"Would you please talk to me?" he begged in an almost desperate voice. Candy ignored him completely, her step becoming faster and faster until she was running. Lysander didn't grab her arm roughly like Castiel would have done, nor shouted something like Armin would. He just let her go. She usually loved his calm and stoic demeanour, but right now she cursed it. She could almost imagine how he looked at this moment: confused eyes watching her back as it got further and further away, his stretched out hand hanging aimlessly mid-air. The image alone sent a painful sting through her heart.
I have to get away from here. From her. From all of them.
It was too much to handle all at once. Finally she had realized her feelings, only to witness how Priya, the new girl, had easily taken her place. Of course they liked her better, even Candy couldn't really hate her, no matter how much she wanted to. She was absolutely perfect in any way humanly possible. It was painful to watch how quickly the new girl had managed to fit in and be on such good terms with everyone. However, the most excruciating and heartbreaking was how even Lysander let his walls down around her, something that had taken Candy ages.
Tears blurred her vision. Still Candy kept running until she was outside the building and quickly hid behind an old tree near the gardening club. It was usually quiet there and curious onlookers wouldn't witness her break down. She crouched down, arms around her knees, cradling herself as the dams broke.
Finally she let the salty tears roll freely down her face, silently sobbing. She knew how stupid it was to feel this way, there was no logic behind it. But that was the thing about feelings. Feelings weren't logical, and seeing how well Priya and Lysander got along made her stomach hurl.
"Stupid, stupid. Now he knows for sure there is something wrong."
Desperately she wiped away her tears, only for more to come out. By now, the rims of her eyes were red and puffy. How could she ever face Lysander again? Even worse, how would she ever confess now all of this had transpired? Of course Rosa would keep bugging her about it, and Candy didn't have the courage to confess that she had run away to cry and feel sorry for herself.
An almost chuckle got choked by a new supply of sobs. "I'm so pitiful."
"I'm almost certain you are not", a voice behind her resounded.
"I'm almost certain you are not", a voice behind her resounded. The calmness it conveyed was partly undone by the heavy huffing. There he stood, the boy she wanted to see the least and most in the whole world.
Her voice slightly cracked when she uttered his name in surprise. "Lysander."
Instead of saying anything, Lysander quietly took place next to her, maintaining a respectful distance. From the looks of it, he was trying to catch his breath, his chest heavily going up and down. Was he searching for me?
They sat there for a while in a slightly uncomfortable silence. It was impossible to act as if nothing was wrong, not with the traces of dried up tears still on her cheeks and her red, puffy eyes.
Lysander was the first to break the silence. "Do you… want to talk?"
Candy slightly tensed at the sudden question. "T-there isn't much to talk about. I'm just being silly."
A finger softly stroked her cheek, tracing the trail of tears. "I don't think this is you just being silly. I can lend you my ear if you want to. It is not good to keep everything inside. Or maybe you don't trust me?" His appearance contorted into a sad expression when he suggested it.
Quickly Candy denied it, shaking her head vigorously. Of course she trusted him. She trusted him so much it hurt. "It's not that. I do trust you", she held Lysander's gaze to assure him that nothing of this was his fault, "I just feel so pathetic right now, and I didn't want anyone to see me this way."
"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. It's okay, Candy." His soothing voice brought her on the verge of tears again. She had expected that by now she had run out of them, but the way he gently took her in his arms, lightly stroking her back brought it all back. The heartache, and how much she needed him. God, she needed him.
So she told him everything. Well, almost everything. In between sobs she revealed how insecure Priya made her feel and how stupid she felt for feeling this sorry for herself. "I know she is not a bad person, but I feel as if I'm replaced by a better and smarter version of myself. Nobody needs me anymore."
"Nobody needs me anymore."
Lysander had been listening quietly, never interrupting while holding her very gently. She revelled in his warmth and the familiar scent of parchment and roses. It was only at the mention of her being worthless that his grip tightened a bit.
"Lysander?" Candy looked up at him questionably, but he immediately cast his eyes towards the ground.
At last his answer came. "Don't ever think something like that again," he reprimanded, "because it will never be true. I need you." At that moment he turned towards her, still holding her tightly. A faint blush was spread across his cheeks.
He looks adorable. Candy wanted nothing more than to believe his words. They lit a small flicker of hope inside her chest and she couldn't help but think 'what if'.
"Priya found your notebook, didn't she?"
"You saw that?"
Candy nodded. All she wanted right now was to stay in Lysander's arms, so she had to know for sure.
"I always felt like finding your notebook was kind of my job. Turns out there are others who can do the same. You two seemed so cosy, I never expected you to open up so much to someone else besides Rosa, Castiel or me." She couldn't help but let some jealousy slip into her last comment.
He softly smiled at her, which made Candy frown at this unexpected behaviour. "But his smile is still wonderful", she thought begrudgingly.
"You know, I don't just hang out with you because you always manage to find my notebook. Nor was I aware that I was particularly 'cosy' with Priya. If it looked that way, that was because she got a hold of a weak point of mine."
Surprised by his confession, Candy straightened up a bit. "A weak point?" she inquired curiously. Lysander gave her a complicated look, but couldn't resist the pleading way she gazed up at him.
"She confessed to leafing through my notebook to see who it belonged to and accidentally came across something else."
His face was getting redder with every second, and Candy could feel his heartbeat speeding up, her hand still on his chest. It was enough to heat up Candy's own face. He let out a deep sigh and released her to grab something out of his leather bag. Already, Candy started to miss his assuring warmth when he suddenly handed her his precious notebook. "Last page", he whispered, averting his eyes in an embarrassed way.
Candy flicked through the notebook with impatience until she reached the designated page. There was a single poem in Lysandre's elegant handwriting.
A smile like the sun the earth did shake
Afraid that her heart would settle
If another suitor ever did her take
Away, my deepest sorrow would unravel
A name so sweet, it melts like honey
Bees flock around, only for her
Happiness given that even money
Cannot buy, one look does my heart stir
Candy, the night sky blue cannot compare
My mind in shambles, my heart lost
My love only goes out to her
To Candy, whom I love the most
For a while she sat there, not believing what she had read.
"This can't be true", Candy muttered over and over, her hand clasping her mouth, "this can't be true."
Her reaction left Lysander quite upset. "Is it… too much?" he stammered, fondling with one of the buttons on his jacket.
"No!" Candy loudly exclaimed, tugging at his arm until he turned to face her. "I couldn't be happier! It just- it just doesn't feel real to me yet."
Relieved he breathed a sigh as he once again took her in his arms.
"Lysander", Candy shyly confessed, nuzzling up against his chest, "I love you."
He gave her a squeeze, acknowledging her muffled confession.
"To me, you're irreplaceable."