing; to the man she thought she loved more than anything else in the world. To know that the one she adored, who she had followed to the ends of the earth and with whom she had shared her body, could betray her so completely, sucked. What sucked more was that he got her before she could get him.
Sitting in this dungeon provided a lot of time to think, really. More time than she'd ever had in her life for introspection. She couldn't rightly say just how much time had passed, but there was a lot of it. Days blurred into weeks, into what she thought had to be months. At some point, she broke. She wasn't exactly sure when. She ended up telling Ibiki what he wanted to know. Well, most of it anyway. A little corner of her that remained intact thrilled at the minor victory of being able to hold anything back.
And then, they left her. They let her sit in that cell, for hells only know how long. She really had no conception of the passage of time. She'd lost track of the time a while ago, when she was frequently delirious from torture, drugs, or both. She hadn't seen another live human being in what she thought had to be weeks. New food came and empty dishes vanished in her sleep. She was permitted to sleep, though the occasional flickering spells suffered by the single fluorescent tube outside the bars of her cell often interfered with that. There was no natural light, and no other people in the cells around her. No guards anymore, either. Why bother? The cell suppressed chakra and it did its job well. They were all too busy dealing with something else.
If she thought she'd broken before, she knew better now. Now that they had what they wanted from her, it seemed they were just going to forget about her. She started to wonder exactly what went wrong, and what would happen from here, and what was happening on the outside, since she could no longer listen in on the guards gossiping. Surely Konoha would never free her. Her choices had been to talk, or die. She'd talked. Now it seemed she was to be forgotten.
Despite her strength, despite doing all the things that should have brought her to the top, she had ended up here. She had been abandoned by her teammates and left for dead. She had been questioned and left in pain and imprisoned.
Then one day, that bitch came to her cell. The pink-haired girl had stood at the bars, staring silently at the other girl. She had glared back. She remembered the unwanted sympathy she'd felt when the other girl had cried. Red eyes met green eyes, and she wondered now if she should have wasted that sympathy. She felt a stab of hatred for the other girl.
"Come to the bars. Let me heal you," Sakura said. "As far back in the cell as you are right now, I can't get the chakra to you before the walls absorb it, and the chakra flow only goes one way through the bars."
She'd blinked, staring at the pink-head in astonishment. The medic girl's tone hadn't been contemptuous like she'd expected, and like her own would be if she stood in Sakura's place. It hadn't even been filled with pity, which would have been worse. Sakura spoke with simple human compassion. Still, her mouth twisted into a frown and she shot the other girl a suspicious look.
"Let me guess, so Ibiki can break some bones and start the pain all over again?" she snapped her reply.
"No. Because it's the right thing to do. Ibiki won't be coming. Tsunade-shishō said—," Sakura broke off suddenly, as though realizing that she was about to say something to a prisoner that a prisoner maybe shouldn't know. "Never mind that. Come here, I'll heal you." So. Tsunade was in charge again, huh? Things had changed up there.
She stood, reluctantly, from her little bench/bed and went to the bars of the cell. Sakura moved closer to her. Green chakra welled from the medic-nin's hands, and she relaxed as the healing began to take hold, righting the little things that had never really healed right on their own. Her captors had ensured she did not get infections, but they hadn't really cared much about anything else.
She sighed in relief, just relishing the feeling of being healed, of being almost whole again. Then the nagging question that had been burning in her mind just had to escape.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked.
"Because…" Sakura's voice had a quaver in it. She looked up, slightly surprised, and saw unshed tears in the green eyes of the other girl. Why would Sakura be crying, over her? "Because, he hurt you too."
There was no need to ask who he was. She only had to look into those foggy green eyes to know that Sakura loved him just as much as she herself had. Had. He'd succeeded in that much – he might not have killed her, but he'd killed any love she might have had for him with that strike.
Again, that unwanted sympathy rose in her. She accepted the healing and silently resented Sakura for it.
"Do you know what's going to happen to me?" she asked bluntly, after Sakura had finished.
"No," Sakura said, the lie gleaming in her eyes. She knew; she just didn't want to say it – the captive could see that much. Who wanted to be the one to tell someone they were going to be killed, or even just imprisoned forever? Then she left, leaving the prisoner once more in silence.
After that, she spent days alone. She sank deeper into a funk, depressed for the first time in her life. The solitude and the uncertainty about her future hooked claws deep into her, settling into her and keeping her constant companion in the loneliness of her cell.
She sometimes thought about what she would do if they released her, or if she escaped by some miracle. She knew better than to expect a rescue. If anyone came for her, it would be an assassin. Her old team and organization wanted her dead… Well, she couldn't go back to them. Anywhere she went she'd be a missing nin. And she was smart enough to realize that while she was a talented shinobi, she wasn't strong enough to make it on her own, without a team or a village for support. She'd have never gotten into her former organization without her team leader. It burned inside to admit it, but it was the truth.
Would she spend the rests of her life running from hunter squads and doing degrading jobs for anyone with some ryo? Would she be forced to work for employers who would attempt to user her body as well as her shinobi skills? Being a lone criminal kunoichi was honestly not the greatest game plan, and the idea of being forced to do unpleasant jobs and to spread her legs just to scrape by was repugnant. She really didn't know what her options were from this point.
Then, that golden-haired motherfucking ray of sunshine came to her cell to chat with her. At first, she'd been determined to hate him, to cut him with her tongue, and drive him away. She didn't need more sympathy and she sure as hell didn't need saved. But he had only smiled at her, those incredible blue eyes guileless as a child's, and proceeded to chatter at her.
He wanted to know about him. Everything about him, from the time she met him right up until he had stabbed through her to kill their enemy. At first she didn't want to talk about it. But no one could resist Konoha's golden boy for long. He was as effective as Ibiki in his own way. Despite her intentions, she found herself warming to him, if at first it was only because he was the only living thing she had access to. She remembered the calming warmth of his amazing chakra, and found herself smiling at him once or twice. And he came back, day after day, once he knew she was there. Sometimes he brought the pink-haired girl, and sometimes that weird, emotionless ink boy would come with him, but he came whenever he wasn't on a mission, and when he didn't, his kunoichi teammate often did.
This kid… she could understand why it was people were so devoted to him, she decided. Sure, he was not the brightest bulb in the pack, and he was more than a little naïve, but he had some kind of amazing charm about him. It worked its magic even on her, and she had been determined to stay closed off. But the torture, solitude of the cell, her prolonged imprisonment, and the doubt for her future had formed cracks in her shell and that boy's sunshine levered those open and exposed her to his blinding light.
She never lost her sarcastic edge – her only defence against the world – but she found herself respecting, and even liking the yellow-haired ninja. Well, she respected his strength and his capacity to care for people, even someone like herself. She sure didn't respect his brains. For the first time in her life, she formed a good opinion of another person based on something other than brute strength and lack of mercy.
She discovered that she truly believed in him, and believed in his claims. She was convinced by him. She knew without a doubt that not only would Naruto become Hokage, but he would be the greatest Hokage Konoha had ever known. And if anyone could bring Sasuke to heel, it would be this golden boy, who had such amazing love in his heart, despite being a shinobi.
And Sakura… in the other girl, she found someone she could also respect. The pink-haired girl became something like a friend, someone who appeared to genuinely care for her for her, rather than for her powers or who she was connected to. True, the initial connection had been because of Sasuke, but it had changed since then. Now there was some affection between the two young women. And she appreciated it.
And then the day came when Sakura came down with a guard, carrying some kind of paired bracelets.
"Put these on," said the pink-haired girl, pushing the bracelets through the bars. She eyed them doubtfully.
"What are these?" she asked. They looked pretty plain; just a pair of silver bracelets with binding phrases written inside them. They did something, besides look pretty. She was sure.
"They suppress chakra. Put them on and you can come with me to the baths," Sakura said.
She just about fell over. Baths! She couldn't get the bracelets on fast enough. Smirking, the guard unlocked her cell.
"Don't try anything," he said.
"Don't fucking worry. Did you say something about baths?" she retorted, looking to Sakura, who was smiling. Damned if she was going to blow her chances at seeing sunlight and breathing fresh air and taking a bath, oh Kami, a bath. Wash clothes, tap water, and bar soap just didn't cut it forever.
"Yeah. You might want this, you've been down here a while," Sakura handed her a pair of dark glasses, designed to fit over her own spectacles. She accepted them, and it turned out to be a good choice. Sakura led her out of the dungeons, up several flights of stairs and down hallways, and finally out into a dark, overcast day. An unknown time spent in the darkness of a dungeon lit with fluorescent light had not prepared her even for this, and she gladly donned the shades.
"How long was I down there?" she asked.
Sakura winced, and looked apologetic. "Six months," The other girl said.
She merely nodded, reconciling this knowledge with her internal best guess. She had thought it might be five months. It was actually six. She wondered how much the world had changed in that time. She had overheard enough gossip from her guards to know that the shinobi world had experienced some seriously fucked up changes, but knew none of the details.
"What happens now?" she asked. Her situation had clearly changed, but she wasn't entirely sure how or why.
"Bath first," Sakura replied. Ok, she could agree to that.
At the baths, she stared at the girl in the mirror with shock, barely recognizing her. She'd lost weight in the cell, and muscle tone, despite the daily exercises she'd started the moment she was able to move freely without too much pain. And she was filthy. Yes, she did indeed need prolonged contact with water. And soap. That she could have got to this state disgusted her.
She took up a position near the drain and washed herself. It took four washes and much gentleness with the tangled red mess to get her hair clean, and each shampooing carried away dark water and lots of shed hair. She decided that she could love Sakura for this, and the loofah the other girl provided cemented the deal. Strawberry might not be her first choice for soap scents, but hell, it was better than rough lye soap and she wasn't going to complain. Not right now. Maybe later, if she ever was in a secure position.
It was the longest bath she'd ever taken in her life, and hells, she needed it. Afterwards, she discovered that the filthy outfit that she'd been captured in and allowed to wear in the cell had gone missing, and been replaced with clean clothes. They were fairly plain and hardly her style, but they covered up all her scars.
"What happens now?" she asked again, after she had dressed and styled her hair. It was the first time in six months that she had the opportunity to do her hair the way she liked it.
"Tsunade-shishō wants to see you," Sakura said.
She felt a flutter of anticipation. This could be either very good or very bad. Either way, it was further proof that her situation had clearly changed. She knew damn well she was on thin ice here, and for once in her life, she was going to try to watch her mouth. She kind of wanted to come out of this alive. This could just be the last dignities permitted to someone about to be executed. But then, where was the last meal? She wanted some okonomiyaki, if that was the case.
Sakura led her back the way they came, to the tall tower from the depths of which she had emerged to the cloudy day. However, instead of going down, they went up. The two guards outside the Hokage's door barely acknowledged her existence, except for one who stood there with a senbon in his mouth of all things, who winked flirtatiously at her. That simple gesture shook her more than she expected. Who winks at the condemned?
Inside the large room was a desk covered in papers, a pig, and three people. One was clearly Tsunade, the last living sannin. She also recognized the black-haired functionary that was known to accompany Tsunade wherever she went, though she couldn't recall the woman's name at the moment. And, unexpectedly, there was Naruto. Why Naruto would be there, she did not know.
"So," Tsunade said, as she followed Sakura and stood in front of the desk. She stood in silence, waiting for the Hokage to continue. Last she'd heard, Tsunade had been badly wounded and forced out of the Hokage seat – clearly the old woman had healed and resumed her position, somehow. But she could still see the lines of exhaustion that the youth jutsu couldn't quite hide. Tsunade was tired. She wondered idly if the old woman was going to give up the hat soon, and to whom.
"So," Tsunade said again. Despite her age (or maybe because of the famous jutsu), her voice was firm and strong. "It looks like I'm going to have to decide just what to do with you." It honestly didn't sound like Tsunade was relishing the task. In fact, it sounded like she considered it a chore, a bother. The prisoner kept her face stiff, emotionless, and stifled the urge to grind her teeth. That was insulting, but then again, what should she expect?
"There's been several calls to extradite you to various villages for justice. The council wants to execute you," Tsunade said. Her ears pricked, and the gears in her head turned at that. The sannin had not said 'I' in any of this. So Tsunade herself didn't want to extradite her or execute her. Despite the bad news the old woman's words implied, this could still work for her.
Somewhere behind her, Naruto was shifting where he stood. She was vaguely surprised he hadn't burst out and said whatever was on his mind. He clearly wanted to.
She kept silent. Now was not the time.
"It's probably worthless to ask you what you want. You want to live, of course. Everyone does," Tsunade continued her monologue. Yeah, she wanted to live. She resisted the urge to flick a glance back at Naruto. Tsunade had clearly noticed her involuntary movement. Her plump, youthful lips curled into a smug smile.
"Morino-san has given me his reports on you. I know you've still got more information for us. I know there's stuff about Sasuke and Akatsuki you've managed to keep back, but that's not relevant anymore. You might still have information about Orochimaru that could be valuable."
She felt her face twitch. More interrogation? Seriously? Urrrrrgh! This time it would probably be even worse, if Ibiki thought she'd been holding back. Had the last few months of relative peace been merely a chance to let her regain her energy for the real thing? And, what the hell had changed on the surface, where her former lover and team wasn't relevant anymore… but a dead man was?
Tsunade clearly noted her enthusiasm for the idea. The sannin smiled, and the hard cast of her eyes didn't make it a very reassuring smile.
"There are alternatives to torture and execution, believe it or not. If you're willing to cooperate with Konoha, we might be willing to cut you a deal," Tsunade was still smiling.
A deal? What sort of deal. She eyed the sannin doubtfully. Major villages like Konoha didn't cut deals with S-ranked criminals, especially ones they already had in their power. She was just a page on a bingo book, or a bounty to some aspiring hunter-nin. Imprisonment, interrogation, torture and execution were to be expected. Deals were not.
"What sort of deal?" she snapped hesitantly, curious despite herself.
"Swear loyalty to Konoha. Tell us everything you know," Tsunade stated.
She stared at the old woman in incredulity. Swear loyalty? To Konoha? Dear Kami, was Tsunade serious?
"What the hells would I get from that?" she demanded, unable to censor her demeanour.
"Well, for one, you'd live," Tsunade replied.
"Besides that?" Good gods, why the hell would she do a thing like that? This was Konoha. She knew what this damn village had done to Sasuke's family, even if the rest of the world didn't.
"You'd get the protection of the village. Status, rank, work. No more running," Tsunade said. "Or did you expect to be able to go back to Akatsuki?"
She evaded the tawny brown eyes of the Hokage. She knew Akatsuki wouldn't hesitate to kill her. But damned if she was going to say it.
"The protection of Konoha, huh? Like this village protected the Uchiha clan?" she sniped. She might not love Sasuke anymore; in fact, she hated his guts now; but what had been done to his family was inexcusable. And by their own village, too.
Tsunade's face hardened at that. "That was the past. Things are different now."
Again, she resisted the urge to look back at Naruto. She knew one thing was sure, with him in the hot seat, she might have a chance. Naruto was a good person, soft-hearted and easy to manipulate. Tsunade, she didn't know, but from what she'd heard, Tsunade was not in Danzō's camp at all, and she'd had nothing to do with the Uchiha slaughter. The old sannin was said to be pretty fair, even if she was horrifically strong and a gambler of legendary reputation. She considered this. She could probably tolerate Tsunade. She could definitely tolerate Naruto.
"What's the catch?" she finally asked. There had to be one. Information and an oath of loyalty was not enough to redeem someone like her.
Tsunade smirked. "Well, naturally, there'll be a probationary period. We feel three years should be sufficient for us to decide what kind of a shinobi you could be for Konoha."
Probation. Oh joy. She would no doubt learn what humiliations that entailed. "What else?" she demanded.
"We'd have to take steps to ensure your loyalty, naturally. There would be a curse seal. If you left the village, any Konoha hunter-nin or Anbu would be able to execute you," Tsunade said.
Well, there went the plan of agreeing and running at the first opportunity. Some deal. Oh well. She considered her options. Agreeing would lead to several years of humiliation and the loss of her ability to decide for herself what she wanted to do and who she wanted to follow. Disagreeing would lead to any number of different ways to die, and/or indefinite imprisonment. She wasn't ok with either option, but honestly, living beat dying. After three years, if she managed to toe the line and behave herself, maybe they'd remove the curse seal. Then nothing would hold her back.
"Why are you even giving me this choice? I know it's not just for the information you think I have," she stated bluntly.
Tsunade smiled and sighed. "You have the gaki to thank for that. He was pretty upset when he found out what the council wanted to do to you." The Hokage gave Naruto a meaningful look. She actually turned her head to look at the blonde, who was smiling and grinning with a slightly embarrassed blush. So Naruto had stepped in, huh? And somehow, he had managed to introduce the idea of sparing her life as a viable solution. The boy really was a wonder worker.
"Of course," Tsunade continued, "I still don't know how he found out." The sannin gave Sakura a pointed glance, and the pink-haired girl gave a weak smile. So Sakura was in on this too, huh? She shouldn't really be surprised.
"Alright, I'll do it," she said, making her decision. Tsunade smiled. "But," she continued, noting with a little stab of glee the sannin's suddenly darkening expression at her interjection, "I'm not swearing loyalty to Konoha."
Tsunade opened her mouth to say something, but the prisoner continued speaking before the sannin could. "I'll swear to the Hokage instead," she turned her head slightly, meaningfully, and looked at Naruto briefly out of the corner of her eyes. Then she looked back at Tsunade.
The old hime was giving her a speculative look. "To the Hokage?" Tsunade asked, voice light. Her eyes slid briefly to Naruto, as well. "I think I can accept that."
It had been a gamble, but that interaction told her clearly who was in line for the hat next. Naruto would be a Kage soon enough. She had decided she could live with an oath of loyalty to him. If there was anyone in this Kami-damned village worth throwing in with, it was him. He had power, he was kind-hearted, and he was a complete and utter pushover.
The process of receiving the curse seal was nothing less than an ordeal. The Anbu who tattooed her tongue with the seal demonstrated the five hand signs that would instantly kill her before he inked her, with a noticeable enthusiasm. She moved her tongue gingerly afterwards, hating the nasty aftertaste of the ink and feeling slightly resentful that she wouldn't be able to manage much more than soup for a day or two until it healed. Now that she was kind of free, she wanted to eat something other than the nutritious but boring prison food. And she wanted to be able to complain about it if she wanted to, damn it! She wouldn't be doing much talking until that tongue healed either.
She'd been released, perhaps unsurprisingly, into the care of Naruto and Sakura, after she gave her oath, and received the hitai-ate. She held the cloth and metal garment in her hands for several long minutes, just looking at it. She'd never really held allegiance to a village, despite being born to one she barely remembered, becoming a refugee to Kusa, and joining Ota. She had an odd feeling of foreboding when she tied it around her head.
Somehow, Karin had become probationary Konoha nin. Who knew what would happen from here, when the world had already gone crazy.